Chapter 9- Disagreements
The walk to Bilbos house was quiet their hands clasped together swinging between both of them,"Has Balin asked you anything, about us I mean."She turned to face Thorin. 'He has made his concerns known. Do not worry tho Balin is only looking out for me as he has always done." The corners of his eyes crinkling up with his smile."Oh, have you told him,does he know about us?" He knows" Thorin said increasing the pressure a little on her hand."He has known since the night we first arrived" He brought their clasped hands to his lips placing a kiss there." And"? She asked"?" He is concerned this will only bring unnecessary grief upon the both of us. "Thorin wrapped his arms around her burying his face in the crown of her head. "I will not let anyone drive a wedge between us". Thorin held her closely as silent tears slipped down her face. " I have been wanting to inquire as to how you are feeling ? You were so ill when we arrived. " I feel a lot better whatever Oin and Gloin gave me to drink it worked wonders, better than any cold tablet I might add. "She took Thorins face between her hands and kissed him softly. Just the brush of her lips against his lit a fire he knew could only be quenched in one way. They devoured each other till their breaths came in gasps and strangled moans .Thorin biting her lip and she receiving the deep kiss that only made the want stronger between them." By Mahal I would have you now right here ". He tore his mouth away from hers in a deep groan and gathered her close. "Thorin this is crazy why, why me, you could have any woman in the world why would you want a girl from a place from another time ,another world. I am a nobody i'm not even a dwarf. Have you even thought about that?" She pulled away to look him in the eyes." I have ," he held his great hands aside her face one of his thumbs brushing the moisture from her face." And I care not what others think I only know what I feel for you and I so desire you in ways I never have another." Philicia wrapped her arms around the dwarf king and they held each other a while before heading up the little road that led to Bilbos house.
"Ah there you are laddie" Balin said as soon as they came into the entry way."We were debating sending a search party to find you". Not to worry the house was in sight at all times." " And the view is beautiful from atop the hill".Philicia added her hand pointing to the window and the lake beyond. Suddenly remembering Raven hill and what is going to take place she made an excuse to leave before anyone could see her break down . Philicia hurried to her room nearly knocking Nori and Dori down in the proscess."Sorry " she said shutting the door behind her. Philicia collapsed in the big bed face down burying her sobs in the soft down comforter. "I can't do this " she cried" why ,why what if I fail ,what then, just to know he might die . Why did you let me fall in love with him. WHY, WHY" she screamed pummeling her fist into the blankets. They had a faint scent of sandelwood and spicy pine and a smell that she knew was Thorins alone. Philicia breathed in his scent and cried for what might be lost should she be unsuccessful . She didn't realize that someone had been by the door and had heard her cries from the other side."Philicia was just wiping her eyes when the knock came" Might I come in"? Balins voice sounded from the other side." It's open" she croaked trying to hold back tears. "I heard your cries are you alright lass? Thorin , did he treat you badly? If he did I will surly let him know it king or not." Balin was looking at her with his gentle eyes that reminded her of the grandpa she hardly got a chance to know."I am ok and no Thorin has always respected me." Well that is good to know lass . I know how he feels about you and with that his temper can be a bit unnerving at times." I know " she replied" ''Tell me Lady Philicia honestly . Do you love him?" She was quiet for a moment then looking Balin straight in the eyes she said " More than life itsself. He is the only one I have ever felt this way with . I would die for him." " Aye, and he for you . You both have not known eachother very long but when a dwarf finds their one they know it instantly". Balin left her to ponder those words.
A little while later Philicia found herself in Bilbo's kitchen showing Bombar how to make cheeseburgers and french fries. "Thats it and when they come out of the hot oil sprinkle them with that seasoning right away". Just then Fili and KIli came sauntering into the kitchen their stomach growling with hunger." If you two hang around here any longer well I could use an extra hand or two chopping the onions". She glares at the Durin Princes "We just wanted to see what smelled so good"? came Kili's fun loving attitude snagging a handful of fries."Out" she said scooting the brothers into the other room with a broom. "Well looks we have cooked up quite a feast here Bombar" Philicia smiled at the large dwarf. "Well we best get to eatin it you think". " Indeed we should" with that Philicia called that the food was done. The dwarves and the hobbit with Gandalf finally making himself known all sat around the dining table. "This smells wonderful my dear ". The wizard said taking note of the girl he had met not too long ago her fingers tracing the picture of the dwarf kings face tears streaming down her cheeks. So the burgers were passed around and heaps of fries were dissapearing as quickly as Bombar could bring them from the kitcken." Thank you "Philicia said noting there was something vaugely familier about the old man. "Well , what do you think"? she asked her eyes moving over everyone. "Delicious" came Fili's responce. "Yes I will have another one" kili said reaching for another burger. She watched as each dwarf gave their appproval at her strange cooking. Last she lifted her eyes to Thorin as he quietly took another bite of his burger. Suddenly all the ruckus was quiet as they waited their kings answer."Philicia" He stood up" once Erebor is reclaimed you will have to show the cooks how to prepare these. I find them very tasty indeed" Thorin nodded his head tword Philicia and all the dwarves even the Hobbit cheered" Well that setteles it I guess I will have to apply for a position as cook when we get to Erebor." She threw her head back and laughed a warm respit from the tears of earlier. After alll had their fill Bombar offered to clean up since she had done most of the cooking so Philicia went in search of the old man. She found him in the parlor with Bilbo."Hello"she said coming up to him" Good to see you felling better my dear you were quite sick when Thorin showed up here with you." " Do I know you, have we met before"? Philicia turned to Bilbo" Could I have a moment please"? she said placing her hand on The Hobbits arm."Oh yes of course I will go and see how the clean up is going". Once they were alone Philicia turned to him searching her memory" Wait a minute. I do know you" Just then Thorin came up next to her." You were in the theater after The battle of the five armies. It was you.' Gandalf spoke then" And what did you tell me my dear?" He towered over her." I said I would change it if I could. " " Well now you get that chance" he patted her hand."Gandalf," Thorin raised his proud face to the wizard."You are responsible for this"? he accused."I am indeed .How much have you told him"? Gandalf wispered to her." Everything I could remember, the quest, being here the trolls, the goblins, even Ravehill. " She has told me all she can remember."Thorin put his arm around Philicia protectivly. "Please do not inform the rest of the company of your forknowledge the less they know the better" Gandalf cautioned them and Philicia told him she hadn't planned on telling anyone. "But you told Thorin my dear. why?" "Gandalf, do you know why I was crying the night you saw me? Because my heart was breaking .When Azog stabbed Thorin in the foot , my foot burned like the sting of an ant bite and when he stabbed him in the stomach oh God I couldn't breathe . Do you know why,why I felt that way. Because I loved him. I loved him then and I love him now." "Well that is interesting news indeed I hope you know what you are getting into Thorin Oakenshield?" With that the wizard was gone. "Do you know what you are getting into?" She asked facing Thorin." Yes and No" came his irritated responce. Philicia reached up and smoothed his hair from his face. "I don't know either but what ever comes we will face it together." With that Philicia planted a quick kiss on his lips. Then turned and left him to brood alone."Thorin went to find Bilbo knowing he had to ask him about a trusted family Philicia could stay with while they were gone.
Philicia was in the kitchen helping with the clean up when she heard voices in the parlor." Is there anyone that could be trusted to take care of her Master Bilbo?" Thorin paced back and forth awating The Hobbits answer. "Well there is the Tooks I think they would be a good choice. When do you all plan on leaving"? Bilbo asked. "We will be leaving within three day's, early ,I might add. Master Baggins I can not take her to Erebor with us she would never survive the journey". Philicia had crept to the dining room so she could listen closer. As soon as she heard Thorin she stepped out from her hiding spot" OH-HELL-TO-THE-NO, you are not leaving me behind."She screamed at the dwarf king hands on her glared at Thorin fire in her eye's. "You are staying it had already been deceided." Thorin spat back at her." I will not risk your safety on this quest". With all the hollering that was going on the rest of the company came running but Thorin held up his hand warning them to come no further. "This is a bunch of bullshit Thorin I am going and that's it." "No, you are not". He retorted ''Yes I am". She spat back. "Philicia be sensible the wilds is no place for you". By that time she was fueming with anger and pain and before she realized what she was doing she hit Thorins massive chest palms flat driving him against the wall "You listen to me Thorin Oakenshield and you listen good, I did not come across time itself TO SAVE YOUR DAMN DURIN ASS". Thorin didn't dare move as Bilbo and the rest of the company looked on. "Just then Gandalf stormed into the room. "What in heavens is going on over here? "He bellowed. Just Then Thorin pushed her away from him and Gandalf caught her before she could fall. "Thorin, what are you doing"? The wizard scolded. "She refuses to listen to reason Gandalf tell her I am only concerned for her safety." Thorin said desperation in his tone." Lady Philicia" Balin began " You should at least listen to what Thorin has to say". She turned to the white bearded dwarf " Why so he can leave me here with complete strangers while he goes galivanting half way across the damn world. I don't think so. He's the one that refuses to be reasonable". She pointed her finger at the king. Thorins temper was getting the best of him as he balled his hands into fists ready to punch something. " Thorin" Bilbo said '',Please don't put holes in my walls". With that the dwarf king stormed off and out the door. " "If you leave me here Thorin , DON'T BOTHER COMING BACK" Philicia screamed as the big round door shut in front of her. Dori, Fili you go with him" Balin said " Kili you need to stay here look after Lady Philicia"
"Where do you think he is going"? Fili asked as they followed him." Probably to drink off his anger I would bet" Dori answered. Sure enough they were correct. Thorin went into the Green Dragon and sat down at a table in a corner." What are you havin"? The barmaid asked?" Thorin ordered a pint of ale and immediatly slammed it down. "You know uncle drowning it in ale will not make the problem go away" Said Fili as him and Dori joined Thorin at his table. They ordered pint's also but sippped theirs instead." Why does she not listen to reason" He grumbled slamming another pint. "Maybe you should just let her come with us uncle. That was definatly the wrong thing to say for Thorin gave Fili a look that meant he was serious about his decision." It was well into the evening and by then Thorin was on his twelth pint . He could barly talk let alone stand. Fili and Dori had drank lightly knowing they were only there to watch their king. "Suddenly a woman approached them " Hey honey ,"She said her eye's on Thorin" Looks like you could use some company". Thorin looked up at her." And why would you say that" He asked. "A dwarf, I have heard about dwarves maybe I would like to find out for myself". The woman answered" Thorin stood up stumbeling in the proscess ready to go off with her. " Suddenly Fili grabbed her by the arm pressed two gold coins in her hand and sent her on her way. "Time To go Uncle" Dori took care of the tab while Fili got Thorin out of there. It took both of them one on either side to get him back to Bilbos house. They got him as far as the sofa in the parlor and left him to sleep it off. Kili woke up hearing his uncle grumble about stubborn females " Is he- drunk" Kili looked at his brother." Drunk is not the word for it, he is completly how would Philicia say it-trashed." It took Fili, KIli and Dori to get Thorin on his side. They covered him with a blanket and let him sleep." How is the Lady Philicia"? Dori asked Kili. "She was really upset she went to her room has not come out all evening however we all heard her crying and bad I might add". "They must work thorough this on their own" Fili said" "I am going to sleep you both should do the same.
Thorin woke the next morning with the hangover from hell. His head ached his stomach was churning and the light was blinding."Here Drink this" Gloin said handing him a concotion for his hangover." All the rest of the dwarves were waking up and upon seeing their king in his state all deceided to avoid him till he felt then Philicia came into the room on her way to the kitchen. She looked at Thorin with a hurt look on her face. shook her head and proceeded into the kitchen."Serves him right "She grumbled" Just then Dori grabbed her arm and turned her around." You should not say that he almost went away with a a". "With a hooker, wouldn't surprise me any ". S he said still angry beyond words." I have to help Bilbo with breakfast anybody got any arsnic to put the damn stubborn dwarf out of his misery". with that she stomped off.
So for the next two days it continued the silence between the both of them . After dinner that evening Balin knocked on Philicias door" May I come in Thorin needs a change of clothes." She had locked him out of the room after their argument and refused to let him share the room with her." It's open " She said. Balin reaching for Thorins bag sat down and patted the mattress motioning for her to join him." You both cannot go on like this. Do you want to condem him to a life of lonliness.? " "What", she gasped" I'm sure he will have no problem finding some one else." Balin stared her in the face" No lass he will not, Thorin will pine for you the rest of his life. You see a dwarf only gives his heart to one and one only. Thorin loves you, that much I am sure of and he will never love another." "I didn't know that", she said the tears starting to run. "Do ye still love him ?"Balin asked."Yes". "She broke as the sobs came crashing out. Just then Balin raised his head turning twords the door. "Work this out you two" Balin said taking his leave. Thorin sat next to her and figheted with his fingers not saying a word." I'm sorry" she cried to him. " If you would have been anyone else you would have lost your head for what you did". Thorin warned." I know " she added." Why, why do you want to leave me here" ? At least answer that ,please Thorin." Thorin got up and put his back against the wall with his elbows cupping eachother." Philicia we are dwarves, we are used to the hard life on the road you are a human girl and one not of this world you are not accostomed to the harshness that will be and the dangers."He breathed. " Dangers, I know every danger you all are going to face when and where. How can I do what I was sent here to do when my butt is sitting in The Shire waiting for you to come back" She sobbed into her hands'. " I know you do not agree with this but I only want to protect you Philicia" Thorin was quiet then."And what about me don't you think I want to do the same for you." She looked at Thorin her amythest eyes full of tears." I love you too much to stay behind. I can't help if i'm not there, don't you see if i'm not there you will die I can't bear it . Please don't ask this of me " With that Philicia broke down she hurled herself at Thorin sobbing brokenly falling to her knees her heart breaking as she cried into him. Thorin reached down and gently put his hands under her arms and pulled her to his chest. Her head laying over his heart" He wrapped his huge arms around her knowing he had lost the battle.
"If you are going to go with us you had better get some rest for their will be no soft beds to sleep on the journey". Thorin brushed his lips against hers and even tho he was still angry they had come to an understanding with each other. " I will" She said" Thorin, amralime". He was just about to leave when suddenly his lips claimed hers in a searing kiss and then he was gone. So while they went over the last details of the quest Philicia took a bath got her things ready and prayed, a lot." Please God if you are in this world also give me the knowledge to help them" . After her bath she dried off but on her last clean pair of pjs and tried to take Thorins advice and sleep but sleep would not come easily her mind was full and her heart still hurt . She was also full of so many concerns sleeping without Thorin next to her these last few nights had been torture. She had gotten used to his warmpth." Well better get used to him not being here after all tomorrows the day." With that she left the one single candle burning curled up with a book and tried to sleep.
