Don't turn writing into a chore for me. I know when people send me messages to get me to write more. Please don't do that unless I'm gone for like, a year or so. I went over this already. But I guess I'll tell the whole story. Did you know I'm a student still? Did you know that all my classes are either honors or AP (college level)? Did you know that I'm in drama (plays and musicals and such) and on a swim team that operates almost every day? Did you know I have people I care about that I want to dictate time to, such as a lover? Did you know that I'm also an artist that draws digital art? Well, you know now. (Cover art ideas for any of my stories is helpful)
Oh and here's a refresher on how I update my stories: Once a month (or longer, probably longer,) alternating which stories I update (one update will be Dawnstar's Legacy and the next will be History Rewritten. Sometimes it will be a oneshot or something like that in between,) it takes longer than a day to write one chapter, as most of you probably know from experience.
Also please, please, please, tell me if there are any plot problems (like deus ex machina or unclear details or just plain old stupidity), grammar issues, or just something that doesn't make any sense. So basically I need some feedback. I'd appreciate it if you gave me some. I don't like it when my writing isn't at its best and I would like to become a better writer for the future.
Recommended song of the day: From the Dust by Rogue
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A bright, intense beam of light seemed to cut right through Brokenpaw's face when he opened his eyes. Startled, the tabby apprentice shut his eyes again to avoid the pain. Meanwhile, his body felt frozen in place! Panic sunk into Brokenpaw's mind.
I can't move! What did that ThunderClan fox heart do to me?!
Then, the over powering scent of herbs and moss filled Brokenpaw's nose.
I made it to the medicine den?
Slowly, the dark tabby opened his eyes again. The light was still painful, but much less so once his eyes adjusted to the low light of the medicine den. Herbs lay in neat piles all around the walls of the den and moss lined the contours of his body. A water drenched moss ball sat by Brokenpaw's muzzle. Eagerly, the tabby lapped at the cool liquid. Brokenpaw relished in the feeling of life flowing back into his body. His wounds and limbs still ached, but any small comfort was welcome. Testing his strength, the tabby apprentice flexed his claws and then his forelegs. He winced when his shoulder creaked from his injuries.
That she cat's gonna pay!
Once he was satisfied with his health, Brokenpaw swing his paws forward to push himself up. Pain laced his movements when he applied pressure to his shoulders. He hissed in frustration and flopped back down into his makeshift nest. Determined not to give in, Brokenpaw hoisted his body upright, ignoring the screaming pain his body was in. But the pain didn't cease, not right away. Brokenpaw growled to himself; the pain was a constant reminder of how he failed himself and his quest to become a warrior.
I could have beaten that cat! I could have beaten them all! I could have killed them all if I wanted to!
Brokenpaw didn't, no, couldn't understand his weakness in the battle. Every day the apprentice saw his fighting prowess grow like a weed in the spring sun. Every day he pitted himself against his clan mates and emerged victorious from a mock battle. Every day he managed to best Dawnstar at her own game. But not today.
Today he lost and that was all that mattered. Today he failed to prove himself worthy as a ShadowClan warrior. But thought failed to sink in. Brokenpaw was the perfect cat. He was one of the best, if not the best, fighting cat. If he was so skillful, why had he failed so miserably? The dark tabby mentally struggled. He reached within the depths of his mind to find an answer, but to no avail.
Disheartened, he called out to Dawnstar. But the grey and white she cat gave no response. Nor did she appear in front of his eyes like she normally would.
Dawnstar had abandoned Brokenpaw. She gave up on him.
Brokenpaw almost let out a whimper. The silvery warrior had felt closer than a sister to him, like a second skin. But now she was gone and Brokenpaw felt strangely empty.
Why? Why me?
The apprentice sighed. Now was not the time to dawdle in the past. Now was the time to become a warrior.
I must prove myself. I must. Then Raggedstar will notice me for what I am. Maybe Dawnstar will come back if she sees that I'm a capable warrior.
Slowly and carefully, Brokenpaw padded out of the medicine den. The earth felt good on the bottoms of his paws, almost like they were born in the earth. He relished at the scent of the damp, ShadowClan air. It was a warm welcome after the time in the stuffy, herb tainted den. But Brokenpaw barely made it out of the entrance when a grey and white cat nearly smashed into him.
"Brokenpaw! You're awake! You aren't supposed to be awake until tomorrow, let along up and walking!" The grey cat sniffled. Brokenpaw repulsed from him slightly as the medicine cat apprentice prodded his wounds and joint with his paws and rearranged the cob web bandages.
"I'm fine Runningpaw. I've been fine since I made it back to camp." Brokenpaw said flatly. Runningpaw's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Are you? I maybe still an apprentice, but I know what I'm doing. You were collapsed at the camp entrance with enough cuts and bites to make a fox jealous. Yellowfang and I were surprised you even made it to camp."
Brokenpaw's eyes widened at the thought. How did he get her? Was he carried? Did Yellowfang carry him? Runningpaw continued his fussing.
"Yellowfang said you should stay in the camp for a quarter moon." Runningpaw mewed. Brokenpaw almost fell backwards in shock.
"A quarter moon?! But I need to be out training!" Brokenpaw almost yowled. Several cats around camp turned towards the scene. A few elders snickered at the tabby apprentice. But Brokenpaw ignored all of them. They weren't important. Runningpaw visibly flinched at Brokenpaw's outburst. The tabby tom didn't relent. His eyes blazed with furry. How dare another cat decide his future for him! At this rate, Brokenpaw thought he would be an apprentice forever. Runningpaw nearly whimpered.
"Being a warrior can't be that important, can it?"
Brokenpaw stopped dead for a moment. His dark amber gaze hardened like ice.
"It means everything to me!" He yowled.
The world around Brokenpaw seemed to dissipate. He and Runningpaw were the only beings that resided in the universe. No one else in the world existed. Runningpaw had killed his pride and he would have to pay for it. The grey and white cat sniffled and braced himself. Brokenpaw lifted up a paw, unsheathed his claws and swung his foreleg in a powerful swipe! But suddenly, pain latched itself in his shoulder, paralyzing him. The tabby tom let out a cry and withdrew his paw. Runningpaw tentatively looked back at his friend.
"Go back, Brokenpaw," Runningpaw growled, "go back or I tell Raggedstar."
Brokenpaw was ultimately surprised by Runningpaw's aggression. For as long as they had known each other, Runningpaw was gentler, passive cat of the two. Brokenpaw was the assertive, bold half.
Reluctantly, Brokenpaw backed into the medicine den. Runningpaw followed suit and sat next to Brokenpaw's nest, beckoning with his tail at the moss. Brokenpaw obeyed and sat down. Runningpaw turned and retrieved various herbs from the divots in the den walls. Then, the grey and white tom chewed them into a poultice and applied them to Brokenpaw's wounds and topped them with cob webs.
Brokenpaw ignored the dull sting that arrived with the medicine. Runningpaw was as gentle as ever, but even the small gesture seemed to take a stab at his pride.
"I can take care of myself, you know." Brokenpaw meowed. Runningpaw ignore him and continued applying the herb juice. Once he finished, Runningpaw padded out of the den. Before leaving completely, Runningpaw stopped at the den entrance.
"I only care because you're my friend." He said. But before Brokenpaw could form a response, the grey and white apprentice disappeared into the now strange environment that was ShadowClan.
