To Whatever End: Chapter Nineteen
-Kathryn-
The atmosphere in the main hall of the citadel was so tense I could barely stand it. The weight of the stony silence across the room pressed down on all of us gathered there, and a part of me wanted to scream just to break it. Everyone stood still as statues - you could practically feel the whole room holding its breath. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Erin twisting the rings on her fingers as she stared at the floor, Legolas just off to her left with an equally somber expression. Éomer and I stood not far from them, and Faramir as well, with Gimli having taken his spot upon the seat of the Steward as we waited for the meeting to begin. Aragorn and Gandalf had summoned all of us to discuss what our next move would be now that the battle for Minas Tirith was over. It had been just over a week now, and obviously we all knew the fight against Sauron hadn't truly been won yet. But over the past several days, as more cleanup had been done, word had been spreading about the number of casualties we'd endured on our side, and they hadn't been good numbers. Which particularly left Erin and I more worried than we might've normally been.
Finally, Aragorn broke the silence from where he stood, voicing the question we all dreaded hearing the answer to. "How many men have we lost?" he asked, looking to Faramir.
"More than half," the captain answered. "We started with nine thousand in defense of this city, and this morning Beregond reported they counted over six thousand dead." My heart dropped at the statement, and I shot Erin a look from the side. I'd seen the damage done to the city itself, but hearing that Sauron had wiped out more than two thirds of Gondor's defense was another thing entirely.
Aragorn then turned to Éomer, who shared a similar grim expression. "We have not fared much better. I estimate four thousand casualties on our side."
My eyes widened. Oh my God... We had six thousand coming in. That's almost the entire cavalry. "So what does that leave us with, then?"
The ranger let out a breath, shaking his head. "Between the forces of Gondor and Rohan combined... less than five thousand."
"Left alive," Erin pointed out. "Half of those men are probably injured or still unaccounted for."
"That is also true," he admitted. Another moment of silence fell over us until he spoke again. "What are we to do, then?"
Now Faramir frowned. "What can we do, other than repair what damage has already been done? We are in no position to do anything now other than tend to our own."
"Rebuild our strength," Gimli grunted in agreement. "Sauron ran back to his shadowlands, and we have time to wait and prepare for whatever's next."
There were other nods and affirming murmurs from around the room, and I looked back to Aragorn as he considered the advice. I could tell there was something deep within him that didn't want to just give up now, but the longer he stood there, the more he seemed swayed by the others. Gandalf remained silent with his back to all of us, gazing off into the distance, lost in thought.
Just then, however, Erin's voice cut across the room. "It's not our only option."
Instantly, all eyes turned to her, Éomer's in particular as they narrowed in skepticism. "What more would you advise? Our armies our spent, and Minas Tirith lies in ruins. We should rebuild our defenses here and focus on survival."
"But if we stay here, it leaves Sauron another opening to rear back and attack us again," Erin argued. "He knows we're beaten, he expects us to fall back licking our wounds. And if he gathers enough strength to attack us again with even a tenth of the armies he had before, we're done. This city won't last another assault."
Éomer's frown deepened. "What are you suggesting, then?"
At his question, Erin hesitated, glancing my way as she spoke. "I'm suggesting... that maybe we take advantage of this opportunity." Now her eyes locked onto Aragorn's. "We should attack Sauron now while we have the chance."
You could almost physically feel the shock that swept the room, every man there now looking at Erin like she'd suddenly sprouted a second head. "Are you mad?!" Éomer said. "We do not have the strength to attack him!"
"We still have a few thousand," I countered, catching on to Erin's play. "That's worth something."
"If we were meeting him on neutral ground, perhaps there may be a shred of hope," Faramir cut in. "But to launch and assault on the host of Mordor itself with less than five thousand is suicide!"
"It's not like Sauron walked out of this without any casualties of his own," I fired back. "His army was nearly destroyed just as much as ours was."
"We do not know that the host sent to Minas Tirith was the entire host of Mordor, Kathryn," Faramir shook his head. "Sauron could have another hundred thousand Orcs at his back, and against them we will not stand a chance." He looked back to the others. "It is a fight we cannot win!"
But then Erin turned on him. "Who said it has to be about winning a fight?" Faramir looked back to her in confusion as Erin's gaze turned to match Aragorn's once again. "It's never been about winning a fight."
It was silent for several seconds as the ranger stared back at her, and I saw the spark in his eyes as he realized what she truly meant. He turned to Gandalf, who still stood motionless by the throne. "What news of Frodo and Sam?"
The wizard said nothing for a moment, finally speaking with a solemn, heavy tone. "...Frodo has passed beyond my sight." He turned to face the rest of us, a sense of hopelessness clouding his face. "The darkness is deepening."
Aragorn, however, did not seem entirely convinced as he turned away, thinking. "If Sauron had the Ring, we would know it."
"It's only a matter of time," Gandalf said, giving a brief nod in Erin's direction. "He has suffered a defeat, yes, but behind the walls of Mordor our enemy is regrouping."
"Let him stay there. Let him rot!" My eyes flicked to the dwarf as he slumped back in his seat, smoking his pipe. "Why should we care?"
"Because ten thousand Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom," Gandalf shot back, silencing any further retorts from Gimli. My gaze fell to my feet as it fell silent again, knowing the severity of the situation and having no simple answer to it. "...I've sent him to his death," I heard the wizard mutter.
All of a sudden, though, Aragorn turned back to us. "No. There is still hope for Frodo. He needs time, and safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth. We can give him that."
Now he was the one drawing perplexed looks from the others. "How?" Gimli questioned him.
"Draw out Sauron's armies," he replied. "Empty his lands!" He turned to Erin and I, confidence in every word. "Erin and Kathryn are right. We must gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate." Faramir's eyes nearly bulged out of his head, and Gimli choked on his pipe smoke, coughing and sputtering at Aragorn's seemingly insane proposal.
Éomer stepped forward, still uncertain. "We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms."
"Not for ourselves," Aragorn said, "but we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's eye fixed on us." Now he looked at Gandalf knowingly. "Keep him blind to all else that moves."
A small smile crossed Legolas' face as he understood. "A diversion."
I also took a step forward, looking around the circle. "It is risky," I agreed. "Incredibly risky, and crazy. But crazy enough that it just might work."
Even Gimli was grinning now from behind his pipe. "Certainty of death! Small chance of success! ...What're we waitin' for?" I grinned back as he gave me a wink.
"So it is settled, then?" Éomer asked. "We ride for Mordor?"
Aragorn gave a firm nod. "Have every man and woman able to bear arms prepare for battle. We ride for the Black Gate within a week."
He gave a final gesture of dismissal before turning to discuss things further with Gandalf, and a notable shift passed through the room as everyone let out a collective breath. The decision had been made. Now it was just a matter of time until we rode out for the final confrontation with Sauron. Gimli promptly got up from the throne and left, with Legolas and Faramir also wandering off shortly after. I turned to the short-haired woman at my side as she shifted and smoothed out the fabric of her tunic. "You got any plans for the afternoon?"
"Nope," Erin answered. "Not one."
I feigned shock, leaning back with a hand over my heart. "Wow, what a coincidence! Neither do I!" She laughed, and I nudged her with my good arm. "We should hang out."
She played along for a moment, pretending to look uninterested in my idea. "Hmmm... I don't know, I don't think I want to spend all day with you, Kathryn. That sounds exhausting."
I frowned, lightly swatting at her. "Rude." She laughed again.
"She is quite a handful, to be fair," Éomer commented as he walked over to us.
Now my offended glare turned on him. "Okay, I give up. You're both assholes." Éomer just shrugged, still smirking, and I rolled my eyes as the three of us headed out of the main hall together. "What did I ever do to deserve you two?"
"No idea," Erin quipped back, "but you're stuck with us now." We stepped out into the hall, and she jerked her head to the left. "Want to go to the training grounds with me? I'm not going to do anything crazy, I just want to practice my archery a little while I'm taking it easy."
"Sure. I'll probably just watch, though, so can we run back to the room for my shawl? It's cool out there today." Erin nodded, and I glanced to Éomer. "You want to come?"
He shook his head. "I've other people to speak with today, if we are to prepare our troops to leave. I will walk with you, though, and return to my own chambers on the way."
"Okay, that's fine." We started off towards the rear of the citadel, and as we walked I found myself admiring the minimalist, sharp aesthetic of the citadel. Marble statues of ancient kings lined the halls as we walked, with the occasional muted tapestry spaced in between them. It almost felt like I was walking through a museum.
Erin noticed my wandering gaze and smiled. "Do you like Minas Tirith, Kathryn? I'm happy you're getting to see it for yourself now, after all this time."
I nodded, still looking around. "Yeah, me too. It's all so... impressive. I really like it a lot."
From beside me, though, Éomer snickered. "I think you're more fascinated with certain people in Minas Tirith than the city itself."
As soon as he said it, my face went beet red, and I whirled on him in an instant. "Shut the hell up! I am not!"
But he was already laughing. "Oh, please. You barely spoke of anything else but her at supper yesterday."
"I'm sorry, what?" Erin's brow shot up with immediate interest, latching on to what Éomer had said. "Who are we talking about, who's 'her?'"
Oh God... what a question. I bit my lip, suddenly feeling flustered and stumbling over my words. "Uh, you know, just - just a girl... A girl I definitely meant to tell you about earlier, who's... really cute."
Just as expected, Erin's eyes went wide as saucers, a massive grin splitting her face. "Oh my God, a girl?! Kathryn!" She smacked my shoulder, mouth agape. "Are you serious?" I nodded, and she laughed. "What the hell, you told Éomer before you told me? I feel betrayed."
"I was going to tell you soon, I swear!" I defended.
"Okay, well now I want to know everything about her!" she pressed. "Who is she, how'd you meet her?"
"She's a healer," I said, "her name's Míriel." Even now, just saying her name brought a smile to my face. "She's been tending to my arm; she's like, one of the youngest healers in the citadel, but also one of the best. She's treated the Black Breath before, so they assigned her to me."
"Oh my GOD, that's so cute! I'm going to vomit." Erin squealed. Éomer cast her a deeply confused and slightly disgusted look, but she ignored him. "What else - what does she look like?"
"She's tall," I answered, "with long red hair, and it's so pretty - oh my God, Erin, she's so pretty... She's got these warm brown eyes that look like chocolate, and she's super funny and sweet..." I couldn't keep myself from smiling as I spoke. "She lives here with her mother and brother, I think she said, but she's not from Minas Tirith. I think she said she used to live further south?"
"Oooh, Kathryn!" Erin was still beaming, though now I could see the mischevous sparkle in her eyes. "You got yourself a hot lady friend, huh? Woooow!"
"Not yet, she doesn't," Éomer spoke up. "And she won't if she does nothing to pursue this woman, which I've been trying to convince her of for the last three days."
"I can't just do that, Éomer!" I shot back. "I don't know how to flirt with girls, I'm horrible at it! I mean, I - I don't know, she might not even be into me like that!"
"Wait, is she gay?" Erin asked.
"I don't know, that's what I've been trying to figure out," I said. "I feel like she is, but... I mean, I don't know! How do you find that out? What do I do, just go up to her like 'Hey, quick question: are you gay? Asking for a friend.'"
"I mean, you could," Erin shrugged.
"No, I'm not doing that."
"Well you have to do something," Éomer insisted. "You can't just wait around for her to come to you."
"Sure I can! That sounds like the least threatening option to me."
"Okay, but Kathryn, what if she's in the exact same boat?" I looked back to Erin. "She might be super into you, but too afraid to make the first move. And then what? You just waste a whole bunch of time pining after each other in secret?" She paused, going distant for a second and shaking her head. "Trust me, that's not the best way to handle things."
"But how do I even... I mean, what do I say?" I felt like a middle-schooler, but truly, flirting was something I'd never felt like I'd mastered at all (unless I was super drunk, then it was a whole new ballgame).
"Just go talk to her," Éomer suggested. "Strike up a conversation and ask to spend an evening alone together, whenever she may be free."
My eyes narrowed into slits. "Oh, okay, big shot. You want to make it sound so easy over here."
He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it? I've always found it rather simple. Direct and to the point."
"Yeah, that's pretty rich coming from the guy who's been Rohan's biggest bachelor for the past five years."
Erin's jaw nearly hit the floor, and she burst into laughter as the smug expression dropped right off of Éomer's face in a millisecond. He opened his mouth, hesitated, closed it, then opened it again as he finally spit words out past a disgruntled frown. "...I don't see how that fact has any relevance to this conversation."
"Oh, come on! Are you kidding me?" I jabbed a finger at his chest. "I've never seen you approach a girl once in the last three years!" Éomer started to protest, but I cut him off with another aggressive point. "That one girl from the Eastfold doesn't count - Éowyn and I practically dumped her into your lap, and even then you didn't say more than five words to her!"
Erin was still laughing as Éomer rolled his eyes. "And I will say to you now the same thing I have said all this time: it is by my own choice that I remain uncommitted, and nothing else."
"Yeah, okay," I said, still eyeing him suspiciously. "I'm starting to think you're just also afraid to talk to girls."
He frowned. "I am not."
"Prove it."
"I will, if I ever meet one of interest."
I scoffed. "That's your way of saying 'never.'"
Éomer slowed his pace as we neared the hall leading to the wing he was staying in. "Nevertheless, I am not the one to focus on now. You should talk to her, Kathryn. And then thank me later when you realize I was right all this time."
I glared at him as he flashed me a shit-eating grin and slipped off. "Get out of here." He laughed to himself before turning and leaving Erin and I to ourselves, and I let out a frustrated groan as we kept walking. "God, he's insufferable sometimes."
Erin chuckled, shaking her head. "I'd almost pair you two up together if I didn't already know better."
I made a face. "Ew. Gross."
She raised an eyebrow. "What, you've never even once considered it?"
"God no. He's always so fucking sweaty."
She laughed again at that, cringing slightly. "Oh God. That's awful." We rounded a corner and came within sight of our room. "Although, to be fair, I doubt I'm much better half the time. The heat this summer made me really miss air conditioners."
"Oh, I know," I said, opening the door and stepping inside. "It was ridiculous. It felt like the hottest summer ever since we've been here."
"Honestly," Erin agreed. I quickly crossed the room to dig through my bag for the shawl as she waited by the door, smiling to herself again. "Poor Éomer, though. I almost wish I knew someone I could set him up with."
"Don't even get me started," I warned, reaching to the bottom and finding the fabric. "I've been trying to set him up for years, and he's turned down every single girl. I swear, I've introduced him to every available girl in Rohan at this point."
"Really? Damn. Maybe he's just doing it to mess with you."
"I don't even know." I pulled the shawl free and tossed it over my shoulders as I turned to head back out. "He always says something about Rohirric girls being too 'soft' or treating him weirdly because of his status or some bullshit like that. He's so picky."
"Maybe you need to look elsewhere, then."
"Yeah, but where?" I looked down to tie it in place as I stepped into the hallway. "I've exhausted all my options by now, I don't know anyone else I could-" It was exactly then that I collided with another body rounding the corner, and I gasped as I nearly plowed the person over, my head snapping up immediately. "Oh God, I'm sorry Faramir! Are you okay?"
The redheaded man nodded, fighting laughter as he stepped back. "It's alright, Kathryn, I am fine. No harm done."
"Okay," I exhaled. "Sorry." In that moment, however, my eyes then fell to the person who stood behind him, and immediately I froze. "...Hi! Have we met?"
The woman who stepped forward smiled, shaking her head of long, impossibly dark curls spilling freely over her shoulders. "No, I don't believe we have." She was shorter than me, but carried herself with a sense of pride and strength which almost gave her an intimidating edge. Her eyes were a deep, piercing blue, sparkling with mirth beneath strong, perfectly sculpted brows, yet with a kindness in them still.
Faramir glanced between us, nodding to the mystery woman. "Forgive me, I should've introduced you. Lothíriel, this is Kathryn of Edoras. Kathryn, this is my cousin, the lady Lothíriel of Dol Amroth. She arrived this morning bringing aid to us from the south."
I smiled back, bowing my head, though already the gears were turning. "Pleasure to meet you."
"Likewise," she replied. "I have heard you rode with the Rohirrim in battle to defend the city from attack."
I nodded. "I did. Nearly got myself killed in the process, but it all worked out." She and Faramir both laughed, but I was hardly paying attention, sharing a look with Erin as my smile widened, suddenly incredibly interested in the newcomer. I took a step forward as she looked back at me, trying my very best to sound as casual as possible. "Lady Lothíriel, forgive me, but I was just wondering... have you by any chance been introduced to my friend, Lord Éomer?"
–
-Erin-
September was now dwindling to its end as all those who remained able in the city began preparing for our final assault on Mordor. The meeting had taken place only two days ago, but already I was slowly starting to gather my things and plan for the weeks ahead. No harm in being prepared early, right? I'd been told it would take us about two weeks traveling through Ithilien to the Black Gate, so today I'd started taking inventory and figuring out what I'd need to stock up on before we left. As I looked over everything spread out across my bed, my eyes fell to a small roll of bandages, and I made a mental note to go grab more from the healers soon. I'll definitely be needing those.
Just then, there was a knock at the door, and I turned to look back over my shoulder. "It's open." I was expecting either Kathryn or Legolas, so when it was neither of those two who entered, I was slightly taken aback. "Hey."
Aragorn nodded, hands clasped behind his back as he hovered in the doorway. "May I?"
"Oh, yeah of course!" I said, beckoning him in further. "You're not interrupting anything important, really, I'm just packing."
His eyes scanned over the mess of things sprawled across the sheets, a hint of surprise and skepticism in his voice. "I had not expected you to ride with us."
"Neither did I at first," I replied. "But the healers say I'm progressing well; they expect that within a couple weeks I'll be almost fully healed. Figured I might as well go along." There was a beat of silence, and I let out a breath. "After all, I can't just sit here and let you guys have all the fun."
The joke fell awkwardly flat, not even a snicker escaping Aragorn, and I felt increasingly more uncomfortable in the somber, tense atmosphere as the seconds ticked by. He remained still, just staring at the bed for a minute before a sigh finally escaped him, turning to look at me with eyes weighed heavy with doubt. "...Is this truly what we are meant to do?" he asked. "Ride out to Mordor and fight its entire host with what little we have left?"
I nodded, empathizing with him. "Yes. I promise. I wouldn't have pushed you to do it if it wasn't."
Though I knew he trusted in what I said, I of course still understood it didn't entirely dissuade his fears. "I will not ask you to tell me how it ends," he said dryly, shaking his head.
I said nothing, a small shred of anxiety lingering at the back of my mind as well. I guess we'll find out soon enough. For a moment, I stared absentmindedly forward, thinking about how I'd always seen the final battle play out in the films and wondering if this time it would be different. But then I realized we'd fallen into silence once again, and I blinked, snapping out of it and glancing to Aragorn, who also appeared lost in thought. In reality, I'd been shocked to see him come to my room seeking me out. Ever since the incident at Helm's Deep, things had been... strained, to say the least. Even though we were still civil with each other, we didn't talk as much as we used to. We weren't close like we'd once been. Honestly, I couldn't remember the last time we'd spoken for anything other than business purposes at all. Part of me was almost afraid to speak, but yet... there was something in me pushing for it, making me feel like I had to. "...Aragorn?" I drew him from his daze as he looked at me again, and I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. "I know we haven't talked about this in awhile, and... maybe it's pointless for me to say this again, I don't know, but..." I paused, holding his gaze. "I'm sorry. I still am. I really, truly am." I shook my head. "Not a day goes by that I don't regret it or think about the damage it caused."
Something in his eyes shifted, but his expression remained unreadable. "Why are you telling me this?"
I shrugged, unsure how to answer. "I just... felt like I needed to."
His gaze lingered on me still, another moment of silence passing between us. "You've changed."
My jaw clenched, but I nodded, knowing it wasn't something I could argue. "I know."
And then he said three words that all but knocked me to the floor then and there. "...I forgive you."
I swear on my life every inch of me stilled, even my heart. "What?" He didn't just say that. Surely I must've misheard him-
"I came to tell you that I forgive you," he said again, taking a step forward. "For all of it."
...Oh my God. I stared at him in utter shock. "...Why?"
Stormy eyes met mine with a deep sincerity I could see in them now. "Because I believe you. I believe that you understand what you did, and that it was wrong, and that you regret it every day. I have seen it weighing on you since the night it happened, and I know that if you could take it back, you would. Truly." He paused, eyes searching my own. "And holding on to such anger will do nothing good for me, or for anyone. So I forgive you."
There was absolutely nothing I could say. Nothing, not a single word to describe the surge of warmth which split my chest in that moment as a relief I'd never expected to feel in my lifetime flooded over me. I all but fell into him as we pulled each other into an embrace, and couldn't help the tears spilling down my cheeks as I just stood there in shock, dumbstruck. "Thank you..." I whispered. "Thank you, thank you, thank you..." Over and over again, the words fell from my lips, and all I could think was how wildly undeserving I was of such mercy. Finally, after what felt like an age, I drew back, looking up at the man with a smile stretching wide across my face. "You're going to make an incredible king, you know that?"
Aragorn smiled back, and it felt like I was breathing fresh air again. "Let us hope."
–
-Kathryn-
My heart was pounding wildly in my ears as I moved through the halls, trying desperately to regulate my breathing and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I was so terrified, and wanted so badly to just turn and run back to our room and hide, but forced myself to keep going. Come on. I can do this. I can do this. It'll be over before I know it, everything will be fine. Just keep going. Do it and get it over with. It felt like my footsteps were echoing extra loudly off the stone walls today, which only served to spur my anxiety further. I couldn't even remember the last time I'd been this nervous for anything. Even facing down a Nazgûl felt like a cakewalk compared to this. I frowned as the thought crossed my mind, shaking my head. God, this is ridiculous. How is it I've survived Orcs, Uruk-Hai, Mûmakil, and Ringwraiths, but asking out a pretty girl seems next to impossible?
Yes, that's exactly what I was doing. That was the thing that had me quaking in my boots - today I'd decided I was going to find Míriel and officially ask her out on a date. Éomer and Erin had been bugging me incessantly about it, and after a particularly long, enthusiastic pep talk from the latter that afternoon, I'd finally psyched myself up enough to go hunt the young healer down. Granted, that confidence had vanished in a split second the moment I stepped out of our room, but before I could turn back Erin had slammed the door shut on me and locked it, forcing me to go as she yelled last-minute words of encouragement through the boards. So now here I was, wandering the halls of the citadel and feeling like a colossal idiot as I wiped the sweat off my palms. It was only now as I drew closer to the healing halls that I realized I hadn't thought this all the way through - I had absolutely no idea where to look for her down here. She could be anywhere, and this place is a maze. I glanced at a couple of elderly healers as they passed me by. Maybe I should ask for directions? 'Hey, any of you know the super cute healer named Míriel? Also, is she single?' Shit, they're already too far away. Oh God, I have no clue where I'm going. This was a dumb idea.
Just as I started to consider turning tail and running to the gardens to hide, though, I saw a familiar form round the corner at the other end of the hall, and I stopped dead in my tracks. Oh shit, oh shit! Oh my God, okay, here she comes, she's walking right towards you, you can do this you can do this you can do this - "Míriel!"
My voice cracked as I called out to her, and I wanted to sink into the floor as her head snapped up from where she'd been looking at her feet. "Kathryn!" she gasped, the faintest flush rising to her cheeks as her eyes widened. She seemed flustered for whatever reason. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't notice you!"
"Oh! No, it's no big deal, I uh... it's fine!" I smiled, hoping it looked convincing. Her hair was pulled back into an elegant braid today, and she wore a deep blue gown which made her eyes seem extra warm and inviting. Focus, Kathryn. You can do this. "How are you?"
She smiled back, and I felt like I might have a stroke. "I'm well, I suppose. Well as one can be." But then Míriel paused, glancing down at her feet again, and I noticed her nervously twisting the belt tied at her waist. "I... actually, I was hoping I would see you today."
I froze. "...You were?"
"Yes." She hesitated again, taking a deep breath and reaching to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear as she looked up at me. "I've been meaning to ask, I just... Would you perhaps be interested in exploring the city for a day with me? Sometime soon, before you leave with the others?" I felt my heart drop straight into my toes. "There's some lovely places that we can visit... just the two of us, I mean."
I just stared at her, utterly floored. "You mean, like... as a date?"
For a fraction of a second, I saw her smile waver. "Is that too bold of me?"
It was dead silent for a moment before I let out the biggest breath of relief, soon dissolving into laughter as I pressed a hand to my chest. "Oh my God... Míriel, you would not believe..." Finally, I pulled myself together, looking back at her with a wide smile of my own and shaking my head. "It's funny you should ask, because... I was on my way to ask you the same thing, actually."
Her eyes widened in shock, and then she laughed as well, and I couldn't help myself from laughing again, the two of us standing there in the hallway together reeling at the irony of it all. "I suppose it was meant to be, then," she said, a teasing sparkle in her eye.
I felt heat creep up my neck, but I ignored it, still smiling back at her. "Yeah, I guess it was."
–
-Legolas-
True to Aragorn's plan, we spent the next several days gathering all we had left to rally our armies once more, and within a week the sun was shining down on us as our company set out from Minas Tirith and began the journey to the Morannon. Despite the fair weather, we were certainly not a merry group. There was little conversation amongst the men and women who rode with us, and all seemed blanketed by some measure of trepidation or despair. No one wished to draw any closer to Mordor, but it was the path Aragorn had chosen, and we were to follow his command. In truth, I held my own fears of what lay in wait for us at the Black Gate, and would've rather remained within the shelter of the city. At least there, I could be certain of our safety. My eyes flicked briefly to a familiar silhouette ahead from where she rode alongside Kathryn and Gandalf. Of her safety. I had urged Erin to stay behind and continue healing, but she of course had insisted she was well enough to come and fight, and would hear no argument on the matter. In my heart, I had known she would come, but still I feared for her well-being and resented her stubbornness. I could only hope this battle would not be as hard on her as the last.
My gaze returned forward as we rode across the Pelennor. Still, however, her presence was a greater comfort to me than anything else, and I had not truly wished to leave her behind in the city. My mind raced back to the moment on the balcony, and even now I could hardly believe it. She loves me. It seemed impossible, and yet... she did. And I loved her equally, and... somehow, nothing about it felt foreign at all. Suddenly it had become difficult for me to focus on much else other than her, although for all the joy I felt at knowing the truth of our feelings for one another, it was mixed with just as much uncertainty. She had said it herself - so much was different now, so many things stood against us pursuing each other. When we had committed to one another in Lórien, it had seemed so right, but now there were real consequences at hand. A heavy price that I would pay if I chose her. And though I wanted to turn my back on it all, flee from the rest of the world and take Erin with me to live lives of peace where no one could touch us... it was not a decision I could make so lightly. Not when it demanded everything from me in return. I exhaled, glancing over to her again and feeling a dull sadness in my own heart. It had all been so simple in the days of the Fellowship. I regretted now not cherishing those days enough.
At that moment, she turned her head to laugh at something Kathryn said, and despite my bitter thoughts I felt my heart grow lighter as I smiled to myself. For the briefest moment, she caught my eye and looked back to meet my gaze, and it seemed to me then that her eyes shone with the light of a thousand stars. Something within them softened as they settled on me, and she said nothing before turning to face forward again, but even without a single word I could sense her heart.
"Legolas!" I was torn from my thoughts by a small jab from the dwarf at my back. "Have those pointy ears of yours turned themselves off?"
I turned to glance back at him over my shoulder. "I am sorry, Gimli. I was distracted."
He leaned out to glance ahead, quickly noticing Erin's form, and his eyes creased as he smirked up at me. "Ah, I see. Distracted by the view, no doubt."
I rolled my eyes. "How observant."
Gimli chuckled, flashing me a wink as I turned forward again. "Did she say anything to you, then? When you went to visit her?"
I smiled knowingly. "She said 'le melon.'"
"And what does that mean?" I said nothing, my smile only lingering as the dwarf huffed from behind me. "Fine, then. Keep your stupid elvish secrets."
