Visit

"I dunno, I guess having another girl would be nice," Emma said as her and Sam sat on the couch in the Bensons' home, eating from a large bowl of pork rinds together. "We'd have all of Savannah's and Katrina's hand-me-downs to use, so that's save money."

"True," Sam nodded. "Tyler used all of Jason's old stuff for the first few years and your dad and I saved a ton."

"But," Emma continued, putting a hand on the small swell of her stomach. "A boy would be nice too. I mean I love the girls more than anything, but it'd be nice to have a little guy running around too."

"I bet Quincy would like having a little boy around too," Sam grinned.

"Yeah, I think he would too," Emma smiled. "But either way, we're gonna be happy, obviously."

"When are you guys gonna find out?"

"We actually decided we want it to be a surprise again," Emma said. "So in five more months."

"I preferred keeping it a surprise too," Sam chuckled. "It bugged your Aunt Carly crazy because it meant she was limited in what she could buy, but I thought it was more exciting that way."

"Same," Emma agreed, popping another pork rind in her mouth. "Man, these are so good."

"They're the fancy kind from the deli," Sam said.

"There's just healthy junk over at Quincy's parents' place," Emma sighed. "His mom still keeps up with her old model diet."

"Well if you would've stayed here for your visit, you wouldn't have that problem, now would you?" Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"I know, but Quincy gave me this whole lecture about we need to spend time with his family too," Emma said. "And since we stayed with you guys the last time we visited I guess it was only fair we stay with them this time. But don't worry, I made sure he knew we were staying here for Christmas next month."
"Good girl," Sam beamed. "And dad and I are still the girls' favorite grandparents, right?"

"Mom, grandparenting is not a competition," Emma said.

"Quincy's not here, remember?"

"Oh right, force of habit," Emma said, shaking her head. "Yes, you guys still are. Especially after this morning when Gibby tried to feed the girls trout for breakfast."

"That guy's always had a thing with trout," Sam said.

"Anyway, it worked out pretty nicely that we stayed there this time, didn't it?" Emma continued. "Since Pete and Ashton are staying with you guys?"

"I guess," Sam nodded.

"Where are Pete and Ashton anyway?" Emma asked.

"I'm not sure, actually," Sam said. "They went somewhere this morning. They didn't tell me where."

Just then, right on cue, the front door opened and Ashton herself walked in.

"Wow, nice timing," Emma commented.

"Hey Ash," Sam smiled. "You hungry? I know you don't eat pork rinds, but there's a bag of those pretzel chips that you love in the kitchen."

"Um, no thanks, I'm not hungry," Ashton mumbled.

"Where's Pete?" Sam asked.

"Oh, um, he went to Moonbucks to send a few emails for work," Ashton replied.

Sam frowned. "Everything alright?"

"Um, yeah," Ashton said quickly.

Emma frowned at her twin as well, also getting the sense that something was bothering her. But both her and Sam knew that when Ashton didn't want to talk about something, trying to get it out of her would only make Ashton mad.

"Well…alright then," Emma said slowly. "Mom and I were just talking about whether we think this baby's gonna be a boy or a girl. You have any guesses?"

"Um, no, I-I don't," Ashton mumbled, quickly looking down at her lap.

"Ashton?" Sam said, concerned. "Hey, what's-"

"I'm gonna go lie down," Ashton said, rushing to get to her feet. "I-I'm pretty tired."

Before Emma or Sam could say anything to stop her, Ashton hurried upstairs, leaving her mother and sister confused behind her.

"I tried calling Pete, but he's not answering," Emma said an hour later as her and Sam sat in the kitchen, trying to figure out what was causing Ashton's odd behavior. "You don't think they had a fight, do you?"

"I hope not," Sam said. "Maybe it's something with work?"

"I talked to her about her job last week and she seemed fine there," Emma said, shaking her head. "Maybe-"

Just then the back door opened and Ashton's husband of three years, Pete, stepped into the kitchen.

"Oh, hi," he said, slightly surprised to see Sam and Ashton sitting there.

"Hey," Sam said. "Is something bothering Ashton?"

"Oh, I'm guessing you already saw her then, right?" Pete said heavily.

"So something is wrong?" Emma said, concerned. "Well what is it?"

"Um, it-it's kind of something between the two of us," Pete said slowly.

"What'd you do?" Emma demanded, narrowing her eyes.

"No! Nothing like that, we-we didn't fight or anything," Pete said quickly. "It's just…Look, the two of us just need to talk about some things that, um, we found out today. Is she upstairs?"

"Yeah, she said she was napping, but I'm sure she's still awake," Sam nodded. "But seriously, if something wrong with-"

"I'm sure Ashton will want to talk to both of you about this, but right now, we really need to just talk together. Alone," Pete said. "Please."

Sam sighed. "Alright. But let her know we're here, okay?"

"I will," Pete promised before turning and heading up the stairs.

"Well," Emma said. "Now I'm just gonna sit around imagining the worst-case scenario. Ugh! Being pregnant makes me act all paranoid! I'm all anxious and hungry and-"

"Come on, let's let them have the house to themselves for a few hours to discuss whatever they need to discuss," Sam said. "I'll take you out for lunch. Hopefully when we get back Ashton will be out and willing to talk."

…..

Sam and Emma returned to the house a few hours later, both still very worried about Ashton. Worst-case scenarios were rolling through their minds and even though they had gone to their favorite rib restaurant, they couldn't enjoy their afternoon wondering what on earth was going on.

When the two walked into the house, they found Ashton sitting on the couch.

"Hey," Ashton said softly. "Um, did you guys have a good lunch? I can smell the barbecue sauce on both of you. Did you go to that rib place?"

"Honey, what's going on?" Sam asked at once, ignoring her question. "Pete said you were upset and that you two needed to discuss some things. Where is he? Is everything okay?"

"He went out to go get some ice cream for me," Ashton said. "Besides, I-I told him I wanted to talk to you guys alone."

"Okay, well we're here now, what is it?" Emma asked, sitting down next to her twin. "Mom and I are kind of freaking out here."

Ashton gave them a small smile. "Sorry. I-I didn't mean to worry you guys. I'm not dying or anything, and me and Pete aren't having any issues, if that's what you were afraid of."

"Well whatever's going on obviously has you pretty rattled," Sam said gently. "Come on, Ash, talk to us."

Ashton looked down at her lap. "For the past eighteen months, um, Pete and I we-we've been…We've been trying to start a family."

"You have?" Sam said. "Well that's great! But why…Oh no…"

"Yeah, um, obviously we haven't exactly been successful," Ashton said heavily.

"Well sometimes it takes a while," Sam said quickly. "I mean your dad and I tried for over a year before I got pregnant with you two."

"I know, but still, we-we really thought we should've, well, done it by now," Ashton mumbled. "So a few months ago in California we started going to fertility centers and trying a bunch of different things. But nothing was working. One doctor finally referred us to a center here in Seattle. That-That's kind of why we came up here. Anyway, we went there this morning and they ran a bunch of tests and they found out that I-that I can't have kids. Ever."

"What?" Emma said softly. "But-But that can't be possible! I mean we're twins. Aren't we like, genetically the same person? If I can have kids then-then you should be able to-"

"Apparently it doesn't work that way," Ashton said softly, a few tears falling from her eyes.

Sam silently wrapped her arms around Ashton and let her cry into her shoulder. Emma felt a sudden surge of guilt. The past several months she remembered calling Ashton many times each week and telling her about her own pregnancy. She had just been rubbing this more in her sister's face.

"I know it-it's not the end of the world," Ashton finally said, rubbing her eyes. "Lots of couples don't have kids. But, I just…We really wanted them."

"I know," Sam said gently.

"I see how happy you and Quincy are, Emma," Ashton sniffed. "And Jason and Eileen…I really wanted that."

"You-You still can," Emma said. "You guys can adopt, can't you?"

"Yeah, we-we're gonna start looking into that," Ashton said. "But that's such a long process, if we even get approved. I know there's a ton of legal things that go on with the whole thing."

"Well I happen to be married to a lawyer," Emma said. "Seriously Ash, Quincy will handle all the legal stuff for you guys. And I can be a reference for you! I know you'd be a great parent; you're amazing with kids!"

"Yeah, honey, if you and Pete want to have a family, you can have a family," Sam nodded. "I know it won't be the way you planned, but trust me, it's not gonna matter at all once you hold your child for the first time."

"I just…It's not…"

"I know it's not fair," Sam said gently. "And-And you have every right to be upset and angry right now. Anybody in your shoes would be. But Ashton, things will work out for you guys, I promise."

Ashton nodded. "Thanks. I needed to hear that, mom."

Later that evening, Ashton was still sitting down in the Bensons' living room, absentmindedly flipping through channels but not giving any attention to the shows on the screen. Suddenly the front door opened and Emma walked in.

"Hey," Ashton said, looking up. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be over at Quincy's?"

"The girls are asleep and Quincy and his dad are doing some weird foot spa thing in his living room," Emma said, sitting down next to her twin. "Besides, I texted mom and she said you were still awake down here."

"Oh," Ashton said. "Well…yeah."

"So," Emma said, clearing her throat. "You, um, doing okay?"

"What?"

"Sorry, oh…that-that was a dumb question," Emma cringed.

"It's okay," Ashton said, giving her sister a small smile. "It's like mom said, I'm still probably gonna be upset for awhile. But, um, talking about everything today did help."

"Good," Emma said quickly.

"And Pete and I looked more into the whole adoption thing," Ashton continued. "We're going to get started on the process as soon as we get back to California next week."

"Quincy called a couple of people and he found you a great legal associate down there that will help you out if you want," Emma said.

"Oh, that'd be great," Ashton said.

"I'll send you the number right away then," Emma said.

"Thanks."

"Of course," Emma said. She looked down at her lap. "Ash…I'm really sorry."

"For what?" Ashton said, confused.

"I've been all excited about this pregnancy, and-and I haven't been hiding that excitement," Emma mumbled. "I've called you about it like, three times a week. And-And the whole time I was so happy, you-you were-"

"Aw Em, it's not like you did that on purpose," Ashton said. "You didn't know! Besides, I don't want you to have to downplay such a huge thing because of me. I want you to be happy about your new baby. And I'm so happy for you."

"Yeah, but-"

"Emma, seriously, I don't want you to feel sorry for me," Ashton said. "This whole things sucks, but it would suck even more if I kept my own sister from enjoying something that I know is one of the most magical moments of her life."

Emma opened her mouth but then quickly shut it and nodded.

"Besides, if Pete and I do get through the adoption process and get a baby, you'll be able to show us how to be parents," Ashton said.

"When you get through the adoption process," Emma corrected. "And you won't need my help. I can already tell you're gonna be a great mom."

"Thanks," Ashton grinned.

The two were silent for a moment before Emma finally held out her arms and hugged her sister.

"Emma! You're hugging me?" Ashton gasped. "You never hug me!"

"Yeah well…I'm hormonal," Emma mumbled, rolling her eyes as she pulled away. "Don't get used to it. Um…anyway, I should get back. We still on for brunch tomorrow?"

"Yup," Ashton nodded as Emma got to her feet. "See you then. And thanks for coming over."

"Anytime," Emma smiled.