Crawl
"I want that doctor's medical license yanked away right now!" Sam snapped as her and Freddie stormed into their apartment. "He doesn't know what the chiz he's talking about!"
"Sam…"
"High blood pressure, me?" Sam continued to fume. "I do not have high blood pressure!"
"Baby-"
"I knew I should've taken the butter sock!" Sam said angrily. "That's one of my family's oldest rules; always take a sock filled with hard butter when you're getting medical advice! Keeps the dumb doctor in line."
"Is that really a rule you guys have?" Freddie frowned.
"Or better yet, I shouldn't have listened to you and stayed away from the doctor in the first place!" Sam yelled. "I'm not sick; why the heck did you force me to go?"
"It's called a check-up, it's to make sure you don't get sick," Freddie sighed. "You're supposed to go once a year."
"Yeah, okay," Sam scoffed. "I haven't been to a doctor since I was puking my guts up fifteen years ago after you dared me to lick that swing set."
"For the millionth time, I did not dare you to lick the swing set!" Freddie said. "And Sam, it's important that you take care of yourself."
"I do take care of myself," Sam mumbled.
"Baby, listen, you know how much I love you, right?" Freddie said.
"Aw jeez, you're pulling this card?" Sam groaned, rolling her eyes.
"And I want you to be around with me for a long, long time," Freddie continued, ignoring her comment. "Which means you've got to keep yourself healthy."
"Dude…"
"And the doctor did say you were in fairly good health for a twenty-two year old, so that's great!" Freddie went on. "The only thing he said was that you have a chance of developing high blood pressure later on."
"Which is crazy!" Sam exclaimed.
"Sam, all the yelling right now isn't exactly helping your case," Freddie smirked. "Look, all the doctor said you have to do is cut down your caffeine consumption. That won't be too hard."
"What do you mean it won't be too hard?" Sam frowned. "Thanks to your lectures on 'responsibly', I had to go and get a real job! They expect me to be at work at eight in the morning! How can I manage that without espresso?"
"Gee, I don't know, maybe you can go to bed at a reasonable hour instead of staying up till three watching alien invasion movies on Getflix?"
"No way!"
"Sam, I-I really think cutting down on your caffeine will be good for you," Freddie said. "I mean you drink four cups of coffee a day. That's not good, you know."
"Oh what are you talking about? You drink a ton of the stuff too," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
"I drink one mug in the morning while I eat my breakfast!" Freddie defended. "I'd hardly say that I-"
"Oh you don't think I know how much coffee you really drink?" Sam said. "I see the Moonbucks receipts in your wallet. You're just as bad as me!"
"Well I-I-um…"
"You see!" Sam smirked. "You're just a hypocrite. Don't make me give up coffee when you can't do it yourself."
"Fine then, I'll give up coffee with you," Freddie said.
"Wait, what?" Sam blinked.
"You're right, it's not fair for me to convince you to give up coffee if I can't do it myself," Freddie said. "So I'll give up coffee with you."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously," Freddie nodded. He stepped over and pressed his lips to hers. "I love you. I won't make you do this alone. Besides, with the two of us doing this, it should be a little easier on both of us. We can encourage one another. So are you down?"
Sam let out a long breath. "Well, I can already tell this is gonna be one of those things that you don't leave me alone about until I agree, so I might as well save myself the headache now."
"Fantastic!" Freddie said brightly, kissing her again. "You'll see, Sam. This is gonna be a change that's really going to improve both of our lives."
…..
The next morning the alarm clock on Sam and Freddie's bedside table began blaring at exactly six-thirty in the morning.
"Ughh, for the love of ham, no," Sam moaned. "Turn that off, Fredwad, it's too early!"
"Sorry baby, we've got to get up," Freddie yawned, reaching over and shutting off the clock as he let out a long yawn. "Time for work."
He leaned down and kissed his girlfriend. "I'll go start the coffee and you-oh…"
He suddenly remembered the agreement him and Sam had made the previous morning.
"God, and I don't get coffee?" Sam groaned, slowly sitting up. "Why'd I let you talk me into this, Benson? I'm never going to survive the morning without the stuff."
"Sure you will!" Freddie said optimistically, though he was really craving the beverage right about now. "Come on, of course it's going to be a little tough at first, but we'll both get used to this in no time. Hey, I know. I can brew us up some decaf tea! My mom keeps bringing a ton of that stuff over."
"I'll take being groggy and tired," Sam muttered darkly.
"How about some pancakes then?" Freddie offered.
"You're gonna make pancakes?" Sam said skeptically.
"Er, well I'll microwave us up some frozen ones," Freddie corrected.
"Okay," Sam sighed. "Maybe if I have enough syrup I'll manage to wake up."
"That's the spirit," Freddie chuckled, getting out of bed.
He headed down to the kitchen, trying not to think about how tired her was. As he took out the frying pan, he glanced over at the coffee maker sitting on the counter.
"You don't need it," Freddie told himself firmly. "You're doing this for Sam. For Sam…You don't need it…"
He reluctantly looked away from the coffee maker and let out a soft sigh. Maybe this was going to be harder than he thought.
….
"Baby, my head feels like it's gonna explode," Sam mumbled later that afternoon as she sat in her and Cary's shared office.
"That's just the caffeine withdrawal," Freddie explained on the other end. "Once your body adjusts, I promise you'll feel better."
"How bad would just one cup be though?" Sam asked. "I mean think about it-"
"Sam, come on, you know if you have one cup, you're gonna want to have a second cup," Freddie said. "Come on, baby, you can do this!"
"Fine, fine," Sam conceded. "But just know the second I get home I'm ordering a pizza and going to bed."
"Whatever you want," Freddie said. "I'll talk to you later. Love you."
"Love you too," Sam said, hanging up her phone just as Carly walked back into the office, holding two coffee cups.
"Hey, sorry I've been out all morning, I was busy trying to convince Mr. Paulson to give us an extension on those scripts he wants by the end of the week," Carly said. "Bad news is, he didn't budge, so we'll have to stay late for the next few days to get everything done. But the good news is that the coffee cart downstairs is having a half-off sale today, so I got us extra-large lattes to give us fuel!"
"Dang it Carly, why'd you do that?" Sam snapped angrily.
"Um…my bad?" Carly frowned, confused.
"Sorry," Sam sighed. "Thanks for the coffee and all but I can't drink it."
"How come?" Carly asked.
"You know how Freddie got me to go get one of those check-ups yesterday?"
"Oh yeah, how'd that go?" Carly asked.
"Terrible!" Sam exclaimed. "The idiot doctor told me I needed to watch my blood pressure and that I should give up coffee! And my stupid boyfriend actually made me listen to him!"
"Whoa, Freddie convinced you to give up coffee?" Carly gasped. "And you actually listened? Wow, you really do love him."
"I know, it sucks," Sam muttered. "It's been almost a whole twenty-four hours since I've had any caffeine and I feel like I'm gonna die! My head hurts, I can barely keep my eyes open, I'm irritated-"
"So basically what I'm hearing is that I'm going to be the one doing most of the extra work here, right?" Carly said, rolling her eyes.
"Well you're the one who still gets to have coffee, so yeah!" Sam said angrily.
"Huh…you really are irritable," Carly commented, sitting down at her desk.
…..
Later that evening, Freddie dragged his feet into his and Sam's apartment, feeling absolutely defeated. He had no energy and it was all he could to do keep his eyes open. He had been completely unproductive at work and he knew he wouldn't get anything done at home either.
"Guess I really was addicted to caffeine," Freddie mumbled, collapsing onto the couch. "Man, how do people survive without this stuff?"
He glanced over at the clock. Sam had sent him a text saying she would be late, meaning she probably wouldn't be back for another few hours. He had more than enough time to brew himself up a cup of coffee and then quickly destroy the evidence.
"It's just one cup…" Freddie said slowly to himself. "And-And my blood pressure is fine. And-And with me and Sam both groggy and out of it, we're bound to crack soon. If I can just keep up my energy, I can make sure that Sam sticks to this, which is the most important thing…Yeah…"
He pulled himself up and went into the kitchen and opened up the container of ground coffee on the counter. He poured the water into the coffee maker and was just about to turn the device on, when he suddenly became aware of an unsettling feeling deep in his gut.
Guilt.
He let out a sigh. He couldn't do this to Sam. She was probably having an even harder time than he was giving up coffee, and to go and sneak around behind her back seemed like a betrayal.
"I promised her I'd go through this with her," Freddie said heavily to himself as he quickly emptied the coffee maker. "I'm not going to back out on Sam. I love her too much for that."
And so, with one last sound glance at the coffee maker, Freddie turned and headed back out of the kitchen.
…..
"Okay, we need to finish at least one more script before we can leave tonight," Carly said back at her and Sam's office. "How you holding up, Sam?"
"I can barely hold my head up," Sam muttered.
"I have a few packets of decaff tea in my purse," Carly offered.
"Ugh, you're just as bad as Fredwad's mom," Sam cringed. "That stuff tastes disgusting. Let's just hurry up and get through this last script so I can go home and go to bed. And don't be surprised if I'm late tomorrow morning."
"I never am," Carly chuckled. "Well, alright, just let me run to the bathroom and then we can get started."
"You just peed like, an hour ago!" Sam exclaimed. "Come on, Carls, you're dragging this out here!"
"Well I'm sorry, but I had to drink the coffee I got for you earlier, remember?" Carly pointed out. "My bladder can only handle so much!"
"Just hurry up," Sam sighed.
As Carly left the office, Sam threw her head back in her seat. It was only seven o'clock, but she felt beyond exhausted.
"I should've never let myself get talked into this," Sam said, shaking her head. "I should've told Freddie he was crazy if he thought I was going to give up my coffee."
She opened her drawer to find a fresh pen to start the edits when Carly returned. But as she was riffling around, she came across the half-finished jar of instant coffee that she kept in there.
"Oh, it's like you're taunting me, my sweet, delicious caffeine," Sam said, picking up the jar. "God, I miss you so much."
She looked over her shoulder. She probably had a few more minutes until Carly got back. If she hurried, she could fix herself a small cup of coffee and down it in no time. And if she chewed enough gum before she got home, Freddie would have no idea either!
I just need one cup to keep me from passing out, Sam thought to herself. One cup won't hurt.
She began to unscrew the top of the jar, but as she did, she suddenly heard her boyfriend's voice echoing in her head.
"I love you; I want you to be around with me for a long time."
"Ugh, stupid nub," Sam mumbled.
She knew she couldn't lie to Freddie about drinking coffee. He was only looking out for her. And on top of that, he had gone and given up coffee too, when he didn't even have to; just because he loved her.
And so with that, Sam reluctantly placed the jar of coffee back in her desk drawer, giving it one last longing look as she closed the drawer.
…
When Sam finally arrived back home, she walked into the apartment to find Freddie fast asleep on the couch. She rolled her eyes and stepped over to her boyfriend, licked her finger, and stuck it in his ear.
"Ah!" Freddie sputtered, his eyes flying open. "What the-Sam! I told you I hate it when you give me Wet Willies when I'm asleep!"
"Well I've gone a whole day with no coffee because of your annoying butt," Sam said, sitting down next to him. "You're lucky you didn't wake up to an atomic wedgie."
"How are you feeling?" Freddie asked, putting an arm around her.
"Terrible," Sam muttered, resting her head on her shoulder. "What about you?"
"I feel fine," Freddie said quickly.
Sam frowned and gave him a knowing look. "Dude…your eye is twitching."
"I-Fine, I'm having a lot of trouble giving up coffee," Freddie admitted. "This-This is a lot harder than I thought it would be."
"Yeah, no chiz," Sam nodded. "So why don't we just give up? If we're both miserable what are we doing this for?"
"We can't give up, Sam!" Freddie said. "Baby…the doctor said you really need to lower your blood pressure or you're going to get sick."
"Dude, I told you, the doctor was just being dramatic," Sam said. "I'm twenty-two. High blood pressure is something old people have to deal with."
"That's not true, Sam," Freddie said. "During my lunch break I looked up Hypertension and it can cause problems for people of all ages. It's a serious condition! Sam, I love you so much and I want us to spend our lives together. I want us to grow old together. I-I know it might sound like I'm being dramatic, but it's just-it's just…"
Sam looked down at her lap. "I want us to grow old together too. Really old…"
Freddie leaned down and kissed her. "Look, I can't tell you what to do. If you want to go back to drinking coffee, that's your choice, and I won't ever hold it against you."
Sam was silent for a few moments.
"I want to keep going," she finally said softly. She looked up at Freddie. "I want to give up coffee."
"You do?" Freddie smiled.
"Yeah, I guess…I guess I should start caring about my health a little more," Sam said heavily. "Course I'm not going to be giving up bacon or switching to organic foods anytime soon, but I think-I think I can handle giving up coffee."
"You can do it," Freddie said encouragingly. "Today was hard, I know, but it will get easier for us once we finally adjust."
"Baby, you don't have to give up coffee just because I have to," Sam said, giving him a small smile. "Your mom fed you enough health foods growing up to keep your blood pressure fine for the rest of your life."
"I want to," Freddie said. "Like I said before, Sam, you're not gonna go through this alone. I want to support you."
Sam smiled as she leaned up and kissed him again. "Well…alright then. I guess we're officially a coffee-free home."
"We should probably get rid of our coffee maker," Freddie commented.
"Man…I'll really miss that thing," Sam said, letting out a long yawn. "And we also need to figure out some other way to get energized. We're not gonna be one of those boring couples that goes to bed super early all the time, especially not when we're still super young."
"Actually, before I fell asleep here, I was looking up other methods of getting your body energized other than caffeine," Freddie said. "Kind of ironic, now that I think about it…But anyway, apparently there are special protein smoothies we can make, stretching rituals, certain fruits, and well, according to some new study, it says sex can actually wake a person up more than a cup of coffee."
"Seriously?" Sam grinned. "No way; we always wind up falling asleep after we have sex."
"Yeah, I know, but it says you've got to try a few new things," Freddie said. "There were diagrams I could've looked at, but, well, this is my work issued Pearphone, so…"
"I dunno, I still say there's no way," Sam smirked.
"Baby, this was a scientific study," Freddie chuckled. "You know, if you're so skeptical, we could go a test out the theory."
"Well as much as I hate science, this does seem like a fun experiment," Sam laughed. "But we're waiting until tomorrow morning. There's no way I have the energy to do anything right now besides fall asleep."
"Tomorrow morning it is, then," Freddie said. "We can set our alarm for fifteen minutes earlier."
"Mmm, make it twenty," Sam said.
"Wow, you're giving up an extra five minutes of sleep?" Freddie smirked.
"That's right," Sam nodded, her eyes sparkling. "So you better bring your A game, Benson."
…..
The next morning Sam walked into her and Carly's shared office feeling totally refreshed and energized.
"Morning," she said brightly to Carly as she sat down at her desk.
"Morning," Carly said, looking up from her computer. "Hey, you're on time! I thought for sure you'd be at least a half-hour late without your morning coffee to get you going. Wait…you didn't already give up on that, did you?"
"Nope," Sam said. "I'm still coffee-free."
"Well then how the heck are you so awake?" Carly frowned. "In fact…you're more awake right now than you are with coffee."
"Let's just say Freddie and I found a new wake-up method that I think will work perfectly for us," Sam said happily.
"Um…what?" Carly said, confused. "Okay, do I even want to know?"
"No you do not," Sam smiled, leaning back in her chair.
