Park

"Spence, come on! Drive faster!" Sam groaned from her seat in Socko's RV, which Spencer was currently maneuvering along the busy highway.

"I'm going seventy miles an hour!" Spencer defended. "The speed limit's only sixty-five. I'm already going fast!"

"We have to get there within the next two hours if we want to get a decent parking spot," Sam said. "Otherwise we're gonna have to park this thing miles away from the festival. According to my GPS, we're two-hundred and thirty-eight miles away. If you keep up at this snailish pace, we won't get there for another…three hours and twenty-four minutes!"

"Whoa…" Carly said as Freddie's mouth fell open.

"Did you just do math?" Freddie frowned. "Willingly?"

"Yes," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Is that a problem?"

"It's just I spent six hours with you last week trying to get you to open your math book," Freddie chuckled.

"Well this is important!" Sam pointed out. "If Spencer doesn't step on it, we're gonna have to walk two miles to get to the meat festival!"

"I'm driving as fast as I can, Sam!" Spencer said. "You know you three teens have your drivers licenses, why don't any of you ever drive now?"

"Fine," Sam said, getting up. "Pull over and I'll take the wheel."

"No!" Carly and Freddie both yelled at once.

"Sam, just relax," Freddie said, gently pulling his girlfriend back down to her seat next to him. "We'll get to the meat festival."

"I thought the thing didn't start until tomorrow anyway," Carly pointed out. "Why are you so eager to get there early?"

"Because, the official meat festival may not start until tomorrow, but tonight all the vendors start setting up and they always give away a ton of free samples," Sam said. "I wore my stretchy pants just for the occasion! Last year when me and my mom went, I ate thirty-six bacon-wrapped corndogs the first night."

"Bacon-wrapped corn dogs?" Freddie cringed.

"They're delicious," Sam said. She leaned over and gave Freddie a quick kiss. "Aren't you excited, baby? This is your first time at this thing!"

"I'm excited about getting to spend the weekend doing something you love," Freddie smiled, kissing her back. "I was looking online the other night and I saw that the actual festival tomorrow has a lot of cool games. I'm gonna win you a stuffed Hammy the Ham."

"Aw!" Sam grinned. "That's so sweet. But you realize those games take skill, right?"

"Ha, ha," Freddie said, pulling Sam closer to him. "You know, if you weren't so cute when you were sassy, I'd-"

"You two do still realize I'm here, right?" Carly said, rolling her eyes.

"So am I!" Spencer called from the front seat. "Keep it PG back there!"

"Too late for that…" Sam muttered to Freddie, the two exchanging mischievous grins.

"I don't even want to know," Carly gagged, shaking her head.

"Fine, fine, we'll keep the affection to a minimum the rest of the trip," Freddie promised.

"Maybe," Sam shrugged. "Anyway, kid, you excited? You've never been to the meat festival either."

"Yeah, I'm sure it will be fun," Carly said. "I don't know if my stomach can handle bacon-wrapped corndogs though. Don't they sell, I dunno, smoothies or salads there?"

"They sell pork shakes," Sam said.

"Um…"

"But hey, you'll definitely have a good time," Sam promised her best friend. "This place is always crawling with super hot guys."

"Oh, really?" Carly said, perking up.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "There's this one dude that has a cheesesteak cart, his name is Fabio, and he's gorgeous. I used to hang around that cart for hours...And since Fredly here will get all annoying if I do that this year, Fabio is all yours."

"Yay!" Carly said happily.

"There's lots of weird, desperate chicks for you too, Spence," Sam added.

"Yes!" Spencer cheered.

"Although they might be all taken if you don't hurry up and get moving…" Sam continued. "So maybe you should-"

"Hold on, everybody!" Spencer said, stepping on the gas pedal.

"I'm going to smell like a meat locker for a week," Carly said later that evening as the three teens walked around the outskirts of the meat festival, where arriving vendors were giving away plenty of samples.

"I know, isn't it the greatest?" Sam grinned, finishing up her deep-fried burger-dog, a combination of a hot dog and a hamburger.

"Please tell me there are medical teams standing by around here," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "There's no way any of this food is healthy for anybody."

"I've been eating this food for years and I'm fine," Sam pointed out.

"Yes, but we've already established that you've got abnormal stomach abilities," Carly chuckled.

"Oh, we've got to get some of those steak sandwiches!" Sam said, pointed to a cart a few yards away.

"Hey, those don't sound too deadly," Freddie said. "What, they're just sandwiches with steak in them?"

"Basically," Sam nodded.

"What's basically mean?" Carly asked skeptically.

"Well, steak is the sandwich's filling," Sam explained. "But they also use two nine-ounce steaks in the place of the bead. They're really good! I had four last year; I'm hoping to go for a new record."

"I think I'll pass," Freddie said. "I'm still really stuffed from that chili dog I had."

"You had one," Sam scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"Plus some of the jerky fries you forced me to try," Freddie added.

"Ugh, you have such a prissy stomach," Sam said, shaking her head. She leaned up and gave him a quick peck on his lips. "I've clearly failed you as a girlfriend."

"Nah," Freddie grinned. "You definitely have not."

"Okay…before this turns into a full-blown make-out session," Carly said quickly. "Sam, I was promised a cute cheesesteak guy named Fabio. Where is he?"

"Um…oh! Right over there," Sam said, scanning around and pointing to a cart across the lot. "The dude with the great hair and green shirt."

"Whoa! He is hot!" Carly said, her eyes widening.

"Told you," Sam grinned.

"Alright, well I'll see you guys later," Carly said, fluffing her hair quickly.

"So," Sam said as Carly ran off. "What should we do now?"

"Well…" Freddie said slowly. "Carly's gonna be busy for awhile, and Spencer's in an hour-long line for Canadian bacon, which means there's an empty RV just a few steps away from here. Maybe we can go and…you know…"

"Oh!" Sam said, clearly not hearing a word her boyfriend was saying. "The bacon grease guy just got here! He literally just sells jugs of fancy bacon grease! I've been waiting all year for this! Let's move, Fredpus!"

"Of course," Freddie sighed sadly as Sam pulled him off.

….

"People! Let's move!" Sam yelled early the next morning at seven. "The gates of the meat festival officially open in one hour!"

"Sam, the sun's not even out yet," Carly moaned from her spot on the small RV couch.

"So? We've got to get moving," Sam said. "I know you're gonna take forever to get ready, and Spencer has that weird shampooing routine, so you need all the prep time you can get."

"My shampooing routine isn't weird," Spencer yawned from the driver's seat, where he had slept. "I've got to make sure I lather, rinse, and repeat the proper amount of times so I can-"

"Just shut up and get in the shower," Sam snapped.

"Where's Freddie?" Carly asked, slowly sitting up.

Sam frowned and looked over at Freddie's sleeping bag, noticing that he was missing from it.

"Huh…dunno. Maybe he-"

Just then the bathroom door opened and Freddie stumbled out, looking absolutely miserable.

"Whoa, you don't look good," Carly commented.

"I don't feel good either," Freddie mumbled, sitting down next Sam.

"Because of these cramped sleeping arrangements?" Sam nodded. "I know. But don't worry; the smell of breakfast meats will make you feel better once we get to the festival!"

"It wasn't the sleeping arrangements," Freddie mumbled. "My stomach feels like it's on fire. I've just spent the past thirty minutes puking my guts out."

"Ew!" Spencer cringed. "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't do it by choice!" Freddie snapped. "I got food poisoning from the chili dog I ate yesterday!"

"Are you sure?" Carly asked.

"My mom made me memorize the symptoms of food poisoning when I was five," Freddie moaned, still clutching his stomach. "Trust me. I have it."

"Aw, baby," Sam said gently, putting an arm around him. "You really do have a weak stomach."

"Sam…" Carly said, rolling her eyes.

"Do you think you're going to be able to make it to the festival?" Spencer asked.

"I don't think so," Freddie muttered. "I can barely walk. Plus, you know, the vomiting and everything…"

"You should rest," Carly nodded.

"I'm really sorry, Sam," Freddie sighed. "I was supposed to win you that stuffed ham…"

"Dude, it's okay," Sam said gently.

"Well, you guys should probably start heading up to the festival," Freddie said. "You'll want to beat the crowd."

"Shouldn't somebody stay with you?" Carly asked.

"No, I don't want you guys to miss out just because of me," Freddie said. "Seriously, go on."

Sam bit the corner of her lip. "No…I-I'm gonna stay with you."

Carly and Spencer both gave her surprised looks.

"What? No way," Freddie said at once. "I'm not making you, of all people, miss the meat festival. You've been so excited about coming here for months!"

"I-I know," Sam nodded. "But…I-I'm gonna stay with you instead, okay?"

"Sam, I-"

"You're not gonna change my mind," Sam said firmly, crossing her arms.

"You're really going to miss the meat festival to take care of Freddie?" Spencer asked.

Sam shrugged. "I've been to plenty of these…plus I'll be here again next year…missing one year won't kill me. Just…Just bring me back some meat, okay?"

"Uh, sure," Carly nodded, still shocked.

"Sam, you don't have to do this," Freddie told her.

"No, I don't," Sam said softly, giving him a small smile. "But I want to."

"So basically this show is just nine seasons of watching a bunch of people do random things at some lame work place?" Sam frowned later that afternoon as her and Freddie sat together on the small couch, her laptop resting on both their laps. "That's kind of boring…"

"I know," Freddie nodded. "But it's still so funny…"

"So funny," Sam agreed. "Want any more ginger ale?"

Freddie shook his head.

"Well are you feeling any better?" she asked.

"I guess," Freddie nodded. "I haven't puked in twenty minutes, so that's probably a good sign."
"Probably," Sam chuckled. She kissed his temple, causing Freddie to smile over at her.

"Thanks for taking care of me," he said, squeezing her hand.

"Yeah, well…kind of goes with the girlfriend title," Sam said.

"I really can't believe you missed the meat festival just to stay with me," Freddie continued. "That really means a lot to me, Sam. I-I know you love meat, especially disgusting, deep-fried variations of it."

"I know, I do," Sam nodded. "But, and I'll kill you if you ever repeat this, I'll always love you more than any kind of meat."

"Even bacon-stuffed fried chicken?" Freddie grinned.

"Even more than bacon-stuffed fried chicken dunked in barbecue sauce," Sam nodded.

"Whoa," Freddie said, his eyes widening.

"I know," Sam smiled. "You've really grown on me, Benson."