Dentist
"Good morning, baby!" Freddie said brightly, prodding his sleeping wife's shoulder. "Rise and shine! Time to-ow!"
Sam had swung her fist at him, causing him to stagger into the bedside table next to him.
"Why," Sam said, not even opening her eyes. "Are you talking to me at this ungodly hour?"
"Sam, it's eight o'clock," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "You've been up much earlier than this dealing with the kids."
"It's summer, I don't have to take any of them to school," Sam mumbled. "And unless I'm very much mistaken, I don't have an infant that needs to be taken care of. I just have an annoying husband who-"
"Ha, ha," Freddie said. "Come on, you promised me yesterday, remember? You said you'd wake up and do yoga with me!"
"Oh God…" Sam moaned, slowly sitting up. "You were serious?"
"Yes!" Freddie nodded. "Yoga is a great way to improve your health. It increases blood flow, improves flexibility, puts you in a good mood…the benefits are endless!"
"Why on earth do you want to do yoga all of the sudden?" Sam yawned.
"Because," Freddie said. "I'm turning forty next month, and I'm not going to let myself turn into a lazy old blob who can't even touch his toes anymore."
"You haven't been able to touch your toes in years," Sam pointed out.
"Yes, well…now's the perfect time to learn!" Freddie said. "Come on, I even got us yoga mats and everything! I bought four extra for the kids, too. I'm gonna ask them if they want to join us. We can start a new family tradition!"
"The kids are sleeping," Sam said, slowly getting out of bed.
"Well I'll just go nicely wake them up," Freddie shrugged.
"Yeah, let me know how that goes," Sam scoffed as Freddie turned and headed out of the bedroom.
Sam had just begun pulling on a pair of leggings when Freddie returned to the room, massaging his ears.
"So, the kids super pumped to wake up early to do yoga with their parents?" Sam asked.
"Emma's got quite a mouth on her," Freddie muttered darkly. "Her, Ashton and Jason are all out, but Tyler wasn't in his room, so he's up at least. I bet he'll want to join us. You ready?"
"Let's get this over with," Sam sighed as Freddie grabbed the yoga mats from the closet. The couple headed down to the kitchen where Tyler was sitting by himself, enjoying a large bowl of sugary cereal.
"Morning, Ty!" Freddie said happily. "Glad to see someone in this house doesn't want to sleep his whole summer away."
"I have to get an early start," the eight-year old said.
"That's the spirit!" Freddie said. "You have big plans today?"
"Totally," Tyler nodded. "I'm playing videogames for twelve hours straight!"
"That's great to-what? No!" Freddie frowned. "You're not playing videogames the entire day! You'll rot your brain."
"Fine, we'll compromise on thirteen," Tyler shrugged.
"Not sure you know what compromise means," Sam chuckled. "But you can play your videogames for two hours during the day and maybe if you're good, we'll give you an extra hour tonight."
"Man!" Tyler moaned. "Then I'm going back to bed."
"Wait, hold on," Freddie said. "Your mom and I were just going to invite you to do yoga with us!"
"What'd I do?" Tyler asked. "How come you're punishing me?"
"Nobody's punishing you," Freddie said. "It will be fun! Your lame siblings skipped out on this awesome opportunity, but I bet you won't make that mistake, will you?"
Tyler looked at Sam. "Do I have to, mom?"
"No," Sam said. "Go back to bed if you want, sweetie."
"Sam!" Freddie exclaimed. "I almost had him!"
"You did not," Sam said. "You can't force the kids to do yoga. I don't even know why I'm letting you talk me into this."
"Because I'm your husband and you love me?" Freddie suggested.
"No, that can't be it…"
"Cute," Freddie said, shaking his head. "Well, let's get started. We'll set up the mats in the living room; there's a lot of empty space in there."
They headed into the living room and rolled out their yoga mats.
"I downloaded an app that's going to be our yoga guide," Freddie said, grabbing his Pearpad and setting it up in front of them.
"Fantastic," Sam yawned. "Seriously, hurry up, though. If we finish this quickly enough I can get back to bed for another few hours."
"You don't rush yoga," Freddie said. "Besides, you'll feel so energized at the end of this that you won't even want to go back to sleep."
"Oh would you like to bet?"
"Alright, the first move we're supposed to do is called child's pose," Freddie read off the app. "You lower yourself onto your knees and lie down, stretching your arms and torso out in front of you. We stay there for about five minutes and just prepare our bodies."
"Fine," Sam said, immediately getting down and easily getting into the position. "At least I get to lay down."
Freddie got down onto his knees and then tried to lay down like Sam, but had a bit more difficulty.
"Hmm, this feels kind of tight," Freddie frowned. "And it's kind of hard on the knees…Oh well, I'm sure after awhile your body gets used to this. Oh! Make sure you're breathing, baby."
"Thanks, I usually forget that unless someone reminds me," Sam said.
"Sarcasm has no place on the yoga mat," Freddie said, still trying to position himself. "Um…okay, next move!"
"That wasn't five minutes," Sam pointed out.
"I-Well time flies when you're having fun," Freddie said lamely.
"But-"
"So now we're supposed to rise into downward dog," Freddie said, looking at the app. "That one doesn't look too bad. Just prop yourself up on your hands and feet and curve your back."
Sam shifted easily into that position. "Huh…you know, this does feel sort of nice. I'd still rather be sleeping, but…"
"I'm telling you, Sam, you're gonna thank me for this," Freddie said. "Now…I guess I just keep my hands here, put my feet back here and…ah!"
"You alright?" Sam asked her husband, looking over at her husband, who was struggling to get into the position.
"Yeah," Freddie grunted, trying to balance himself. "I guess I'm just not as flexible as you…yet."
"Well…maybe there's an easier level we can start at," Sam suggested. "Let me see that app and-"
"No!" Freddie said. "It's-It's already at the novice level."
"Yeah, but maybe there's like a-"
"Next position!" Freddie said. "Let's see…Okay, you stay in downward dog but you put your right leg all the way in the air and then swing it down in between your hands…"
"Okay, baby, maybe it's best if you skip this one," Sam said. "It seems a little tricky and I don't want you to hurt yourself."
"I'm not gonna hurt myself," Freddie said. "The point of yoga is to build you up so you don't get hurt."
Sam knew that there was no arguing with him at this point. She put her foot up in the air and easily swung it back down in between her hands, going into a sort of lunge. She glanced back over at Freddie who took a deep breath and then tried to mirror her. He was unsuccessful, though, and the second he raised his leg up, he let out a yell and crumpled down onto his mat.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked, moving over to him at once.
"I-No!" Freddie winced. "My back! I-I threw out my back! Oh my God, this hurts so much!"
"Aw, baby," Sam sighed. "I-Come on. We're done with yoga. I'm taking you to the doctor's. Now."
She carefully helped Freddie to his feet, grabbed her car keys and led him out to the car.
"This was supposed to be relaxing," Freddie mumbled.
"Yeah, well," Sam said. "Irony."
…
"Well, you heard the doctor," Sam said a few hours later, as her and Jason helped Freddie into bed. "No moving for two days. Lucky you…"
"See, this is what happens when you wake up early to exercise," Jason said.
"Thank you, Jason," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.
"You need anything?" Sam asked as Jason left the bedroom.
"No," Freddie mumbled.
"Aw cheer up," Sam said. "For the next forty-eight hours I have to wait on you hand and foot. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, you know."
Freddie didn't reply.
"Look," Sam said, sitting down next to him. "I know what you're thinking, but-"
"I'm old, Sam!" Freddie blurted out. "I just pulled out my back doing yoga, an exercise that's supposed to be calm and relaxing."
"The doctor said plenty of people get hurt during yoga," Sam pointed out.
"Not young, fit people," Freddie said, shaking his head. "I just…I just wanted to feel young again, Sam."
"Baby, you're plenty young," Sam said. "Forty isn't that old."
"Sure," Freddie scoffed.
"I'm serious," Sam said. "And you know what? Being able to do yoga all of the sudden isn't going to make you any younger. Besides, I'm pretty sure you would've hurt yourself doing that even if you were twenty."
"Gee, how supportive," Freddie said, his voice dripping in sarcasm.
"Okay," Sam said. "You said you just wanted to feel young again, right?"
"I mean ideally I'd like to be young again too," Freddie sighed. "But unfortunately time travel hasn't gotten there yet."
"Right," Sam said, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Well I'm sure there's plenty of stuff you can do that will make you feel young that won't break your back. Um…what about fencing? You're really good at that, but it's been years since you've been to the gym. Why don't you get back into that?"
"I-I guess I could do that," Freddie said thoughtfully. "Maybe I can take Tyler with me…he's into sports."
"See? I'd bet you feel all young and fit after a few rounds of fencing with your son," Sam smiled. "And it'd probably be less painful too."
"I bet," Freddie chuckled.
Sam leaned over and kissed his cheek.
"I'm sorry I forced you to wake up early to do yoga with me this morning, baby," Freddie said. "And I'm sorry I'm stuck in bed for the next two days."
"Yeah, well, you better be able to move again soon," Sam said, kissing him again. "And then I can show you another way you can feel young again."
