Chapter 12: Back To Work (early Feb 2017)
By early February, Ron and Hugo had settled into a new routine. Hugo had adapted well back at school. Just having the faces he was used to seeing each day back in his life seemed to give him a boost somehow. He still had nightmares regularly, but they were improving. He had moved back into his own room. Ron had moved his mattress into Hugo's room for a while, but they eventually decided to have Ron be in the guest room and keep the doors open so he could hear Hugo if he had a nightmare.
The first day Hugo was back at school, Ron mustered up the courage to go into the auror department to face the office he and Fi had shared since 2003. For a decade and a half he had spent fifty or sixty hours a week with this woman. She had reminded him a lot of Tonks when he first met her. She was young, feisty and full of this uncontrolled zest for life. She poured the anger at losing her parents into her work, and was thoroughly dedicated to hunting down dark wizards. Ron had been hesitant at the thought of partnering with anyone but Harry. But he and Fi had hit it off immediately. They balanced each other out. He was always thinking five moves ahead, while she lived much more in the present. He could come up with a complex strategy. She could implement it.
Harry had ensured that the office was left alone so Ron could face it himself. He hadn't actually been in since before Christmas when he'd been injured, and it felt strange coming back in. For as long as he could remember, his whole identity had been as an auror. He'd embraced the rigorous life of training and committing to the job no matter what the hour. He'd developed a reputation as the one to go to on complex cases. He and Fi could track down any crook and crack any case. And they'd had a wonderful time doing it. But, now it felt somewhat like visiting the Gryffindor common room – like it was an important place, but that it was a room from his past, not his present.
Instead of feeling relieved to be back in his familiar surroundings, he kept thinking of Hugo and wondering how he was managing at school. And he thought of Hermione, who he knew was also worrying about Hugo. He decided to text her to reassure them both. "I'm thinking of him too. I'll let you know how he did as soon as I pick him up." She replied instantly. "Thanks. I was just thinking of you both. I am sure today is tough in ways you didn't expect. Hang in there. We'll catch up tonight." He felt instantly calm. He wasn't quite sure how Hermione did that, but she did.
He turned his attention to his desk first. His heart ached as he saw Fi had left him a "Welcome Back" card on his desk. It read
You always beat me into the office, so I had to do this Friday night to one-up you. Welcome back! Once again, I owe you everything. But at this point my tally is so large, maybe you just give me a clean slate?
But your real surprise I will give you in person. I have been very bad at being on part time desk duty these past few weeks. Instead, I've worked through the contacts in Surry, and you are NOT GOING TO BELIEVE what I found out. We can finally crack the potions case – and I think it goes much deeper, or in the case higher up - than we ever imagined. Get your tea now. I can't have you cranky on your first day back. And you need to be quite awake to tell me how brilliant my detective work has been while you were out. See you soon! Love, Fi
Ron bent over and sobbed. He had already cast silencing and privacy charms on the office. So he let himself finally cry and mourn Fi like he hadn't been able to when he was being strong for Hugo. He loved Fi like a sister, and in many ways it was as painful as losing Fred all over again. But this time he didn't have to keep George afloat. He had to raise Hugo.
Eventually he cried himself out of tears and tried to clean himself up as best he could. He moved over to Fi's desk and decided to sort things into piles of trash, work stuff and personal things. The trash was easy to go through. Fi had a sweet tooth, and one drawer of her desk was jammed full of sweet wrappers and bags of half eaten crisps. That was easy to clean out. Then there was a drawer of files, which he basically left as is. He decided to leave a picture of Fi with Dennis and Hugo up on the shelf. They were at a farm somewhere, and Hugo was trying to catch a chicken while Dennis and Fi laughed and smiled. Hugo couldn't have been more than 5 in the picture. There were some cards from Dennis and pictures that Hugo had drawn for his mummy over the years. He stacked those up to keep for Hugo later. Then there were basic supplies – extra trainers, some lipstick, tampons, a hair brush and hair ties. He bagged all of that up and thought he'd throw out everything except the trainers. The office wall had a couple of different pictures of Ron and Fi that didn't really belong to either of them, he supposed. He thought he'd leave those for now.
He was slightly surprised to hear a knock at the door. "Ron, it's Harry. May I come in?"
He flicked his wand at the door to open it, and Harry came in holding a bag of sandwiches. "Thought you'd probably forgotten the time. It's after 1 so I brought lunch."
"Wow. It's that late already?"
"Yeah. Here – roast beef today."
"Thanks."
"How is it going?"
"Oh, about as you would think, I suppose. She had left me a welcome back card before she left work that Friday. See?"
"Oh, Ron. I'm sorry."
"Well, it definitely knocked me over this morning. But, I guess it got a lot out that I needed to get out."
Harry just stayed quiet and let him talk.
"Fourteen years. We were partners for fourteen fucking years. I knew what she would do before she did it. And she knew me just as well. And now she's just gone. And her son will never know what a fucking amazing mum he had. I mean I will try to tell him. But, fuck, Harry. He'll never know. And now I'm here sorting her stuff and throwing out her damn sweet wrappers. And I keep expecting her to tell me off for messing with her stuff. And I know that Hugo is living a much worse hell than I am, so how the fuck is he even upright? He's 8! And he is already back at school. And I can't even make it through his mum's fucking sweet drawer," he yelled.
When Harry was sure Ron was done, he sighed. "You haven't asked Hugo to clean out his parents' drawers or anything. You need to cut yourself some slack, Ron. There was no way this wasn't going to be awful. But you had to get through today to get to the next step. And I would bet you 100 galleons you haven't had a full night's sleep since the accident."
Ron just looked down.
"And then there's this cryptic note, you know? What had she figured out about the case?"
"I have no idea."
"I don't know if I want to be an auror anymore."
"Don't you think it's a bit soon to be making that kind of decision?"
"Hugo is afraid I will get killed and leave him too."
"Oh."
"And I told him I would try to figure something out. I'm telling you as my friend, not my boss. I just don't know what I want to do."
"And as your friend, I'm telling you there is no rush."
"I kind of want to finish this last case."
"Well, that's ok. Seems like a good way to put some closure to it – to finish Fi's last case. And then take time off and figure out what you want. If you want to stay in the department, we could move you to a strategy based job instead of a field job. Or you could teach at the academy. And you know George has been trying to get you to join him for as long as you've been here."
"I know. I just don't know what I want to do. Or what I can do. I've started to figure out that Fi missed out on a lot of Hugo's life because she was working. That worked for them because Dennis – well, Dennis and Hermione were there for him. But, I can't ask Hermione to do that. And I can't ask that of Hugo either. But, you know – being an auror is all I've done. It's who I was. But I don't know that it's who I am anymore."
"So don't decide now. I think working on this last case is a good call. While I should tell you that you have to work with someone, I know that's crap. But, will you promise me that if you find yourself going somewhere where you know you need backup for Hugo's sake you will let me come with you?"
"Yeah. I promise."
"Ok then. So – just let me know what you need."
"I will."
"Wanna talk about Hermione yet?" Harry said with a cracked smile.
"Well since I can't seem to make it through a day without crying, it seems a lovely time to talk about the muggle woman I fantasized about for years and now spend more time with than any other adult but could never ever ask out because we are suddenly this weird pseudo family and who doesn't know I'm a wizard- let alone a famous one. Talk about a fucked up situation."
"You like her, don't you?"
"You know I do. But, she's a muggle. And it's not like I can take her to the Leakey. We are each other's babysitters! And if it didn't work out it would screw up the little bit of family stability Hugo – and Rose for that matter – has left. She's brilliant, though. You know what she said about McGonagall after the funeral?"
"What?"
"That she reminded her of a cat who stalks her prey!"
The two old friends laughed so hard that both had tears falling.
"Oh, and Hugo and Rose drew these placemats with everyone's favorite things on them. Mine was covered with brooms and iPhones, so now Hermione thinks I am some kind of housekeeping fanatic."
Harry was laughing so hard now he fell out of his chair. "Your mum would love that."
"Right?! Fi would love it too. I know she is fucking laughing at me right now. This is how absurd my life is right now. It is so fucking ridiculous that all I can do is laugh or cry."
"As long as you keep laughing then you're doing alright. How long until you get Hugo?"
"I pick him up at 330. But, I want to take some of this stuff back by the house and get it put away before then, so I should get going soon. I'll pop back tomorrow assuming he's done ok at school. I will get my brain around this case again and try to figure out who Fi would have talked to."
"If anyone can figure out what she was thinking, it is definitely you."
"Thanks, Harry."
"When do you think Hugo might be ready to meet some of the extended family? Want to come over for dinner some night?"
"That could be good. He's met your kids before, though, right?"
"Just in passing I think. But, we'll figure out a night for dinner. I'd say bring Hermione and Rose, but I know you'd roll your eyes at me."
"I want to, but what do I do? I've never figured out how people date muggles."
"One thing at a time. You and Hugo come to dinner. Let's start there."
"Right. Will do. Thanks for lunch."
(Author's Note: I promise the next chapter - which turns out to be lucky number 13 - is a HUGE one. Stay tuned!)
