Chapter 23: Tuesday Lunch Date
By the time Tuesday had rolled around, Ron could not wait to see Hermione. It had only been a few days, but it was just about the longest they had gone without seeing each other since Fi had died. He had apparated to a spot around the corner from the place she had said to meet. Uncharacteristically, he was early so he stood outside the place and waited for her.
Hermione couldn't figure out why she was nervous about seeing Ron. They had admitted their feelings for each other, kissed and even slept all night together. But then he'd left before she woke up, she didn't go to The Burrow that afternoon and they hadn't seen each other since. And she knew that in her own head she had freaked herself out and figured out 100 reasons why this was a bad idea. For a decade it had been just she and Rose. There had been a handful of bad first dates thrown in, but nothing more than that. Her family and friends kept telling her she should "get out there," but she could never even get her head around the idea. She loved her life with Rose. It wasn't that there weren't aspects of romance that she missed. A lot if she was honest. But, she couldn't picture how she could ever fit a man into their family dynamic. And as the years went by she figured that anyone she would meet would probably be divorced with children, and she wasn't sure she was up for adding all of those dynamics, and probably drama with an ex-wife, to her life either. But then the last few months happened. And now she had no idea what she was doing. She hurried down the sidewalk, cursing her boss for the meeting that had run over that morning making her run late. For years she had been in control. She had everything organized. She was a good mum, a good solicitor and a good daughter. But now as she rushed down the sidewalk she felt that everything was no longer in her control. She didn't know how to be a good witch, or a good mum to a young witch. She didn't know how to date as a single mum. And she really didn't know how to date a wizard. She didn't know how to be whatever it was she needed to be for Hugo. And her work was now at the bottom of a very long list. But then she came around the corner and saw him leaning against the wall of the fish and chip shop, and she couldn't help but smile.
"I am so sorry I'm late," she apologized as she hurried towards him.
"Hey," he said, a lopsided smile breaking out across his face. "Good to see you." She hugged him and gave him a quick peck on the lips.
"Do you come hear often?" he asked nodding to the chip shop.
"Probably more than I should," she admitted. "It's really good."
"It's nice out. Would you want get it as take away and walk over to the park a bit?"
"Sounds great," she agreed.
Soon they had found a bench in the park and sat to enjoy their lunches. Hermione kept admonishing herself for her nerves. It's like I'm 17 or something she cursed in her head.
"Are you alright?" Ron asked. "You seem, I don't know. You seem wired or something. Is there anything I can help with?"
Hermione sighed and put down her food. "I'm sorry, Ron. It's totally me." He gave her a confused look.
"I'm, well – honestly?" she looked him in the eye and sighed. "Honestly I am freaking myself out."
"I don't understand, Hermione," Ron said, feeling panic building in his chest.
"I think you know me well enough to know that I like things planned out and orderly, right? But suddenly my entire life is upside down. And, I know yours is too, but it's different somehow. For a decade it has been just Rose and me. And I made myself all of these promises about how I would behave or act if I ever really met someone worth bringing home to meet her. But, with you none of those rules fit and I don't know how to behave. Like the other night? I woke up in your arms on the couch and I did not want you to leave. But, when I woke up in the morning I kept second guessing that. Should I have let us all sleep on the couch that night? I don't know. I don't know what the right answer is. Because I know you are amazing for me. And I know you are amazing for Rose, not to mention for Hugo. But I don't know how to date as a mum. And I sure as hell don't know how to date as a witch and I…"
Ron final reached his hand up to touch her face to try and snap her out of her verbal melt down. The feel of his fingers on her cheek did cause her to pause, so he took advantage of the moment.
"Hermione, it's ok. Really." She just looked at him, and he wondered if she was going to burst into tears. "I don't know how to do any of this either. And I apologize about the other night. I wasn't thinking about the big picture."
"No – I asked you to stay. I wanted you to stay. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Hey – there is nothing wrong with you, Hermione. There isn't exactly a playbook for the situation we're in right now. But, I want you to know – I am mad about you. Really and truly mad."
"Me too," she said quietly. "Which just makes me feel stupider about all of this."
"You are a lot of things, Hermione, but I promise stupid isn't one of them. It's a lot. But, we just need to hold on to the things we are certain about. And the rest I have to trust will fall into place."
"I'm certain about Rose and about Hugo. And I am certain about you, Ron. I am. I want you to know that." She reached up and kissed him tenderly. The anxiety he'd felt building in him melted as she ran her tongue gently across the roof of his mouth. He kissed her back, moving his arm around her waist to hold her closer to him. As they finished the kiss, he leaned back and they both smiled.
"Maybe it's just that we're doing everything backwards," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, most people go out on dates and then get married and then have kids. But, we're juggling child care and the kids' schedules and dinners and working full time, and basically you are going back to school trying to learn magic in your free time and somewhere in there we are trying to have some semblance of a dating relationship."
"Exactly!" she said.
"But we can't try to force things the other way, I think. We can't pretend we are 22, going out a few times a week and getting to know each other. Because we're just not. Whatever we are going to be, it has to exist as a part of the wonderful, crazy, mixed up other stuff too. Because that is who we are, you know?"
She looked at him thoughtfully. "You're right. The kids, the chaos, the work, the magic – it all makes us who we are. So how do I reconcile this ridiculous 22 year old girl in my head who wants to be swept off her feet by you with the middle aged mum in my head who wants to keep everything safe and orderly for Rose and Hugo?"
"I want it safe for them too, you know."
"I know," she conceded.
"If we hadn't stayed the night on Saturday do you think you would still be nervous about all of this?"
"I am a pretty type-A person, Ron, so odds are I would be nervous no matter what. But, I think what got me worked up about Saturday was realizing that I did something I never thought I would do. I compromised this made-up rule in my head about not bringing someone into Rose's life because I wanted to stay in your arms."
They sat quietly for a few minutes just holding hands. Finally he said, "Hermione, I know this is way too fast. But, I am in this for the long haul. I want to be in your life for as long as you will let me. But, I want to be in Rose's life too. What role I am in her life is up to you, and frankly up to her. But, I am not going anywhere. You are Hugo's family. Hugo is my family. And that makes us whatever we are, no matter what. I think what we need is some more time for the two of us and some more time for the four of us, so that every minute we're together doesn't have to be so intense. We need to be able to just relax, eat reheated casseroles, practice magic, play cards with the kids, and" he said with a bit of a smirk, "maybe even snog."
This last comment made her laugh. "Maybe that is what we need. But I have no idea how to make that happen."
"Let me work on it. I'll come up with something. I have no idea what, but I'll figure something out. In the meantime, let's just work on the other stuff. Well, and maybe keep meeting for lunches every now and then."
"Ok. So, you're saying I should take that off my list of things to worry about?"
"Probably shouldn't have been on a worry list anyway, huh? But you wouldn't be you without a worry list," he teased. Then his voice turned more serious, "and we need more time for us. Not just for snogging, but just for getting to know each other's history more, you know? I, well, I still have some things I need to tell you about my past. But, some of those are long stories, and not exactly appropriate for little ears. But they are things I need you to know if we are going to build a real relationship, which I really hope we are."
She sensed there was a lot more he wasn't saying. But she could also tell he was sharing more than he had probably shared with anyone before. So, she reached up and touched his face gently.
"We are. I want to know your stories, Ron. Because I am mad about you too, so I want to know the things that have happened that have made you who you are." She kissed him again, but this kiss was not one of passion. It was one of promise.
As he walked her back to her office, they chatted about their weeks. The drama rehearsal every night was taking up a lot of time, but Ron asked her and Rose to come to dinner after rehearsal Wednesday or Thursday, which she assured him she would try to make work. He kissed her goodbye as she headed back into the office building. As he watched her go back inside, he shook his head. He was so in love with this witch. But he had to figure out how to get them more time together without impeding on their time with the kids.
That evening after he had gotten Hugo off to bed, Harry ended up popping over for a bit. Ron knew Harry was trying to look out for him, and he appreciated the concern from his oldest friend.
"I got called in to work on that nonsense in Leicester on Sunday so I missed seeing you at The Burrow. Gin said you and Hugo were there, but no Hermione and Rose. Everything going alright?"
Ron took a sip of his butterbeer to think about how to answer that question. "Well, we're sort of together if that's what you're asking."
"Really? That's fantastic. When did that happen?"
"Well, you're the only one who knows. I'd like to not broadcast it to the family quite yet if it's alright with you. She had asked me to go with her to a work benefit dinner thing on Friday. And, well, it was brilliant. Not only did she blow me away with how she worked this room of muggle politicians and business owners into giving to the various refugee organizations what she wanted, but she was actually honored with this huge award. She hadn't been expecting it, and well, it was brilliant. Anyway, we sort of figured things out that evening. But," he said as he took another sip of his drink, "nothing is simple with our situation."
"I think that is putting it mildly," Harry agreed.
"We aren't ready for the kids to know. We don't want to throw things off from how they are working now. I need to be focused on Hugo, and Rose is off to Hogwarts in a few months which is throwing Hermione into a tailspin to begin with."
"Makes sense. Hell, dating your sister was hard enough to navigate. And while we had Teddy, he was only an infant, not to mention he lived with his grandmum most of the time. I cannot imagine trying to date with 2 older kids in the mix."
"Exactly. We just don't have a lot of time to figure things out. Feels like we are teenagers trying to sneak around and not get caught, but we're the parents! We're trying to make it up as we go, but it isn't exactly easy, you know?"
"Well, stick with it, Ron. She's great. And despite the chaos that your life has become, I can tell you've never been happier."
"I know. It's pathetic isn't it? I am totally done for."
"It's not pathetic. I'm happy for you. You of all people deserve happiness."
"I need to figure out how to get us some time alone. But I don't have any ideas. Her parents kept the kids Friday, but it's not like I can call up her dad and say 'hey, your daughter and I need some snogging time so can you babysit for us?'"
"No. I would certainly not recommend that tactic," Harry laughed. "But Gin and I could watch them. I mean, I don't know how Hermione would feel about it since she doesn't know us that well, but we're happy to do it. Hell, they'd probably help Al and Lilly stop bickering for a while."
"You'd do that?"
"Of course we'd do that you twat. You've kept our kids loads of times when we've gone out."
"That would be fantastic. Let me see if I can talk Hermione into the idea. I'd love to take her out on a proper date. So far it's been her work event and meeting up for fish and chips at lunch. Not exactly high romance."
"Sure. We could keep them Saturday evening. Either for the evening or if you want them to sleep over. Either is fine."
"I think the idea of a sleep over – for us or the kids – would freak her out right now. But, I'll totally take you up on the dinner thing. I need to – well, she still doesn't know anything about my past, you know."
"Nothing?"
"Not really. And, honestly, I've loved that. I haven't met anyone since, well since everything, that hasn't thought they'd already known my life's story. Hermione has no expectation of any of that crap. She doesn't know I'm famous or about all the reward money we were given. She doesn't know any of it. She actually seems to like me for me. And, I don't want to screw that up, but I have to tell her. I'm just lucky some Witch Weekly photographer hasn't taken our picture yet. I don't want her to find out that way."
"No – you're right. You owe her the truth. I'm amazed you've made it this long."
"Well she hasn't even known about magic for two months yet. It's hardly something to just drop on her. When she was helping me get some pictures from my flat to bring here she stumbled across that box of medals I had thought was at The Burrow. Anyway – she pulled out the Order of Merlin First Class award, but she didn't even know what it was. I just told her it was an award you and I were given because there was a really bad wizard that you took down and I had to help you do it. And the brilliant thing is she took it at face value."
"Huh," Harry paused. "But you need to tell her. That first time at The Burrow we ended up talking about some random things, and she has put together that Collin and Fred didn't just die in some random accident. She didn't ask me directly what happened, but she made some allusions to needing to feel like the wizarding world was safe for her and Rose. So, maybe coming clean with everything will be good for you. But it will be a lot to absorb, so give her some space with it, you know?"
"I know. I'm dreading it. I hate talking about it anyway, but I am ready for she and I to get to the other side of that conversation. She's so new to magic that you don't need to worry about me going into the horcruxes and stuff today. But Harry, I think I could really end up marrying her. And at some point I will want her to know what Ginny knows. Are you ok with that?"
Harry paused for a moment to consider the question. Ron let the silence hang in the air until Harry finally said, "I can't imagine if Ginny didn't understand what had happened. And while fortunately or unfortunately I happened to end up married to the only woman on the planet who truly understood what it meant to have Voldemort in your head, I am happy for you and Hermione that the woman you'll likely marry someday has no idea what that means. But, I also know that she has to know at some point to be truly your partner. I trust your judgement on when that will be, and on how to ensure she understands the gravity of the knowledge and how crucial it is to never pass it on. And, I'd also ask that you tell Ginny and I once that happens - both for our own peace of mind but also so we can be there for both of you."
Ron exhaled slowly and nodded. "Thanks, mate. I know that's a lot - so, well, thanks."
Harry just nodded and gave a small smile. "How's everything else going – Hugo? The case?"
"Hugo's good. Rose is in this play or something so she isn't around as much in the evenings this week, and I think he misses her. But, he's good. The case, well, I think I'm making some progress. I think I figured out some of what Fi had been up to that last week. And that led me to this crazy muggle plant store. Anyway, I ran what I understand past Nev, and he's been brilliant. I think I have a better sense of what the crime is, I just haven't figured out who is doing it and how they are getting into the distribution chain yet. But, I'm closer."
"Good to hear. I need to get home or Gin will have my hide. But ask Hermione about Saturday and let me know, alright?"
