Proud

"I just don't understand…" Sam said, wiping a tear from her eye. "Am I-Am I being punished for something?"

"Sam…" Freddie sighed, putting an arm around his wife. "Baby-"

"Am I just not a good person?" Sam sniffed. "Is this the universe's cruel way of getting back at me for something I did?"

"No, baby, I'm sure the universe isn't mad at you," Freddie said. "But, um, I-I hate to seem insensitive here, but is it possible that you're being a tad bit overdramatic-"

"Freddie, this is one of the worst things that has ever happened to me!" Sam cried. "How can you be so unsupportive?"

"Sorry, sorry," Freddie said quickly. "You're right…this is the end of the world."

"Daddy?" four-year old Emma said, walking into the room. "How come mommy's crying?"

"Um…" Freddie said. "Well Emma, mommy's crying because-"

"Because the universe hates me," Sam said. "That's why I'm crying Emma."

"How come the universe hates you, mommy?" Emma asked.

"I don't know, sweetie," Sam said, shaking her head, helping Emma onto her lap just as the front door opened and Carly and her daughter, Clarissa walked in.

"Hi, Clarissa!" Emma said to her friend.

"Hi, Emma!" Clarissa said. "Are you and Ashton ready to play with my new Bambie doll?"

"I have to make my mommy feel better first," Emma said. "The universe hates her, and that's making her sad."

"Um…what?" Carly frowned, looking over at Sam and Freddie.

"It's quite a story," Freddie told Carly.

"Aw, Em, don't worry about mommy," Sam said, giving her daughter a small smile. "Go ahead and play with Clarissa and your sister."

"Okay, feel better mommy," Emma said, kissing Sam's cheek.

"That was sweet," Carly said, sitting down on the couch next to the couple as the children ran off.

"Yeah," Sam sighed.

"So…what's this about the universe hating you?" Carly asked. She glanced at Freddie. "Should I be concerned? Is everything okay?"

Freddie quickly shook his head as Sam buried her head in her hands and began to sob.

"She's fine," Freddie mouthed silently to Carly. "She's being overdramatic."

"It's just my luck," Sam said, grabbing another tissue. "I mean this could've happened at any other time but nooo, it had to happen when I am six months pregnant. That is why the universe hates me."

"I'm still kind of lost," Carly frowned. "Oh no! Is everything okay with the baby?"

"The baby is fine," Freddie assured her. "My wife on the other hand…"

"Guess what I found when I checked my email today," Sam said. "Go on, Carly, guess!"

"Um…spam?"

"No!" Sam said. "A personal message from the president of the Fat Cakes company!"

"Really?" Carly said. "Wow, you must've been so excited!"

"I was!" Sam exclaimed. "But then I read it…and that's when this all came crashing down."

"What happened? Are they discontinuing the extra-fat Fat Cakes again?" Carly asked.

"No," Sam said. "There-There's going to be-The Fat Cake company is having its first ever Fat Cake eating competition next month!"

"A Fat Cake eating contest?" Carly repeated. "So they're really going to see who can shove the most Fat Cakes into their mouth. Well that-that's great for you, isn't it? I mean obviously you'd win!"

"Of course I would!" Sam said. "I'm their best customer in Washington! That's why I was personally invited! But I-I can't compete…"

"How come?" Carly asked.

"I told you, the competition is next month," Sam said. "I'm still going to be pregnant."

"You can't compete when your pregnant?"

"It's not healthy for the baby," Sam said, wiping the corner of her eyes. "Believe it or not, Fat Cakes aren't exactly the healthiest thing for you. I mean a few here and there won't hurt the baby, but if I were to down seventy or eighty of them at such a high speed I could really do some damage."

"She came to that responsible conclusion all by herself," Freddie smiled, kissing Sam's temple.

"Oh can it, nub!" Sam snapped. She turned back to Carly. "The prize was a lifetime supply of Fat Cakes…do you know what I could've done with a year supply of Fat Cakes? I could've finally accomplished my dream of building a fort out of them! I could've filled the bathtub with Fat Cakes and sat naked in a tub of them!"

"Huh…strangely that kind of turns me on," Freddie said.

"You're such a dude," Carly said, rolling her eyes, playfully swatting Freddie's shoulder. "But come on, Sam, it's not the end of the-"

"Carly no!" Freddie said quickly. "Don't say that! She hates when you-"

"It is the end of the world!" Sam yelled, tears beginning to fall from her eyes again. "I've been eating Fat Cakes my entire life! This was going to be my chance to shine and now it's just going to pass me by!"

"Aw, baby," Freddie said, trying hard to not to laugh. "Come on, don't-"

"Just leave me alone to wallow in my grief," Sam said, struggling to get to her feet and head to the stairs.

"Okay, I know pregnancy hormones can make you a little loopy," Carly said as Sam went upstairs. "But that was extra loopy."

"Yeah, well, you couple in the pregnancy hormones with her devotion to Fat Cakes and you get a whole other level of crazy," Freddie said.

"Poor Sam, though," Carly said. "It's too bad she can't compete in that competition. I know she would've loved that lifetime supply of Fat Cakes."

"I know," Freddie said, a grin creeping onto his face. "And that's why she's gonna get it!"

"But I thought she couldn't compete," Carly said.

"She can't," Freddie said. "But I can. I'm going to enter the competition and win the lifetime supply! Sam will be able to use it just like it was her own."

"Wait…you're going to the competition?" Carly frowned.

"Yeah, it's just in Olympia," Freddie said. "So travel's going to be no issue. I'm thinking we could just take the train or something."

"Um, travel really wasn't what I was concerned about," Carly said. "Freddie, no offense, but you really think you can win a Fat Cake eating contest? You've never eaten more than one pack in a sitting. And sometimes you even need two sittings for that!"

"Well obviously I'm going to have to train," Freddie said. "But I figure I can get myself into peak form within a month. Don't mention anything to Sam, though. I want this to be a surprise."

"Um, okay," Carly said, still looking hesitant. "Just be careful."

"Carly, relax, I'm eating Fat Cakes, not rat poison," Freddie chuckled, getting to his feet. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on my extra-loopy wife."

…..

"Okay," Freddie said the next day as he sat in the garage, pulling out a box of Fat Cakes from a grocery bag. "By my calculations, I'm most likely going to need to be able to eat about seventy-five Fat Cakes to even have a shot at winning this competition…Let's see, if each box has twelve Fat Cakes in it, that's roughly…seven boxes. I guess I should just start by eating one box and maybe every other day increase it by one box…yeah, that should work."

He opened up the box and dumped the Fat Cakes out. He unwrapped his first one and took a bite.

"Huh…forgot how sweet these are," he said, swallowing. "Eh, I'll get used to it, I'm sure."

After a few minutes he finished the first Fat Cake and picked up his second one. "Ugh…maybe I should've skipped breakfast before doing this," he said, frowning. "I'm already getting stuffed…but you know what? I'm going to have to learn to power through that feeling, so I might as well start now."

It took Freddie another five minutes to finish that second Fat Cake, and by the time he picked up the third, he felt close to puking.

"It's okay…just power through this," Freddie said, trying to ignore the bubbling in his stomach as he unwrapped the third Fat Cake and held it up to his mouth. "Just…nope!"

He jumped to his feet and bolted into the house and into the downstairs bathroom, vomiting the entire contents of his stomach into the toilet.

"Oh my God," Freddie gasped, wiping his brow. "How on earth can Sam eat so many of those and feel fine?"

He got up to his feet, his legs still shaking. "This is going to be a lot harder than I thought…"

"Mommy, when the new baby gets here, can I share rooms with her instead of Emma?" Ashton asked a week later as Sam got breakfast ready for the family.

"Well first of all, Ash, we don't know if this new baby is gonna be a her," Sam said, setting a plate of eggs down on the table. "Second of all…why don't you want to share a room with Emma?"

"Because Emma took my favorite box of crayons so I'm never talking to her again," Ashton said simply.

"Uh-huh…" Sam nodded, pouring Jason a glass of orange juice, all too used to one of the twins declaring this exact statement at least twice a week.

"Mom, can you take me to the computer store after school after school?" Jason asked. "I want to look at the computers again."

"Um, well, I-I think you'd probably have more fun if dad took you," Sam said. "He knows more about computers and he can tell you a gazillion lame-I mean…interesting facts about all of them."

Just then Freddie himself walked into the kitchen with Emma.

"Hey Emma, after breakfast let's play dress-up, okay?" Ashton said. "You can be the cowboy and I'll the princess!"

"Okay!" Emma nodded.

"Oh, so you're talking to your sister again?" Sam smirked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess," Ashton shrugged.

"Hey baby, Jason wants to go to the computer store later," Sam said, giving her husband a quick kiss. "So I was thinking maybe you could take him after dinner tonight?"

"Huh? Oh…um, I-I guess I can try to do that," Freddie mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"You okay?" Sam frowned. "You look awful."

"Just what every husband loves to hear from his wife," Freddie said.

"Well I'm serious, these past few days you've kind of seemed of…blobish," Sam said.

"Blobish?"

"Yeah, it's like all you've been doing is sitting around," Sam said. "So what's up? You not feeling well?"

"Um…sure, that's it," Freddie said quickly.

"Well maybe you should go to the doctor," Sam suggested. "Want me to make you an appointment?"

"No, no, I-I'm sure I'll start perking up soon," Freddie said.

"But-"

"Well, I'm going to go into work," Freddie said, getting to his feet, kissing each of the three kids on their heads. "Jason, let's go so I can drop you off at school."

"Wait, you didn't even eat breakfast," Sam said.

"Huh, oh, um, the studio is bringing in bagels for us today," Freddie said as Jason grabbed his backpack.

"They never did that when I went in," Sam frowned.

"It-It's something they just started for the tech department," Freddie said, kissing her as well.

"Oh," Sam shrugged. "Well, see you tonight I guess. Have a good day at school, Jason."

"Bye, baby," Freddie said.

"Oh man…I'm not even sure these things should be considered food anymore," Freddie moaned that afternoon as he sat in Carly's office at the T.V. studio where they both worked. He took another bite of his tenth Fat Cake and let out a loud groan.

"So what's your record so far?" Carly asked.

"I got to fourteen yesterday," Freddie said.

"That's pretty good," Carly said.

"Sam could eat fourteen Fat Cakes as a pre-snack," Freddie scoffed. "I'm nowhere near where I need to be for the contest."

"Well you still have two weeks to train," Carly said. "Er, how are you feeling, by the way? You look kind of…blah."

"Gee, thanks," Freddie said. "Sam said that this morning too. I guess my body's not used to eating so much processed food. I mean I grew up eating fruit sauce, after all. Seriously, how can Sam eat these things as much as she does and still look hot and have all that energy?"

"I stopped questioning Sam's eating abilities long ago," Carly said.

"I swear, I've gained like, five pounds already," Freddie said, adjusting his pants uncomfortably. "I'm going to have to go on a strict diet after this contest. But it'll be worth it if I can win Sam her lifetime supply of Fat Cakes. Alright, I'm gonna head home and rest up and tonight I'm going to try to finally make my way through two full boxes. If I don't come in tomorrow…that means I'm in a food coma."

"I'm never touching another Fat Cake again," Freddie moaned a few nights later as he crawled up off the bathroom floor. He had just finished three full boxes of Fat Cakes and had suffered the consequences shortly after.

"Dude, was that you I just heard gagging up here?" Sam asked, knocking on the bathroom door. "You alright?"
"Um, yeah," Freddie said quickly. "I just…uh…I got an upset stomach from that pizza we ordered tonight."

"How?" Sam asked. "You didn't eat any!"

"Yeah, um, but it-it had a strong scent," Freddie said lamely, quickly rinsing his face and stepping out into the couple's bedroom.

Sam gave him an inquiring look as he climbed into bed.

"What?" Freddie yawned.

"It's not even eight yet," Sam said. "Why the heck are you in bed? We've still got three kids to put to sleep!"

"Um, could you field that tonight, baby?" Freddie yawned, feeling sick and drained from the Fat Cakes. "You have no idea how bad I feel right now. I'm all crampy and bloated and nauseous."

"Really?" Sam frowned. "Gee, and here I am just six-months pregnant. I wouldn't know what any of that feels like!"

"Okay…that was a dumb thing to say," Freddie sighed. "But Sam…I don't think I can move off this bed."

"Baby…I really think you need to go to the doctor," Sam said, her tone softening. "I mean you've been acting really out-of-it for the past two weeks."

"No, no, I'm fine," Freddie said.

"But-"

"I'll put the kids to bed tomorrow, I promise," Freddie said, his stomach still churning.

Sam opened her mouth to argue, but just then Emma and Ashton raced into the room with their favorite storybook.

"We're waiting for our story," Ashton said. "Someone has to read to us!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming," Sam said, looking back at Freddie. "Come on, girls."

…..

"You sure you're okay taking the twins to the birthday party this afternoon?" Sam asked as her and Carly sat in her living room.

"Yeah, it's no problem," Carly said. "I know being in a room with twenty screaming four-year olds isn't exactly a pregnant woman's dream. And the twins can't miss this party; it's the preschool social event of the year!"

"Right," Sam smirked, rolling her eyes. "Well thanks, Carls."

"Hey," Freddie said, dragging his feet into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. "Do we have anymore antacid, Sam?"

"I think you finished it last night," Sam said. "You feel sick again?"

"Um…no," Freddie said lamely. "I'm doing an experiment."

"Can I please make you a dang doctor's appointment?" Sam said, exasperated.

"I'm not sick!"

"Freddie, for like, the past month you've been-"

"Sam, believe me, I'm fine," Freddie said.

"You look horrible!" Sam cried.

"Um, no-I-I think Freddie looks alright," Carly said quickly.

"What?" Sam frowned.

"Thank you, Carly," Freddie said. "See, Sam? I'm alright. Now I'm going to run to the store for that antacid. You want anything?"

"I dunno, I guess I could go for some more pickles," Sam sighed, still giving Freddie a skeptical look. "Oh! And chocolate ice cream! And you know what, I think we're out of Fat Cakes, so can you pick up another box?"

Carly saw Freddie quickly cover up a gag. "Um…sure, sure. See you guys later."

Once Freddie left the house, Sam turned back to Carly. "He looks alright? Are you blind?"

"What?" Carly asked innocently, suddenly becoming very interested in her can of diet soda.

"Am I the only one who sees that there's something clearly wrong with him?" Sam said. "He has like, zero energy lately, he's been throwing up like, twice a day, and he's definitely gained like, fifteen pounds this past month."

"Are you calling your husband fat?" Carly said.

"Carly, I think something going on," Sam said, ignoring her comment. "I just have no idea what. I looked up his symptoms last night on that web doctor thing, and the only diagnosis I got was pregnancy, and I think we can rule that out."

"Well, you know, I-I remember reading once that sometimes, when their wives are pregnant, guys go through a 'sympathy pregnancy'," Carly said.

" Huh?" Sam frowned.

"Yeah, they feel really guilty about watching their wives go through morning sickness and bloating and all that, so they unconsciously begin making all those things happen to themselves," Carly said. "It's a real hot topic in the psychological community."

"Since when are you up-to-date about what's going on in the psychological community?" Sam asked, somewhat amused.

"Um…since always," Carly said. "You know I aced that one psych class I took in college…after I retook it. But that's probably what's going on with Freddie."

"This never happened when I was pregnant before," Sam pointed out.

"Well, maybe Freddie just feels extra guilty about watching you go through all your symptoms this pregnancy because you have the extra stress of dealing with three other kids," Carly suggested.

"I dunno…" Sam said slowly. "I guess that could be it…but I still kind of think something's up."

"Sam, come on, you know your pregnancy hormones make you kind of paranoid," Carly said. "When you were pregnant with the twins you thought Gibby was a mermaid…again."

"And I've told you a million times, until I see definite proof that he's not, I'm sticking with my gut on that one," Sam said firmly. "But I know my husband; something's up! I just wish I knew what…Is something going on at work?"

"Sam, I'm sure Freddie's fine," Carly said. "In fact, I bet after this weekend you won't even notice anything anymore!"

"This weekend?" Sam frowned. "I hope Freddie's feeling better by then. He planned this big family trip to Olympia."

"Did he?" Carly smiled.

"Yeah, he wants us to do something fun one last time before the baby comes and we're super busy," Sam shrugged.

"Well there you go! I'm sure you'll have a great time," Carly said, getting to her feet.

"Yeah, but-"

"Alright, well, I've got a preschooler's birthday to attend," Carly said quickly. "I'll just go grab the girls from upstairs and then we'll be out of your hair."

"Wait, Carly!" Sam called as her best friend hurried up the steps. "You're-ugh! What is going on around here?" She rested her hand on the bump on her abdomen, feeling her unborn child gently kicking. "You'll see just how crazy everybody but mommy is soon, won't you?" she chuckled. "They're all nuts out here."

….

"So what's the plan, Frednub?" Sam asked, holding on to the twins' hands as the Benson family made their way down the streets of Olympia. "We gonna go that fancy aquarium or find a nice restaurant?"

"Well," Freddie smiled. "I was thinking we could go to the park."

"The park?" Sam repeated. "As in outside?"

"It's a nice day out," Freddie commented. "And the kids would have fun, right guys?"

"We love the park," Emma nodded.

"Yeah, I like the swings," Ashton added.
"And I guess I could find more bugs for my bug collection," Jason said.

"Your what?" Sam frowned.

"Um…nothing," Jason said quickly.

"Well, fine I guess if everybody wants to go to the park we can go to the park," Sam shrugged. "But you're buying me a pretzel."

"Sure," Freddie smiled, taking her head. "Come on, there's a park right around the corner…"

"Hey…it looks kind of crowded," Sam said as the family got nearer to the park. "And what's that banner over there say…First Annual Fat Cake Eating Competition…oh my God! I totally forgot that competition was this weekend!"

"Fat Cakes! Yeah!" Emma cheered. "Are we gonna get Fat Cakes? Huh? Are we?"

"I'm not going," Sam said firmly, crossing her arms. "I'm not about to watch a bunch of chumps eat their way to my lifetime supply. That's just cruel and unusual torture."

"Oh, I think you're gonna want to watch," Freddie said, a grin creeping onto his face. "Because one of those chumps competing is going to be your husband!"

"Wait…huh?" Sam frowned, confused.

"I signed up for the contest," Freddie told her. "I've been practicing for weeks and I'm going to win you that lifetime supply, baby!"

"Are you-Are you serious?" Sam said, staring at him in disbelief.

"I've been forcing myself to eat as many Fat Cakes as I could for a whole month now," Freddie said. "It was hard, but two days ago I finally made my way through seven boxes! Of course I puked half of them up two seconds later, but…"

"So…So is that what's been going on?" Sam said. "You've been acting all weird because you've been busy gorging yourself with Fat Cakes for this contest?"

"That's right," Freddie grinned.

"But-But baby, you hate competitive eating," Sam said. "You can barely finish one Fat Cake…"

"I told you, I practiced hard," Freddie said. "And now I'm going to make you proud!"

"You're gonna eat the most Fat Cakes, daddy?" Ashton asked.

"Sure am," Freddie said, checking his watch. "Oh, I have to go sign in; the contest starts in twenty minutes. You guys should try to find some seats."

"I-Okay," Sam said, still shocked. "Hey, good luck, Fredwad! I-I seriously can't believe you're about to do this just to win me that lifetime supply!"

"Of course I am," Freddie said simply, leaning down to give her a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," Sam smiled as Jason began making loud gagging noises at the sight of his parents' affection.

Freddie hurried off to the large stage set up in the middle of the park, and Sam led the kids towards a nearby bench.

"Mommy, daddy's gonna win you a gazillion Fat Cakes!" Emma said excitedly. "Will you share with us? Please?"

Sam chuckled. "We'll see."

Sam looked up at the other competitors, who were all much bigger than Freddie.

Those guys will probably get through twenty boxes before Freddie finishes seven, Sam thought to herself. There's no way he's going to win this…

But still, the fact that her husband, her husband who barely had an appetitive for two plates on Thanksgiving, would even attempt this…it made her feel better than any amount of Fat Cakes could have.

"There you go, get it out," Sam said an hour later as she rubbed Freddie's back as he puked heavily into a trashcan.

"Gross!" Ashton cringed.

"Cool!" Emma said. "I've never seen someone throw up as much as you did, daddy!"

"I think my stomach's going to implode," Freddie moaned as Sam handed him a water bottle.
"It'll pass," Sam said, squeezing his shoulder. "But baby, you were great up there!"

"How?" Freddie frowned. "I was the first one out! I only ate seven and-a-half boxes and the winner downed like, forty-three."

"Hey, he was like, five-hundred pounds," Sam said. "He would've given even me a run for my money."

"I still think you did good, dad," Jason said. "I couldn't eat that many Fat Cakes."

"I bet I could," Emma said. "Can I try this next year?"

"No," Sam said. "You guys are still sticking with the one Fat Cake a week rule daddy came up with."

"Aw man," Emma sighed.

"Alright, I don't think daddy's in any shape to move for awhile," Sam said, helping her husband over to a picnic table. "So why don't you go play on the playground for a little bit while he rests?"

"I'm sorry, Sam," Freddie said as the kids ran off. "I really thought I had a shot at winning that lifetime supply for you. I guess I was just dreaming, right?"

"Eh, you still shattered your own record," Sam pointed out. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "But baby, that was so sweet of you…I can't believe you did that for me."

"I don't know how you eat like you do," Freddie said, slouching down. "I feel like absolute butt right now."

"I have a gift," Sam shrugged.

"I just really wish I could've gotten you that prize," Freddie sighed.

"Hey, seriously, it's okay," Sam said. "Honestly…I really don't need that many Fat Cakes. They-They've been starting to kind of get to me."

"They have?"

"Well they're filled with preservatives and all sorts of other junk!" Sam said. "This past year I've noticed I'd start to feel kind of icky after eating only like, one box."

"Really?" Freddie said. "Wow…one box is nothing to you."

"I know!" Sam said. "I kind of blame you, you know. When I was younger and I lived off of junk food, my body could handle that. But now that I have you trying shoving vegetables and 'healthy options' down my throat, my body's gotten picky. Plus, well, I guess it's just aging too. I'm not as young as I once was."

"You're plenty young, baby," Freddie said at once.

"Good boy," Sam said approvingly. "But…I think I'm gonna start cutting down on my Fat Cakes. Maybe two boxes a week once the baby is born."

"Wow, that's a big change," Freddie said. "But I think it's a great idea."

"We'll see how long I last," Sam shrugged. She gave his cheek another kiss. "Still…thank you, baby. It really means so much that you even tried this. And I've got to say…seeing you up there, shoving Fat Cakes into your mouth like there's no tomorrow…kinda sexy."

"Really now?" Freddie chuckled.

"Yeah," Sam grinned. "So maybe when we get back to Seattle we can see if you have enough energy left for me to show you exactly how sexy I thought you looked up there."

"Oh, I'll definitely have my energy back for that," Freddie assured her. "Don't you worry."