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"Alright Carly, this is the one time I'm ever gonna play this dumb little game with you, so you better live it up," Sam announced as she stepped into the Shay's apartment carrying a large bag. She reached into it and pulled out two dresses. "Which one do you like the best?"
"Oh! I love judging dresses!" Carly said excitedly, tossing her Pearpad aside and jumping up off the couch. "Hmm…well you do look good in red, but that black dress looks really hot. It reminds me of this dress I saw on Project Catwalk a few nights ago. Man, that was a really good episode. The contestants-"
"So the black dress it is then," Sam said, cutting her best friend off and stuffing the dresses back into the bag. "That's all I wanted, Carls."
"Why'd you go dress shopping anyway?" Carly asked. "Without me, I might add."
"I went without you because I don't have nine hours to spend at the mall," Sam smirked. "And I need something for tonight. It's my two-year anniversary with Freddie."
"Huh? No it's not," Carly frowned. "It's July…You and Freddie started going out in November. You celebrated your one-year in November last year. Don't you remember? He flew out to Washington State and you guys celebrated by going out to dinner and a show and then you kicked me out of our dorm room for the rest of the night and forced me to sleep on the couch in the lounge?"
"First of all, we didn't kick you out," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
"Well yeah, I guess you two were both too busy sucking face and undressing each other to officially do that," Carly said, shaking her head. "But the point is I couldn't have stayed in that room without enduring some serious trauma."
"Sorry," Sam said simply.
"But anyway, that definitely was in November," Carly said.
"Eh, me and Freddie decided to move our anniversary date," Sam replied.
"Can-Can you do that?" Carly frowned, confused. "Isn't that against the rules?"
"What rules?"
"I dunno, the relationship rules?"
"Well me and Freddie were talking a few nights ago and we realized that this year at school we're both going to be a lot busier," Sam said. "I mean with me doing that literary magazine thing and joining the dance team, and him taking harder courses and all his nerdy chiz, we didn't think there'd be time for either of us to fly out to spend our anniversary together. So we figured it'd be easiest if we just moved the date to July. That way we'd both always be out of school and could actually celebrate properly."
"Oh…I mean I guess that's not the worst idea I've ever heard," Carly said slowly. "But won't it be weird celebrating two years together when you've only really been together for twenty months?"
"Well if you factor in that one month we dated and broke up and then that whole awkward period after where we both knew we wanted to get back together but were too chicken to do anything about it, it adds up," Sam said.
"Ah, very true," Carly chuckled. "So what are you guys doing tonight?"
"We're going to a bed and breakfast," Sam grinned.
"Oh, how romantic," Carly said. "And grown up."
"We are adults, Carls," Sam reminded her.
"Yeah, but try telling that to Freddie's mom," Carly pointed out. "How's she going to feel about you two spending the night somewhere together when she hardly lets you hold hands when she's around?"
"That's another perk of moving our anniversary date to July," Sam said. "Apparently July is Aggressive Parenting's Fungal Awareness month, so there's some whole big exhibition on ointments and creams in Kentucky. So Crazy's off at that."
"Nice."
"Yup," Sam said, getting to her feet. "Alright, well I'm out of here. We're supposed to leave in a few hours and I need to start getting ready."
"Since when do you take more than twenty minutes to get ready for a date?" Carly asked.
"I've got to figure out a way to scrub the honey mustard out of my good bra," Sam explained.
"Ugh, for the millionth time, wear a shirt when you eat messy foods!" Carly said, rolling her eyes.
"I told you, the food tastes better that way," Sam said.
"How does that even make-"
"Later Carls," Sam said. "I'll see you in a couple days."
"Bye, have fun," Carly laughed.
Once Sam left, Carly picked up the remote and turned on the television and began flipping through the channels. After a few moments, though, there was a knock at her door and Freddie walked in, covering his nose with his hand.
"Hey, Sam's not here, is she?" he asked.
"No, she just left, actually," Carly replied. "I helped her pick out her dress for your anniversary date tonight. You're gonna love it. She-Um, what are you doing?"
"What do you mean?" Freddie asked lamely.
"Why are you covering your nose with your hand?" Carly frowned, standing up.
"N-No reason," Freddie said. "Hey, is Spencer home?"
"No, he's waterskiing with Socko," Carly said. "Now come on, what's up?"
"Can't I just have my hand covering my nose without being put on trial here?" Freddie snapped.
"No," Carly said, reaching up to yank Freddie's hand away.
"Carly, no!" Freddie said, struggling to stop her. "Stop it!"
But Carly was too fast for him. She managed to drag his hand away from his nose, revealing a massive, bright red zit right on the tip of Freddie's nose.
"Oh my God!" Carly gasped. "That's the biggest zit I've seen in my whole life!"
"Thanks!" Freddie said indignantly.
"Um…sorry," Carly said quickly. "I mean…you-you can barely see it."
"Please, don't patronize me," Freddie scoffed, flopping down on the couch.
"What-what happened?" Carly asked, still staring at the blemish.
"I don't know!" Freddie exclaimed. "I woke up this morning and this thing was here! Ugh, this is just my luck! Sam and I are supposed to go to this really nice bed and breakfast today."
"Yeah, she told me," Carly said. "She's pretty excited."
"Great," Freddie sighed. "That means she'll be super disappointed when I cancel."
"Why would you cancel?" Carly asked.
"Come on, Carly, you don't expect me to show up for my anniversary date with Sam looking like this, do you?" Freddie sighed. "I look like a monster! A freak! A side-show attraction! A-Feel free to disagree at any time, you know!"
"Sorry, sorry, I was just distracted by your zit," Carly said quickly. "I think I can see it throbbing…"
"You see?" Freddie exclaimed. "I can't go out with this thing! Even you, the nice one, is making fun of it."
"No, no, I-I was just caught off guard," Carly said. "Okay, yes, it-it isn't exactly the most attractive thing in the world, but there's worse things that could happen. None come to mind right now, but…"
"I'm calling Sam up and telling her I had to fly out to meet my mom in Kentucky," Freddie said firmly.
"Aw no, don't do that," Carly said. "I told you, she's super excited. You and Sam have been together for two years now…well, give or take. But the point is, you two should be comfortable enough to deal with these things. I mean you've seen Sam at some pretty low points, haven't you? What about last summer when she got food poisoning and you sat with her for three hours while she puked her guts up? Or what about when that scab on her foot got infected and you helped her rub cream all over it."
"Carly," Freddie said. "If you had a zit this size in the middle of your face, would you want to go out on a big date? Even if you had been with the guy for two years?"
"Well…no," Carly admitted.
"Tonight was supposed to be a really special night," Freddie said. "And-And I just don't want to mess it up. I don't want Sam to be embarrassed about her boyfriend looking like a total freak! I mean already when we go out I can tell that people think 'What's a hot girl like that doing with a nerdy geek like him?'"
"Aw, Freddie," Carly said gently.
"We can go out next weekend," Freddie said. "Hopefully by then this zit won't be the size of a volcano."
"You can't just celebrate your anniversary any old time you feel like it, you know," Carly said.
"We moved it from our original date already," Freddie shrugged.
"Well you can't do it twice!" Carly said. "Hey! Why don't you just cover your zit up?"
"With what? A hat?" Freddie scoffed.
"No, makeup," Carly replied.
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, we're about the same skin tone," Carly said, examining Freddie's face. "I can use my makeup to make that zit practically invisible!"
"Um, you really think that would work?" Freddie said skeptically.
"Freddie, Freddie, Freddie," Carly chuckled, shaking her head. "I have four whole drawers filled with all sorts of creams and concealers. I've been watching makeup tutorials online since I was twelve. This is my element!"
"Well…alright," Freddie reluctantly agreed. "If you really think you can help…"
"Trust me," Carly assured him. "I can fix your zit."
….
"Okay, I can't fix your zit," Carly said a couple hours later in Freddie's apartment, tossing her makeup brush aside in defeat.
"I thought makeup was your element," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.
"Well I guess I have to find a new element then," Carly sighed. "I tried five different brands of concealer, all my powders, half-a-dozen facial creams and if anything I think I made it bigger."
"Great!" Freddie moaned, looking at his reflection in one of Carly's compacts that were scattered all over his coffee table.
"Look, Freddie, I understand that your self-conscious about the zit," Carly said sympathetically as she began to clean up her makeup. "And I get that you want to look your best for Sam tonight, but do you really think hiding out and canceling your date is the best answer?"
"Absolutely," Freddie said at once.
"Come on, do you really think Sam's going to care about something as silly as a little pimple?" Carly asked.
"First of all, this isn't a little pimple," Freddie said. "In fact I believe your exacts words were that it was the 'biggest zit you've seen in your whole life'."
"Well…fine," Carly conceded. "But still, Sam's not going to make fun of you for it. You know she's gotten really good at knowing the limits of insulting people. And she loves you!"
"I know she loves me, and I love her too," Freddie said. "But even if Sam doesn't make a big deal of this, everybody else we come into contact with tonight will, and it's just going to emphasize the fact that-that she can do a lot better than me."
"Freddie, that's ridiculous! You-"
"Listen Carls, spare me the 'uplifting speech'," Freddie said. "I know you mean well but…you just don't understand."
Carly opened her mouth to reply but decided against it.
"Well…alright," she said, gathering up her makeup bags. "I won't try to convince you not to cancel your date then."
"Thank you," Freddie said.
"Um…have a good night then," Carly said.
Carly stepped out of the Benson's apartment and was about to retreat back to her own home when suddenly her best friend turned the corner, nearly bumping into her.
"Whoa, sorry Carls," Sam said. "Didn't see you. I was too busy focusing on trying not to trip in these heels."
"Wow," Carly said. "Sam, you look great."
"I better," Sam smirked. "You know how long I spent in the shower shaving? It's a good thing I always make myself a shower snack. Hey, were you just coming out of Freddie's place?"
"Um…yes," Carly said slowly.
"What were you guys doing?" Sam asked. "Oh, did the nub try to get you to make a War of Warlords account? Apparently the site has a deal this week where players get a sack of gold for every new player they recruit-"
"No, um-" Carly started.
"Wait, why do you have your makeup bags?" Sam asked. "Well…five out of the ten makeup bags?"
"I…There was better lighting at Freddie's place?" Carly said lamely.
"Right…" Sam frowned. "Well, lucky for you I don't have time to dig into your weirdness right now. Freddie and I need to hit the road now if we want to miss traffic."
"Um, Sam, about that," Carly said.
"What?"
"I just…I think…You need to talk to Freddie," Carly said.
"Why?" Sam said at once. "Is he okay?"
"Um, more or less," Carly replied.
"Carls, seriously, what's wrong with Freddie?" Sam demanded.
"You should just talk to him," Carly said. "I think he really needs that right now."
Before Sam could inquire any further, Carly quickly darted into her apartment, locking the door behind her.
Shaking her head, Sam knocked at Freddie's door.
"Freddie?" she called inside.
"Sam!" she heard her boyfriend reply from the other side of the door. "I-I was just about to call you. I was hoping to catch you before you left your house but…I-I have to cancel tonight. I'm so sorry."
"Excuse me?" Sam frowned. "You're canceling our date? Our anniversary date?"
"We can go out next weekend instead," Freddie said. "But um, I-I have to fly out to meet my mom in Kentucky. Um…she-she needs an ointment model and, well…"
"Freddie, open the door," Sam said, rattling the knob. "Now."
"Um…sorry, no can do," Freddie said. "My-My suitcase is blocking the door."
"So move your suitcase."
"Er, it's really heavy?"
"Dude, you have about ten seconds to open this door before I pick the dang lock myself!" Sam snapped.
"That won't work," Freddie said. "My mom put in five new deadbolts before she left."
"And those just happened to be locked when your super heavy suitcase fell in front of the door?" Sam scoffed.
"Um…yup," Freddie said lamely.
"Alright," Sam sighed. "You win then. Clearly this door is not opening."
"What now?"
"Yeah, I mean, what else can I do?" Sam said. "So I guess you can just stay inside and I'll just stay out here…In my new dress…which looks super hot on me, by the way."
"Sam…"
"You know, I was really debating buying this dress," Sam continued. "See, I thought it was kind of low-cut, but then I decided to just go for it. I mean it is our anniversary after all. Oh well…guess I'll just go put a sweatshirt on and-"
Just then she heard the sound of the door unlocking and a second later it opened up a crack.
"Managed to move that suitcase, huh?" she smirked.
"Wow…you do look super hot," Freddie said.
"How can you tell? The door's open like, half an inch," Sam said.
"I can tell," Freddie replied simply.
"Baby…what's going on?" Sam asked gently. "Why are you trying to cancel our date?"
"I-"
"Just open up," Sam said. "All the way."
She heard Freddie let out a deep breath.
"Fine," he agreed. "But just…it's not pretty."
"Huh?"
"I'm just warning you," Freddie said, pulling the door open all the way.
"What are you-oh."
Sam stared right at the bright red zit in the middle of Freddie's boyfriend.
"That's right, laugh it up," Freddie said. "Make all the jokes you want."
"Well jeez, I've got plenty of material," Sam chuckled. "Rudolph jokes, clown jokes…the list is endless. But don't worry, Frednub, I'm not going to say a single word about that zit this whole weekend. I'll just write down my best lines and use them when we get back. Now come on, the sooner we leave, the sooner we get there and the sooner we can eat."
"Sam, I told you, I-I'm not going," Freddie said.
"Why not?" Sam asked. "What's the problem now? I saw the zit! I just told you, I'm not gonna make fun of you this weekend. I'm not that much of a demon, you know."
"I know you're not," Freddie said. "It's just that if we go out with me looking like this, people are going to see us and wonder what in the world you're doing with some chump like me. I mean you've always been way out of my league…but now I add this to the equation and-"
"Hold on, hold on, hold on," Sam said. "You think you're out of my league?"
"Sam, look at you," Freddie said. "You're insanely gorgeous! And not only that, you're hilarious and cool and-and perfect! When I talk about you at MIT, nobody even believes you exist because they can't see somebody like you with somebody like me!"
Sam didn't reply. She just stared at Freddie.
"I just don't want to be any more of an embarrassment to you than I already am," Freddie continued softly. "I love you too much to do that to-"
He was cut off as Sam leaned up and kissed him passionately.
"What-What was that for?" Freddie asked a moment later when they pulled apart.
"Freddie…" Sam said, her voice taking a serious tone. "Freddie, how-how could you ever think you-why would you think-you-you really think you're an embarrassment to me? Freddie, I love you. So much. I-I don't understand…"
"I know you love me, Sam," Freddie said. "I told you, I know that. It's just hard to constantly have to hear people whispering things like 'what's she doing with him?' or 'she could do so much better'."
"But Freddie, who cares what anybody else thinks," Sam said.
"I know, I know, I shouldn't," Freddie sighed, sitting down on his couch. "It's just…hard. I dunno, I know it's hard for you to get and all, but-"
"Why do you think it's hard for me to get?" Sam asked suddenly.
"Huh?" Freddie frowned.
"Listen," Sam said, sitting down next to Freddie. "You remember when we first started going out senior year in high school?"
"Of course," Freddie nodded. "Still, what does that have to do with-"
"You remember towards the end of the year, when Carly made us help out with that big student government bake sale?" Sam went on. "And we had to spend the entire day dealing with that whole group of obnoxious, overly-peppy girls?"
"Um, sure," Freddie said, still confused.
"Well when we were cleaning up, and you and Carly were going around the school taking down all of the publicity, I heard that dumb group of girls talking," Sam said. "About us. I guess they were really attracted to what a nice guy you had been. I mean you were running all over the place helping out and making sure everybody was doing okay."
Freddie still didn't see where Sam was going with this.
"And well, I sat on my butt and complained the entire time," Sam said. "Like I always did at those things. And those girls noticed, too. And they just kept going on and on about how they didn't understand how such a lazy, rude slob like me could be with someone as great as you."
Freddie blinked. "They-They said that?"
"Yeah," Sam whispered. "They did. They said that you should be with someone more like, well, them. Or Carly. Basically just anybody better than me."
"There's nobody better than you, though, baby," Freddie said at once.
Sam gave him a small smile.
"That's not exactly the first thought that came to my mind though, after hearing them say all of that," Sam admitted. "Honestly, after I heard them say that I-I kind of saw their point. It didn't make sense for somebody as nice as you to be with somebody like me. And-And I figured if those airheads could see that, so could everybody else. Don't get me wrong, I-I knew that you loved me, but just realizing that everybody else around saw me as somebody who was so wrong for you, it-it made me feel…icky."
"Hang on," Freddie said slowly. "Towards the end of senior year…there-there were a few times when you cancelled dates and convinced me to just stay in with you instead of going out. Did that-That didn't have anything to do with-"
Sam nodded. "I just didn't want to deal with everybody else's opinions about our relationship."
"Sam…" Freddie said, putting his arms around her. "I-I had no idea. If I did I-I would've told those girls off and-"
"It's okay," Sam said quickly. "But you know what? I got over it."
"How?"
"Well…believe it or not, my mom had a rare parenting moment," Sam smirked.
"You mom?" Freddie repeated. "That doesn't sound like her…"
"Yeah, she saw that we had stopped going out a lot and I guess she realized I was acting weird and put two and two together," Sam shrugged. "And she told me I was being stupid."
"That sounds like her," Freddie chuckled.
"She told me that I had landed myself, to quote, 'a hot hunk of guy' who treated me like a princess and I shouldn't let what a few losers keep me from that," Sam said.
"Your mom called me a hot hunk of guy?" Freddie frowned.
"She's called you worse," Sam said dismissively. "But the point is, she was right. I was worrying so much about what other people thought of our relationship that I wasn't enjoying being in the relationship and doing all of the things that I loved doing with you."
Freddie pondered this for a moment.
"I have been looking forward to tonight," Freddie said.
"I know you have," Sam grinned. "So don't let what a few morons think keep you from having a good time. And just remember…anybody who thinks you're too dorky looking to be with me…what they think doesn't count. What counts is what I think. And you know what? I think you're pretty sexy."
"Really?" Freddie chuckled. "Sexy, you say?"
"Oh yeah," Sam nodded, putting her arms around his neck. "Sure, you may look like a dork when you wear those lame shirts your mom buys you, but I get to see you without them."
Freddie laughed.
"And I'm looking forward to seeing you without a shirt tonight," Sam continued, smiling seductively at her boyfriend. "And without anything else too…So come on, let's hurry up and get to that bed and breakfast so I can show you how sexy I think you are."
"Well how can I argue with that?" Freddie said, jumping up from the couch and pulling Sam up with him. "God, I love you so much."
Sam leaned up and kissed him again. "I love you too," she said. "Happy kind-of anniversary."
"Happy kind-of anniversary," Freddie beamed, kissing her again. "Okay, but seriously, we need to get to this bed and breakfast now."
"You that eager?" Sam smirked.
"You were sitting in my lap kissing me and calling me sexy, that takes an effect, Sam," Freddie defended.
"Yeah, well, maybe now you won't drive five miles below the speed limit," Sam chuckled.
"Trust me," Freddie said, grabbing his keys. "Tonight might be the first time in my life I'm at risk for a speeding ticket."
