It was midsummer when the cattle deaths caught Brady's attention. He'd heard the speculation at college. The Stanford Biology department was buzzing with the news. It was something challenging for their zoological epidemiology department to study. Weird things got geeks excited

It made a blip on Brady's radar for a very different reason. Something was coming. When it was followed up by seemingly random crop failures (another thing that made the science geeks excited) he was fully alert. There had been no drought. No blight. Nothing that should have kicked off an obvious withering of grapes on the vine near Palo humans could sit and study the phenomenon to their heart's content, and try to come up with a scientific explanation for the freak occurrences. Laughable in and of itself because humans didn't even have the slightest beginning of understanding on the phenomenon that moved their universe. Scientific or otherwise.

They could remain in the dark, as they always were. Brady knew exactly what was happening.

Azazel was readying for something big.


The house was burning. Shrouded in fire. Blonde hair was ablaze. Sam looked up and pieces of it came down as a smelly embered ash. The crackle hissed around him. He yelled out and there were hands on him.

Dean's voice. "Go! Come on, Sam! Move."

Sam couldn't.

Frozen in horror.

Dean...and then there was Dad's deep baritone. "Move it, Sam!"

And suddenly the burning figure was mom. But it flickered and then it was Dean. Dad. And finally Jessica. Jessica caught in a blaze. Crying.

"No!"

The cry tore from Sam's throat and he shot up in bed.

"Sam!" He'd startled Jessica. She'd rolled over to watch him in the dim light of the bedroom.

He took a moment to get his bearings, orient himself. It was a dream. Just a freaking dream. He tried to slow his breathing. His bangs were plastered to his forehead with sweat. He felt gross.

"I'm sorry. Go back to sleep." He told her.

He got out of bed, the floor cold against his bare feet. It felt good. The summers here were too hot.

"You okay?" She whispered. He'd heard so many different iterations of that phrase over the years. Spoken by Dean and Dad. Now Jessica. Spoken in hushed tones whenever the terrors in his mind shook him awake at night.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm good." Sam padded off to the bathroom. Nightmares were not an uncommon occurrence for him so at least Jessica wouldn't be too curious.

He turned on the faucet and splashed water over his face. His expression crumbled for a moment until he wrestled himself back under control. He was fine. She was safe.

Sam wiped his face off with a towel and pulled it away with surprise. There was a smear of blood on it. Another nosebleed. He grabbed a wad of toilet paper and packed some of it in his nose, then put the lid down on the toilet and sat, tilting his head back. He looked at the ceiling and thought of his mother burning.


The LSAT was over.

Sam blew out a breath and headed out of the testing area. He grabbed his book bag in the waiting room where he'd left it outside the testing lab. It was a black bag with room for a laptop. The worn red grimy book bag he'd arrived at Palo Alto with years ago had finally ripped beyond repair. It felt good to throw it out. He'd had it since junior high. Felt good to throw most of the stuff from that time period out if he were honest to himself.

Jess was waiting for him in the long beige hallway. "Hey..." she said cheerfully. "How'd you do?"

People crowded past them.

Sam shrugged, moving closer in the press of bodies. "I don't know. I hate standardized tests. They always make me nervous."

"You'll ace it," she replied, looking up at him with an undisguised fondness.

Sam never quite knew what to do with the faith she put in him. She believed in him when, half the time, he didn't deserve it.

He'd grown up being chastised and questioned and told he was less than. Dad didn't trust him to do the simplest of tasks. Dean never had faith that he was going to make the right choice. But here he was.

He'd made one huge choice. He'd broken off and left. And look where he was. He had a full scholarship. He'd supported himself and gone through four years of college. He had an education under his belt, real world work experience, friends he'd managed to hold onto for more than a few months, and he had Jess. He made the choice for Jessica. The best choice he ever made.

He discovered that the "real" world wasn't fraught with danger and death from every corner. Monsters didn't dog his foot steps. Not everyone was a struggling alcoholic. Some people were open and loving and wouldn't crush your heart.

Sam put his arm around her and waited for a clearing of people. The throng left and he stepped out into the tiled corridor. "I don't know where you get your faith in me."

She leaned into him as they walked. "It's not faith. I've seen what you can do."

"Well, what I can do and how I actually perform are two different things." She was warm and comforting pressed against him. It felt so...natural, like he'd always had Jess on his arm.

"Its not Faith when I've seen you take tests. You always ace them."

"It's still faith that I'm gonna do it again." He reasoned.

"But you've always done it. So I gotta say, statistically, you're pretty awesome."

He grinned widely, feeling his heart swell.

They stepped out into the sun and Sam felt a stab of pain behind his eyes. He yelped and shrank against the brick of the building. He could feel the sand paper texture on his back, biting through his cotton t-shirt.

Jess was over him as he crouched down a little, grabbing his nose. "Hey what's wrong? You having one of your migraines?"

Sam nodded stiffly. "Yeah."

"Okay." Jess said as he sat heavily on the pavement.

She touched his shoulder. "There's no hurry. If you want to go stand inside where it's dark I can get the car and pull it around to pick you up."

Just as quickly as it had come, the pain started to lift.

He sighed with relief.

"I'm okay." He slowly unfolded himself as he rose from the ground and stood up.

"We should really pay attention to your triggers." She said.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "LSAT. Trigger to avoid. Got it."

She laughed. "You're such a dork."

He could feel her eyes on him. "Really though. You should get them checked out if they keep up like this. You've had them a lot the past month."

He shrugged. "It's just stress."

"Have you always had them with stress?"

No. He thought.

"Yes," he lied. "It's fine, Jess."

Thanks to Michele, Melissa, Catherine, ShadowHuntingDD, WaitingforAslan, , ayosb200, Dom Darkwolf and Kim for the feedback. You are all awesome. I'm having fun picking up speed now!