Ch 40: Standing Steady on Shifting Sands

After Ron had tucked Hugo into bed that night, he couldn't stop thinking about Hermione alone in her empty house. He tried listening to a quidditch match on the wireless to distract him, but he finally gave up and just went to bed. He just felt like if she was over there alone and crying he wanted to go help her – or at the very least hold her. But, she had been extremely clear that she wanted to be alone tonight. He tried not to be hurt by that, but to just give her the space she said she needed. Instead of second guessing things, he tried to focus on the fact she had told him and Hugo she was planning to move in and stay with them most of the time. While Ron didn't understand why she wanted to keep living between the two homes, he figured some time together had to be better than living in separate homes all of the time. He finally fell into a fitful sleep that night. But, before he knew it, he had woken from his own nightmares and was up trying to catch his breath when he heard Hugo's nightmare screams down the hall.

He held Hugo as he cried. Instead of the regular nightmare of losing his parents and grandparents, Hugo told Ron it had been a new dream that night. This time he lost Rose in the accident too. Once Ron had helped him calm down, he was able to fall back asleep gripping his bear, Simon under one arm and Rose's unicorn under the other.

With Hugo asleep, Ron finally had a moment to reflect on his own nightmare. It had caught him off guard, as he hadn't dreamt of the war in a long time. But in his dream he had been back in the tent, and he was once again possessed by the negativity and self-doubt fed from the locket. But this time it wasn't Harry in the tent with him, it was Hermione. And while he tried to help her solve all of the mysteries of their mission, she was so brilliant and strong that she didn't need him. Instead of helping, he was dragging them down, making her increasingly vulnerable to Voldemort, and so he had abandoned her to face the horcruxes alone. Unable to face sleeping again after that, he wandered down to the kitchen to find the firewhisky.

"Fuck," he said to the empty kitchen as he downed the amber liquid. What was that all about? he wondered as he refilled the glass.

He thought he had worked through the self-doubt and the survivor's guilt after the war. He had been a right mess there for a while. But, through helping the people he loved, through his work as an auror and his anonymous philanthropy, he thought he had reached a contented balance. But that dream caught him off guard. Did he feel like Hermione was too good for him? Well – yes. But, she seemed to choose him anyway, and he absolutely did not doubt her love for him. Was the dream about not having anything to do with himself during the day once Hugo went back to school? Maybe. It could have been from his worrying how he would contribute now that he wasn't going to be an auror. He really wasn't sure what that would look like, or how he could even figure it out. He hadn't thought he was that worried about it, but maybe it bothered him more than he had realized. Or was the dream about his fear of failing Hermione and the kids? Again, he wasn't sure. He wasn't terribly confident in his ability to not screw it up, but he didn't think he would just leave them. Whatever the cause, he was rattled by the dream. He had another glass of the firewhisky, and then stretched out on the sofa instead of trying to go back to sleep in his bed.

Having woken up at 630 as she always did, Hermione was already dressed and drinking her tea when an owl arrived at her kitchen window. Seeing that it was addressed to "Mum, Ron & Hugo," she decided she had to go open it with the boys. So, she was chipper and excited when she stepped through the floo, and was surprised to find Ron asleep on the sofa looking quite rough. She tried to gently touch his forehead to see if he had a fever. But, her touch woke him from his fitful rest.

"Hermione? Are you ok?" he asked in a gravely voice.

"Me? I'm fine. I was worried about you. You look awful. Why are you down here on the sofa?"

"Um – bit of a rough night. What time is it? Why are you here?"

"It's not yet 7. I was having my tea when an owl showed up at the window," she said holding up the envelope. "But it's addressed to all of us, so I brought it over here to open up together."

Ron sat up quickly, eagerly looking at the envelope. "Do we really have to wait for Hugo to wake up?"

"Yes!" Hermione declared laughing at him.

Ron looked slightly defeated as he rubbed his face in his hands. Then he looked up at Hermione carefully, "Are you really ok this morning? I was worried about you last night. I hated the idea of you being sad by yourself and not being able to help you."

Hermione took Ron's hand in her own. "Ron, I am good. Really good. I promise – I just needed to make sure my head was on straight. I didn't even cry. I just needed some time to remember things. But, thank you for worrying about me."

"Ok. I just, well, I love you – I just don't want you to be sad or hurt if there is anything I can do about it."

"Thanks," she said as she kissed his cheek. "Oi, why do you reek of alcohol?"

He sighed. "Both Hugo and I had terrible nightmares last night."

"Both of you? What happened?"

"I don't know. I hadn't had nightmares like that in years. I was awake from my own when he started screaming. And he'd been doing so much better recently. But he dreamt that he lost Rose along with his parents and grandparents. Once I got him back to sleep, I knew I wasn't going to be able to go back to bed. So, I downed a few shots and stretched out here."

"Well, who knew I would be in the best shape of all of us this morning?" Hermione said as she hugged him. "Can I do anything to be helpful?"

He held her to him. "This helps," he said earnestly.

"Was your dream about Rose too?"

"I don't think so, but maybe. It was – well – it was mixed up with you and the war and I am not sure what was driving it. But, it was just a dream, and really you just being here right now is the best thing for it."

She considered his words carefully, but didn't press further on it, only snuggling into him.

They sat together on the couch for a bit, and then Hermione made them both some tea. They had started to make breakfast when Hugo came down the steps.

"Hermione!" he said happily. "Did you end up staying after all?"

"Good morning, Hugo," she said hugging him. "No, I came very early this morning as soon as the owl brought this." She held up the envelope. "But I couldn't open it until we were all together since it is addressed to all three of us."

"Well, come on then, open it – I've been dying to see what house she is in!" declared Ron.

Hermione handed the letter to Hugo, who carefully opened the seal, glanced at it and started to read it aloud in the slow but steady voice of a boy still gaining confidence with his reading. "Dear Mum, Ron and Hugo, I wanted to let you know I am doing really well. The trip up on the train was wonderful and I met several new friends. Arriving here was like walking into a fairy tale, but better. And guess what - I was sorted into Gryffindor! I was so thrilled when the hat announced it. But, guess what? Al was sorted into Slytherin-"

"Ha, ha, very funny, Hugo," scoffed Ron.

Hugo just looked at him. "I'm not kidding, Ron. That's what it says."

"WHAT? Let me see that." He snatched the letter and read it quickly. "Whoa. Albus Severus Potter in Slytherin. I didn't see that coming."

"Ron, give it back so he can keep reading," protested Hermione in a scolding voice. "I want to hear the rest of the letter."

"Sorry. That was bad - on many levels, clearly, by the looks on both of your faces," said Ron sheepishly as he handed it back. "Here, Hugo – keep reading."

"Thanks," Hugo said returning to reading the letter. "Al was sorted into Slytherin. Everyone in the Great Hall gasped. Headmistress McGonagall, Hagrid and Professor Longbottom all looked like they were going to faint for a moment. But, James just stood up and clapped loudly for his brother, so everyone else did too. I got to see him briefly afterwards and he seemed ok – surprised, but ok. I don't have time for a long letter tonight, but I promise to owl again soon. I miss each of very much. Take care of each other for me. I love you all, Rose."

Hermione smiled, "she sounded good."

Ron sat there and didn't say anything. And he didn't seem to notice when both Hugo and Hermione looked at him questioningly.

"Are you ok, Ron?" Hugo asked. "You look weird."

"What? Yeah – of course, sorry. I'm good. I'm just surprised is all. I'm glad Al seemed ok with it, and I am really glad James seems to have handled it so well. Uh, I think I am going to go take a shower and pop over to check on Harry and Gin."

"OK," said Hermione hesitantly. "Do you want to go yourself, or should we and see if they want to come for lunch later?"

"Actually, why don't I floo over real quick and ask them to come," muttered Ron.

"It's barely 7 in the morning, Ron. Are you sure they're up?"

"Not a doubt in my mind," said Ron as he hurriedly stepped into the floo.

When Ron stepped out of the fireplace into Harry's living room, Lily was the first to greet him. "You get first place, Uncle Ron."

"Morning, Lily. What did I get first place for?"

"I was trying to guess what order people what show up once they heard about Al being a snake."

"He's not a snake, Lily. He just got sorted into the house that, well, ok – yeah – he's kind of a snake, but not in a bad way."

"You sound as unconvinced as Mum and Dad."

"Right. Are they in the kitchen?"

"Yup. I'm going to wait here and see who comes in second."

"My money's on George, but let me know," Ron said as he headed into the kitchen. He found Harry and Ginny sitting at the table looking at a stack of letters.

"Whoa, how many owls did you get this morning?" Ron asked.

"I lost track around 15," said Ginny. "Apparently everyone we have ever met and everyone they have ever met all wanted to be sure we heard it from them personally."

"Right," said Ron. "So, how did Al sound? Rose's letter made it sound like he was ok with it, and that James had been amazing."

"Really? What did James do?" asked Harry quietly.

"Rose said that McGonagall, Hagrid and Neville all looked like they were going to faint-"

"Yup. Got those three letters here," interrupted Ginny holding up three parchments.

Ron continued, "and that Al looked really surprised, and the whole hall was silent until James stood up and started clapping loudly for him. Then everyone followed his lead. Rose said she and Al chatted later and that he seemed ok with it once he got over the initial shock."

"Thank Merlin James has his head and his heart on straight," muttered Ginny.

"Well – did the boys say anything different than what we heard from Rose?"

"Not really. James just mentioned it matter-of-factly and seemed to try and hide it between descriptions of the various courses that they had at the feast. Funny actually. It was something like, 'the house elves outdid themselves with the Yorkshire pudding this year. The sorting was interesting with Rose in Gryffindor and Al in Slytherin and then we had really delicious chocolate cake.' Al wrote this long, somewhat heartbreaking letter saying he hoped we weren't disappointed in him, and that he would still try to be brave like the rest of the family even if the sorting hat didn't see it in him."

"Ouch," said Ron.

"I know," said Harry. "I've started to write him back about twenty times already this morning but so far they are all shite."

"What'd Neville say?"

"Not much – just that he was surprised, but that I shouldn't worry, as Slytherin isn't what it was when we were there. He said he actually really likes the Head of House for them – a woman named Sally Sparrow."

"But Sally wasn't a Slytherin," observed Ron.

"How do you know her?"

"Hermione and I met her when I took her to Hogwarts this spring. They hit it off quite well, actually. But Sally was muggle born, went to Ilvermony, and some muggle universities. Can't get much less Slytherin than that."

"Well, true – not to mention delightful," said Ginny, "but none of the other professors at the school were Slytherin, and she apparently has done all kinds of research into the house, so has enjoyed taking it on. I haven't met her really, just seen her from a distance at school events. You said she and Hermione are friends?"

"Yeah – I think so – as much as Hermione has any magical friends. They seem to correspond a lot about books and such a lot. You should talk to her. I am supposed to be over here seeing if you three want to come to lunch later."

"Nah – not really," said Harry. "I have got to come up with a good letter back to Al."

"Yeah you do," said Ron. "But I'll write one too."

"He was just so worried about it only yesterday," said Harry. "But I told him he could tell the hat if it bothered him that much. It's certainly what I did. But, he must have been ok with it enough to not tell the hat he wanted something different."

"Well, I am less worried about him being in Slytherin than I am worried he will feel left out with all of his cousins in Gryffindor."

"Yeah – we will have to rally the troops so to speak," agreed Ron. "But I am sure Neville will help keep that under control."

"You're probably right," agreed Harry.

At that, George waltzed into the kitchen, sitting down next to Ginny. "What, did you finish the firewhisky already?" he joked.

"Piss off George," scoffed Ginny.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, darling. I am just here to make sure that my adorable son is not trying to pull one over on me. But, by the looks on everyone's faces, I would take that as a no. Well, come on – it can't be that much of a shock. You named the poor bloke after Snape after all."

"I don't know why we are all acting so surprised really," said Ginny. "Al has been able to manipulate any situation to his advantage since he was a baby. I don't think it's fair for all of us to have this reaction to the idea of our son being Slytherin, when it should really be about celebrating Al finding the right spot for him."

Chastised, the three men looked down at their laps. Finally, Harry said, "You're right, of course. It's just weird to get my mind away from what it was when we were there. But a house built around the ideas of business negotiations and networking – yeah – that is absolutely the place for Al."

"Right, we'll each make sure our kids are making sure he's not disconnected from the gang of cousins just because he's the only one not in the Gryffindor common room," said George.

"Ok – I'll jot a note off to Rose, and probably one to Neville too," said Ron. "Alright – I'll see you lot at The Burrow tomorrow then?"

They all nodded as Ron headed off into the living room. Just before he stepped into the fireplace, it lit up and Bill stepped out.

"Third place, Uncle Bill!" shouted Lily at a confused Bill.

Ron just laughed and shook as head as he stepped through to head home, "You never could keep up, Bill. I'll see you tomorrow."

When he got back to the house, Hermione met him with a confused look. "Are you alright?"

"Oh yeah, it's just. Well, I can't imagine how crazy this must all look to someone who didn't grow up in the magical England. But, for a long time, the Slytherin house stood for everything Harry – and me for that matter – were fighting against – blood purity, status, wealth and privilege. And it has definitely changed over the years, but the idea that Harry's son is in Slytherin - it is rather shocking and quite a big deal. And, I just wanted to check on him."

"You're right. I don't really get it. It seems like a fraternity or sorority to me. But hardly something to be devastated about."

"Well, no one is devastated. But, it is a big deal. Harry seems a bit shocked, but Ginny thinks - well, we all think Al could do well there. But we are worried he will feel isolated from the rest of the family. But George-"

"George was there too?"

"Yeah – and Bill. George-"

"Wait," Hermione interrupted, "You, George and Bill all showed up at the Potters at 7 in the morning on a Saturday over Al being in Slytherin?"

"No matter how barmy it seems to you, I'm telling you this is a big deal."

"Ok. I guess I'm starting to catch on. Sorry – do continue…."

"Anyway, Al wrote this heartbreaking letter to Harry more or less apologizing for not being brave enough for the hat to sort him into Gryffindor, which is awful of course. And then he went on to say he hoped Harry wasn't disappointed and that he would still try to be brave. So, Harry is trying to figure out how to help him understand he's ok with it all. And, they had been overwhelmed with owls this morning – Ginny said she lost track at 15 letters from everyone and their brother about it."

"That is awful. But, is Harry really ok with it?"

"Yes. We are all ok with it. It's just a shock. I just needed to check on both of them and more or less let them know I get it. They said they weren't really up for lunch today. But, we'll see everyone tomorrow."

"OK. Well, then I guess we have the day free ahead of us."

"I know what we should do," said Hugo, who had been observing the conversation from the kitchen table.

"What?" asked Ron.

"We need to move some of Hermione's things over so it feels like her home too."

Ron just looked over at Hermione and didn't say a word.

Hermione smiled. "I had asked Hugo if he would be ok if I moved some things over to make it feel like my home. And he very kindly said he was fine with that as long as we left Dennis and Fiona's bedroom and office as they are now."

"Really?" Ron said looking between Hugo and Hermione.

"Really," nodded Hugo. "As long as those two rooms are left the same, I think it would be fine – maybe even fun – to make it feel like the home for our whole family now. Everyone deserves to feel at home when we are all here together."

"Wow, Hugo. That is really great. And really wonderful of you to say all of that," Ron observed.

The three of them spent the day brainstorming about the house, rearranging things and moving some items over. Hermione was insistent that they leave most of her home as is so Rose would recognize it when she came home. But, all three seemed rather giddy about the idea of changing things up a bit. They moved some furniture around and painted a few walls with Ron's home renovation charms. Hermione was careful not to remove any pictures or sentimental items that had belonged to Dennis and Fiona. But, she simply added in photos from her home, as well as some of the pictures she remembered Ron had brought over from his house. They hung up some pictures from the Mallorca trip of the four of them, which made each of them smile. Hermione also brought over her favorite mugs, several boxes of books, some clothes and basic things like toiletries. By evening, the three of them were collapsed on the sofa, worn out from their work.

"Please tell me after all of that work you are staying here tonight Hermione," said Hugo.

Hermione laughed. "Yes, dear. I will stay here tonight. I still think I am going to need to pop back there sometimes for some peace and quiet, or maybe some girl time away from you boys. And I don't want you two to get anxious or read into things if I spend the night back over there. But, yes, I am here."

Ron grinned madly, and turned to kiss her on the cheek.

After they'd had dinner, Hermione busied herself in the kitchen while Ron and Hugo read together on the sofa. She wanted them to keep their special time together each evening. While she hoped she could read some with Hugo some other time, she didn't want to encroach on their pre-bed ritual. But she did ask if she could help tuck him in to bed.

Hugo was snuggled into his bed, holding his bear and his unicorn tightly. "I'm sorry if my nightmares wake you up, Hermione. I don't have them every night anymore. But, I did have one last night."

"Well, I think we were all just adjusting to Rose being gone. But I am hoping you won't have them tonight," she said as she kissed his cheek.

"Me too."

Once Hugo had fallen asleep, Hermione came back down into the kitchen. Ron hugged Hermione tightly. "I am so, so glad you are here."

"I'm glad I'm here too, Ron. I don't really know what to expect from all of this. So, we will definitely have to learn to be patient with one another."

"You make it sound like we hardly know each other."

"Well, the only times we've really stayed together – aside from that first week on spring break – were vacation and after you were hurt. So, we don't have any experience at just living our regular lives together."

"Fair. But I think we are up for it."

"Obviously I do too or I wouldn't be here. But, it will take time. Moving all the things in today helped. But this doesn't feel like my home yet. It's weird, but it will grow in time I think. Or I hope anyway."

A bit later when Ron came into the bedroom and found Hermione already in bed reading, he leaned against the doorframe to smile at the sight for a moment before she looked up and saw him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"I am wonderful," he said as he got into bed. "You're reading in our bed. It's perfect."

"I worried you would think it rather not sexy."

"Hermione, I am not sure how to get it into your head that I think pretty much everything you do is sexy."

She laughed. "You think me reading Modern Interpretations of Medieval Goblin Society is sexy?"

"That cannot possibly be the real title of that book."

"See for yourself," she chuckled as she handed over the book to an amused Ron. "Sorry if that takes the sexy down a notch. But, you, my dear, happened to fall in love with a book loving, history consuming, knowledge seeking witch."

Ron laughed as he moved the book to the nightstand. As he flicked off the light with his wand, he engulfed her in his arms. "I guess I have a thing for book loving witches. Well, one particular book loving, ginger loving, brilliant witch anyway."

"Well, yes, I definitely have a thing for amazing ginger wizards," she said as she kissed him.

He quickly deepened the kiss, and she responded sensually. Knowing they now had time to savor, there was no frenzied rush. They took their time with each other, slowly lingering over necks, collarbones, nipples and lips. They made love slowly, intimately maintaining eye contact as they brought each other to release. The night wasn't simply about pleasuring the other one; it was about promising to be there for the other and knowing they would be together from then on.