Doomed.
Dan woke up feeling empty.
He felt a hand gripping his, he felt electricity run through his hand and up through his whole body.
Suddne panic start to rise.
Someone was pulling his hand!
Someone is holding me!
Someone's hands are on my body!
NO!
PLEASE NO!
Not again…
Please…
Dan start to sob, his body freezing.
His air was cut off, his lungs starting to burn and scream.
He felt flames lick their way up from his lungs to his throth.
Please…
Please, no…
Please stop…
Please…
Not again…
Please…
Dan was begging with his mouth clothes and no words or sounds coming out, just the tears streaming down his face.
Dan wanted to fight, to run.
But his hands was gripped even tighter.
He start to feel dizzy from not being able to breath.
Please…
A big splash of water was thrown over his face making him yelp straight up, sucking in so needed breath and opening his eyes.
He saw Phil standing in front of him, all pale with an empty glass in his hand.
Dan felt so confused of what was happening.
He tried to make his brain work but they was like wrapped in fog.
Dan slowly slid back into all the soft pillows, shivering.
Phil put down his glass and put a blanket back over Dan, making sure not to touch him.
Dan catch big fear in Phil's eyes.
He knew, he felt that it was something important, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.
He close his eyes sinking deeper into all the pillows, hiding his body completely, slowly letting sleep taking over his body and his cloudy mind.
It have already been almost 20 hours since Dan fell asleep.
Phil checked every 20 minutes if he was still breathing.
He even called a friend who was dating a nurse to ask what he should do in situation like this.
He knew that it can be hard, but he never saw anything like this coming.
Fuck, Dan almost fell of the balcony!
He would be dead straight away.
Phil was angry at himself.
About not watching over Dan better, about not knowing more about bipolar disorder, about not being ready for this, about being scared.
He was so angry.
But he tried his best to stay calm for Dan.
First couple hours Phil was holding Dan's hands in his, because Dan have let him and because he felt safer that way, but after seeing Dan freaking out and turning blue of not breathing, Phil didn't dare to touch him, not even a bit.
He sit couple feet away, watching over him.
Next couple hours after the incident, Dan's breathing was so uneven that it scared Phil, but now past 3 hours it have got back to normal.
Phil felt a bit sleepy, it was already 1 am.
But Phil kept his eyes open, watching over Dan.
Phil felt so useless.
It hurt him that there was no way how he could help Dan right now.
Phil sit there trying to stay calm, it was hard.
Dan moving catch Phil's attention making him sit up straighter.
Dan turned on his back, stretching out a bit, his shirt rolling up revealing his hip bones that was out of his boxers.
Phil was freeze for a moment, his eyes slidding over Dan's body.
Dan looked so peace full, so cute…
Phil knew if this would happen in any other circumstance he would snap a quick photo of sleeping Dan.
Phil shake his head and slowly got up to put the blanket back over Dan's body, he didn't want Dan to be cold and get sick.
But before he got a chance, Dan moved again.
He start stretching even more, then putting one arm over his face sliding back into peace.
Phil stand for a moment watching Dan to make sure that he was fully asleep again before he slowly put a blanket over Dan's body, carefully not to touch him with his hands.
Phil watched Dan a moment longer before walking to the kitchen to get one more cup of coffee to keep him awake.
Phil tried everything, drinking coffee, scrolling through social media, playing games in his phone, even drinking energy drink but no matter what he did, his eyes was starting to shut, his body demanding for sleep.
Phil fight hard not to fall asleep, he needed, he wanted to watch over Dan to make sure that he was okay.
But soon Phil's eyes closed and his body was sliping into sleep with Dan on his mind.
Dan woke up by the sun shining in his eyes, making everything bright red.
He groaned turning away and opening his eyes to see Phil sleeping in armchair couple feets away from Dan.
Dan felt confused.
He slowly sit up looking around to understand where they even were.
Living room.
But why was they sleeping in the living room?
And why Phil was sleeping in an armchair?
Dan felt even more confused.
He shake his head stretching out a bit before standing up and making his way to the bathroom.
Dan actually felt rested.
He decide to take a shower while Phil was still sleeping.
It took him a bit longer than usual because now he was actually starting to enjoy showers.
When Dan got out he dry his body putting on clean clothes and sitting down to get done with his itching wrist.
It was already healing pretty well, couple more days, maybe a week and it will be just a dark scar and nothing more.
Dan stand back up looking into a mirror.
Dark circles under his eyes have start to fade away making him feel a bit younger than he was used to see himself.
But he didn't mind that.
Circles fading away just ment that Dan was starting to get better.
Dan slowly made his way to his room, sitting down and checking his phone.
It was already Monday.
Monday?
Wait… where did Sunday go?
Dan felt confused once more before checking the calendar to make sure that he wasn't messing something up.
Nop, it really is Monday… Weird…
Wait! It's Monday!
Dan fall back into his bed looking up the ceiling.
Monday was that day.
That day when Dan get his replay from the law university.
Dan felt sad right away.
If he is accepted, that mean that he will need to start uni in next week, his parents making sure to get him start a summer course so he could start getting his so important degree faster.
Dan hated even thinking about it.
He didn't even want to study there, he didn't have any interest in law.
Ugh…
Dan force himself to get up and go down to actually check the mail for his letter.
He send the address to the uni just in case.
Dan felt so relieved that he didn't met anyone on his way.
There it was, the letter.
Dan walked back up, looking at the letter like he could change what's inside just by staring at it.
Dan put down all the other mail and walked back to his room, glancing at still sleeping Phil on his way.
He sit down on the bed, taking couple deep breaths to calm down.
He slowly opened the letter and start reading.
Fuck…
Dan was staring at the letter without knowing how to react.
He should be happy.
He should feel relieved.
But he didn't.
He have got into the University.
His results was too good for them not to accept him.
Dan let his head fall into his hands.
He still didn't know how to react.
I really don't feel any joy about this…
I don't want to go…
Why do I need to go there?
Dan felt the tears start to stream down his face.
He just didn't want to go there.
It was not for him.
But he couldn't do anything about it.
He needed to go.
He needed to leave Phil.
He felt sharp pain in his chest from just thinking about it.
Dan understand that he was fallen deeper than he was before and to be honest, he didn't know if there is a way back this time.
So he just let the tears stream down his face, making his vision blurry, blurring out the letter Dan wished he have never received.
