(A/N - I feel like I need to apologize as I have gotten many notes about how sad people were with I've put these guys through! I love that everyone is so engaged with their experiences. All I can say is please trust me and stick with me...but thanks again for sticking with me this far. Like I said at the beginning - short and succinct this is not! As always - I appreciate you reading this and love it when you leave a review. Thanks again...carrytheotter)
Ch 79: Homecoming
It had been four days since she had last slept in her own bed, and Hermione was desperate to get home, take a shower and crawl beneath her own covers without nurses and healers and well-meaning but poorly timed visitors popping in. Rose and Hugo had been by every day, and they had decided Rose would stay until Monday morning when she could floo back to Hogwarts before classes started for the week. Hermione had found herself reacting to the kids' visits each day in one of two extreme ways. She would either feel the need to cling to them and not want them to leave for hours, or on other days just the site of them somehow crushed her with grief and guilt for the child she would never meet. On those days Ron had been clever enough to read her mood and take the kids out for a made up errand, leaving her to mourn in private. And while she was excited to go home, she was nervous about how she would react around the children, as she had been so far unable to predict her moods. The last thing she wanted to do was make them feel hurt or unwelcomed, but it was hard. The sudden hormonal changes weren't helping things either.
Bless Ron's heart, she thought. Wasn't too long ago he was a rugged bachelor, but now he was having to talk to her mum and the healers about ovaries and fallopian tubes and pads. She chuckled to herself thinking of how red tipped his ears must have been and how his eyes must have been studying the laces of his trainers, avoiding eye contact at all cost as the others spoke around him. Looking at the clock, she wondered where he was as he had planned to come by the hospital after taking Hugo to school that morning. The healer would be by later in the morning and hopefully say she was free to go home, and she really wanted Ron there for the visit. She knew he would never listen to her say it was ok for her to be up and about, but there was a chance he'd listen to the healer. Or at least she hoped so.
She had forced herself to get up and sit in the reclining chair next to the bed that morning. She had been up and eaten her breakfast. She had asked the nurse to help her get dressed in her favorite old quidditch shirt of Ron's and the soft cotton trousers he had brought for her. After finishing her tea and toast, she tried to convince herself to read some of the book Sally Sparrow had sent her on the evolution of the role of house elves in magical society, but soon even those words were swimming on the page, and she had nodded off sitting in the recliner, her book sprawled across her lap.
Ron dropped Hugo at school and left Rose with her grandmother to continue readying the house for what they hoped would be Hermione's homecoming later that day. From there he headed to St. Mungo's to check on his wife. He missed having her home, but he was very nervous he wouldn't be good enough at caring for her if the healers did allow her to come home that afternoon. Walking down the stark white hallway, Ron knew he may miss the help of the staff, but he wouldn't miss the sounds, smells or food of the hospital at all. He knocked gently at the door as he opened it, but smiled as he walked through to discover his wife snoring soundly as she was propped up in the recliner wearing his old quidditch kit. I know I never looked that amazing in it, he thought. He picked up the book in her lap, taking care to mark her place so she wouldn't fuss at him later. Glancing at the cover of the book he chuckled to himself, that would put me right to sleep too. Not wanting to leave, but not wanting to wake her, he quietly sat on the other chair in the room and opened the bag he had brought. While it was mainly to bring home Hermione's things, he had brought some paperwork from the shop that he was behind on. So, he settled in to read supplier agreements and distribution contracts while his wife continued to rest.
Hermione awoke to find her favorite blue eyes watching her.
"Morning," he said with a crooked smile. "I didn't want to wake you. How are you feeling today?"
"Hi -how long was I asleep?"
"Not sure," he said putting his papers down as he walked over to kiss her hello. "I've been here about two hours, and you were asleep when I arrived. I was actually going to wake you up shortly as I knew you would want to be awake before the healer arrived."
"Yes. Thank you. I would have been a bit embarrassed if I had still been asleep."
"No need to be embarrassed. We all want you to get better and proper rest is the best way to get there."
"I know," she sighed. "And that is right and logical and exactly what I would say if I wasn't the patient. But I have never been very good at sitting still."
"I know," he said. "Think of rest as something on your to do list. Maybe that will help," he grinned.
"Hah Hah. Actually – the top thing on my to do list right now is to use the loo. Can you help me up?"
"What?" asked Ron anxiously. "Wouldn't it be better if I fetched the nurse?"
"No, Ron. I want to go home, and if that's going to happen you have to help me. I love our mums, but I don't want to go stay with them. I want to go home. I know this is yucky and not sexy and horribly unromantic, but I really want and need your help."
"Hermione," he said softly. "You know that's not why I balked, right? I'm just scared of doing the wrong thing and hurting you somehow."
She gave him a kind smile. "You could never hurt me, Ron. Here, just help me stand for a moment. My stomach muscles hurt when I try to stand, but if you help support me under my armpits I think we can do it."
"You sure?"
"Very. Come on. Let's give it a go."
He nervously stood in front of her and supported her like she directed, and soon he had lifted her to a standing position. Hermione grimaced as she stood up.
"Bugger," he cursed. "Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry," he fretted.
"No, Ron. It wasn't you. Actually that was probably better than with any of the nurses because you're taller and gentler. It just hurts to stretch these muscles out when I stand up straight," she said, hands clutched tightly to her lower abdomen as she hunched over slightly. "But I know it's the only way to get better. And I have GOT to use the loo. I am pretty sure I can shuffle over there, but just walk next to me as a precaution, alright?"
He nodded nervously as she gingerly took steps across the room. He helped her towards the toilet and then stood uncomfortably, not knowing quite what he should do.
"Sorry," she apologized. "Um, I think I can sit down alright, but I will probably need help getting back up. Can I just call you in a minute?"
"Yeah, yeah, of course," he said awkwardly. "I'll just give you a mo'."
With that he stepped out to give her some privacy and she gingerly held onto the sink and grab bar as she sat on the toilet. Shaking her head at how much she hated Ron having to see her this way, she wondered if she might be able to get back up again without his help. Or at least pull her knickers up on her own. A few minutes later she had discovered that she most certainly could not do either without help. She covered her face in embarrassment trying to figure out how to handle it when she heard him outside the door.
"Don't want to pester, but just wanted to check on you. You need anything?"
"Actually, yes," she sighed.
"May I come in?"
"Of course, sorry," she mumbled, face still hidden behind her hand and tears starting to stream down her cheek.
"Hey, hey, what's wrong, why are you crying?" he asked as he squatted alongside her in order to be at eye level. "Does something hurt? Do I need to get the nurse?"
"No," she said as tears started to fall. "I'm just so embarrassed and frustrated and tired of it all. I can't even bend all the way over to pull up my own knickers! This is absurd. How are you ever going to see me in the same way after all this?" she said with sob.
"Hermione," Ron said gently as he moved to his knees and softly cupped her cheek. "Please don't cry. I'm shite when you cry. And here, there is nothing to be embarrassed about," he said as he gently helped her pull up her knickers and trousers. "And I can assure you that while in general I do prefer taking your knickers off of you instead of putting them back on, if anything this whole experience has only made me love you more, you daft witch."
"You're just saying that," she said with closed eyes as she shook her head.
"No. No I'm not," he assured. "Here, let's stand you up." He helped her up as she had shown him before, and soon she was leaning on the sink with him supporting her from behind. "Now, a damp flannel solves so many problems," he added as he flushed the toilet and wet a flannel for her to use on her face. She didn't say anything as he ran a wide toothed comb through her hair. Her eyes simply watched him gratefully as he pulled her curls back into a hair band. "Oh! I know what's missing," he said as he flicked his wand, summoning his bag wordlessly. Before she knew it, Ron had pulled some muggle pens from his bag and stuck three into Hermione's hair. "There. Now do you feel more like yourself?"
She laughed out loud, grabbing her stomach as it moved from her giggles. "I love you, Ron Weasley," she said as she turned to kiss his cheek.
"Good. I'm glad to hear it's not just a one way thing seeing as we're married and all," he said moving to her lips in a much less chaste manner. As he deepened the kiss and heard her moan slightly, he pulled back. "Now, I hope that has put a stop to all that rubbish about me not still thinking you are the most amazing, most brilliant and by far the sexiest witch I've ever met. I love you. And I love that you trust me to help you. And as soon as your body is up for shagging again, I promise you I will show you in every way you can imagine – and maybe some you haven't yet imagined, how fit I think you are and how you make my body feel things no one else ever has." She blushed at this as he exhaled slowly to calm himself. "But until then, I'll help you pull up your knickers or fetch hankies or help you in the shower or anything else you need. We said we would love each other and let ourselves be loved with our bodies through everything, right?"
She nodded meekly, her face slightly buried into his shoulder.
"Well, this is part of that. And it's easier to be the caregiver than the receiver sometimes. In the long run we'll each have turns at both. But for now, it's my turn to take care of you," he said earnestly. "And if that means I have to shower naked with the most fit witch I know every day, then that's a sacrifice I'll just have to make," he added cheekily.
This made her chuckle again, and she leaned up to kiss him once more.
They made their way back out to the main hospital room, and she had just gotten settled in the chair when the healer came in. After a few minutes of conversation, the plan was set and Hermione was to be discharged home. The healer carefully reviewed the schedule of potions she was still to take, writing everything down so he wouldn't forget, and they would be back to see the healer in a week or call sooner if need be. No apparition for now, but they could floo home. Soon they were all packed up and standing in front of the floo ready to go.
"Want to go through first?" Ron asked.
"No," she admitted. "I don't want to get there and have Rose or my mum come tackle me with hugs. Do you think you could go first and be just in front of the fireplace to steady me as I come through as well as keep them back a bit?"
"Of course, love."
"And, well, I know they both are going to want to hover a bit, and I know I should visit with them, but all I want to do is take a shower and crawl into bed and be alone for a bit."
"I can make that happen. If not by persuasion then by magic," he teased. "I promise. I'll hold off the hounds."
"Thank you."
"Ok – I'll step through first and you come a minute later."
Hermione had a nurse help her into the floo, and soon she was stepping through into her living room. She started to stumble and was caught quickly by Ron. True to his word, he made her mum and daughter stand back behind the couch to give her some room.
"Welcome home, Mum!" said Rose earnestly. "How are you feeling?"
"Well, I have been better, but I have definitely been worse too. I think a shower and some time sleeping in my own bed should help."
"Can I help you get upstairs darling?" asked her mum.
"No thanks, Jean," Ron cut in. "The nurse showed me exactly how to help Hermione on stairs as well getting in and out of the shower and what to do to help keep the wounds clean and dry."
"Yeah," said Hermione appreciatively. "I appreciate it, Mum. I really do. But I think Ron's the best one to help me at the moment. But after a shower and some rest I would love to visit or something."
Jean nodded, failing to completely hide her disappointment. Noting this, Ron cut in again.
"But Jean," he said. "Hermione will kill me for saying this, but at the hospital she was saying how much she was craving that Italian wedding soup you make. Maybe you and Rose can make some this afternoon and then she can have it for supper."
"Ron," she played along in a nagging voice, "I told you not to mention that. I don't want everyone to make a fuss."
"Don't be ridiculous, Mum. We'd love to do that, and we'll make some of that fresh bread you love too," Rose piped in happily.
"Thanks, you two," Hermione smiled.
Once up the stairs she pecked Ron's cheek. "Bloody brilliant bloke I married."
"And don't you forget it," he grinned.
"Not only that, but now Mum's making your favorite soup for dinner."
"Precisely. Everyone wins," he beamed. "Speaking of everyone wins, let's get naked and get you in the shower."
She laughed and shook her head, but let herself be led slowly to the loo.
A little while later she was finally alone and in her own bed, propped up just enough so that her abdomen didn't hurt. She breathed in the wonderful smell of clean sheets and her favorite scent of all – the smell of Ron that lingered in the bedroom even when he wasn't there. She could lay there and see the leaves changing colors outside and hear only the muffled sounds of the people she loved downstairs. This time she didn't even pretend to read, but instead closed her eyes and fell fast asleep.
Later that night after she'd enjoyed the homemade soup and fresh bread, her Mum went home leaving the family of four together again. Ron could tell that Hermione was in a mood to keep her kids close, but was getting worn out from trying to be alert and talk with everyone.
"What if I get your mum upstairs and settled in bed, and then you two come in once you're both ready for bed and we can all read together as a family for a while?" Ron suggested.
The kids squealed and ran off, and Hermione smiled and simply said, "Perfect."
Soon she found herself propped up on pillows with a lovely pillow barrier on each side so she didn't get accidentally bumped by the kids, but so that they could still snuggle up to her. As she lay there holding Hugo's hand on her left and stroking Rose's hair on her right, she was very much at peace. She could tell Ron noticed her glassy eyes, but he smiled gently, nodded and began to read from his spot in a chair at the foot of the bed, his long legs stretched out and resting on top of the old quilt from his mum. She closed her eyes as he started reading the beginning of To Kill A Mockingbird aloud, allowing herself to feel content for the first time since her world had been turned upside down.
