A/N: This chapter is not as long as I usually make them but I had this part completed and wanted to give you something to read. I'll be working on Chapter 15 in the next few weeks so stay tuned!
Chapter 14
He wasn't letting up and he wasn't going away. The incessant banging continued for twenty minutes while I sat inside the bathroom, fearful of what would happen if I opened the door. "Open up, Bella! Don't do this to me," he repeated over and over. Edward pleaded for me to talk to him; to give him a chance. Hadn't I already done that? Hadn't I taken the biggest risk of my life when I first invited him to this very same hotel two months earlier? Now I was alone, curled up on cold ceramic tile in tears, hiding from a man I loved but who was too emotionally damaged to really love me back.
After a few minutes of silence his begging started up again. "Please, Bella. You can't hide in there forever. I don't want to have a conversation about us through the door, but I'll do it if you leave me no other choice."
Bang. Bang. Bang. I pressed my head against my knees. I was still naked and wished there was something, anything, in the bathroom I could use to cover myself.
"You were right when you said you owned me," he said with desperation in his voice. "I know you think you have to share me but you don't anymore. I want to be yours, Bella. I need you more than anything else in my life because it's all meaningless without you. I realize that now."
"Go away, Edward!" I yelled.
"Never. I'm going to prove to you how serious I am. When you ran from my apartment that morning I felt this tightening in my chest at the thought of never seeing you again. I didn't understand my reaction at first, but I get it now. I love you and I'm not letting you run away this time. You have to talk this out with me. I'm different. You're changing me."
I shook my head, refusing to believe him. "I wish that could be true, but you just told me you fucked other women in the time we've been apart. That doesn't sound like much has changed, Edward," I said sniffling.
"It didn't feel the same. All I could think of was you and I knew that I couldn't survive without serving you. I meant it when I said I want you to own me. How can I make you believe me?"
"You have a sexual addiction that runs so deep I don't think you know its true depths. And I don't care if you do love me; I can't go on like this!"
Edward didn't respond and I noticed the shadows of his feet were missing from underneath the door. I didn't know where he went and feared that maybe he was planning to break down the hotel bathroom door. I stood up and backed away from it just in case. I watched the slit at the bottom of the door and a minute or two later his shadowy feet reappeared.
Edward pushed a silver key under the door and it slid right to where I was standing. "What is this?" I called out loudly. It was too small to be a key to a house or any other door. It looked like... "Is this the handcuff key?" I asked.
I was suddenly alarmed that he had been rifling through the bag of sex toys that I'd brought for our scene. There were many things in there I didn't want him to know I had! My anger swiftly shifted to embarrassment.
"It's not the key to the handcuffs. But it does belong to you," Edward replied in a softer tone. "Just as I do."
"What key is it then?" I asked confused.
"Come out and see for yourself. I found a way to prove my total commitment to you," he replied confidently and calmer than before.
Fearing that he was still snooping through my belongings, or worse, had handcuffed himself to some part of the hotel room, I summoned up the courage to open the door. Slowly, I twisted the knob and stepped out into the main room. Again I wished I had my clothes, but immediately I noticed Edward was still naked too. He was standing there waiting for me with relief evident on his face.
I looked around confused when I saw no evidence of handcuffs anywhere. He hadn't cuffed his hands behind his back, or attached himself to the bed or radiator as I had imagined. There was now a determined and expectant look on his face as he waited for me to figure out his plan.
As I finally realized what he had done, I covered my mouth with my hand and shrieked in surprise. The key he passed underneath the bathroom door had not been to the handcuffs at all. Edward had been snooping in my toy bag, just as I suspected, and he found the chastity cage I'd impulsively bought over a month ago. And he was wearing it!
"My God, Edward! Why are you wearing that?"
Edward's penis was encased from root to tip in the clear plastic cage. The plastic ring was secured around his scrotum and at the top I saw the little silver padlock was closed. It looked as uncomfortable and medieval as I had thought the first time I saw it online.
"I found it in your bag and knew it was meant for me. As long as you hold the key to the cock cage you'll know that I belong to you and only you," he explained.
"Please take it off," I said handing him the key.
He refused to take it from me. "No, you own me. I'm proving that to you," he insisted.
"You got me out here. I'm willing to talk, okay? But you have to take that off," I pleaded, still sniffling.
"It feels good belonging to you," he mused.
"Does it even fit? I was guessing with the measurements when I bought it for you."
"I've actually never worn one before. It's snug but doesn't hurt. I can't get an erection."
"Well, that is the main purpose of those things. Now please take it off and we'll talk."
"I want to keep it on if you don't mind. I want to see how it feels the longer it's on."
He obviously wasn't going to give in. I understood that for someone like Edward, there was no more serious a commitment to be making than surrendering sexual pleasure. This was important to him. I sighed in defeat and crossed the room to find my clothing. I had just gotten my bra and panties on when Edward's hand brushed my forearm. "No shirt or pants. I want to feel your skin against mine."
He towed me over to the bed and we laid down facing each other. I didn't know what to say and was thankful when he started the conversation.
"First, I want to apologize for not obeying you during our scene. I should have never done that; topped from the bottom. That's like submission 101 and I failed you. I just had these hopes that when I came here tonight I'd be able to tell you how much it meant to me to be getting a second chance. And when you shut down all discussion; it felt like the words were burning my throat. I had to tell you what I was feeling. But I am sorry about the way I did it."
"I'm sorry too, for freaking out the way I did. Not just tonight but at your apartment. It's not easy realizing you're falling for a sex addicted gigolo, you know? You routinely put yourself at risk; spreading yourself around with so many other women and I couldn't stop you. Finally I just had to walk away; Jasper finding out about us was more than I could handle."
"Bella," he began, but I wasn't done.
"Being away from you made me more miserable than I was before, so when you asked to see me I caved. But I told myself I had to be harsher towards you; make it clear that I held the power and we were nothing but sexual partners. Then you hijacked my scene and I felt like I had lost the last little bit of control I had. I panicked but I shouldn't have run away. Again."
I placed my hand on his hip and softly rubbed up and down his side, needing to feel physically connected to him. "I'm sorry about breaking free from my restraints and taking control like that. I could hardly control myself; I just needed you so badly," he confessed.
"It felt terrible and amazing at the same time. It was like you were making love to me."
"I was, Bella. Because I'm in love with you," he stated simply as if he'd already said it to me a hundred times before.
I shook my head. "How do you know what you're feeling is real? And what does it mean for us if you're right?"
Edward reached out and took my hand in his. "It means my need for you is greater than any other hunger I feel. You're the most important person to me and I would do anything to make you happy."
I placed our clasped hands against my chest and kissed his fingers. His eyes closed and he nuzzled in closer to me. I thought about all the times Edward had asked to hold me or spend the night in my bed. Our feelings for one another had been growing for some time and I'd refused to let myself believe it.
"I love you," I mumbled under my breath.
Edward smiled sheepishly. "I know you do. You wouldn't have reacted so strongly tonight when I told you how I felt if you didn't feel the same. But thank you for admitting it to me."
"I'm admitting it to myself too. You've torn down all the walls I've built around myself."
"You don't need to protect yourself from me anymore," he promised, leaning forward to kiss my lips.
I kissed him back and cuddled closer against his chest. I didn't know how far Edward would go in his promise to keep me happy, but I was excited to explore this new direction of our relationship. My heart swelled knowing that I wasn't going to have to live without this man. I felt like he was earnest in his desire to change, though I'd have to wait and see how drastically he was willing to change his life for me.
Edward's mouth covered mine and his hand began to caress my breast. It felt amazing, but I needed to tell him to stop because there was more for us to discuss. I was still apprehensive about giving him another chance and trusting all he had promised me. Conveniently, something else interrupted our kissing before I had a chance to do it. Edward suddenly groaned and fell back against the mattress as if in pain.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"My fucking cock wants to get hard but it can't," he moaned.
I giggled in response, but shifted myself lower to carefully inspect his condition. My fingers fluttered gently over Edward's penis, encased in the hard clear plastic that had air holes in several places and at the tip for ventilation and urination. From my research I knew he could feel intense arousal while wearing it but not achieve an erection or ejaculation. In other words, the worst possible torture for a man like Edward, who literally spent half his waking hours with a hard on.
"It's surprising to me how hot it makes me to see you wearing this thing for me," I told him honestly.
"Really? This turns you on?" he wondered.
"Most definitely. I've never felt so in control of you as I do right now."
"It's going to take some getting used to," he admitted.
I looked at him with curiosity. "How long do you plan to keep it on, Edward?"
"Whenever we're apart until you trust me. When I'm at work or out with Alice, you'll know that I'm still yours."
"You can't seriously tell me you're going to keep that thing on for days?" I retorted. "And what do you mean by work?"
Edward looked at me cautiously. "I won't moonlight for Emmett any longer. I promise. But I need to keep my job as an escort. The clean, legitimate MMM escorting."
"That's why you want the cage. Because you're not quitting your job," I said; a hint of anger present in my tone.
"I know you think I have family connections, but Bella I cannot work for my uncle. That would be hell on Earth for me. What Alice told you was true, my uncle Carlisle supports us in many ways, but I still need money to pay for groceries, utilities, clothes, and other things."
I didn't like hearing that Edward was unwilling to quit MMM completely, but I knew deep down that it would be unfair of me to ask him to break all ties with his former life just to ease my jealous nature. It came down to trust and I would either be able to trust him as time went on or I wouldn't.
"I'm going to be taking the Man in Chair painting down to the gallery for sale in a few days. As my muse you're entitled to a percentage," I said hopeful that a cut of my profits would influence his decision about working.
"That's generous of you, but I doubt one painting will keep me afloat for very long," he said kindly.
"I suppose not, but you never know how much someone is willing to pay until the portrait goes to gallery. It could definitely buy you some time. And I could always paint you again," I offered.
"I did enjoy sitting for you," Edward replied, the corners of his mouth turning up.
I smiled too. "In the meantime, you're willing to wear the cage on all of your dates?"
"Yes. Will that make you feel better; to know for certain that I'm not fucking anyone but you?"
"You can't make out with them or give them oral sex either," I added.
Edward smirked. "You have my word."
He may have been sincerely promising his word, but I still had to be cautious to believe him. "The question is how much is your word worth, Edward? I worry you have an addiction that may make it impossible for you to keep this promise you're making. How many drunks have promised to never taste alcohol again only to fall off the wagon unintentionally?"
"I know I have a problem with sex, Bella. I'm willing to do anything to keep you; including wearing a chastity cage. I'd say I'm pretty damn committed to keeping my word."
I smirked and grazed my hand along his caged dick. "I kind of love knowing that not only can't you fuck anyone else; but that as long as I hold the key I also control your every erection."
"Do you remember how I once told you that your dominance frightens me?" he asked.
"Yes, the first night we were here in the hotel. But you also said it excited you, not knowing what was going to happen next."
Edward smiled sheepishly. "This cock cage is that fear mixed with excitement times a thousand. I'm putting myself completely in your hands; and trusting you implicitly with the hope that you'll soon trust me too."
"I know agreeing to this is a huge step for you, and you're literally placing your cock in my control. I want you to know I'm not going to be harsh with the caging. This isn't punishment."
"Maybe this will help calm my urges. I want to focus all my sexual energy on you as my girlfriend and my mistress."
I laughed. "Do you think I'm even ready to manage a dual relationship like that?" I asked honestly.
"I know it's what you want. What you've been searching for since you left Jasper. I want to be that man for you. I just feel like I'm giving up part of my identity. Pretty soon I won't be able to recognize myself."
"It's a scary thought, isn't it? I felt that way when I first started playing with you; like I didn't even recognize myself. But it got easier to accept the person I was becoming."
Edward glanced over at the clock and saw it was almost midnight. "We have this hotel room all night. Do you want to play again?"
"Do you think that's smart after everything that's happened tonight?" I wondered.
Edward sat up and cupped my cheek in his hand. "Instead of playing, maybe we could make love again?"
I bit my lip and looked away from him. I'd been incapable of enjoying vanilla sex for years and worried it wouldn't be any better with Edward than it had been with Jasper. "We can fuck without it being a scene, but I don't think missionary sex is going to do it for me," I warned.
"We can do it any way you want, Bella. I just need to be inside you again."
I smiled at him and held up the cage key. "If I release you, I expect you will follow my instructions with the same concentration you've shown me in the past. No more slip ups. You be my good little boy and you will get to come. Understand?"
"Yes, Mistress," he choked out with difficulty.
"Wishing you could get hard right now?" I guessed.
Edward nodded his head as his eyes shut tightly. I grazed his inner thighs teasingly with my fingers and he let out another sound of pain. "Try to relax," I coaxed as my hands pushed him back against the mattress and kissed my way down from his neck to his groin. More painful moaning followed as I slowly inserted the small silver key into the lock. "You'll see; I'm going to make this be worth the wait."
