A/N: Lookie here, posting like right after midnight! Yeah, I've gotta socialize for hours, so I figured I'd post this now rather than like 10pm. I've been waiting to reveal this headcanon, I hope you guys enjoy!
Loki leaned on the back of Peter's chair as they dropped towards Wakanda, sunlit fields sprawling below them, people and animals hardly more than dots. They hit a shield, the capital city spreading out before them as they crossed it. Peter aimed the Milano at a landing area beside the building Loki guessed to be the palace. A group of people awaited them here, too.
"You ready?" Peter asked, powering the ship down.
Loki looked at the awaiting entourage, recognizing his brother despite the eyepatch and haircut. It's been years, he reminded himself. The Bifrost fight is not the last thing that happened between you two.
"Let's just… get this over with," he mumbled.
Peter led them out, clapping Loki on the shoulder as he passed. Gamora took Loki's arm, she and Mantis sticking close to him again. Drax and Rocket emerged behind them, Rocket looking around with a twitching tail as if he wanted to examine how everything worked. Groot trailed at the rear, buried in his game.
"Queen Ramonda," Peter greeted, bowing a little to the eldest of the group. It was in a humorous, exaggerated way, but there was also genuine respect in the way he lingered over it for a moment.
She smiled. "Mholo, Peter. Gamora. Mantis. You three," she added to the trio in the back not paying attention. She softened upon finally focusing on Loki, everything from her stance to the look in her eyes to her voice. "Omnye."
"Othandekayo," Gamora whispered to Loki. "That's what you call her. It means wise one. The thing she called you means dear one."
"Othandekayo," Loki repeated, stumbling over the pronunciation.
Ramonda chuckled, squeezing his arm briefly. "Close enough, Loki."
Loki looked down at her hand, his own instinctively rising to cover hers. "There's a story here," he said, meeting her eyes. Smile lines crinkled around their corners, but pain hid in their depths.
"Always observant," Ramonda praised, her hand falling away. "But our history can wait. In the meantime, I shall leave you in the capable hands of your family and healers. Drax, Rocket, Groot – I can take the three of you to food, Shuri's lab, and a good place to play your game, if you wish."
Drax touched Loki's shoulder, catching his attention, and Loki nodded. "Go. I'm fine."
Ramonda rested her hand on Groot's back, guiding the teen forward, as Rocket and Drax followed them into the palace, flanked by Ramonda's guards. Loki watched them for longer than necessary, all too aware of Thor and Valkyrie waiting, the conversation they'd struck up with Peter while Loki talked to Ramonda winding down.
"Let's take this inside," Thor suggested.
Loki started at his familiar voice, finally turning to look at him. Thor smiled at him, the tender expression in stark contrast to the black eyepatch. Loki crossed his arms at the similarity to Odin, shoving back the memory of Odin still telling him he wasn't good enough, even as he dangled over an abyss.
"Can I…?" Valkyrie asked, gesturing at Gamora's spot.
Loki pulled away from Gamora before he could be asked again if the contact was all right, and she went after Thor with Mantis and Peter. Valkyrie offered her hand, and after a brief hesitation, Loki took it. Their hands slid together, fingers entwining as if he'd done this a billion times before.
"You… you look my type," he said lamely.
She laughed, the sound making his heart flutter. "Thank the gods you didn't use that the first time you tried flirting with me."
They stepped from the Wakandan heat and sunshine and into the neutral-toned, air-conditioned palace. Thor led them in the opposite direction that the others had gone, and Loki couldn't help but admire the art adorning the walls.
"So… how are you?" Valkyrie asked.
"I don't know," he sighed. "Since we broke out and my magic returned, I've felt like I should know all of you, and recognize these places, but nothing is happening. This-" he jiggled their entwined hands, "this feels familiar, but I just can't remember anything concrete. No matter how much I concentrate," he finished bitterly.
She brought his hand to her lips, kissing his knuckles. "We'll get you fixed up. We've come back from worse."
"We have?"
It was meant as a genuine question, but he winced at the morbid implications.
Valkyrie nodded. "We have. We've come back from near-fatal wounds and illnesses, from death, from depression and PTSD… We can beat this."
"I hope you're right," Loki murmured, ducking her head.
She flashed a smirk. "I always am."
Thor came up as Loki laughed; behind him, the three Guardians were stepping into a room. "It's good to hear you laughing, brother. May I have a moment?"
Valkyrie nodded, slipping away to join the others. They held on for as long as they could, leaving Loki's hand floating in empty air, reaching after her. Thor nudged it down, a smile playing across his face. "Smitten as always, are we?"
Loki pursed his lips, opening his mouth to retort. But he faltered when he looked at his brother, remembering his cry as Loki let go. Remembering saying the words I'm not your brother. I never was.
Thor huffed awkwardly, ducking his head and scratching behind his ear. "Peter says that you can't remember anything after Thanos's torture."
"More or less," Loki said.
"This is the worst time," Thor said, crossing his arms. "After all those years, all that loss, all that rage, the two of us were finally a family again."
"So I… I really did apologize?"
"As did I," Thor replied. He tilted his head a little, considering Loki. "You know, I thought you'd be angrier."
Loki looked down, shuffling his feet. "I don't… I don't remember, obviously, but I think… I think that came later. But now, I'm- or, at the point I last remember, I wasn't… It had been months, alone and in constant pain, with no end in sight… I wasn't angry. Or depressed. I was just trying to survive. Or… maybe I wasn't. I don't know. When you're in a living hell… There's not much of a distinction between life and death."
For the first time, someone acted without warning. Thor moved in, hugged him tight. Loki froze, shock giving way to confusion before the tears finally started burning at his eyes. He hugged back, clutching onto his brother with all of the stress and agony of the months he remembered powering his grip. Thor steadied him as he shuddered, soothing him, Loki's breaths hitching as he held back the tears.
"Gods, you have no idea how much I regret not being able to do this all those years ago," Thor whispered.
Loki turned his head, pressing his face into Thor's neck, letting the action speak for him, knowing that if he spoke, the tears would be unstoppable. And he had a healer's appointment.
"All right," Thor murmured as Loki sucked in a deep, shaky breath. He separated slowly, cupping Loki's face with one hand, leaving the other on his shoulder. "All right, are we ready now?"
He took another breath, this one steadier, and wiped the unshed tears from his eyes. "Yes. Yes, let's fix this."
Thor nodded, fully releasing him, and they stepped into the room. It was a small medical room, with technology that Loki didn't recognize sitting on either side of the sole bed. The room was all a sterile white, the artwork replaced by Asgardian designs. A sitting area was set up against the wall opposite the door, where Peter, Gamora, Mantis, and Valkyrie had already settled, Peter and Valkyrie's feet propped up on the little wooden table.
A pair of healers stood at the foot of the bed. The elder of the two, a short, plump black Asgardian with silver stripes weaving elegantly through her thick hair came forward, a kind smile on her face. "I'm Eir," she said, extending her hand.
"I remember you. From before," he added hastily, seeing the reactions from the others.
"Yes, I tended your mother often," she said. "This is my daughter, Embla," she went on, introducing the second healer. She was thinner, with amber eyes and no silver in her hair, but otherwise, she could've been a clone of Eir. "Have a seat, please."
Loki perched on the edge of the bed, forcing his hands to rest in his lap. After lowering the bed so they were on eye level with each other, Eir stepped in front of him, angled to give him some privacy from the others. She placed her hands on either side of his head, closing her eyes to concentrate. Her magic sparked, slipping gently into his mind, probing for the injury, and it took conscious effort to keep his own magic from interfering.
"Are you resisting?" Eir asked.
"No," Loki answered.
"Odd," she murmured. "Embla, if you would?"
A second pair of hands joined Eir's, this time pressing down over his forehead and the back of his head. Embla's magic joined her mother's, the two like powers blending together in Loki's mind, warm and soothing. But they pooled together, surrounding one spot, one icy spot that refused to be penetrated.
"Prince Loki?"
He shook his head as much as their tight grips allowed, heart thudding in his chest. "It's not me."
Eir pulled back, as did Embla, the sudden lack of their healing magic leaving Loki shivering. Embla tugged the blanket up, draping it around him. He drew it tight, glancing between the two healers, hardly noticing Valkyrie coming over to wrap her arm around his shoulders and hold him close.
"Go get Princess Shuri, please," Eir asked her daughter. Embla dipped her head and slipped out of the room.
"What's wrong?" Peter asked, sitting up and planting his feet on the floor.
Eir spread her hands helplessly. "We found the memories," she started, "but we cannot reach them. There is a wall of some sort, and the prince is right: It's not his doing."
"Bleloter magic is not this strong," Gamora pointed out, confused. "Any one of you should have been able to undo it alone."
"Beb said something about practicing for years to get it right," Loki said.
"Really? Did she say what exactly she did?" Thor asked. "Beyond, you know, the obvious."
Loki dropped his gaze to his hands, picking at his thumb. "She was a little too busy making me scream."
Valkyrie kissed the top of his head, rubbing his back as she did so. He closed his eyes. Gods, I wish I could remember her.
"She was in jail. How much could she have practiced?" Mantis wondered. "You cannot go around erasing other inmates' memories."
The door reopened, admitting Embla, Ramonda, the other three Guardians, and a young woman Loki assumed was Shuri. "How many broken white boys must I fix?" she sighed, seeing Loki sitting on the bed. He leaned back, affronted. "Oh, heya Brunn!"
Valkyrie patted his shoulder, reaching across him to fistbump the princess. "That's just how she talks, Loki. Constant roasting."
Shuri approached the bed, waving everyone off to the corner. "Lie down, Loki," she ordered briskly, but now that she was closer, Loki could see the concern in her eyes. He obeyed, and an empty stretch of wall came to life, readings and images coming to life. Shuri scrolled through the images until a brain popped up, outlined in black and filled mostly by grey. But one part flashed green, a smaller part within colored bright red. She narrowed her eyes at it, manipulating the image, scrolling through information listed off to the side.
"I've never seen this before," she finally stated, shooting a glance at Loki.
"Seen what?"
"Human memory is stored in various parts of the brain, depending on what type of memory it is. You can still remember facts, so the type of memory we're concerned about is called episodic memory – events and stuff – which is stored in the neocortex. From what I've seen, Asgardians aren't very different. And this," she said, tapping the green part, "is your neocortex.
"Most of it seems to be working fine. But this red part… It's not. It doesn't seem to be dead or misfiring, it's just… not doing anything. Like it's frozen in stasis."
"And that means…?" Loki pressed.
She stepped back from the wall, taking a breath. "I can fix it. But… it will take time to figure out how."
Ramonda gripped his arm again. Loki scrubbed a hand over his face, biting back a frustrated sigh. "How long?"
Shuri shrugged, already losing herself in the data. "Days. Weeks. Months. I don't know. If there's another option, you might want to take it."
Loki looked at Peter. "There's one."
Peter clapped his hands on his knees and stood up. "At this point, what've we got to lose?"
A/N: Look at me, actually researching how brains work to make magical ailments plausible
