I only own my oc's!
Silverwing
I step into my suite and over to Star, who's coloring at the table. "How you doing, Sweetspark?"
"Fine."
"Got your homework done?"
"Yep!"
"How about your math?"
"Graham helped me."
I kneel to her. "What you drawin'?"
"Grandma and Grandpa!"
"From the drifts, right?"
She nods. "Why'd Grandma always let that man yell at you? You're always crying in your memories of your family."
I sigh heavily. "I…" I shake my head. "It's called abuse, Star. I was abused, verbally, and later physically. I ran away, at fourteen, and met the Autobots. I learned I was one of them. I joined the Army—Rangers, obviously—when I was eighteen. Chicago was my first battle as such. I was terrified at first, but by the end of the day I was a Green Lantern. After that, I stayed with Optimus—"
"Until Grandpa Ratchet got killed."
"Yeah. After that, I helped against KSI and Lockdown, then moved to Griffin Rock."
"You have happier memories there."
"Because I was safe. I took EMS training as part of my Ranger training—I'm actually a field medic—so I got to be an EMT there. I got to work with Blades on a very personal level, my pain over losing my closest Praxian friend was gone, because I got closer to Chase, and my spark break was eased as I got to know Heatwave. I got to work on my Cybertronian medical training with Doc Greene, and I got to perfect my medical techniques for humans."
"Then you left. That's when you met Aunt Mako."
"Yeah." I sigh heavily. "And lost Gipsy to the Breach."
"Then they came back, and you had me built."
"Yep." I smile. "My best decision yet."
"Why?"
I grin. "Because it gave me a daughter, of course." I pull her in for a hug. "My beautiful little Star Warrior."
She leans back. "Why did you name me that?"
"It was my call sign, when I was hiding out in Optimus."
"So… I'm named after you?"
"Sort of…" I sigh heavily, not noticing that Bluestreak's back from his patrol. "Your name came from my darkest hour, Star. I had to find a way to light the Autobots' darkest hour while Optimus was in Stasis Lock, and then after that, when he left Earth. I was just so damned lost, without him, and Dad, and…" I sigh heavily before starting to sing.
I've been left out alone like a damn criminal
I've been praying for help cause I can't take it all
I'm not done,
It's not over.
Now I'm fighting this war since the day of the fall
And I'm desperately holding on to it all
But I'm lost
I'm so damn lost
Oh I wish it was over,
And I wish you were here
Still I'm hoping that somehow
Bluestreak gasps softly when he hears the emotion in my voice. He knew I was scarred, after Chicago, losing Ratchet, and Optimus leaving for deep space, but he never realized how much it hurt me, as a human, and as an Autobot.
'Cause your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
A shot in the dark
In the blink of an eye
I can see through your eyes
As I'm lying awake I'm still hearing the cries
And it hurts
Hurts me so bad
And I'm wondering why I still fight in this life
'Cause I've lost all my faith in this damn bitter strife
And it's sad
It's so damn sad
I'm doing my best to keep tears from falling in front of Star, but I know I'm failing. So far, she hasn't noticed.
Bluestreak, however, has. He gasps in shock when he notices, surprised that I'm still singing so clearly.
Oh I wish it was over,
And I wish you were here
Still I'm hoping that somehow
'Cause your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
I feel you fading away
I feel you fading away
I feel you fading away
I feel you fading away
My control shatters, and I start sobbing, still singing through the harsh sobs. It's, sadly, a skill I mastered after losing my grandmother. Dealing with Aaron's abuse, and Mom's ignorance, forced me to develop skills I'm grateful for now, even though they're still embarrassing. I can sing through tears, and I have breath control strong enough to sing through pneumonia.
'Cause your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
Oh, your soul is on fire
A shot in the dark,
What did they aim for when they missed your heart?
I breathe underwater
It's all in my hands
What can I do?
Don't let it fall apart
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
A shot in the dark
I look up at Bluestreak. I had noticed him when he gasped, and I'm surprised he's been so silent, but I know it's a bad sign, when Bluestreak's speechless. The mech'll end up thinking about Praxus if he doesn't talk. "Well?"
"You're amazing! I've never heard you sing like that before! How did you manage to keep singing, when you were crying so hard?"
I shrug. "A life of abuse, while having Asperger's."
Bluestreak already knew of that, so he continues. He knows how hard it is to get me to talk, when I'm this upset. "A criminal? You've been left out alone like a criminal?"
I shrug. "Mearing locked my accounts in Griffin Rock, before I came out here the last time. She was locked up for tyranny soon after, but I was already here by then, making a home."
"You're lost? You're sad?"
I raise an eyebrow. That was really confusing, on a Prowl-would-crash level. "Huh?"
""I'm so damn lost", "I'm so damn sad"?"
I nod. "I was lost, after losing everything I'd worked for. It was damn sad, that we fought for the humans, and they killed the mech I looked up to as a father." I shrug. " Now I'm fighting this war since the day of the fall, and I'm desperately holding on to it all. "
Bluestreak raises an eyebrow ridge. "And that means?"
"During Chicago, Cybertron was blown up. I've been fighting this war since the day of the fall of Cybertron." I sigh. "I did my best to cling to what I had left of a normal life. Now I'm desperately holding on to it at all."
"Because it's all in your hands?"
I nod. "I stepped up, after Prowl died, Blue. I was the Second in Command. Then, Optimus left me in charge, with Bee as my Second in Command, when he went into space. I'm still in command now, but I've got Optimus, and Prowl…who crashed earlier today…and Bee, and you."
"In the blink of an eye, I can see through your eyes, As I'm lying awake I'm still hearing the cries, And it hurts, Hurts me so bad. What do you mean by that?"
I nod weakly. "I think, I understand you better now." I sigh heavily as first the scenes from the cons sealing off the city come to mind—sound and all—before changing to him and Que dead, and finally ending with Ratchet's sparkless frame left lying in the dust. "No, I know I understand you better now."
Bluestreak gives me a sad look. "Oh, Shey…"
I hold up a hand. "Don't pity me, Blue. I'll survive." I shrug. "After all, Ratch is back, Que's back, you're back, and Chicago's rebuilt. It's just the remnants of the trauma now." I sigh heavily. "And I've got Star now." I lean back on the wall in my Cybertronian form. "But I still wonder why I took up arms to begin with. I never wanted to fight, and seeing everything I knew taken away, and everyone I loved being killed, took my faith that there could ever be an end to this damn bitter strife." I sigh before shaking my head. "It's just so damn sad."
"Who did you feel fading away?"
"Ratch… Red Alert… I watched Prowl… I watched Optimus as he disappeared into nothing."
Bluestreak sighs before pulling me in for a hug. "It's all right. I'm here now."
I lean into him. "I know, Blue. I know…"
"Mommy! Blue! Look what I did!"
I look over to her, expecting her to show me another picture, only to find her…metal, again, but not as tall as her jaeger form, which is 260 feet tall, but the same light pink and light blue. Her star-Autobot logo is still on her chest, but now a dark pink. She's about eight feet, to my current fifteen, and she's got doorwings. She's…Cybertronian. Praxian. "By the All Spark."
"Primus."
I smile before walking over to her. "You're beautiful, Sweetspark."
"Can I go show Gipsy?"
I can't help but laugh softly. "After we go see Ratchet. He's got to check you over, make sure you're okay."
She pouts, slouching in her chair. "Fine."
Medical Bay
Bluestreak and I step into the medical bay with Star between us. "Ratch?"
Ratchet sighs before turning to the door. He gasps softly when he sees Star. "What in the All Spark?"
"Hi, Grandpa Ratch!"
Ratchet looks down to her in shock. "Star Warrior?"
I nod. "Wonders never cease." I shrug. "I had a feeling she'd do this, I just hoped she wouldn't have doorwings."
"And why would that be?"
I turn to find Prowl still in the medical bay, but repaired. "If it transfers to her jaeger form, they could adapt to attack them in order to take her down. I don't want to lose my little Star."
"And we'll do our best to prevent it." Ratchet turns to me. "Starlight…" He sighs. "I need a Cybertronian designation. I can't just leave it as Star. She's not just a jaeger now. She's got more Cybertronium than she does Earth metal."
I look down before a line from Linkin Park's Castle of Glass comes to me. 'Fly me up on a silver wing/past the black where the sirens sing/warm me up in a nova's glow/and drop me down to the dream below' I smile. "Silverwing."
"What?"
"She is not silver, nor can she fly."
I glare at Prowl. "She has doorwings. Duh." I glance at Bluestreak, then turn to the confused medic. "Bluestreak doesn't have a speck of blue on him, yet we still call him Bluestreak." I shrug. "I got it from a song all right?"
Fly me up on a silver wing
Past the black where the sirens sing
Warm me up in a nova's glow
And drop me down to the dream below
"Castle of Glass." We all turn to Prowl in surprise. "Jazz is quite interested in their music as of late. I have heard the song before."
I nod. "I like it too."
Bluestreak smiles. "It does seem to fit her…"
"Like Bluestreak fits you. Ya talk a blue streak, ya shoot like a blue streak…"
We hear a voice at the door. "She ac's like a princess, even though she's no' one."
"Thanks, Jazz." I smile to Jazz before turning to Ratchet. "And she's got doorwings."
"Silverwing it is."
"Wanna come with me, Silva?"
I shake my head. "We need to meet Mako in the training room, but thanks."
Training Room
"It really happened."
I nod to my best friend. "While Blue and I were talking."
"What are you going to do about the doorwings?"
I shrug. "Not sure yet, Mako." I lean back against the wall to watch her train with Gipsy, both in their half-way forms. As I feared, Silverwing's got her doorwings still. I sigh before shifting into my own new-found half-way form, with just my doorwings out. My glasses do shift into a visor in my Cybertronian form, but it's retractable, and I usually keep it back, since I don't need it to see, unlike my glasses in my human form. It just keeps things organized, which I don't need unless I'm on a mission. Still, the evidence of it is visible, near my ears.
Gipsy smacks Silverwing's doorwings with one of the wooden staffs. "OW!" Silverwing falls to her knees.
Mako moves to run to Silverwing, but I hold up an arm to stop her. "Don't."
"Why not?"
I sigh heavily. "Doorwings are sensitive, and mine are more so than any other Praxian. If she's going to have them in jaeger form, sad as it is, she'll have to get used to having them manhandled." I walk over and kneel to her. "It's painful, yes, but you know we can't let pain keep us from doing what we have to do. You're strong, Silverwing. You can do it. I believe in you." I help her back to her feet. "Gipsy."
"What?"
"Do not. Hit. Her doorwings. Again." I glare at her darkly. "Or I'll hit your shoulder plates." Ratch may have taught me not to hit sensitive spots, but I'll go against that anytime to protect or defend my daughter.
Raleigh walks over to Mako. He'd missed everything but my angry words. "What happened?"
"Gipsy hit Star Warrior on her wings."
I turn to Raleigh and Mako. "Her Cybertronian name is Silverwing. Remember that. Only her call sign is Star Warrior." I turn to my daughter. "Cybertronian form, Sweetspark. We need to have Grandpa Ratch check out your doorwings after that."
"But Mommy!"
"No buts, Silva. We're going." I sigh heavily. "Dented doorwings hurt like the pit, and I don't want you to suffer. We're going."
