Ch 108: Ron Catches a Bug

Several hours later, a smiling Hermione crawled into bed and the arms of husband. "Think they'll pull it off?"

"Well, I figure that we win either way," said Ron. "At the very least we get to go to bed at the same time for once. If they wake us up at 3 for help, then we're no worse off than we were last night."

"It's so sweet that they want to stay with them."

"Yeah, but we'll see if they think it's as interesting in a few days." Ron sighed looking around the room and rubbing his hand over the back of his neck.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Exhaustion must be getting to me or something."

"You seem, I don't know, I guess I thought you'd be more relaxed with everyone finally under one roof."

He shrugged. "I thought so too, actually. But something feels off, and I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Off?"

"Yeah, off. It's like – well – Fi used to call it my 'ginger neck hair alert.' Just a sense that something isn't as it should be."

"And this is a special skill only ginger wizards possess?"

"No," admitted Ron. "Actually, a healer I worked with when I was an auror thought it was from the brain scars. Something about additional neuro-magical perception or some such rubbish. I've always thought it came from being number six of seven. Or maybe just a survival instinct that came from being the little brother to the infamous Weasley Twins. The first ones anyway. I'm hoping ours aren't as infamous."

"Do you really think there is something to be concerned about?" Hermione asked, now sitting up in the bed looking worried.

"No, yeah, no. Sorry. I didn't mean to make you anxious. It could be nothing. It's probably nothing. Maybe it's just I have a practiced dad instinct to look out for two kids, and now I am having to divide it by four and my brain neuro magical whatzit skills are overloaded," he teased. "But, at least they're all in the same room."

Hermione gave him a skeptical look. "If I wasn't so damn tired I would be worried and would get up and go check on them. But I am exhausted, and you are mister vigilant, so I'm leaving it in your qualified hands."

"Go to sleep," he said kissing her curls. "I'll cast a listening charm so we'll hear anything that remotely stirs in the nursery."

"Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse," giggled Hermione. Ron looked at her in confusion causing her to say, "Really? That's a muggle thing? Ugh, never mind. I'll read it to you and the twins tomorrow."

"Whatever," mumbled Ron as he cast the listening charm on the nursery. Hearing the four sleeping breaths, he began to calm down and tried to convince himself nothing was wrong. For the first time his family of six was altogether. He should relax and enjoy it.

He eventually drifted into a fitful sleep, but he awoke every hour or so unable to shake the sense that something was wrong. Then around 2 in the morning he woke up with a start to a noise that sounded almost like an owl. He looked out the window and saw nothing. Restless, he got out of bed, grabbed his wand and walked to the nursery, peaking in on his treasures. He saw Rose and Hugo each asleep on the twin mattresses, and Ryan asleep in his crib next to his sister, who was wide awake.

"Hey little one," Ron whispered. "Why are you up so early? You should sleep for another hour at least."

She scrunched her face up as if to scream, so Ron scooped her up quickly so she wouldn't wake everyone else.

"Here we are. Come on, you can come with Daddy for a minute. Maybe a little walk is what you need." She held his gaze and smiled as she flopped her head against his chest, seemingly burrowing against him which made Ron grin madly. "Blimey, Hazel. You have me so wrapped around your little finger I might as well be a ring," he whispered, kissing her head and nuzzling his nose against her soft hair as they headed down the stairs.

Since she didn't act hungry, he decided to wait and let her eat at her normal time at 3. Yawning, he decided to wander towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. But, as he stepped off the stairs and came into the living room, every hair on his arms and neck suddenly stood up straight and he froze. Every auror sense kicked in, somehow increasing exponentially the internal need to protect the five most important souls in his world, one of whom he was holding in his arms.

As if she sensed the sudden change in her father's breath and heartbeat, Hazel's head snapped straight up to look around the room with wide eyes. Ron instinctively held her tighter while casting a silencing charm around both of them. Wordlessly casting "hominem revelio," his heart almost stopped as he realized there was someone in the kitchen. A mixture of terror and rage suddenly coursed through his veins as he assessed the situation. Seeing the car seat carriers by the front door, he silently took three long strides towards it, placing Hazel snugly in it. He kissed her, shoved a pacifier in her mouth and levitated the seat with her in it up the stairs still surrounded in a silencing charm. The he silenced the whole downstairs so no one asleep upstairs would be any the wiser. Then, still behind a shield of silence, he cast a patronus which he sent to Harry, "Come immediately, someone has broken into the house. I'm gonna to confront 'em in the kitchen. Family's safe upstairs. Apparate to the garage, I'm putting anti-apparation wards up everywhere else now to catch this fucker. I need you NOW."

As he growled out the last word and sent his terrier off to get backup, he silently set up the anti-apparition barriers. He didn't know how the hell anyone got through the wards he'd placed with Bill's help, but there was no way Ron was letting this fucker get away. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he slinked up to the kitchen entryway and peaked in.

Despite decades of experience and thousands of hours of training and teaching, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw. His heart skipped a beat and bile rose in his throat as he realized Rita fucking Skeeter was standing in his kitchen. Her back was to him, but he'd know that silhouette anywhere. She was looking at something spread on the kitchen table, but Ron couldn't calm his fury long enough to see what it was. Rage flying through his body he burst into the kitchen with his wand drawn.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH!" he screamed.

Startled, she immediately tried to apparate but was blocked by the wards. Then, right before his eyes she seemingly disappeared.

"I KNOW YOU'RE STILL HERE YOU CRAZY BITCH," he screamed. "YOU HAVE CROSSED THE LINE SO FAR THIS TIME YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY AGAIN."

Scanning the room, he was desperate to find her or figure out how she had disguised herself. In one swish of his wrist he cast a stream of water from his wand across the kitchen to try to find a concealment charm. Not seeing signs of the water blocked by a hidden body, he turned and saw something flicker in the corner of his eye. Looking closer he realized it was a beetle that had gotten wet and was now trapped in a puddle of water that had collected in the seat of a kitchen chair. Realization struck him like lightning, and he immediately summoned a glass bowl and slammed it upside down over the beetle.

"You're a fucking animagus, aren't you?" he snarled. "You're lucky I don't just squash you right now. But you know what? Unlike you, I actually have morals. So, no, I'm not going to kill you. But you can bet your fucking quick quill I will see you rot in hell."

He heard the garage door open and yelled for Harry who came into the kitchen in plaid pajama bottoms, a quidditch shirt, bare feet and a drawn wand.

"Ron?" Harry asked, confused as to why the seemingly empty kitchen was dripping with water and Ron was yelling at a bowl on a chair.

"SHE WAS IN MY FUCKING HOUSE, HARRY! WITH MY KIDS!"

"Ron? Who was in the house? Where are they? What happened?"

"FUCKING RITA SKEETER," he roared, face and neck now crimson in fury. "SHE'S AN ANIMAGUS, HARRY! CAUGHT HER UNDER THE DAMN BOWL!"

Harry looked startled and shifted his gaze to the glass bowl Ron was holding down tightly against the chair. Peering into it with wide eyes, he saw an oddly colored beetle stuck in a puddle of water.

"Really?" he gasped. "Merlin, that explains so much. She's really…hell, can you tell me what happened?"

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HER."

"Ok, hang on mate, back up. What the hell happened here?"

"IN MY FUCKING KITCHEN!"

"Slow down. Can you let go of the bowl a minute?"

"NOT A CHANCE IN HELL. THERE IS NO WAY SHE'S GETTING OUT OF THIS."

"Alright. Alright. I'll cast a binding charm on the bug and a sticking charm on the bowl. Then will you back up a minute and tell me what's going on?" Harry asked as he cast the charms.

Ron was now pacing like a caged animal. Running his hands through his hair he was muttering, still making no sense to Harry. "How'd she get through the wards? Where the fuck was she? First the fucking rat and now this! I am never letting my kids have a pet I don't care how much they beg..."

"RON," Harry finally yelled, snapping Ron from his daze. "Ron," Harry said again in a calmer tone. "You need to tell me what's happened."

Ron took a deep breath and explained how he had felt off ever since they'd picked the kids up from the train, and how he'd been anxious all evening but had eventually gone to bed. He said he'd woken up to a strange noise. Then he'd checked on the kids and found Hazel awake.

"Wait, shite, Hazel," he said as he dashed up the stairs. There he found the little witch red faced and crying strapped into her car seat while she screamed behind a silencing shield. He quickly got her out and started to calm her as he slowly descended the stairs again. In a sing-song soothing whisper he said, "So sorry, sweet pea. I'm so, so sorry. It's ok. Daddy is going to squish that bug, yes he is. And you are never, ever, ever allowed to have a pet. You can go play with Uncle Charlie's dragons at the reserve or help Hagrid at the school, but we are not having any animals in this house ever, ever again, are we? I'm so sorry, Love. Daddy just didn't want you to get hurt so I had to keep you safe up here. I will always keep you safe, darling. But I bet that was so, so scary, wasn't it? But you were a big, brave Gryffindor, weren't you? But don't worry. I'll always protect you, Hazel. Daddy will always keep you safe."

He peered down the rest of stairs and saw Harry looking up at him. Sighing, he came back down holding the upset infant and removed the silence shield as they headed back to the kitchen. Still soothing Hazel against his chest as she took shuddering breaths and tried to stop crying, he continued explaining how he'd cast hominem revelio, come around the corner, seen and confronted Skeeter and then she'd disappeared. He knew she couldn't have apparated, so he'd cast water looking for it to bounce off of someone hidden behind a disillusionment charm but instead trapped the beetle in the puddle and revealed her secret. He realized she had to have come in on the trunks from the train, and she was able to come through the wards because Ron brought in the trunks himself.

After Ron explained everything, Harry called for two other aurors to come to the house to be the ones to arrest Skeeter so that there could be no possible perceived conflicts of interest that would allow her to weasel out of the charges against her. Once the other aurors had arrived, Harry removed the bowl. He instructed the aurors to cast petrificus totalus on her before forcing her out of her animagus form so she couldn't escape. Once the trapped witch was standing there frozen in her human form in his kitchen, Ron handed Hazel to Harry for a moment and asked him to take the baby out of the room for a moment as he didn't want her to see her dad as the angry auror. Only once she was out of sight and out of earshot, Ron got right into Skeeter's face. He was so close he was sure she could feel his angry breath against her skin.

"I have put up with you and your made up shite for decades," he hissed. "You made up shite about Harry when he was just a kid. A little fucking orphan was who you went after. Who does that shite? You made people doubt what was right. You know I still wonder how many people died due to the carelessness of your fucking quick quill. But you would do anything for a knut, wouldn't you, you disgusting trollup. Then you hounded me and my family for years to peddle your papers and sell your stories. You pestered my mother the same week she buried her son. Her son! And when George finally opened the shop again you wrote all that made up shite accusing him of disrespecting his dead twin. You're lucky I didn't kill you then. I wasn't as restrained back then, you know? And then when my life wasn't exciting enough you simply made shite up. You know, you really should have just written novels from the get go. Fiction has always been your specialty. I tried to take the high ground and ignore you. But then you started trailing the love of my life, exposing her, stalking her, making up shite about her. She ignored you too. Then you broke into her fucking medical records, which is so illegal I can't even count how many laws that breaks. And I tried hard to ignore you. You have no morals at all you fucking bitch. Never gave one thought to how these lies impact people, how they impact children. CHILDREN! I tried to tell them all to be tough, to not let it get to them. But," he growled, "THIS. ENDS. NOW. The second you came into my home and threatened MY CHILDREN you crossed the line for good. So help me God, I will make sure you never see the light of day again."

Frozen stiff, all she could do is blink back at him, eyes wide with fear. He stared her down reminding her who was in control now, lest she have any doubts. Finally, stepping back and turning away he said, "Get this trash out of my house," to the two aurors as he removed the anti-apparition wards.

"With pleasure, sir," grinned the youngest of the two aurors as he and his partner took hold of the petrified witch and apparated to The Ministry to formally charge her and lock her up.

Flicking his wand again, he cleaned up the wet kitchen and collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs, letting his head fall into his hands as the tension finally left him. Standing in his pajamas holding Hazel, Harry came back into the doorway of the kitchen and looked sadly at Ron in his pants and t shirt exhausted and spent at his kitchen table. Harry shook his head wondering if he and his best mate would ever stop finding their way into such absurd situations. He sighed and sat in the chair next to Ron searching for the right words to help the emotionally spent ginger. After several minutes of silence, he began to speak.

"You've been my best friend for almost thirty years," Harry said softly. "And we have been through some pretty strange shite together. But – and, Ron, I say this from the bottom of my heart - I never thought I'd see the day you would chew out Skeeter in your kitchen wearing nothing but Christmas pants and a 'Kiss the Keeper' t shirt," Harry said as he began to laugh through his smirk.

Ron looked up, a mix of anger and defensiveness covering his face. But, at Harry's laughter Hazel had started squealing, squirming and laughing as well. Harry had to take of his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes from laughing too hard, and Hazel was gurgling and squealing as she kicked her legs and reaching for Ron in glee. Finally, cracking a smile, Ron took Hazel in his arms and let the lopsided grin spread across his face as she settled happily into the crook of his neck still babbling and blowing spit bubbles of laughter against his skin.

"It was pretty fucking brilliant, wasn't it?" he grinned as Harry again fell into a fit of laughter.

When they finally stopped laughing and caught their breath, Ron realized it was almost 3, so he snuck upstairs to get Ryan before he woke up the older kids wanting his bottle. He came back down to find Harry looking at the items scattered across the kitchen table that Skeeter had been looking at before she was caught. When Ron finally saw what they were, his heart sunk. It was a series of photographs of him and the family since he'd picked up the kids at the train station. There were also notes and parchment of scratched out writing, clearly drafts of her story.

"Shite," Ron said, "I thought I heard an owl before all of this started. You don't think she sent off other pictures do you?"

"And an article?" Harry said back, eyes going wide.

"Fuck," Ron said.

Harry immediately sent a patronus back to the aurors who had arrested Skeeter instructing them to go to the Daily Prophet to inform the publisher not to print any Skeeter stories in the morning paper and that printing any pictures they had acquired illegally would make the Daily Prophet publisher an accomplice to her crimes, for which they would be arrested, charged and tried.

It wasn't until almost 40 minutes later when they heard back from the aurors who confirmed they had stopped production just in time did Ron finally close his eyes and exhale, the nausea of the situation hitting him hard.

"Come on," Harry finally said. "Let's feed these two. No reason for four of us to be miserable when we can at least make two people happy."

Soon Harry and Ron each took a baby and a bottle and settled onto the couch. And they both quickly realized that no matter how furious or scared or angry or upset a person is, holding a three month old in their arms while feeding them a bottle and then rocking them to sleep is an incredible antidote. Before too long, they'd both fallen asleep where they were sitting, each with a peaceful, sleeping baby in their arms.

Hermione woke up shortly after six, surprised to find a cold, empty side of the bed next to her. Curious, she got up and showered and then headed to the nursery, where she was once again surprised to find Rose and Hugo asleep but Ryan and Hazel not to be found. She headed downstairs, assuming Ron had them both in the kitchen, but she was stopped in her tracks at the sight greeting her in the living room. Ron was sitting on the sofa in his Christmas pants holding a sleeping Hazel tucked into his arm. His long legs were extended onto the coffee table. Leaning on his left shoulder was a sleeping Harry in plaid pajamas, with crazy black hair, crooked glasses and a sleeping Ryan curled against his chest. After stifling her giggle, she grabbed her cell phone from her purse and snapped a picture of the two best friends asleep leaning on each other while each holding a sleeping baby. She quickly sent a text to Ginny and her mum as well as the picture. "I'm not sure what happened here last night, but this is the sight I found when I came downstairs this morning. Of all the foes they have taken on together, maybe twin babies will be what finally beats them."