A/N: Hello everyone! First of all, I want to say a big fat thank you to my lovely beta, Charlotte, who helped me SO MUCH working on this one. I love you, and I don't know where I'd be without you.

Secondly, I'd like to say that because I'm starting university tomorrow and I really want to do WELL, this fic is going on the backburner for a little bit. I'M NOT GOING TO ABANDON IT. There's only five or six chapters until the end, so we've passed the halfway mark a long time ago. But it might take me a little longer in between updates.

Anyway, I still hope you really enjoy this, and as usual, don't forget to let me know what you thought of it!

Disclaimer: I own zero (0) things.


Chapter Twelve

Or

Fire and Smoke


Lily Evans wasn't nice, at least not where James Potter was concerned. With her, James never knew where he stood. She was kind, yes, and probably smarter than anyone else he knew, but she could also be vindictive, vicious and cold as ice. Lily Evans was a human paradox and so there really was no way James could know what the hell was going on inside his heart.

(Maybe he did, and just wasn't ready to admit it to himself. Whatever.)

What James did know was that Lily's laugh made everything seem quieter, calmer, slower, which in reality didn't make any sense, because she was manic, erratic and potentially insane, he suspected. It was pretty perfect, to be honest. After all, what James needed was excitement and enthusiasm. Someone who'd make his heart beat a little faster, someone who'd light a fire in his chest. He always acted like an idiot around her, but how could he not? She always made him trip over himself, speak before he managed to figure out what he wanted to say...

Lily wasn't nice. James thought nice was overrated anyway, and that was where things got tricky. Because it wasn't like James didn't like Susan. He actually really did, which was why he felt so awful about the whole situation.

James was going to talk to her. He was. James knew full well he couldn't keep stringing her along; he was just waiting for the perfect time.

He'd tried to approach it several times before, too, but for some reason it never felt right. Every time he felt like he might be ready to do it, his palms would get uncharacteristically sweaty and his throat would close up. Then she'd smile at him some kind of way, and James would put it off again.

Which was why, two weeks after he'd made the decision to end his relationship with Susan, they were still together, and on their way to Hogsmeade.

The carriage ride to the village was a slow one. The rain and melting snow made for extremely muddy roads and at least two of the carriages had gotten stuck in the sludge, causing a small traffic jam.

At least, James mused, it gave him some time to think. (Because apparently he hadn't done enough of that over the past few days…)

The silence was deafening, constricting, and James had never felt claustrophobic before but now he was starting to. He looked over at Susan, who was leaning into the tinted glass window with a smile on her face.

His chest tightened at the sight.

Suddenly, and because all good things must come to an end, the carriage came to a halt and the pair made their way out.

James sighed. He really had to do something.

And well… if that meant breaking up with his girlfriend on February fourteenth, of all days, then so be it.


Susan had always thought of herself as a rather ordinary girl, with her straight brown hair and average school grades. She didn't really think that there was anything that special about her. She had always imagined herself growing up, going to university and eventually settling down with a nice enough boy who she could grow old with. All that changed when she turned eleven, because that was the day a peculiar man with a long beard told her that she was a witch.

Sure enough, strange things had always seemed to happen around Susan, but she'd never given them much thought. Sometimes, coincidences were just that, coincidences. Though, come to think of it, it had been particularly mind-boggling when she'd broken the kitchen cupboard open at age four to retrieve the doll hidden inside by her babysitter.

And then when Susan was eleven, another door was opened, a door to a whole new world which she was now a part of. Her family had been nothing but supportive, especially her younger brother, Daniel, who was ecstatic at the prospect of having magic in the family. Perhaps he hoped that once he turned eleven himself, the same curious man would return with a letter for him.

When Susan turned eleven, she had no idea what to expect of the magical world. At nearly seventeen, she decided that, well… she had certainly not expected that.


It was quiet inside the castle, eerily so. Most of the students had naturally gone down to the village for Valentine's Day, but Marlene couldn't. All she could do was roll around in her four-poster and replay the previous night's conversation in her head.

They'd been sitting together in the Astronomy tower, the cold breeze nipping at their noses. It had been a lovely night, with a sky so clear they could see the stars. There was no way Marlene could have predicted what was about to happen.

"Marlene?" Lucinda had started, looking anywhere to avoid meeting Marlene's gaze.

"Yeah?"

"We should probably talk about what happened."

It was at that point that she knew nothing good could possibly come out of the conversation. The two of them had been walking on eggshells around each other ever since that day in the locker room. Desperate to change the subject, she'd replied, "Oh, don't worry. That's fine."

"It's not fine. I know that I owe you an explanation—"

"—you don't owe me anything—"

"—I do, Marlene. But I can't give you one. I can't. I'm not… I'm not ready yet."

Marlene took her girlfriend's hand, softly rubbing the skin of her palm with her thumb. "Then that's fine. Whatever it is, we can handle it in time," she'd assured her.

"Marlene…" she'd said, and Marlene couldn't forget the way that Lucinda's voice had cracked over her name, "…you're so—you're so sweet but I'm—I'm way too complicated."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I'm way too complicated for you." Marlene had felt sick with anticipation.

"Lucinda, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you deserve better. You'd be a fool to keep holding onto this, trust me."

"I don't understand—"

"I'm saying maybe… maybe it's best that we go our separate ways."

Marlene had dropped Lucinda's hand as if it had burned her.

"Lucinda, why are you saying these things? 'Go our separate ways?' That's not what I want!"

Lucinda had looked close to tears by then but she had persisted with a shaky breath: "I—I know it's cliché and you'll probably hate me for saying it, but it really isn't you, Marlene. I promise it's not you; it's me. But we can't do this… I'm sorry."

And so, having returned to the dorm in tears, and after consuming a grotesque amount of chocolate frogs and jelly slugs, Marlene had decided once and for all that Valentine's Day was the absolute worst holiday in the whole entire Wizarding World.

Lily and Mary had both tried to persuade her that going down to the village would be a suitable distraction, but Marlene couldn't really be bothered. She was set on taking a day off and just wallowing in bed. Tomorrow she'd work on getting her woman back. But today… today she deserved to mope. When, as a final resort, Lily and Mary offered to stay with her, she told them she just wanted to be alone.


They'd been walking for about ten minutes now, slowly making their way alongside the railway, but James had barely said a word to his girlfriend. Because how was he supposed to tell her that, while he liked her a lot, he didn't like her the most, and that, while he was happy with her, he would be happier with someone else? He wasn't sure how not to hurt her feelings.

But, by now, James simply couldn't hold it in anymore. He'd already gone through at least fifteen dialogue openers in his head and he still couldn't figure out how to begin, so ultimately—in true James Potter fashion—he ended up just blurting it out.

"Susan," James started, his voice gravelly.

"Yes, honey?" she asked, slowing to a stop. Her hand was still in James'. His heart was beating wildly inside his chest, pulsing like a drum. His palms were sweating and his scarf felt far too tight and he couldn't breathe—

"Susan, I have to tell you something." She nodded him on, as if to say 'alright, spit it out.'

"I—"

But before he could finish his sentence, he caught sight of something a distance away, behind his expectant girlfriend's head. About a dozen hooded figures wearing dark cloaks were slowly but surely approaching the village.

"Death Eaters," he whispered.

"What? —" James hurriedly covered Susan's mouth before she made more noise.

"Shh!" James fished the mirror out of his cloak pocket.

"Padfoot!" he called. "Padfoot!"

"I'm here, I'm here," Susan could hear Sirius' voice reply, although she didn't wasn't sure from where. She looked up at James in puzzlement.

"Sirius, there's Death Eaters in Hogsmeade," James urged.

"What—?"

"No, listen. A few of them look like they're heading towards Dervish and Banges. There's not many, four, maybe five at most, but they could do some serious damage."

"Shit," Sirius gulped. "How can I help?"

"Get Moony or Wormtail to go to the Three Broomsticks and warn the teachers."

Sirius nodded. "And in the meantime?"

"You help me get them out."

"Got it. Is Adams with you?"

"Yeah, she's right here," James answered, momentarily tightening his hold on Susan's hand.

"Good," Sirius replied. "Just don't… don't keep her in the dark about this, okay?"

James simply nodded.

"Susan," he said, fitfully running one hand through his hair. "Go to Honeydukes and break into the cellar. There's a hidden passageway that will lead you safely back to Hogwarts."

"But, James—"

"No buts, I'll come after you soon. Please. Go."

Thankfully, Susan seemed to understand the urgency in James' voice and simply nodded in response, tightening the cloak around her neck.

"Be safe, okay?" Then she took a step forward and pressed her lips against his own in a chaste peck, as though it was just a goodnight's kiss and they'd see each other again in the morning.

Once James thought Susan was far away for him to be out of sight, he turned into Prongs and galloped his way to the other side of the village.

He got there in record time and, after ducking into an empty alleyway, he fished the mirror out of his cloak pocket once more.

"Sirius?"

He called time after time, but Sirius wasn't picking up.

James sighed; he'd have to figure out what to do by himself. He felt the urge to let panic overwhelm him but James wouldn't let his brain go there. He had to focus, to be rational and pragmatic, otherwise people could get hurt, and that would be on him. Counting on the fact that his mates would be sending most people back up to the castle, James decided at once that the best way to handle things would be to carefully approach the scene, gauge the situation at hand. Then he'd figure the rest out as he went.

He soon discovered that most of the action was happening near Dervish & Banges. Luckily, as he'd predicted, there weren't many students around any longer and for that he was grateful. Hopefully things wouldn't get too ugly.

There was a sudden crash behind him and James whipped around, trying to locate the source of the noise. He snatched his wand out of his pocket and raised it in apprehension, slowly looking around. He noticed a thin, hooded figure turned away from him across the street and smirked. They were alone. James could easily take them down one on one.

Maybe he'd been too hasty in his assumptions, as the wizard turned around at lightning speed upon hearing James' footsteps, slicing his left forearm with a sharp hex. Thankfully, James could feel that the cut wasn't deep, only just breaking his skin's surface, but the shock of the spell had sent him flying across the road. When he landed, he felt glass breaking.

At once, James scrambled up and, with adrenaline rushing through his bloodstream, managed to wordlessly freeze the Death Eater still. Panting heavily, he approached the immobilised man, whose hood had fallen back from his face. With venom, James paused momentarily to crack him on the nose.

One down, four to go.

Leaning against the wall of a nearby building, he tried calling Sirius one more time.

"What's it, Prongs? 'M sort of in the middle of something here!" There was a new bruise blooming on Sirius' temple, which James could see even through the cracked and tarnished mirror, but he wasn't too worried. He reckoned Sirius could handle himself.

"Where are the others?" James asked, his breathing still short.

"Remus went back with about twenty students or so. Pete's with me."

"Tell him to meet me by Zonko's. I need some backup."

Returning the mirror to his pocket, he headed for the joke shop. There he found a group of third years who'd taken refuge from the commotion behind Gladrags. Moments later, Peter materialised and, with his help, he escorted them inside the Post Office. They'd be mostly safe there. Still, James didn't want to take any chances.

"Stay with them for now," he asked. Peter gave a firm nod in response, settling behind the counter.

Before leaving, James passed the mirror over, in case he and Sirius ended up needing back-up.

"I'll come after you if you call," Peter said. "And I'll keep the kids safe."

James clapped him on the back and slipped back through the door. Peter watched him go.

At last, James reached the heart of the fight, hurrying down the street towards Dervish. There were spells and curses flying everywhere, ricocheting through the air. The snowy gravel beneath them glittered, illuminated red and green. James' instincts swiftly kicked in and he fired off a well-placed stinging hex into the throng. He spared a quick glance toward Sirius, who acknowledged him with a flick of his hair.

The two of them worked in tandem, back to back, two halves of the same machine. It was at times like these that he thanked himself for being so hard on the team during Quidditch practices. Though, of course, Sirius wasn't a part of the team anymore.

He felt himself being pulled from behind and the pair of them ducked behind a chunk of collapsed wall. Then, James heard a bang. The strangled cry that followed it made James launch back out into the street again.

Lily. He'd recognize the sound of her voice, her presence anywhere.

James' brain was processing new information at a million miles per hour, his eyes darting all over the place, seeking her out in a frenzy, but suddenly everything slowed. He spotted red hair, straying away from the main path.

James was thoroughly and completely gone.

"Lily!" he bellowed, running after her, the swollen wound on his forearm at the back of his mind. She could be hurt, he couldn't tell, but at least she was still standing. Why wasn't she turning back? "EVANS!"
Her neck snapped back at the familiar nickname, wand at the ready.

The first thing James noticed was her eyes, large and alert, shining green, powerful even in the middle of a battlefield. The second thing he noticed was the blood trickling down her neck.

James sprinted to her like his life depended on it, his calves burning, and, once he got close enough, he enveloped her, cradling her into his chest, his heart ramming against his ribcage. He felt as though his emotions were threatening to spill out of his body.

"Merlin, Lily, are you alright?" James shuddered into her hairline.

"Yeah, I'm alright," Lily said, and he pretended not to notice the way her hands were shaking. "Y—you?"

"I'm fine now. You had me so worried," he said, pulling her even closer. Reluctantly, James let go and smoothed some of the wild hair out of her face. Then, softly, he asked, "Would you kill me if I asked you to go back to the castle?"

Despite the roll of her eyes, Lily took a step closer to James and held one of his hands, toying with his knuckles.

"You fight, I fight, okay?"

James felt his lips stretch into his trademark lopsided grin, and he pressed his forehead against hers.

"Alright, Evans."


Susan had heard James. The part about Death Eaters. Sirius. She knew about the mirror, and the map.

She wasn't stupid.

She had heard the trembling in her boyfriend's voice, just as he was about to break up with her, which she'd already anticipated. It was as clear as water that the boy was absolutely in love with Lily Evans. Susan knew that he'd cared for her, in some way at least. Still, the relationship wasn't really fair on either of them. They weren't on the same page, rarely had been.

She'd always known it was going to happen eventually.

But she played dumb. She pretended not to know. She plastered on a smile, kissed her boyfriend goodbye, and headed off as if she was returning to the castle—but she wasn't.

People wouldn't usually think it when they met Susan but there was a core reason she was in Gryffindor. Sometimes bravery didn't manifest itself as reckless courage or foolish acts of heroism. Sometimes it meant taking one step after another, constantly moving forward, even when there was no way she'd come out on top.

She had to make sure she'd done all she could.

And so, when Susan reached Honeydukes, she didn't duck inside; she turned around and made her way in between the trees, head held high, until she found her purpose.


Once he'd found Lily, things were kind of a blur for James. He knew, after a fierce hour of back and forth duelling, hexes, blows, moves and countermoves, that they'd stopped the Death Eaters—or at least pushed them back—but he didn't really remember much else.

Ministry officials arrived shortly but not before the Death Eaters had already fled the scene. Even the one who James had immobilised had escaped, freed by an ally. James, Lily and the rest of the students who'd stayed behind to fight were then escorted back to the castle by Aurors; by the time James was back in touch with reality, ears still ringing, they were already safely behind closed doors, where Professor Hatheway was waiting for them.

"Well, thank goodness you've all made it out safely. I know some of you are hurt. Madame Pomfrey will be here shortly to deal with your injuries, but for now you'd be best waiting inside here and recuperating. I'm sure your friends will be happy to see you."

Inside the Great Hall, the four Heads of House were sitting along their corresponding house tables. Each of them held a long scroll, and slowly, the four professors read out the names of every single student who'd gone down to the Hogsmeade, checking meticulously that everyone had made it back.

Every Ravenclaw was safely inside the castle, as were the Hufflepuffs. Not long after, Professor Horace Slughorn reached the end of his list, worried and tired, his pale complexion even pastier than usual.

Quite suddenly, James noticed a tense look pass over Professor McGonagall's face. She leaned down to whisper in the Headmaster's ear. There was a pause, with some commotion on the staff table, before Hatheway made the announcement.

Two students were still missing, a Gryffindor and a Slytherin. One was Nikolai Mulciber, and it didn't seem as though he would be returning, seeing as his school trunk and belongings had disappeared with him. It was evident to most students that he'd been involved with the Death Eater attack.

The Gryffindor was Susan Adams. For a second, James genuinely thought he was going to choke. His vision blurred and he felt his heart jerk painfully inside his chest, desperate to jump out of his throat for what felt like the millionth time that day.

He didn't see Lizzy fall down on her knees, or Mary clutch at her mouth, or even feel Lily shaking by his side. He was consumed by a dark shroud of guilt and bitterness.