A message from Hplover4ever3: I feel as though this chapter is the most accurate depiction I can possibly present for an event that we only heard about but never got to see in canon. I only hope I have done justice and did not disappoint.
DaOneInDaCorner, this chapter is dedicated entirely to you. The words 'thank you' are not enough. You are my co-author, my motivation, and my guardian angel. There never comes a day that I regret starting this beautiful project with you.
So, readers, without further ado, I present an all-Sirius Black-perspective. Happy late Easter and enjoy..
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling. Thanks
CHAPTER 29: HOLIDAY SPECIAL III
It was as soon as he'd opened his eyes that morning that he realized something was off. He didn't even need to turn in bed to see that his friend was missing. The shrill sound of the grand clock in the sitting room ringing throughout the house told him enough. It was noon, and Draco was not with him.
Sirius forced himself out of bed in a panic and threw on the first sweatshirt he could find, scattered somewhere on his dresser. He pocketed his wand and flew to the door as fast as his legs would take him. Soon, he had Kreacher up against a wall with his fingers wrapped tightly around the elf's little neck as it choked and gasped for air.
"Where is he?" Sirius muttered through gritted teeth, not once caring that the elf's face was changing many colours before his eyes now.
"Gah...mer...ik...chen..."
Sirius let go of Kreacher's throat and the elf dropped to the floor, gasping.
"Kitchen," Sirius repeated. "You're sure?"
"Yes, Master Sirius," the elf managed to choke out, but Sirius ignored him and was already halfway down the stairs. Second floor...then first...he sped and nearly tripped several times, finally bursting through the double doors at the end of the narrow hallway leading to the basement kitchen. He blurted out "Draco, you alright?" as soon as the doors flew open. Draco and Regulus looked up from the long table in alarm. The three cooks beside them froze.
"Y-yeah," Draco said, staring at Sirius with confusion. "Why...why wouldn't I be?"
Sirius glanced at the three cooks on the side, all of whom now put whatever pots or pans they'd had in their hands on the table and lined up straight, bowing before Sirius.
"Master Sirius," the oldest of the three acknowledged.
Sirius ignored him and looked at Draco again. He was sitting cross-legged at the table, dressed and clean. Regulus had apparently been showing him some book when Sirius had entered. Sirius cleared his throat awkwardly.
"How, uh, how long have you been up?"
"Since eight," Regulus answered before Draco could say anything. Sirius glanced at his brother. "We ate with mother and father before they left."
"And no one thought to wake me," Sirius said. It wasn't a question. It was a fact. They never thought to wake him. He was always that one thing no one ever considered when it came to the Blacks.
"Great," he added, moving to take a seat across from them. His eyes on the table in front of him, he said, "Coffee, Katherine."
Katherine bowed once and waved her wand, summoning a steaming cup of coffee, black, just like Sirius liked it. He took the cup in his hands and nodded his thanks to her before taking a sip.
Regulus cleared his throat, putting the book away. "So, um...Draco and I were thinking of going down to the market later and getting fitted for new dress robes at that little antique shop in the corner."
Sirius looked up at Regulus. "What the fuck are you talking about? What for?"
Regulus raised an eyebrow and gestured at the two creamy white envelopes lying before him and Draco, which Sirius had failed to notice before. He looked down at them now with a perplexed expression, coffee still in hand. He read the miniscule writing upside down and suddenly it dawned upon him. He looked up at Regulus.
"Again?"
"You say that like it's always the same people getting married," Regulus said, smiling slightly. "Our family is quite big, Sirius. Get used to it."
Unlikely, thought Sirius, his eyes now falling on the envelope in front of Draco, which seemed to be sealed shut.
"You also got invited?"
Draco nodded and looked down at the envelope. "Your parents said it'll be a perfect opportunity for me to get to know the rest of your...uh, I mean our relatives."
"Swell," Sirius said, sipping his coffee.
"I'm looking forward to it actually," Draco added. Sirius glanced back up at him incredulously, and Draco let out a nervous laugh. "They're right, though, it'll give me a chance to meet everyone."
"Mother told him a bit about some of our relatives at breakfast," Regulus explained.
"And you wanna meet them, do you?" Sirius told Draco, who shrugged.
"I'm a Black anyway, I might as well know everybody if I'm gonna play the part."
Sirius scoffed and sipped his coffee again.
"Is there anything else Masters would like?" Lionel asked, now bowing before the boys at the end of the long table.
Sirius rolled his eyes. That Lionel was always such a kissass.
"You know, I'd fancy some more of that vanilla bun thing you served earlier," Draco said, turning in his seat and smiling at Lionel as though they were childhood friends. "It was epic."
"I am glad it was of enjoyment for you," Lionel answered, bowing again and fetching a plate full of buns in an instant.
Sirius continued to stare at Draco who smiled at Lionel and took one of the buns. It was then that Sirius realized just how different Draco looked. He was dressed very carefully, even though his clothes weren't new or polished or anything. His hair was pushed back and not messy at all. His face was insanely clean and he didn't look tired one bit, whereas Sirius knew that he himself looked like death. His hair was falling carelessly at his shoulders, his eyes were sunken and slightly red and he felt like he hadn't slept in years...one of the many great effects of Madame Pomfrey's cure-for-all stressless potion. He sipped his coffee again.
Regulus ate a bun too and started laughing with Draco over something that had happened earlier that morning with one of the servants in the sitting room and how apparently it was so epic and they still couldn't believe it had happened. Sirius looked up from his coffee again and narrowed his eyes at Regulus. He was wearing one of his best suits, was also very clean, and had his hair tied back in a braid, much like their father always did. That's why he looked so different that morning. Never, in all fifteen years that he'd been alive, had he ever done that with his hair before. And seeing him do it now made Sirius feel sick in his stomach.
"It's gonna be great anyway," Regulus concluded, finishing the last vanilla bun and sitting back in his chair.
Draco shrugged. "I dunno, I don't really care much for weddings. But I guess it's something to look forward to." He paused and looked down at his own, unopened invitation. "When is it anyway?"
"Next Tuesday," Regulus answered without checking twice.
"How exciting," Sirius muttered without looking at the pair of them. "I can hardly wait."
He knew exactly how it would play out. He'd been to these weddings too many times before, and every single one was worse than the last. All their precious relatives marvelled at how well Regulus was doing or how proud they were or how everyday he grew more and more like his father. And then, when they finally remembered that Regulus had an older brother, they started asking him if he was still in counselling and how his therapy was going. His parents had thought it wise to tell their relatives tales of how Sirius was handling his 'differences' well and with maturity. Well, at least they'd never tried actually putting him in therapy, so there was that.
"You should be excited," Regulus now said, catching Sirius off guard. "Our cousins are gonna be there, we haven't met up in a while."
"The cousins are really somethin'," Sirius muttered, his eyes on his nearly empty coffee cup.
"There will be drinks most likely," Draco said.
Sirius looked up to find him grinning. Now he was talking like the Draco that Sirius knew.
When Sirius finished his coffee, Regulus insisted on continuing the oh so epic tour of their grand home. According to him, Draco had so far only seen the third floor and the two boys' bedrooms. They were now up to the second floor working their way down, and Sirius insisted on accompanying them, even though he knew he'd rather do just about anything than tour the house he so despised. But he had promised himself, and he intended on keeping the promise—he wasn't going to leave Draco alone in this house with anyone for even a second.
On the whole, Draco seemed pretty intrigued with the tour, though Sirius couldn't imagine why. He listened intently as Regulus outlined various objects and different rooms throughout the house. He even asked questions. A lot. Sirius almost started to think Draco wanted to learn about their family. He, on the other hand, kept the same position in every room they entered—arms folded in front of him and head leaning back against the wall, waiting for it to be over. After just the third room, he began chewing this muggle chewing gum thing and blowing bubbles with it to pass off the boring hours. Neither boy paid much attention to him.
"But wouldn't it be easy for the muggles to find you?" Draco asked once they left the fourth room on the second floor and started for the end of the corridor back to the first floor. "Wouldn't it take just one simple phone call to some official place and then a bit investigating for them to realize that they numbered the houses wrong or that house twelve is missing?"
"Father put every security measure known to wizardkind on this house," Regulus explained, leading the way. "It's also unplottable, so muggles can never come or call. They have no idea it exists."
"Hah," said Draco, following him into the drawing room at the end of the corridor. Sirius rolled his eyes and walked in with them.
They stopped in the middle of the room and Draco looked around, his mouth hanging slightly open as he examined the tapestry on the wall with the shiny golden thread embroidered like a sprawling family tree dating back to the very Middle Ages.
"Holy..." he said, moving closer to examine the details of the tapestry. "This is...wow..."
Sirius scowled at the cursive golden letters scribbled on the top of the tapestry—The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black—and moved to the opposite wall to assume his position, his eyes falling on the windows with the street view. It had been a while since he'd been back in this room. He never went there because he couldn't care less whom he was associated to, and that was the very reason this room existed. The names on the walls...the glorious connections...the whole lot of them were people he would leave behind and never look back. Except for Andromeda, of course. Come to think of it, there was a slight possibility that she would be at this Black wedding next week. Maybe it'd be worth it to go and see her. See how she was doing. His eyes fell on her name on the tapestry, just above Bellatrix and Narcissa, and he smiled. It had been too long.
"Why 'Toujours Pur'?" Draco was now saying, gesturing at the small letters written underneath the tapestry title. "I saw it on some of the plates earlier too."
"It's the Black Family Motto," Regulus said. "It's also on our crest. It's the saying that identifies us as Blacks. If you are a Black, you know the motto. And all wizardkind know this notion too."
"What's it mean?" Draco wondered, looking up at the tapestry again with interest.
"Always pure," Sirius answered from his corner. Both boys turned to look at him and he laid his eyes on Draco with somewhat sarcasm. "Meaning if you're a Black, you're forever pure and never less."
"Oh," said Draco, turning back to the tapestry as if this meant nothing. Sirius frowned slightly but said nothing as his friend continued to eye the names. "Who's this guy?"
"Uncle Alphard," Regulus said, looking at where Draco was pointing at one of the higher names on the tapestry. "He's a really smart guy and he's always been nice to us especially. I personally think it's just to put mother in her place. She and father don't like him very much. They disagree with him over many things."
"Who is he to them?" said Draco.
"Mother's younger brother," said Regulus. "She used to be quite fond of him when they were kids, she tells me, but then he stopped listening to her after he became a teenager and then he went off on his own for a while and came back and just wouldn't stop arguing with her." Regulus frowned. "He said he'd had enough of her bossing him around their whole lives. I don't reckon they've spoken in years now."
"Hmm," said Draco, moving along the wall to examine other names. Sirius's eyes moved back to the windows and he started to wonder how come he'd never tried these ones as an escape route for a change. He'd always gone for the ones in the upstairs guest bedroom on the left, and they were a lot harder to climb down from. But now that he was of age, he didn't need to worry about that sort of rubbish. A simple transformation ought to do the trick. But still...he could've saved himself so much trouble all these years if he'd just thought to maybe try these windows. They led right to the muggle streets and they weren't even a far climb down!
"There's like four Siriuses on here, which one are you?" Draco said, snapping Sirius's attention back to him.
"Hmm?" he said, lifting himself slightly from the wall.
"Right down here," Regulus answered, pointing at Sirius's place on the tapestry, right at the bottom of the tree. "And I'm here next to him, see?"
"Why're you guys so down?" said Draco.
"Because we're the youngest Blacks alive today," said Regulus. "When we reproduce, the tree will grow stems and our children's names will be added along here and just right there, see?"
"Oh," said Draco again. He then frowned and looked around the room. "It's so empty, is it just meant for the tapestry?"
Sirius looked around as well. It was true. As long as he'd lived in this house, he'd never seen any furniture in this particular room, though he'd often wondered if it had once been a Black's bedroom, since there were windows.
"...but we hardly go in here..." Regulus was now saying. "But these are the people you'll probably see at the wedding next week." He pointed at a corner of the tree. "They're almost always at the weddings. And I'm really excited for you to see her again...she's one of my favourites. And her sister will probably be there too. Hmm, you kind of look like her too so maybe it's possible that you're from that line of the Blacks and not ours specifically. Mother seems to think so, anyway."
Draco nodded silently and observed where the name Narcissa was outlined beautifully just next to Bellatrix. Sirius scoffed. He'd hardly call them his favourite cousins, and Andy would agree.
"Bellatrix will be there?" Draco said, his eyes still on the name Narcissa.
"Oh for sure," Regulus said. "She loves the weddings. I'm not sure if Narcissa will be...probably. Or at least, I hope she will. I haven't seen her in ages."
"Yeah," said Draco.
"And their older sister Andromeda," Regulus added, pausing. "She's nice too I guess. I don't know if she'll be there though."
"She's brilliant," Sirius spoke up, catching the boys' attention again. Draco finally turned away from the tapestry to look at him. "She's brilliant and if she's not there next week then it's because she's a smart girl."
Draco nodded slowly, a puzzled expression on his face. He turned to Regulus.
"You said your mother thinks I'm from that line of Blacks?" Regulus nodded. "When did you talk to her?"
Sirius frowned at his brother. Indeed, when?
"Well," said Regulus, looking from one boy to the other with a nervous smile. "You guys went to sleep pretty early last night..."
"And?" said Sirius, moving away from the wall. "What, you guys got together again in the kitchen to discuss that hateful dinner?"
"No," Regulus tried, "I just...well I mean, mother had some insightful things to...to say..."
"Yeah, like what?" Sirius said, approaching his brother with both hands clenched into fists, ready to punch at moment's notice.
Draco moved quickly to stand somewhat in the way and turned to Regulus.
"What'd she say, Reg?"
"Yeah Reg, what'd she say?" Sirius repeated in a tone full of mockery which Draco ignored.
Regulus glanced once at Sirius before answering Draco, "She seems to think that the reason you're missing from this tree is because you're an unclaimed Black."
"A what?" said Sirius and Draco together.
"An unclaimed Black," Regulus repeated. "You were never claimed by a Black. You...you were abandoned..."
"So what?" Sirius shot at him. "Our family has had its fair share of whores with bastard children. Not a single one of them is on here, even though they're all still Black blood. Fuck, it pisses me off how she still keeps trying to prove his worth!"
"Sirius, she's not," Regulus began. "She...you can't understand it. It's...Draco's case is something that's never happened before." He turned to their friend. "And it's even worse that everyone knows you were raised by Dumbledore."
Draco nodded slowly and Sirius turned to look at him with a confused expression. The two boys in front of him exchanged dark looks and then Draco pulled out a folded newspaper from his back pocket and handed it to Sirius. Sirius unfolded it. There, on the cover of that morning's Prophet, was a photograph of the three boys on the station platform, dodging the camera flashes and trying to move through the curious crowd. A big headline at the top of the page read The Prodigal Black is Home at Last. Sirius looked at up Draco.
"That's all anyone's gonna be talking about now," Draco said, quietly, looking disgusted himself.
Sirius gave him a long, hard look which Draco reciprocated, but neither said a word. Sirius then looked down at the paper in his hands again and shook his head. Those damn idiots...
Bringing Draco here for the holidays had been a big mistake.
"What does it matter, anyway?" Regulus now said, clapping his hands once. "Our family is famous. Why shouldn't we be on the cover of the Daily Prophet?"
Sirius rolled his eyes but Draco gave Regulus a smile and turned back to the tapestry on the wall. Sirius began to move away from them, still examining the paper and somewhat walking about the room, skimming the article written by a very nosey wizard with whom he'd argued once in Diagon Alley, years ago.
Several silent minutes passed, and then a gasp later, Draco spun round on his heel to face a startled-looking Sirius.
"What is it?" Sirius said at once.
"Longbottom!" Draco cried, his finger pointing at the name Harfang Longbottom.
"Oh," Sirius said carelessly. "Yeah, so?"
"So?!" Draco repeated incredulously. "You...you're related to Frank!"
Sirius smiled. "What did you expect?" Draco frowned. "All the pureblood families are interrelated. They'd have to be if they only marry their own kind."
"But he's not on here!" Draco cried, turning back to the tapestry and scanning it quickly.
"He wouldn't be," Sirius said, saving him time. "He's not a direct Black."
"What's that mean?" said Draco.
"He's a Black by marriage," Regulus clarified, looking thoroughly disgusted of course. "Not by blood."
"Oh," said Draco, turning back to Sirius. "But...he's still related to you then?"
Sirius shrugged. "We're like...second cousins in law or something, I dunno." He paused, giving Draco a smirk. "There's a Potter somewhere on there too."
Draco's eyes went round and he spun again, no doubt to search for the name. Sirius let out a laugh and pointed his finger at the precise area where the name would be found. Moments later, Draco was reading the name Charlus Potter, married to Dorea, daughter of one Cygnus Black.
"Wow," Draco said, "So basically, James's parents are like, cousins to...your parents..."
"By marriage," Regulus corrected, "Not by blood."
Sirius rolled his eyes and nodded at Draco, who turned back to the tapestry.
"James and I are like, third cousins in law," Sirius added momentarily. Draco didn't turn to look at him this time but only nodded, continuing to examine the tree, no doubt in search for the rest of the marauders. Sirius smiled. "They won't be on there. The Pettigrews never wed into our family and the Lupins...well...let's just say they're...outsiders..."
"Because they're weird, that's why," Regulus said to the room at large. "They're always moving around. They never stay in one spot."
Draco looked round at Sirius who gave him a prominent look before answering Regulus, "Some people don't like staying in the same place for very long."
"Well anyway," Regulus said, moving toward the tapestry again with a bright smile on his face, "See here, Draco? These are the more interesting parts of the tree. Nearly all my friends' family names are on here! There's Druella Rosier right there, and Caspar Crouch is just over here—"
"Has anyone else had enough of memory lane?" Sirius said, but he was thoroughly ignored.
Regulus continued to point at various spots on the tapestry and Draco ooh'd and aww'd and asked questions. It was official. Sirius was on his own.
"Stand up straight, Sirius," said Orion as he stood back and watched Lionel fix Sirius's bowtie. "Straighter than that, go on."
"Yes father," said Sirius, straightening up as high as he could.
"Do you remember where you need to stand when the guests arrive?" Walburga asked him.
Sirius nodded his head, silently biting back the pain from Lionel tying the material around his neck too tight.
"This is a very important party, Sirius, I want you to remember that," his mother reminded him. "All these people are coming from afar to wish you luck for next week."
"I know, mother," Sirius said. "I promise I'll be good."
"Oh I know you will," she said, smiling at him. He smiled back. She'd been nothing but pleasant ever since he'd gotten his Hogwarts letter. He had to admit that it had been nice being friends again. He had never gotten along with his parents very well, but the way they were treating him now, well...he could get easily used to this.
"It's not fair," Regulus whined from the corner for the thousandth time that day.
"Hush Regulus," said Orion, his eyes on Sirius with a proud expression. "Your turn will come just next year."
"But how come Sirius gets to go first?" Regulus whined. "And how come he gets this huge party? I want a party too!"
Sirius looked at his brother and scoffed. He was such a pain in the neck. He was always jealous of Sirius getting to do everything first. But it wasn't like it was his fault for being the older brother! And besides, Sirius wasn't going to let him ruin this party for him. He'd never been to a Black party before but his parents finally thought he was ready, which meant that he must've done something right to prove his worth. He could hardly wait to prove them right.
"And you shall get one," Walburga assured Regulus, who was still whining. "Alright Lionel, that's enough." Lionel bowed once and moved away from Sirius so that his parents could examine him in the brand new dress robes that he'd been fitted for. He looked down at them and then up at his parents. He looked just like his father now.
"Perfect," his father said, looking pleased. "You're ready to see the world, son."
Sirius beamed at him.
Yes, he was ready.
"So how come only one Longbottom is on that tree then?" Draco asked as the boys finally left the drawing room and started down the corridor. "I mean, yeah, Frank isn't a direct Black, but I'm sure he has some relatives who are?"
"Maybe," said Regulus, "But that still wouldn't be enough to land them in the family tree."
"But why?"
"Because only the real Blacks make it to the tree," Regulus said, pausing suddenly to look at Draco with worry. "I mean...you know, you're not really a factor here, your situation is completely different...I just meant..."
"Yeah, yeah," Draco said, nodding quickly. "I'm not offended, I'm just asking."
"Right," Regulus said, starting to walk again.
Sirius followed after them silently.
"Basically, your friend Frank Longbottom has maybe one seventh Black blood in his system," Regulus went on, "That doesn't exactly qualify him a spot on the family tree."
"Who does qualify then?" said Draco.
Regulus thought for a minute. "Well, I'm not sure, but I'd say those who are full Black, half Black, third or even quarter. But I've never seen anyone on that tree that's got less than a quarter of Black blood in their system. And also, only one or two generations are added to the tree if you're wed into the family. So that's why there's only one Longbottom on there. Just because our family wed them, doesn't mean they are all suddenly gonna end up on the tree, know what I mean?"
Draco shook his head. "It's confusing, man."
"You don't need to care about that stuff," Sirius told him once they finally reached the end of the corridor.
They sidestepped the statues of elves' heads and reached the main entranceway, finally deciding to settle in one of the lounge areas. Sirius collapsed on one of the couches and the other two sat side by side on another.
"So what about Kreacher then?" Draco said.
"What about him?" Sirius sighed. He couldn't understand why they were still talking about this and what possible appeal it could have to Draco.
"Well the Longbottoms and the Crouches and the Rosiers and all those other people who are sort of related to you guys but not really," said Draco, "Would they have the power to boss Kreacher around, given that some of them still technically have Black blood in their systems?"
"No," Regulus answered. "No one can boss Kreacher around except for direct family."
Sirius gave Draco a look and then smiled sarcastically. "We've been blessed with his gracious presence for the rest of our lives."
Draco smirked and turned back to Regulus. "You say you're gonna get him one day, right?"
Regulus shrugged, trying to hide that pathetic smile of his. He had never failed to remind Sirius that he would be getting the elf once their parents went. Not that it mattered, anyway. Sirius had no intention of keeping the elf and knew that if, for whatever reason, Regulus went before him and he ended up with the elf, he'd probably choke it to death before the forms could be signed.
Draco thought long and hard and then turned to Sirius. "What do you get?"
Sirius stared at him. "What?"
"What do you get once your parents go?" Draco repeated in all seriousness.
The two brothers exchanged looks as if it was the most ridiculous question ever asked.
"You're still a Black," Draco pointed out. "You're one of the most important Blacks, as far as I can tell. You guys are royalty. There is no way that you'd be left with nothing."
"I..." said Sirius, not sure what to say.
"Sirius is the older brother," Regulus began, "So if we're bound by ancient laws, which we are, he'd be entitled to sixty percent of our family's profits whereas I'd be entitled to forty."
"Plus the elf," said Draco.
Regulus smirked. "Yeah, plus the elf."
Rolling his eyes again, Sirius pulled out his wand and waved it at the fireplace. It lit up at once and started making nice, homey crackling noises in the corner, making the room warm up considerably. He stretched on the couch and let his head rest back. Though he wasn't hungover anymore, he could still feel a massive headache lurking on the edge and just waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. He wasn't sure whether it was because he'd taken a bit more than the recommended dosage of Madame Pomfrey's stressless potion last night, or the fact that Draco was acting so at-home here, that made Sirius want to vomit.
After supper, the boys dressed and headed over to that marketplace to get fitted for robes. By then, Regulus had reached the tales of Phineas Nigellus and how the Blacks were most proud to have provided one of their own as a Hogwarts Headmaster long ago...the only headmaster, in fact, to have been housed in Slytherin.
"So all your family have been Slytherins," Draco said as they walked along the snowy muggle streets.
"Ninety nine percent Slytherin," Regulus said, proudly.
"Hold it," Sirius said, finally speaking up since they'd left the house. "Draco's a Black too, and he's also a Gryffindor, so technically, technically," he pointed a finger at Regulus, "The family's less than ninety nine percent Slytherin." Regulus stopped walking and glared at Sirius, who now smiled at him and shrugged.
"Technically," he added to Regulus, still speechless.
Sirius patted Draco once on the shoulder and then proceeded to lead the way to that antique shop.
The rest of the day wasn't as painful as the morning had been. After the shop, the boys walked around a bit more, getting Draco familiar with the area where they lived, and then headed back to the house for dinner with their parents. This time, Sirius saw just how pushy his parents could be. They continued to question Draco as though they were contemplating what to do with him and whether he was worth keeping around. Whenever the subject of Dumbledore came up, his mother made a disgusting face and his father grew intensely serious and put his fingers together on the table. But Draco seemed like he was being very careful about what he was saying, and wisely so. Sirius could only imagine what his parents' reactions would be if they knew the whole truth...about Draco's weekly lessons with Dumbledore, about how much 'brainwashing' he must be undergoing in Gryffindor on a daily basis, all of it. The thought of it brought a smile to Sirius's face, and when he caught his mother's eye and saw the look that she gave him, he looked back down at his barely-touched plate again.
The stairs below creaked slightly with every step that he took, but Sirius was intent on hearing every bit of this conversation, so he continued to pursue them as carefully and as lightly as he possibly could. He could hear the voices from the room below but they were still hard to make out. He finally reached the bottom of the stairs and dropped to his knees so that he could keep balanced on both feet. Then, he strained his ears.
"...I don't see why you won't just hear me out..." his mother was saying, among other things Sirius hear.
Frustrated, he tried moving along the corridor to maybe get closer to the closed door of the sitting room, but one of the stairs behind him creaked and he flew back, terrified.
"Reg!" he hissed into the darkness. Regulus moved down the last couple of steps, barefooted and in his pajamas. "What are you doing here? Go back!"
"I wanna come with you!" Regulus whispered, putting his hands together as though begging.
"I said go back!"
Sirius tried shoving him away but his brother was being unusually persistent, holding his arm stubbornly even though Sirius kept trying to shake it off. He finally gave up trying to get rid of him and resorted to moving closer to the room so he could hear his parents' conversation better. Regulus followed on his tiptoes until the both of them had finally reached the wall adjacent to the room. They both knelt down so they were on ground level and Sirius brought a finger to his lips and gave Regulus a hard look. Regulus nodded back.
"I'm just saying that it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world," Walburga was saying.
"We've already discussed this before, many times, and the answer is still no," Orion said.
It sounded like he was pacing about the room. Sirius could just imagine how that looked. His father pacing angrily and his mother leaning back against the desk with a glass of wine in her hand and that angry look on her face.
"Orion," she said now, "You weren't there when he talked to me. You didn't hear the things that he said to me." There was a pause. "I swear, it is as if we brought our own son to the party and came home with a stranger! I've never seen him acting like this before!"
"He was just probably overwhelmed by the crowd," Orion said. "There were at least a hundred people there, Walburga."
"It's not a crowd issue," she argued. "He told me that he was terrified to see those people again because apparently he didn't like some of the things that they were telling him or asking him. Our friends, our family, Orion! He's afraid of them! Do you understand how serious this is?"
"Walburga—"
"He's always been different! You know this yourself, why are you arguing with me here?! Can you just imagine how much worse it's going to get if he gets on that train tomorrow?"
"He's eleven—"
"—almost twelve actually," she snapped back, "And for twelve, he's not acting the way he should be. It's about time he put away those stupid car models and those weird muggle comic books and he started acting like a real Black."
"And he will, in the promise of time," Orion assured her. "He's a kid. Let him be a kid for now."
"Fine," said Walburga, probably throwing her arms in the air like she liked to do during fights. "Fine, let him be a kid. But in the right school."
There was another pause.
"What is that supposed to mean?" said Orion.
"Ow," Regulus hissed in Sirius's ear, shifting on the floor. Sirius shushed him again and moved closer to the door.
"It means that if we send him to Hogwarts and he starts talking to people who are not pureblood...people who are not Slytherins...Orion, we are never going to get our son back. That will be the end of it."
"We will deal with that when and if we get to it," Orion said. "I am the man of this house. And as long as I am alive, I shall have the final say. My son will go to Hogwarts School and he will be sorted into Slytherin. I will not have it any other way." His footsteps neared the doorway and Regulus started to pull Sirius's sleeve but he shrugged him off and listened further. His father stopped at the door.
"I do not want to hear talk of Durmstrang again in this house."
Later in the evening, Sirius finally managed to pull Draco away from his demented family and into his own room where he'd be safe from evil and manipulation. Once they were alone, Sirius pulled out a deck of cards and sat with his friend on his bed.
"I think that dinner went rather well," Draco offered as Sirius dealt. "Better than last night's did, anyway. Don't you think?"
"Mm," said Sirius, shrugging simply.
"And way better than breakfast this morning," Draco added, a little more quietly this time.
Sirius looked up at him, having stopped dealing the cards. Draco snuck a glance at him.
"Why didn't you wake me?" Sirius asked. Draco started to say something but he continued. "And don't feed me that nonsense about how you thought I was tired and how I should get some sleep and how you were fine because you were with Regulus. What, you don't think I know that little prick well by now? He's only my goddamn brother."
"Sirius—"
"I told you before that I regretted bringing you here...that I didn't think you were ready to meet the likes of my family...you knew how much it bothered me and how serious I was about keeping you safe from their influence...why didn't you wake me?"
"I wanted to," said Draco, quickly. Sirius looked at him and Draco sighed. "I did, really. But..."
"But what?"
"You have all these opinions that are already set in. For life. You're never gonna change them, I know you won't. And...and Regulus is my friend too. He's just as much my family as you are. And his opinions are so different from yours."
"Wait, what are you saying exactly?" said Sirius, having forgotten about the cards altogether.
Draco hesitated. "I'm saying that you should listen to Remus." Sirius frowned. "I'm saying that I want to see it all for myself and make my own opinions."
"Or maybe you just want to be showered with all the fake love and riches that they throw at you," Sirius said bitterly, and Draco raised his eyebrows and stared at him.
"What?" he hissed, looking hurt by the betrayal of Sirius's words.
Sirius looked away from him and pushed some of the cards on the bed.
"Say that again," Draco challenged, his tone of voice suddenly different. Suddenly like...Orion's.
Sirius looked at the clueless boy sitting on his bed. He had no idea what he was putting himself up against. But he was right. He'd have to find out on his own.
"I'm sorry," Sirius offered, his voice quiet. "It's...it's been a long day."
Draco swallowed and nodded slowly.
"It's hard, you know?" Sirius added momentarily. "Being back here and all...it brings up a lot of old, unresolved things."
"Yeah, I'm sure," Draco said. "But..." Sirius looked up at him. "You've got to have more faith in me, man. I know what I'm doing!"
"Yeah but—"
"I know, I know. You don't think I know what I'm dealing with here. You think that I'm naïve and that I don't know them like you do. And yeah, maybe you're right. But Sirius, I'm a grown person. I can protect myself and I know what I will and will not stand."
Sirius wanted to laugh but decided against it. Draco would just have to see for himself. That was all that Sirius could do in this case.
"You worry too much, mate." Sirius looked up at his friend incredulously and Draco let out a laugh before adding, "Come on, deal me."
When Sirius awoke the next morning, it was once again with the knowledge that Draco was not in his room. At least he hadn't slept till noon this time. In fact, it was barely ten o'clock. He sighed but took his time getting up, knowing now that wherever Draco was, whatever he was doing, he was glad to be doing it. And he supposed he'd have to take his friend's word on it—that he knew what he was doing and that he should trust him.
Instead of going out to find Draco, Sirius shifted over to his desk and pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and dipped his quill in some ink. He thought for a long couple of minutes, and then began to write.
"Hey, it's about time!" Draco cried when Sirius appeared in the sitting room about a quarter past eleven.
There was a grand tree sparkling at the end of the room with twinkling lights tied around the fireplace and all along the walls, making the whole room surprisingly warm and festive. Sirius didn't recognize any of the decorations which told him that they had been recently purchased.
"Hi," he said, moving to sit on the carpet near where Draco and Regulus looked to be in the middle of an intense game of Wizard's Chess. "Where is everyone?"
"Mother and father are out again today," Regulus answered without looking up. "They'll be back in time for dinner."
"What do they do all day long?"
Regulus shrugged, his eyes on the board in front of him. "Knight to H3."
His piece moved and shoved Draco's pawn out of the board, taking its place. Draco laughed and crossed his legs, leaning forward. Sirius moved to sit on the couch and stared at him. He looked so...happy...so...at home. He looked like the best version of himself that he could possibly be. At Hogwarts, he'd sometimes had these moments where you could tell he was trying hard not to say what was on his mind or act out on something irrationally. You could tell that there was always something else going on than he showed...something deeper. But here, it wasn't like that at all. Here, he looked comfortable.
Draco let out a triumphant laugh as his queen crossed one of Regulus's knights, thus achieving a perfect checkmate. Regulus clapped his hands for a few seconds and then began to clean off the board. Draco sighed happily and turned to Sirius.
"You hungry?"
Sirius shrugged. "I could eat."
Draco sat up. "LIONEL!"
His shout made Sirius jump slightly, but Regulus only looked up with a confident smile. Lionel was in the room in an instant, bowing before Draco.
"Make us a couple of those cheese sandwiches you were talking about earlier," Draco instructed. "Oh and also bring coffee." He looked at Sirius. "You take cream and sugar?"
Sirius opened his mouth a little but didn't say anything. Draco smirked and looked back at Lionel.
"Tell you what, bring both, okay?"
"Yes, Master Draco," Lionel said, bowing once before disappearing from the room.
Regulus looked at Sirius, beaming. "He's a natural, isn't he?"
Sirius smiled back, though the smile never reached his eyes. He looked around again and then raised his eyebrows at Regulus. "I take it Lionel is behind all this?"
Regulus gave him a questionable look. "Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, Sirius. You know how it works. They put the decorations up today and—"
"—and take them down in two days, I know," Sirius finished, sighing deeply.
"Two days?" said Draco.
"Well, Christmas night," Regulus corrected. "Or even on the 26th, in the morning before you're up." When Draco frowned, Regulus added, "We're not really that big on Christmas."
After that late breakfast, the boys dressed and went back to that antique shop again to change Regulus's bowtie, which he apparently was unhappy with that morning. This alone kept them busy there for a good hour as Regulus insisted on trying on different ties and hearing the stories behind their designs from the clerk. It seemed that the crown would fall off his head if he didn't get a tie that had a unique story behind it.
When they returned back to the house, they saw that the servants had put up even more decorations to make it look like the family was big on Christmas when it in fact wasn't. Sirius knew the drill of course. They'd sit down on Christmas Eve, do the whole feast thing, then wake up the next day with presents and then the decorations would be gone and it'd be just like any other day. He'd spent his entire childhood doing Christmas this way. Well, except for first year. But back then, he wasn't exactly in the mood for any Christmas rubbish. That was for sure.
"How about another round? Go on, mate, how 'bout it?"
"I dunno," Sirius said, shrugging James's hand off his shoulder and continuing to stare into the fireplace angrily.
"Oh come on!" James continued. "Look, I'll let you start first even though I won the last one, okay?"
Sirius glanced at his excited friend, then at the pile of chess pieces on the carpet and then shook his head and turned back to the fireplace.
"Lighten up, Sirius!" Peter cried from the opposite couch. "It's Christmas!"
"Yeah," Sirius grumbled, his eyes still on the fireplace. "It's Christmas and my own family doesn't want me at home."
"Forget about them," James told him. Sirius scoffed but James added, "No really, forget about them! Look, I'm gonna show you something. Something brilliant. Something that's gonna knock you off your hypothetical broom!"
"Oooh, such big words for such a small boy," said that tall second year boy with the messy hair. He came down the stairs now and winked at the boys.
"You don't have to be so mean all the time, you know," Remus called out to him, suddenly sitting up on the couch. Sirius hadn't even noticed that he'd woken from his nap. He looked very green now that he looked at him, but his friend didn't seem to care as his own eyes were still on that boy.
"No, no, it's okay," James said quickly, giving Remus a warning look that meant it was time to shut up.
The older boy laughed, shaking his head, and left the common room. James sighed, still looking after him.
"One day, Frank Longbottom will be our best friend," he declared. "And we're all gonna be hanging out with his friends all the time. You'll see."
"Unlikely," Remus scoffed, sitting back on the couch.
There was a pause.
"Are you sure you don't want to go see the nurse?" Peter asked him. "You look like you're gonna be sick again."
"I'm fine," Remus mumbled, hugging the pillow closer to his stomach. "It's just a flu...stomach...thing..."
Sirius looked at him worriedly and silently kicked himself for not making his friends go home for the holidays like they were supposed to. Sure, he'd initially protested, but he could've done more. Now, they were stuck here with him for the next two weeks, out of sheer pity. And what on earth would their own families think? He didn't want to be anyone's charity case. But even the thought of being here in the common room alone for two weeks was more unbearable than the thought of rereading his mother's latest letter.
James punched Sirius's arm again to get his attention. "So, wanna see it now?"
Sirius sighed and waved his arms in surrender. James beamed at him and hurriedly began shuffling through his bag. Sirius sat there, watching him and thinking. It was so embarrassing to have to tell his new friends that his family was so twisted that they'd banish him from coming home for the holidays, all because he'd been sorted into the wrong house... The way James spoke made Sirius think that he came from a very decent pureblood family. Remus and Peter too. For them, Sirius's family must've seemed like such a demented lot.
James finally pulled out a long-looking, dark quilt of some kind with fancy patterns that shimmered in the firelight.
Sirius raised his eyebrows at his new friend. "That's it? That's what you wanted to show me?"
"It's just a blanket!" cried Peter.
"Nope," James said, still grinning broadly. He jumped to his feet and unfolded it out. "It's a cloak, see?"
"Okay, a cloak," Sirius said. "What's so special about a cloak?"
Never seizing to smile, James pulled the cloak over himself and covered his body with it. At once, it vanished before the boys' eyes.
"Whoa!" Peter gasped, jumping to his feet. Remus's eyes went round and Sirius himself was now grinning as he slowly got to his feet in front of James and reached out to touch where James's left shoulder should've been. And indeed, he felt it, but he couldn't see it.
"That's an invisibility cloak!" Peter cried, hopping excitedly. "I wanna try! I wanna try!"
"Where'd you get it?" Remus asked, not moving from the couch.
"My father gave it to me," James told him proudly. "He said it's been passed down in our family for generations and that one day I'll give it away to my son too."
"That's bloody brilliant, mate," Sirius said, ignoring Peter's hopping around and about.
"Told you it'd cheer you up," James said, looking pleased. "Anyway, that's not all."
"There's more?"
"Uh-huh," James took off the cloak. "I was exploring the castle the other night and I found the entranceway to the kitchens." The boys all exchanged looks and James smiled wickedly at Sirius. "Care for a midnight stroll in search of a midnight snack?"
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but then James made the ultimate best friend gesture, and handed him the cloak.
The boys spent the next couple of hours before dinner in the drawing room once again, where Draco asked loads more questions, this time focusing more on family histories...who married whom and how many children they had and what schools they'd attended and which of them had been in Professor Slughorn's precious little club.
"He's been inviting the Blacks to his parties for decades now," Regulus kept repeating. He absolutely adored the professor and never failed to remind his parents that Sirius was not a member of the club.
"And why doesn't that surprise me?" his mother would say. "He's always been an odd one, hasn't he, Orion?"
"Who?" his father would say, giving him a sharp look and then taking his drink out of the room.
According to him, Sirius was as good as dead.
Dinner that evening was slightly different than it had been the last two nights. Rather than asking Draco questions about his past with Dumbledore, Orion and Walburga instead asked him questions about his time at Hogwarts and who he was surrounding himself with. He made a point to mention Severus Snape more, and the Marauders less. Sirius found this to be a particularly interesting detail and inadvertently avoided Draco's eyes during dinner. Orion seemed the most interested out of all of them in whatever Draco had to say, whereas Walburga just sipped her wine and watched him, as though deciding whether he was a cockroach that needed to be squashed, or a slightly worthier bug. She, unlike Orion, would take her sweet time to give Draco her blessing.
"What position do you play?" Orion asked once Draco mentioned Quidditch.
Sirius scoffed. As if he didn't already know...
"I'm the team advisor actually," Draco answered, looking Orion directly in the eye. "I substitute for players every now and then but my official title is advisor."
"What does that mean?" Walburga asked.
Draco thought for a minute before answering. "It means that I help the captains strategize and plan for every match."
"Captains?" said Orion. "Since when does a team have more than one captain?"
"Since James made me the co-captain and you bloody well know it," Sirius blurted out before quickly adding a very sarcastic "sir".
His father turned his head slightly in his direction, gave him a long, disapproving look, and then turned back to Draco with a relaxed expression.
"That must mean you are a chameleon," he said to him. Draco frowned. "An adapter of all things...it is a very powerful skill to have."
Draco gave him a grateful smile and continued to eat. Orion and Walburga exchanged a look only Sirius seemed to notice and then proceeded to drink their wine. Sirius glanced at Draco again, who didn't look up.
"You know, I played a fair amount of Quidditch in my day," Orion began to say now.
"Did you really?" Regulus said with interest.
"I was a fair player, I'll admit to that," Orion said, holding his head up with a proud smile on his face.
"Well you'll have to show me sometime, Mr. Black," Draco said casually.
Sirius stared at his father as he smiled at Draco.
"Please," he said, "Call me Orion."
Draco smiled back.
Around the time dessert was served, Sirius had had enough and was ready to excuse himself to bed any minute. But before he could have the chance to do so, his mother asked Draco the one question Sirius had hoped she wouldn't. And once she did, there was no turning back.
"How do you like your bedroom for your stay?"
Draco glanced at Sirius who cleared his throat to get his mother's attention.
"He's been staying with me, actually," he informed her.
The fake pleasant look on her face vanished instantly. Replacing it was that killer of a cold look once again and she turned this time to Draco.
"You have not been staying in the guest bedroom that we've provided for you?"
"I..." said Draco, shifting in his seat slightly.
"No," Sirius answered for him, looking his mother directly in the eye. "He's been staying with me."
"Was there something the matter with the bedroom we'd offered?" Walburga asked Draco, still ignoring Sirius.
"Is that a serious question?" Sirius cried out, his eyes still on his mother. Hers shifted slightly in his direction but she didn't look directly at him. It was as though she was ashamed even of making that eye contact, however minimal. Sirius straightened up in his seat and added boldly, "There is something wrong with every single room in this house, apart from mine." His mother finally looked at him and he smiled at her sarcastically. "In case you haven't noticed...mother."
"Sirius," his father said in his warning voice, "Watch your tongue."
"Why should I have to?" Sirius continued. Under the table, Regulus kicked his foot hard but he thoroughly ignored him and instead glared at his father. "She won't even look at me! As if I'm contagious of some infectious disease or something!"
"Oh now you're just being dramatic," his mother said, throwing down her napkin. "If you won't be pleasant here like the rest of us, then get out of my sight."
"It'll be my pleasure!" Sirius cried, getting to his feet at once and throwing his own napkin on the table. He turned to Draco. "Let's go."
For the first time, Draco had nothing to say. He looked completely and utterly speechless as his head turned from Sirius to Regulus to the two monsters on either side of the table.
"Draco," Sirius repeated urgently.
"He has not yet been dismissed," his father said, giving Sirius a sharp look.
Sirius glared at him. "I—don't—care."
"Oh for the love of—" said his mother, pulling out her wand.
Here it was coming. He knew it was. She'd done it before...knocked him out cold so that he woke up the next morning in his bed with his brain all fuzzy. She did it fast too, before he could ever think to pull out his own wand and cast a protective charm. It was one of her many charming qualities. Sirius shut his eyes quickly now and waited for it to finally be done and over with. Maybe now, Draco would see exactly what kind of people Sirius's parents were. But as he stood there, waiting, nothing happened. He didn't feel that rush of cold chill sweep through his body. He didn't feel his mind dive into a spacious blank of nothingness. Instead, he heard a voice...a voice that possibly was the only reason Walburga didn't go through with the spell.
"My apologies for the interruption, mistress, dear sire, but I have an urgent message," said Lionel.
When Sirius opened his eyes, he found his mother watching his father intently as he silently read through a note that Lionel had brought on a silver crested tray. When his father was through reading it, he looked at his mother with an expression hard to translate.
"What is it?" she asked him.
Sirius, still standing, glanced at Draco across from him, who himself was watching him with confusion.
"Our attendance is required at an important function tonight," was all his father said, but it was enough for his mother, who instantly dismissed everyone to bed.
Sirius was mighty relieved too. He pulled Draco with him to his bedroom as quickly as his feet would take him. Unfortunately for him, Regulus insisted on following them inside.
"It's something related with what's happening now with the war," he whispered once they were safe inside.
Draco hopped on the bed and sat back against one of the pillows while Sirius locked his door and then went to close the curtains, waving his wand in the process to light up several candles around the room, making it warm and glowing. When he turned back around, he found Regulus sitting cross-legged on his bed as well, as if ready to tell bedtime stories with Draco. Sirius frowned at the two.
"They've been fairly involved with matters, you see," Regulus was telling Draco now in a hushed voice. "They never go into detail but I hear things from the servants. They talk, you know. Well of course they would, they have nothing better to do all day. The house is always clean and everything is always cooked and ready. That's what you get when you've magic at your heel."
"So you don't know what's happening then?" Draco urged.
"No," Regulus shook his head. "But whatever it is, it's something big. I overheard Lionel telling Katherine that they're off to St. Mungo's."
"Whoa," said Draco. "So someone got hurt then..."
"What do you mean someone got hurt?" Sirius blurted out, causing both boys to turn to him. "It's a fucking war! Of course someone's getting hurt! People are getting hurt every day!"
"Alright Sirius, calm down," Regulus said.
Sirius flew to his side in an instant and had his fingers around Regulus's little throat so fast Regulus barely had time to dodge him.
"SIRIUS, STOP!" Draco cried, trying to pull his arms away from the younger Black. But Sirius only glared into his brother's eyes with fury, hissing the words.
"Never tell me to calm down, ever again."
He finally released Regulus who then coughed his way out of the room. Sirius, still standing with hands clenched into fists, glared after him.
"What is the matter with you?!" Draco practically shouted in his ear.
Sirius jumped back and looked at him.
"What?"
"You could've hurt him bad!" Draco cried. "Why do you feel the need to choke anyone who bothers you? Who's supposed to be the Gryffindor in this house? The supposedly brave and noble one?"
"W-what..."
"You're acting like a fucking Slytherin is what you are," Draco continued, spitting the words out with anger.
"You're one to talk!" Sirius cried back. "You...you're the one who's going around all, 'oh Lionel, do this for me,' 'oh Orion, do show me when you get the chance.' I'd say it's you who's acting all Slytherin here."
"I AM SLYTHERIN!" Draco shouted.
Sirius stared at him.
"What?"
Draco breathed, glaring at Sirius with something he couldn't understand.
"I mean," he said, still huffing and puffing from his rage. "I dunno I..." he looked back at the open door and then turned to Sirius again. "I'm gonna go check on him...see if he's okay."
He left.
Sirius stared after him, feeling himself raged and annoyed. He began to pace about the room, wanting at first to punch one of his pillows and then considering going for the window instead. He was sure to keep his wand out of his hands, so as not to inadvertently shoot out spells in spontaneous rushes of anger.
When Draco did not come back after ten minutes, Sirius felt it safe to assume he'd be spending the next couple of hours with his brother...the Black whom he really identified with, as it turned out.
At ten o'clock, Sirius finally stopped pacing, took a couple of deep breaths and dived into his bag to search for one of the little vials that Madame Pomfrey had given him. Once he'd finally gotten a hold of one, he tilted it into his mouth and let out far more than just three drops.
The next time he saw Draco was the next morning in one of the upstairs bathrooms. Draco had overheard him vomiting into the toilet and brought along a cold cloth which Sirius placed on his forehead once he was done.
"When'd you get back?" he asked, letting Draco help him back to his room.
"Around midnight," Draco said. "You were passed out cold so I didn't wake you."
Sirius nodded, letting Draco help him onto the bed and resting his head against the pillow. His brain was literally spinning inside of his skull, and there was an awful stench in the room that made him want to roll over and hurl again. He made a disgusted look and sniffed. Draco jumped.
"Sorry, that's my bad," he said as he hurried over to the center of the room and cleaned incense things off from the carpet and opened up one of the windows, letting cold air in. "I was meditating."
"Where is the darling family?" Sirius moaned.
"Still sleeping, I reckon," Draco said, now sitting on the bed next to him.
Sirius glanced at him. "Wait, what time is it?"
"Just after eight," Draco answered. "They got back pretty late last night so I think they'll be sleeping it off for the next two hours at least."
"And...and Regulus?"
Draco smiled sadly. "He's out cold too."
"Is...is he...?"
"He's just fine. You should get some rest now, you look like death."
Sirius let out a laugh and turned on the bed. "I feel like death, I'll tell you that."
"Just don't be afraid too much, try to loosen up a bit," James said, giving the boy an encouraging smile.
Regulus shifted in his seat slightly and looked out the window again, where the moving hills could be seen from afar.
"There is no place safer than Hogwarts so whatever house you're sorted into, you'll make friends," Remus assured him.
"And if not, you'll still know us at least!" Peter added.
Regulus offered a smile and then looked sideways nervously at Sirius, who still had a calm expression on his face.
"I told you," he reminded him, "I have no worries whatsoever."
"But—"
"You'll be fine."
Sirius looked to his friends and they all nodded their agreement. He looked back at his brother.
"I'll be there the whole time, you just gotta do what I told you to do."
"But it can't be that easy, can it?" Regulus asked, looking round at the other boys.
"It can if you want it to," James told him. "The sorting hat takes your choice into account."
"It does?"
"Yeah, of course!"
"And if you just tell it that you want to go to Gryffindor, and you really mean it too, then it'll put you there," Sirius told Regulus again. "You've just gotta do it right, that's all."
"But..." said Regulus, looking around shyly before lowering his voice so that only Sirius could hear him, "Do you really think that's a good idea, Sirius?"
"How do you mean?" Sirius frowned.
"Mother and father will be so mad!" Regulus cried. "What if they never forgive me? What if...what if they start to be mean to me like...like they are f-for you?"
Sirius looked at his brother long and hard before answering, very confidently, "I won't let anything ever happen to you." Regulus stared at him. "You hear?" Regulus nodded. "Stick with me, and you will always be fine." He leaned forward. "It's you and me, Reg. Us against the world."
Regulus looked round at Sirius's friends and then gulped nervously before meeting his brother's eyes again.
"Us against the world," Regulus repeated, nodding his head quickly.
Sirius turned back on the bed to look at Draco, who was still there, evidently thinking about something important.
"I haven't always been like this with Regulus, you know."
Draco smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I know."
"There were times when we were the best of friends...way back when we were little."
"Sirius, I know."
"And I had such high hopes for him...it was going to be me and him against them...against the world, if you will. But now..."
"Sirius," Draco said, looking a mixture of concerned and angry, "Did you overdose on Madame Pomfrey's potion last night?"
Sirius turned away from him, thus answering Draco's question. Draco sighed and shook his head.
"Another incident like this, and I'll tell Dumbledore how you've been really handling your problems," Draco promised.
Sirius groaned into his pillow. Maybe Draco was right...he really did know how to handle things himself.
He turned in the bed to look at his friend again.
"What are you doing up so early anyway?" Sirius asked, now placing the cloth on his bedside table. He didn't need that rubbish anyway. He was perfectly fine.
"Oh I thought I'd get a bit more meditation done," Draco answered.
"How's that going?"
Draco shrugged, looking rather grim.
"What is it?" Sirius asked him.
Draco looked at him. "It's taking too long, man. I feel like I'm not doing it right."
Sirius laughed and shifted on the bed. "You've been at it for only a few months and you're already complaining?"
Draco smiled weakly.
"Man, we'd been at it for more than a year!" Sirius added. "You need to calm down. You'll get it soon enough."
"Yeah," Draco agreed. "Yeah, you're right."
He then let out a strange sort of chuckle and passed Sirius that morning's copy of the Daily Prophet. Sirius groaned as he examined the fresh new title on the cover, with yet another shot of the three boys on the platform, this time ready to cross the street to greet Alistair and Savannah. At the bottom of the page was a moving photograph of Dumbledore, apparently snapped somewhere in Diagon Alley.
"How the Prodigal Black Broke Albus Dumbledore's Heart."
Sirius looked up at Draco with a strange expression and Draco laughed again.
"The article is all about how apparently I chose the Blacks over Dumbledore for where to spend the holidays."
"Well that's just great," Sirius said, shoving the paper away and turning in his bed. "We're a fuckin' circus now."
"Sirius," Draco said, his tone light, "We're always a circus." Sirius smiled. "I'm gonna go get coffee, you want?"
"Nah," Sirius said. "I think I'll try to do that...sleeping thing..."
Draco smirked and got up from the bed. "See you later then."
Once Sirius was alone in the room, he turned to look in the direction of the open window, through which he could see large snowflakes falling from the clear white sky. The fresh smell of winter filled the room at once and Sirius closed his eyes and sat there like that until he got cold and waved his wand to shut the window.
He checked his watch. Ten o'clock. He sighed and sat back against the pillow again, thinking. He could hear footsteps outside his door every once in a while, accompanied occasionally by soft muttering. It didn't take him long to conclude that it was only Kreacher, pretending to clean just so he could spy on him. Typical.
"Fuck off!" Sirius called out, waving his wand over his door to make sure it was sealed shut. He swore he could hear Kreacher muttering over on the other side but ignored him and instead reached over to the nearest drawer and opened it a little, pulling out a velvety cloth wrapped around his most prized possession to date.
He paused to listen if Kreacher was still lurking out in the corridor. Hesitating slightly, he waved his wand at the door again and cast another charm (just to be sure). Then, once he was sure it was safe, he unfolded the cloth and revealed the little square mirror. He saw his reflection looking back at him. His hair was falling to his shoulders, slightly messy from his rough morning of vomiting over the toilet seat. His face looked pale and sick but he felt loads better now with fresh air in the room. He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.
"James."
His reflection vanished from the mirror instantly and he instead was looking at a dotted ceiling with shadows in a brightly lit room. He waited several moments, expecting the ceiling to move as the mirror would be picked up and placed upright. But the ceiling never moved. The mirror was never picked up and his friend's face never appeared in the reflection. Sirius waited a few more minutes before giving up and thrusting the mirror back into the velvety cloth and tossing it safely in his drawer again.
James was obviously still upset for whatever reason. Sirius sighed. So much for getting his mind off of things...
At about half past eleven, Sirius finally got up from bed and cleaned himself up. He went downstairs, feeling a lot better than he had that morning, and found servants everywhere, apparently preparing for the big Christmas feast they were to have that evening. But Draco and Regulus, the people he came down there for, were nowhere to be found.
Confused, Sirius looked around, trying to see something past all the shimmering decorations in the corridors and on the stairs. At that moment, Katherine entered the corridor, carrying a silver tray with various pastries. At the sight of Sirius, she stopped at once and bowed before him, muttering 'Master Sirius' in that perturbed worshipping voice he'd always loathed.
"Where is Draco?" Sirius asked her.
Katherine stood upright again. "Master Draco and Master Regulus are outside, sir."
Sirius looked round at the front door and then back at Katherine. "Outside?"
"Outside, sir," she repeated, bowing again before retreating to the dining room.
Sirius frowned and walked over to the sitting room window to glimpse the street where the front of the house could be seen. Indeed, Draco and Regulus were outside. Dressed warmly from head to toe, they were taking turns sliding down the small icy hill. They were...laughing. In fact, they looked like they were having the time of their lives. Sirius remained at the window, watching them, his forehead slightly pressed against the ice cold window. At one point, Draco fell over laughing and his eyes wandered to the window where Sirius was watching. His smile faltered only a little and he waved Sirius over. But Sirius shook his head and walked away from the window. He had no intention of going outside to play in the snow with his brother.
Instead, he began wandering the house, passing by random servants and ignoring them as they each bowed before him and constantly offered him their services. By noon, he found himself in the drawing room on the first floor, standing before the family tree tapestry and glaring at all those names. His eyes wandered over them, his mood worsening with each one that he read, and he slowly allowed himself to think the very thought he'd forbidden himself to think since his arrival earlier that week...
...perhaps Draco was most at-home here because this was where he belonged...and these were his kinds of people.
Perhaps, Sirius shuddered to think, there was something wrong with him instead of with his family. He'd honestly thought Draco to be a decent person. Hell, he was a decent person. But that week, Sirius had seen it firsthand...how well Draco had gotten along with his parents. How comfortable he felt bossing around his servants. How at-home he felt in his house. So maybe it was true. Maybe Sirius was the problem here after all.
His eyes fell on his own name at the bottom of the tree and he bit his lip as he frowned down at it. For nearly all his life, he'd felt like an outsider. He'd never truly felt himself. At family functions, he'd felt isolated. At family dinners, he'd felt different. It was only at Hogwarts that he was able to truly be himself. But what did that matter? Hogwarts was only a temporary solution. He was a Black for life.
Sirius stayed shut up in the drawing room for virtually the rest of the afternoon and only snapped out of his daze when he heard noises from the end of the corridor and realized that his parents were home. The Christmas Eve feast was going to start soon. He glanced at the windows where it was already dark out and then looked one last time at the tapestry before leaving. Just when he reached the end of the corridor, he heard voices and froze in the shadows, holding in his breath.
"You needn't worry about that because there cannot exist a world where Draco takes after Sirius...not if I have anything to say about it."
"I know you think you've got it under control, Orion, but you don't," his mother was saying now. "You do not spend nine, ten months out of the year at Hogwarts with that son of yours." She let out a laugh. "And, while we're on the subject, let us not forget what other toxic influences remain at that school."
"Oh I have not forgotten about those influences," Orion assured her, making Sirius wonder if they could possibly be talking about Dumbledore. "But you seem to have forgotten how to have faith in me." There was silence. "Walburga, everything will work out exactly the way it is supposed to. I will not let that scum try to ruin another Black."
Sirius turned away and walked back to the end of the corridor, deciding that he'd heard enough of this. It was like it was happening all over again. Draco right now, was Sirius six years ago. He was that naïve, carefree boy, thinking that all the riches and delicacies that he was bathed in would not come with strings attached...thinking that things like love and sincerity actually existed at number 12 Grimmauld Place.
Sirius waited until he heard footsteps climbing up the stairs. Then, he slowly walked back along the corridor and waited in the entranceway some more until he deemed it safe to return to his bedroom, where he was going to stay shut up for the rest of the night. He had absolutely no intention whatsoever of attending some fake Christmas Eve feast and pretending that he was happy to be celebrating with these people when he clearly was not. And they didn't want his presence there any more than he did anyway, so it was a win-win situation.
He hurried up the stairs, dodged the second floor as quickly as he could so as not to run into his mother, and pushed past Kreacher on the topmost floor until he reached his bedroom door. The trouble was, there was already someone inside.
"Can I help you?" Sirius declared, shutting the door behind him with a loud bang.
His mother turned to look at him, a letter in her hand.
"Oh," she said, feigning curiosity, "You are alive." She paused, eyeing him coldly. "I was beginning to think you'd run off to die somewhere."
"Oh you'd love for that to happen, would you?" Sirius muttered.
"Hmm," his mother said, looking down at the letter in her hands again.
Behind her, Sirius noticed his window open and an owl sitting on the ledge, watching him. He looked back at his mother and then down at the letter.
"What are you doing in my room, mother?"
She looked up at him. "I'm sorry. I don't recall us coming to an agreement that I wasn't allowed up here."
"We came to that agreement years ago, in case you never noticed," Sirius snapped back.
"Did we?" she said without looking at him. "I must've missed that. Next time, put it in writing."
Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but then his eyes snapped back to the owl on the window ledge. She had done some really low stuff before, but this...barging into his room like this...He looked round at the closed door behind him and then back at his mother.
"This is my room."
"Yes, but it is my house," she said.
"How...you don't have grounds to be here." This certainly got her attention. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and put her hands together behind her back, still holding the letter.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that...you need to leave!"
Her face instantly changed. She took four steps towards Sirius and looked him directly in the eye. "Now that's enough of that. I will not be spoken to like that in my own house and that is final."
Sirius looked away from her but she grabbed his chin with her long fingers and turned his face to her direction again.
"Do I make myself clear?" she hissed.
Sirius shoved her arm away and walked further into the room, turning his back on her. He walked towards the owl and stopped just in front of it, looking down at its large eyes.
"Look at me when I am talking to you," he heard his mother say, but he couldn't look away from the owl. It stared at him with such curiosity...as though it were wondering why he was still here, taking this.
"Sirius Orion Black," his mother said in a bolder tone.
Sirius turned to look at her.
"What is that?" he said plainly, looking at the letter in her hands.
"What, this?" she said, raising her arm and waving the letter in front of her so that Sirius could see it clearly. "This is proof of where you belong. This was written by scum. And you belong with scum."
"Hah, nothing I've never heard before," Sirius said, folding his arms in front of him.
His mother's face changed again and he smiled. "That's right, mother. You've already said every painful thing imaginable to me. There is literally nothing left that you could say that'll hurt me more than everything you've said in the past. You've reached your limit, so you'd best stop trying because it's all already old." He paused and looked at her with a serious face. "As are you."
Her reaction was not one he'd expected. He'd expected her to yell, curse, jinx him even. But instead, she let out a cold laugh...one he'd grown to recognize fairly well. He frowned at her but she took a few steps towards him, while he took a careful one back.
"So the little boy has finally learned to talk back to his mummy," Walburga mocked. "What'll I ever do now?" Sirius glared at her and she smiled cruelly. "Oh, shall I summon Kreacher to come to my defense? Oh Kreacher! Kreacher!"
There was a loud CRACK and Kreacher appeared in the middle of the room, bowing low before Walburga.
"Mistress summoned Kreacher?" he croaked.
"Yes Kreacher, it seems that my son has finally developed the balls to stand up to his mother," Walburga said, her eyes on Sirius the entire time.
He scowled at her, a hot, fiery ball of fury burning in the very core that was supposed to be his heart.
"My son," she continued, taking more steps towards him, "The gentle little Gryffindor, is finally going to give me what I deserve."
She waved the letter in front of him more and he reached out to grab it from her but she pulled it away just in time, cackling with laughter. She then grew serious again and leaned forward, standing just inches away from him.
"Don't you get it?" she said in a quieter voice now. "You are not worth anyone's breath." She shoved the now-crumpled letter up against his chest and he caught it, still looking at her. "You won't amount to anything, no matter what you ever do. And I will be the first person to celebrate when you fall."
"What, all because I'm not the son you wanted?" Sirius managed to say. "That's very motherly of you."
"Don't you talk to me like that," she warned. "You were never a son of mine, and we both know it."
"So then why keep me here?"
There was a pause and that cruel smile crossed Walburga's face once again. "Believe me, if it weren't for ancient magic, you'd be long gone."
Sirius swallowed hard and moved past her to the other side of the room, pushing Kreacher in the process. The elf stammered slightly but said nothing. It just stood there next to its mistress.
"Good to know," Sirius said, stopping just by the door and shoving the unread letter into his pocket. He could hear Draco's and Regulus's voices downstairs. They were laughing about something again, unaware and unconcerned about what was happening up here. He took a deep breath and turned to look at the stranger standing in front of him. "Was there anything else you wanted, ma'am?"
"Yes," she said, folding her arms in front of her. "I want your word that you will stay away from Draco."
Sirius shook his head before she was even finished saying the words. Her face grew angrier.
"Your word," she repeated, in a tone full of warning.
"That's not gonna happen," Sirius promised.
"You have no authority—"
"Man, have you got your wires crossed!" Sirius laughed. His mother stared at him. "It's you who's got no authority telling me what to do! You said it yourself, you are not my mother! Maybe once you were, back when you thought I was someone else. But you haven't been my mother in a long time and never, not in a million years, will I ever consider you—"
"I don't bloody care what you think!" she finally cried, her arms unfolded. She marched up to Sirius unexpectedly and pointed a finger at him. "I WANT YOUR WORD!"
Finally, it hit Sirius. She really didn't care. He could die right there and then and she wouldn't shed a tear. It was Draco whom she cared about now. Draco who was the fresh meat. Draco who would be her brand new toy and creation. All she needed was guarantee that no one would take her new toy away from her, like Sirius had threatened but failed to do with Regulus, years ago.
His mother lowered her finger and glared at her son, waiting. Sirius glared back, every fibre of his being hating the woman in front of him. And it was with this hatred that he was finally able to say the words he'd wanted to say nearly his whole life. The words that he should've said a long time ago but had always stopped, keeping a shred of hope that it would one day change. Now knowing that that possibility had never existed, Sirius buried his glare in his mother's eyes.
"Go—to—hell."
Her hand flew across his face so fast he couldn't even register what had happened. Between that, Kreacher's yell, and the fiery ball exploding inside of Sirius's chest, he felt himself growl and was on all fours again. Forgetting reason and forgetting purpose, he pushed past his mother, and barked his way towards the window. He shoved Kreacher aside with all his strength, landing the elf on its back way on the other side of the room. Sirius flew through the window, forgetting the shattering glass and the way it prickled his skin as he hit the snow below. He did not stop growling and did not stop to rid himself of the shards of glass now piercing his fur. He did not stop to clean off the blood that was now dripping on the clean sheets of freshly fallen snow. He did not stop to try and wipe the tears flowing from his big, round black eyes. He just ran.
And the more he ran, the more afraid he became. His heart was nearly ready to burst from his chest, not from how fast it was beating, not even from how cold it was, but from how much pain it felt.
By the time he'd reached Drayton Park, he'd slowed to a walk and was fully ready to pass out from how much his body ached from the fall. He stopped just under the bridge and took a good look around the empty railway. No one. Nothing. It was dark. What's more, it was Christmas Eve. No one in their right mind would be wandering around some bridge at that time.
Transformed back, Sirius limped his way to the steps at the end and sat down, groaning and grunting at the pain. His breath hitched as he pulled several shards of glass from his left arm and the bottom of his leg. The biggest shard of all was right in his ankle and he bit his knuckle hard as he pulled it out with all his strength, letting out a loud groan which echoed throughout the tunnel.
Not caring that it was bloody freezing out, he used whatever strength he had left to rip the hem of his undershirt and tie the material to the biggest wounds, all of which were in his leg. Then, he groaned again and rested his head against the frozen railing.
Time was no longer a factor. He had no clue how long it had taken him to get there. All he knew was that it was cold, it was dark, and there was not a soul in sight.
Sometime after he'd sat down to nurse his wounds, he heard an owl hoot in the distance and was instantly reminded of the letter still crumpled up in his pocket. He hissed at the pain of pulling it out and groaned as he rested back in his previous position, now unfolding the letter and squinting down at the slanted, miniscule writing which could only belong to one person.
Dear Padfoot,
I feel fine so you can stop worrying now. Let me remind you that I've done this before. Loads of times. It's always a bit easier at home than it is at school, I'll tell you that. Also, my parents send their best.
I must admit I was rather worried to hear from you so soon. I thought it'd be at least a week before something happened, but your letter was at least reassuring that everything is alright. Then again, with the way your parents are, you never know.
I hope you are doing what you promised me and giving Draco his space to find the answers that he needs. He is just as Black as you are so it's his right to find everything out in his own time and in his own way. You can't influence him too much, Sirius, or he'll later resent you for it.
About what you said regarding the family tree, I have to say I agree with Regulus and your parents. Hah, I know, I never thought I'd say that either. And trust me, it doesn't mean I'll be coming over for tea anytime soon. But it's true. If Draco was unclaimed, then there would be no more reason for him to be on that tree than there is reason for James or Frank to be on there. Think about it.
You asked me if I saw the paper on Tuesday. Of course I did, and if I'm being honest here, I didn't expect anything less. The articles will get more scandalous as the week passes, mark my words. We all knew this was going to happen so it shouldn't be of any surprise to you. Just don't let it get to you, Sirius. It's nothing but rubbish talk. As long as we (the people who matter) know that, then it's all good.
I also think that you should give this wedding a chance, not for the celebrating of yet another Black marriage part, but for the possibility of seeing Andromeda again. You'll feel a lot better if you do, I know it.
Write again soon and try not to suffocate Draco too much. And try not to literally suffocate Kreacher.
Best wishes and a happy Christmas,
Remus
Sirius looked up from the letter, his eyes landing upon an old lamppost whose fire had burnt out long ago.
"Happy Christmas to you too," he said out loud.
At least a half hour must've passed, even though Sirius had no way of telling. The trains didn't seem to be working. Probably because of it being Christmas Eve and all. But nonetheless, he forced himself to his feet and held onto the railing, looking around the deserted tunnel. He had left so soon, so fast, he hadn't given it a thought. He hadn't thought about the possibilities of where he would go. He hadn't thought about how much that fall would hurt, that was for sure. He hadn't even given his wand a thought, which was lying safely in the drawer of his bedside table, back in his room at number 12 Grimmauld Place.
His wand, his clothes...his books, his precious posters...his two-way mirror...
Sirius grunted as he pocketed the letter once again and sucked in his breath, transforming.
Back on all fours, he sat there for a few more minutes before summoning up whatever strength he had left and departing from Drayton Park.
As he ran as fast as his paws would take him, he forbid himself from thinking about the pain issuing from all over his body. He forbid himself from thinking about what had happened tonight and how much it had shattered his heart. He forbid himself from thinking about how close his mother had gotten to finding out the truth about the nature of Remus's condition. Had one single detail about that letter revealed too much, and everything would be fucked.
He forbid himself from thinking about the fact that Draco was still trapped in the wraths of hell, and he was liking every minute of it. Sirius put all of that aside, throwing it as far from his brain as he possibly could, and just ran.
He didn't think about all the Christmas carolers that he passed, singing their joys and their delights into the snowy Christmas night. He didn't think about how much he'd give for food or even water right now. He didn't even think about whether tonight would be his last, given how much he was suffering and how little time he had left before his body gave in completely. He just ran.
And he only allowed himself to stop once he'd finally reached the bushes in front of a grand, brightly lit house in the middle of a grand, brightly lit street. He took several long, deep breaths and forced himself to transform. Then, dismissing the fact that his cloth-covered wounds were now bleeding harder than before thus staining the snow at his feet, dismissing the fact that his face was all scratched up and his lungs were unable to deliver another breath, he forced his feet to move forward one at a time until he stopped at the doorstep of the grand house.
The door flew open before he could even knock, let alone ring the doorbell. Sirius squinted as the light hit him hard in the face, and then his eyes filled with tears and blood again.
"Sirius, what happened?" were the last words he heard before he collapsed in James's arms.
