AN: This chapter was written with quite a hefty surge of writer's block which, consequently, frustrated our author deeply. So we decided to look back on some of our conversations from when this story was in its early stages and realized. . . if only you guys knew just how weird we really are. But lucky for you, we're both equally weird and that weirdness enables us to create something that we're actually fairly proud of and hope you all continue to enjoy :) So, apologizing for the delay in an update, and sending out thanks once again for all the continued support and hope you all enjoy reading this chapter, which, fair warning, is quite emotional, kind of like the last. . .
Also to LoverGurrl411: you were right, the moment had to come ;)
Also, credits to our buddy Walt Whitman. The quote could not be more relevant.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling. Thanks
CHAPTER 30: BLACK LISTED
"You don't want to do that," Regulus repeated as Draco sidestepped the broken glass and poked his head out the hole of the shattered window. It was a long jump down to the snow-covered ground, and even he knew that it'd be stupid to make that jump. But the little drops of blood littering the snow just below were enough to force the thought out of Draco's head. He pulled back into the room and looked round at the boy standing before him.
"You make that jump..." Regulus said, "...and you'll lose any and all of the respect you've gained from my parents so far."
Draco shook his head and turned back to the window. "I haven't had their respect for very long, so..."
"Draco," Regulus said, taking a step towards him. Draco turned to look at him, giving him a warning look not to come any closer. Regulus froze, taking a deep breath.
"Don't—do—this," he pleaded. "You have to know that it's a bad idea. You have to."
"The only thing I have to know right now is where Sirius is at," Draco argued. "And the fact that it doesn't seem to affect you very much is really concerning to me, Regulus."
"You don't think I'm affected?!" Regulus cried, his jaw dropped. "Draco, I am...mortified that the person responsible for tonight is my mother. OKAY? I've known her my entire life; she has never stooped this low. It isn't like her. So don't make the mistake of thinking that I'm unaffected by tonight—"
"Okay," Draco interrupted before Regulus could continue his little speech. "Okay, it's fine, I just..." he turned back to the window. "I just need to know that he's okay."
"I do too," Regulus went on. "But please, not like this. Okay? If you just run out after him right now, you're gonna only further complicate things."
Draco stared at the snow for another long minute before sighing and turning to Regulus, nodding.
"Alright," he said, his arms waving in forfeit. "So what's your big plan?"
"I..." said Regulus, looking stunned. "I mean, we can figure one out together, right?"
"Subtle," Draco said, moving past Regulus and stopping at the closed door of Sirius's bedroom.
"Look, we can just—"
"Shh."
"Draco, I just don't think that—"
"Shh!"
Draco spun round to give Regulus a warning look and Regulus stared at him. Draco slowly brought a finger to his lips and then crept over to the door and placed his ear against it. Regulus followed suit.
Downstairs, someone seemed to be having some sort of a fit. There was a mixture of shouting and thumping and clashing, like things were being thrown around.
"Let's get more down below," Regulus whispered, opening the door very quietly and slipping through. Draco meant to stop him but instead found himself following him. They crept along the corridor as silently as they could until they reached the top of the landing.
Regulus looked round at Draco in the darkness.
"Step only on the ones I step on!" he hissed, waving Draco to follow him. Draco hesitated but stepped on the same steps that Regulus did, none of which creaked even in the slightest. As they went, Draco couldn't help but wonder how many times Regulus had done this before with Sirius.
They only stopped once they were at the end of the second floor, where sure enough, they could hear the details of the conversation between Orion and Walburga in what looked to be the main entrance of the house. Regulus knelt down on the stairs and Draco did the same, his heart pounding as he listened to Walburga say the meanest things anyone has ever said about their own child. Orion however, seemed to be more outraged than her, even if he wasn't being so vocal about it.
"I want to know who taught him how to transform," Walburga declared, "And whoever that is, is going to be dealt with immediately. I shall send a letter first thing in the morning."
Draco shifted slightly on the stairs, not wanting to miss a single word.
"The only letter we are going to be sending now is to those nosey reporters," Orion contradicted. "That boy is bound to get into trouble tonight and this family has been in the papers far too much recently to add this to the resume."
"What are you suggesting?" Walburga snapped. "What, you want to run out and find the boy yourself? Bring him back here and lock him up so he doesn't embarrass the Black name even more than he already has? You be my guest then. But I warn you, Orion—if you bring him back here, I'll kill him myself."
"LIONEL!" Orion called.
Draco's heart skipped a beat now. Would he do it? Would Orion surely go out to look for Sirius and then bring him back here, kicking and screaming, or worse, completely hexed out of it? Draco feared thinking about the extremes that the Black parents would go to, to keep their son grounded.
"Master?" came Lionel's voice.
"Red wine for my wife," Orion declared.
Draco breathed.
Several silent minutes later, Walburga spoke again, in a much calmer but still firm voice.
"I don't want him ever stepping foot in this house again."
"He won't," Orion said. "He may be scum but he is not stupid scum. He knows what will happen if he returns."
Regulus looked round at Draco in the darkness but Draco said nothing. What could he say? Sirius had really done it this time. Where the hell was he now and was he even alive? An image of all that blood on the snow almost made Draco stand up, but he stopped himself at the sound of Orion's voice again.
"...I will alert the right people so we can keep this out of the papers at least for tomorrow."
"No one is going to release any papers on Christmas Day, don't be ridiculous," Walburga snapped. "We have two days. Two days to figure this out and in the meantime, we need to take every precaution necessary to keep this scandal within our immediate family only."
There was silence. Then, Orion called Alistair into the room.
"Sir," came Alistair's voice nearly seconds later.
"I want every living soul in this house gathered in the sitting room in precisely five minutes."
Alistair hurried out of the room and Draco and Regulus exchanged another worried look. Then, the large clock in the sitting room began ringing throughout the house again. Draco looked down at his watch. Nine thirty seven.
"Come on," Regulus said to his ear, pushing Draco to his feet. "It's the call. We've gotta go."
"The what?" said Draco but he followed Regulus down the stairs anyway.
Draco squinted slightly at the brightly lit sitting room but nevertheless followed Regulus inside and lined up next to him, just at the center of the line of servants now standing in a row. Draco was careful to keep his eyes anywhere but on Orion and Walburga, who were standing at the front of the room side to side. Never, in all his life, had he ever had to do this in his own home.
"I trust you all know what happened here this evening," Orion began, once everyone (even Kreacher) was in the room. No one said a word or even reacted to Orion. They all kept their eyes on the floor and their hands behind their backs. Orion cleared his throat again. "Tonight's events are not to leave this house by anyone but myself or my wife."
He looked at Walburga who set down her drink without a word. Then, Orion looked back at the servants and slowly began to walk along the line.
"If," he said, his voice low but serious, "For any reason, any at all, I find myself waking up tomorrow morning to an early edition of the paper with this family's name in the headlines... if I receive a letter from any of my friends or relatives, asking what happened to dear Sirius...if I receive word from the ministry that they'd like to investigate my eldest son's absence...whoever is responsible for losing their tongue will lose far more, I can promise you that."
None of the servants shifted. It was completely still and silent in the room.
"I will make you live to regret this mistake. I will be the reason that you are personally introduced to the Dark Lord."
Draco kept his eyes on the ground as Orion stopped before him.
"As for you two boys," he said, placing a hand on each of their shoulders, causing Draco to look up at him, "I want you to trust that Walburga and I will handle this. You don't have to do anything."
"Yes, father," Regulus responded. Orion nodded at him and his eyes fell on Draco.
"You boys focus on other things for now," he said, his voice calm and assuring, "Like the upcoming wedding."
Draco nodded.
"Good man," said Orion, patting his shoulder once. He turned back to the servants and gave a nod. "Dismissed." He turned back to Lionel, who was standing at the door. "Everything on the table?"
"Yes sir, everything as requested," said Lionel.
"Good," said Orion, turning back to Draco and Regulus. "Let us go have that feast."
Draco and Regulus returned to Sirius's room after the Christmas Feast and shut the door firmly behind them. Then, Draco pulled out his wand to try and fix the window, but Regulus stopped him at once.
"You don't want to attract ministry attention tonight," he said, pulling Draco's wand from his fingers and setting it on the dressing table.
"What..."
"You're not of age yet, you can't do magic outside of school," Regulus explained. "If you do, the ministry will know and they'll send a letter."
"But I'm—" said Draco, suddenly stopping himself just at the tipping point and coughing instead before adding, "I mean, how would they know who used magic in the house?"
"That's why they would send a letter, not a person," said Regulus, disregarding Draco's moment of weirdness and taking a seat on Sirius's bed instead, a frown on his face. "Damn, you'd think that after living with Dumbledore your whole life, you'd know these things."
Draco frowned, feeling sure that things weren't like that in his own timeline.
"I..." he said, turning back to the window again. "I didn't live with him."
"Right," said Regulus. "Sorry, forgot."
Draco's eyes fell on the blood again and then he grabbed a random sweater from one of the nearby drawers and hung it up so that it covered the view of the shattered glass. He knew it wouldn't help with the cold tonight, but he figured it'd be better than to ask the Blacks to fix the window tomorrow. Any excuse to keep them out of Sirius' room, that was for sure.
He turned to look at Regulus, who was thinking long and hard about something and had his eyes on some random point on the floor.
"Has he ever done this before?" Draco asked, causing Regulus to look up at him.
"No," he answered a minute later. "He joked about it, threatened it a lot, but never actually went through with it."
Draco nodded and looked at his watch again. Eleven forty eight. Wherever Sirius was right now, surely he was able to write or send word...he knew how to produce the Patronus Charm and he was of age. If he cared at all, he would at least be able to do that...But then Draco took a seat in one of the armchairs to stop himself pacing and placed his head in his hands. Wherever Sirius was right now, he was hurt. Nothing else mattered.
"How was it?" Regulus asked, catching Draco off guard. He looked up.
"How was what?"
"Living with Dumbledore," said Regulus. "Being raised by him and all...I just realized that I never did ask you."
Draco looked absolutely stunned as he stared at Regulus, not knowing what to say. He hadn't expected this question, tonight of all nights, and his lying game wasn't very good when he was anxious. All that was on his mind right now was Sirius, and he knew that because of this, he'd blurt out something stupid right now which he would surely have to pay for later.
"I..." he said, realizing that Regulus was still watching him and waiting for an answer. He looked eager too...like this was something that he'd been curious about for a long time now. "I dunno man, it's...it's been a long night, can't we just...?"
"I'm just trying to lighten up the mood a little," Regulus said quickly. "Admit it, it got your mind off of Sirius for a second there, didn't it?" Draco opened his mouth but nothing came out. Regulus nodded once. "Look, I'm worried too. I am. But we can't leave right now. You know we can't. So what good will it do to stay up all night and worry our heads off?"
"It'll give me something to do, that's what," Draco muttered, looking away from him.
"Seriously though," said Regulus. "What was it like?"
Draco sighed and turned back to him, feeling lazy and tired but still extremely alert, not to mention anxious.
"It was just how you'd expect it to be...h-he's Dumbledore, you know? I was raised to really value, like, all kinds of magic, not just one thing. Though I guess I was more inclined towards potions and like alchemy and stuff because that's more of the stuff Dumbledore taught me, even though he used to profess transfiguration of all things... but anyway, it wasn't anything extraordinary. Yeah, guess you wouldn't say it was your typical ordinary childhood. But I didn't see him every day, you know?"
"You didn't?" said Regulus, his eyebrows raised.
"Nah man, he was far too busy for that," said Draco, sitting back against the armchair and sighing deeply before adding, "Maybe just every other day."
Regulus let out a laugh and Draco found himself able to smile.
They sat in silence for the next little while. At some point, Regulus lay back on Sirius's bed and spent the longest time staring up at the ceiling and not saying anything. Draco stood up from the armchair several times and paced the room until he got tired and sat back down. He kept checking the window too, in case Sirius came crawling back up, however unlikely that was.
When the large grandfather clock downstairs started to chime half past midnight, Regulus sat up and met Draco's eyes.
"What?" said Draco.
"Do you think he's okay?" Regulus asked in a very small voice.
Draco let his mouth drop a little. Indeed, what was the answer to that question? Was Sirius okay? They had no way of knowing where he was or how he was. All they knew was that he wasn't here and his parents cared more about keeping this news out of the public eye than anything else.
"Y-yeah," Draco finally answered, unconvincingly. "Yeah, he's fine."
Regulus nodded and fell back on the bed again.
"So um," said Draco, shifting in his seat, "Is Alistair ever planning on shutting that thing off or are we gonna listen to it chime all night?"
Regulus let out a soft laugh. "Yeah. Guess he's a bit distracted tonight."
"We all are," Draco wanted to say, but decided against it. Regulus's mood had worsened significantly in just a matter of forty minutes or so.
By twenty to one, Draco started pacing the room again, doubting that he'd get much sleep tonight. And Regulus sat up on the bed and started tapping his foot nervously. Neither of them said anything. They weren't even sure what they were waiting for. But the thought of doing anything else but waiting around in Sirius's room didn't appeal to either of them, so that was exactly what they continued to do. Wait.
And it was useless waiting too. It wasn't likely that Sirius would climb up the window now and be all, "Oh sorry guys, false alarm. I'm back." Orion was right. He wasn't stupid. If he was out, he was out. He was never going to return.
"Did you know?" Regulus said quietly as Draco continued to wander the room.
"Know what?" Draco said absentmindedly, picking up a miniature sculpture of some winged creature and rotating it in his hand.
"Know that he's an animagus..." Regulus said.
Draco paused.
"You didn't seem all that surprised when my mother told my father," Regulus went on. "I just have a feeling that you knew."
Draco turned slowly on the spot, still holding the sculpture, and his eyes fell on Regulus, sitting up on Sirius's bed with a worried expression.
"And something tells me that you are one too," Regulus said, even more quietly now.
A sad smile crossed Draco's face and his eyes shifted to where Sirius's sweater hung over the cracked window.
"I did know...found out recently though..." he turned back to Regulus. "But no, I am not an animagus as well."
Regulus closed his mouth and nodded, his eyes shifting down to the floor again. It was amazing how quickly he believed Draco. Even though, technically, Draco wasn't lying. He'd just conveniently neglected to mention the 'yet' part, but that was something to worry about later.
"Hey, um, Reg?" The boy lifted his head to look at him and Draco hesitated before adding, "Your mother seeing tonight that Sirius is...you know...it's not, I mean, it can't be good for him, can it?"
Regulus gave a slight shrug and looked away. "I can't understand it."
"Understand what?"
"Tonight. You know, what happened and all. I just can't understand it."
Draco turned back around and placed the sculpture on the dressing table before adding, very quietly, "I think it will be a while before any of us can understand it."
Before he could elaborate, Sirius's sweater pushed past the window, flying across the room and landing on the dresser. Draco and Regulus both jumped at once, wands out and fully alert. Sirius's sweater, which lay crumpled on the dresser, proceeded to move for several long seconds, while Draco and Regulus exchanged looks, until finally a tardy brown owl crawled out of it and fluttered its wings, looking mad as ever.
"Harry," Draco said, dropping his wand on the bed and hurrying over to the owl.
"Who?" said Regulus, lowering his own.
Draco lifted the owl's head and, sure enough, there was a scroll tied to its neck. He carefully lifted it off, minding the owl's teeth, and stepped away from the dresser, his hands shaking as he quickly unrolled the letter.
"It's James's owl," he explained without looking at Regulus.
When he finally managed the letter open, he felt a mixture of relief and disappointment, for the letter was reassuring, yes, but severely lacking in information.
"Well what is it?" Regulus urged as Draco looked up from the small piece of paper in his hands.
"It's Sirius," Draco said. "He's alright, he's fine. H-he's staying at a friend's."
"At the Potters' house?" said Regulus.
Draco nodded, sitting down on the bed. The owl gave him a sarcastic look and then fluttered back out of the window. Regulus looked around, confused, then grabbed Sirius's sweater again and placed it back over the window, tying it as carefully as he could so that the wind wouldn't make it flutter and fly.
"See? I told you everything would be fine," Draco finally said.
"Yeah," Regulus said, laughing lightly. He slipped his hands into his pockets and stood back against the dresser. "So he's alright then. That's good. I was beginning to think that we'd maybe have to send a message to St. Mungo's tomorrow and see if they admitted—"
"Regulus you should go to bed," Draco interrupted, forcing a puzzled expression on the boy's face. "It's nearly two and I'm dead tired. We know Sirius is okay so...let's just...sleep this off."
"Yeah okay," Regulus said, nodding. He shifted from the dresser and looked in the direction of the letter on Sirius's bed before nodding at Draco. "Try to get some sleep then."
"Good night," Draco said as Regulus left, closing the door behind him.
Once alone, Draco resumed his pacing, feeling more alert now than he did before and not even a little tired. It was amazing how, just an hour ago, he'd have given anything to hear some news of Sirius, but now that he had, he wondered if he'd have been better off not knowing anything at all.
Wandering around Sirius's room now, Draco found himself starting to panic again and began attempting to distract himself with little things he found. More miniature sculptures scattered about the room. Unique posters he hadn't noticed before. Pretty muggle girls whose eyes seemed to be following him everywhere he went. When none of that seemed to be helping, he sat down on the bed and started tapping his hands nervously on either side. The howling wind was trying to force Sirius's sweater out of its place now, but Regulus seemed to have tied it pretty well. Still, Draco didn't risk charming it to its spot. He wasn't sure exactly how the whole time travel thing was supposed to work with his age, but he was pretty sure he was already seventeen.
Feeling nervous again, he looked around without moving from the bed. His eyes fell on the bedside table and he pulled open the drawer. There were several things cluttered inside, but lying at the very top, catching Draco's attention at once, was Sirius's wand. He slowly pulled it out of the drawer and rotated it between his fingers. He had never had the experience of running away himself, but seeing Sirius go through with it was...surreal.
He'd left absolutely everything behind. It wasn't at all what Draco had always pictured running away to be like. He didn't have a bag packed somewhere in his room, ready to go at moment's notice. He didn't have goodbye speeches prepared or escape plans or exit routes. Sirius had really acted in the moment, forgetting everything. Leaving everything behind. He saw an opportunity and he got out. And somehow, Draco had never felt more jealous of anyone in his entire life...
...timelines combined.
He placed the wand safely back in the drawer and shut it tight, making a mental note to pack it with him at the end of the holidays. He then looked down at the note lying beside him.
Sirius is alright.
-J
That was it. After five days of silence, that was all that James had to say. No 'What the hell happened over there?' No 'Are you sure you don't want to come here too?' Nothing. Just that Sirius was alright. Draco shoved the letter off of the bed and sighed in frustration. How dare James do this? Hadn't he earned just a little more respect than that by now?
There came another loud chime throughout the house, and at that point, Draco growled in frustration and threw himself off the bed, grabbing his wand on his way out of the room. He hurried down the stairs, silently cursing at Alistair for not taking care of that stupid clock.
When he got to the first floor however, he stopped himself from turning in the direction of the Sitting Room, because at the end of the long corridor, he saw that the door to the Drawing Room was open just a crack, which was something that never happened. Deciding that a little magic wouldn't hurt anyone, Draco lit the tip of his wand and slowly crept along the corridor, keeping as silent as possible. By the time he reached the crack of the door, he saw a little light illuminating from inside the room. A closer look told him that it was coming from a candle which Walburga was holding as she stood in the dark room and examined the family tapestry on the wall. Draco watched her for a while, wondering whether she did this every night or just tonight. And then, out of nowhere, she suddenly let out an uncharacteristic yell and shoved the candle at a bottom corner of the tapestry, thus darkening the room altogether.
"Nox," Draco whispered at once and shoved himself up against the wall, holding in his breath.
Walburga stayed in the room for several more seconds before she stomped out of it...crying. She passed right by Draco in the darkness and hurried on up the stairs at the end of the corridor. Draco remained rooted to the spot for a long time (until he was absolutely sure that she was gone). Then, he slowly let himself breathe again and turned in the direction of the Drawing Room.
"Lumos," he whispered, pushing the door open and walking into the empty room. Moonlight was coming in through the windows and the smell of burnt candle littered the room altogether. Draco pointed his wand at the tapestry and walked right up to it, stopping in front of the large black hole that had been burnt right into the wall, where just moments ago, Sirius's name had been proudly displayed as an equal member of the Black family.
Draco stared at the burn mark for a long time, forgetting all about the clock that chimed throughout the house several more times. He just stood there, his wand at his side, and stared at what would be Sirius's name on the tapestry, wondering just what exactly this meant for the future, and how he, Draco, was to blame.
When he awoke the next morning in Sirius's bed, it was to a strangely large pile of nicely wrapped, sparkling gifts. It took him a minute to register what day it was and why these gifts were piled on the bed. He slowly sat up, holding his head and feeling far more hungover than he'd felt earlier that week. He turned his head in the direction of the window with the sweater hanging over it and light peeking into the room. Finally remembering everything, Draco sat up more in bed and sighed deeply before his eyes fell on the long, poorly wrapped object lying on top of the pile of presents.
He shoved the covers aside and pulled the broom towards him, ripping off the rest of the wrapping and gasping in exhilaration. A brand new Thunderbolt VI. A newer, better version than what James and Sirius had, which were only the Thunderbolt V. Draco was pretty sure he'd only ever seen one other person with this broom, and it was the very same person who had decided to give it to him now.
Draco smiled briefly at the note that Regulus had scribbled, explaining that if he didn't join a team—any team—soon, this broom would go to waste. If only he, Regulus, knew what kinds of brooms the future would offer...
A lump formed in Draco's throat. Now that he thought about it, Regulus never did come to know because he didn't live that long.
He gently placed the broom aside and picked a small package from the pile, tearing off the card attached to it.
Just a little something to sweeten your Christmas!
Lily
Draco frowned at the card and tore off the wrapper of the present to reveal a small package with different flavoured chocolate candies.
Odd.
He hadn't expected anything from her, and now that he'd gotten it, he felt even worse. Not because he hadn't shopped for her, but because he couldn't help but wonder if she'd shopped for any of the marauders. Well, Remus maybe. That thought actually made him feel slightly better now. He shoved the present away and pulled a slightly larger one towards him.
You probably already know everything in here, but I thought you'd like it anyway. Happy Christmas, mate.
Remus
It was a fairly thick, golden bound book baring the title Brewing and Searching—the Secret to a True Alchemist's Success. The cover had a drawing of a brewing cauldron with potion bubbles coming out. Draco smiled. Remus really didn't know him one bit. But that was actually fairly funny to him. He moved on to the next present.
Peter. Frank. Alice. More candy packages, some nice words...Peter had even thrown in a fancy quill, which made Draco feel slightly bad about the not-so-nice quill that he himself had bought for Peter. Frank had also sported for a fanged frisbee, which was sort of great. Draco had always secretly wanted one.
He hated admitting it, but the more presents he opened, the more he felt like a child again, and was actually able to forget about the nightmare that was last night. He himself had had a hard few months, and for now, he would simply enjoy the fact that it was Christmas morning, and that he, Draco, had managed to reach many hearts in the little time that he'd spent in this timeline.
When he'd reached James's gift, he hesitated before unfolding the card. By the looks of the way James had been treating him lately, he'd honestly thought that he wouldn't send anything. But the card told him that whatever James had prepared for him, he'd prepared weeks, perhaps months ago.
So listen, even though you're kind of weird for not wanting to join the team, you're still our friend and you're still Sirius's family so technically you're my family too. We've had these tickets for months now but once you entered the picture we figured you'd be psyched to come with us. The game is on August 17 so you still have time to prepare yourself for how epic it's gonna be. By the way, whatever you got me better be good because this game was sold out three weeks ago and it took some serious pulling of strings to get you this ticket.
Happy Christmas, man.
James
Draco's jaw merely dropped as he pulled out the colourful ticket from the envelope and stared at it. The silver letters plastered on the top were enough just to get his heart racing. A ticket for a seat in a match he had grown up hearing about, but had never ever dreamed he would watch. The Appleby Arrows were playing the Falmouth Falcons that upcoming summer in the British and Irish Quidditch League. It was a match Draco had heard his father talk about many times whenever the subject of Quidditch had come up. And even though he already knew the end result of it, Draco also knew that there was no way in hell he was missing this game, if it meant that he would see his father there.
Now having something to look forward to this summer, he placed the ticket on the bedside table and grinned like a little child as he moved on to the next present.
Sirius had left a small package, which as Draco opened, he realized was wrapped very well indeed. The more wrapping paper he tore off, the more seemed to appear somehow. He was just starting to think that maybe Sirius had placed some kind of a spell on it when he finally reached the end foil. He carefully lifted it to reveal what looked to be the shard of a small mirror. The corners had been no doubt cast to avoid inflicting any cuts to the person handling the mirror, but it was still very obvious that the mirror had once been whole and complete. Draco frowned at his reflection and then picked up the note again.
It's a two-way mirror. James and I each have one. We use them to talk whenever those git teachers put us in separate detentions. Now you have one too, so I suppose it'll be three-way. Let the mischief commence...
Sirius
Draco frowned down at the object, realizing it was rare indeed but not quite sure how to work it. He gently placed it aside, next to his ticket, and then turned his head in the direction of another present which looked to be a book. Who on earth could this be from, if not Dumbledore...
But he was wrong. The note on the front told him that this was Severus's gift. Draco was almost startled as he tore off the wrapping paper. He hadn't expected Severus to shop for him at all. But then he revealed what looked to be his own copy of Advanced Potion Making and frowned even more. He was right not to expect Severus to shop for him.
He flipped open the book. Yep, sure enough.
Draco Black was written on the inside cover, in his own handwriting, just as he'd done back in September.
This made zero sense.
He flipped through the pages, not understanding until his eyes finally caught what was different about every page since the last time he'd touched this book. In fact, all this time, he'd been sure that this book lay on his bedside table...back in his dormitory at Hogwarts.
It was his book, alright. But every page was now positively littered with notes upon notes and scribbled handwriting which he could only recognize as belonging to Severus. He frowned down at the miniscule writing, recognizing the formulas and the theories and the side notes. Then, he picked up the note from the wrapping again.
Now you have one too.
Severus
Draco smiled. He couldn't believe that his friend had actually gone to the trouble of charming his own bloody copy of the book just to make it look like his.
There came a knock at the door, but before Draco could shove any of the things off of the bed, the door burst open and Regulus hopped in, looking thrilled and ecstatic. On his shoulder, sat an angelic-looking golden snidget, which was twisting its head around madly as Regulus hopped on over to the bed and grinned at Draco.
"THANK YOU," he beamed at him.
Draco smiled.
"Yeah, no problem, man."
"No seriously," Regulus repeated. "You have no idea...How did you even...I've always wanted one!"
Draco laughed. "Happy Christmas to you too, Reg." He picked up the broom and smiled at the kid. "Thanks for this."
"Yeah, anytime, man!" Regulus cried, reaching up to tickle the little bird on his shoulder again.
Draco laughed again and sat back on the bed. "So d'you name him yet?"
Regulus laughed and looked at his shoulder again. "Nah, he's too cute and there are endless possibilities. I'll get a name soon, don't worry."
His eyes then fell on something on the bed and he exclaimed and picked it up.
"Whoa, you got one? That's great!"
"What?" said Draco, frowning at the white envelope that Regulus was now waving in the air, which come to think of it, Draco had failed to notice before. "What is that?"
"You don't know?" said Regulus, ripping it open and pulling out an official looking piece of paper. He turned it in his hands so that Draco could read it.
This certificate states that a trust fund has been opened in the name of Draco Black at Gringotts Wizarding Bank, with a current starter sum of ten thousand galleons. An additional three thousand galleons will be added to the fund at the end of each month from this day forward. The trust fund will be open to access when the guarantors, Orion Black and Walburga Black, declare the inheritor of age under common wizarding law. Until such time, the inheritor is granted a maximum withdrawal limit of one hundred galleons each month.
Signed, the goblin Gimmerick.
Draco looked up at Regulus.
"Ten thousand galleons?" he whispered.
"Welcome to the family," Regulus smiled.
"Whoa," said Draco, taking the certificate in his hands and examining it more closely. Of all the presents...he really hadn't expected getting anything from the Blacks. His invitation to their home had been far too formal, even thought his gift itself was, although generous, very formal in itself. They hadn't included a personal message or acknowledged the occasion. It was simply more like. . .'Hey there, welcome to the family. Here's money. See you next year.' But somehow, Draco didn't care very much. Now, he finally had money again.
"Hey so we have to go, man," said Regulus, pulling Draco's focus away from his inheritance.
"Hmm?" he said.
"Yeah, Lionel is setting the table as we speak. Big Christmas breakfast, y'know..."
"But..."
"I'll tell them you're getting dressed, alright?"
Regulus hurried out the door with his golden snidget still on his shoulder.
Draco sighed. It felt totally and completely surreal, that one night could be so heartbreakingly tragic, yet the next morning exhilaratingly exciting. He pulled himself out of bed and cleaned up the mess that he'd caused on it, placing all his gifts on one of the armchairs in the corner of the room. He walked up to the window again and repositioned the sweater. Then, he moved around the room and pulled clothes on, trying to fix himself up in the mirror and look as professional and as Black-approving as he possibly could.
Just when he was about to walk out the door, he spotted something out of the corner of his eye...something that he'd missed. A small, unopened package was still lying on Sirius's bed with a tiny note attached to it. Draco frowned as he moved towards it and pulled the note out.
Pointing to another world will never stop vice among us; shedding light over this world can alone help us.
The note didn't have to be signed for Draco to know who it was from. Even in his sleep, he'd be able to recognize that perfect slanted handwriting. Draco put down the note and lifted the carefully wrapped package, tearing it slowly to reveal some kind of purple cloth. He put down the wrapping, unfolded the cloth as well, and pulled out a small silver object which he rotated in his hand for a moment. It looked kind of like one of those things muggles liked to use to light their cigarettes, but somehow, Draco doubted that's what this actually was. Dumbledore had his issues, that was true, and sometimes, Draco wondered just how disturbed he actually was. But if there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that Dumbledore would never gift him a cigarette lighter for Christmas.
"Oy Draco!" Regulus said, popping his head back into the room. "You comin'?"
"Yeah," Draco said instantly, tossing the strange lighter thing into his pile of gifts and following after Regulus.
That weekend at Grimmauld Place had to be the worst weekend Draco had ever had to endure. Things were far too awkward and quiet for his liking. He felt like a ghost, wandering about the house trying not to draw attention to himself. And it didn't help the matter at all that Orion and Walburga were pretending like nothing had happened. They had breakfast with the boys on Christmas morning and by afternoon, all the decorations were taken down and the house was back to its usual, ancestral state.
On the whole, Draco was able to calm down since the aftermath of Sirius running away from home. He did however get miniature surges of panic every once in a while when the fact hit him hard. Lucky for him though, Regulus didn't notice. He was far too busy enjoying his golden snidget, whom he'd chosen to call Ferris and carried on his shoulder everywhere he went.
But even Draco couldn't hide the fact that the marauders' lack of communication over the holidays was affecting him deeply. He felt more genuinely ticked off, especially at how James had responded to the whole situation. By Saturday night though, he couldn't resist picking up a quill and writing out a hurried letter to Remus, which he shipped with one of the many owls at the Black family's service. Ever since his arrival in this timeline, Draco had found that Remus had been more gracious and open-minded than the other boys. He was like a miniature Dumbledore in that way. So if any of the boys were going to assure him that Sirius running away was not his fault, then it would be Remus.
For most of the weekend, Draco kept to Regulus's side, hanging out around the house, playing more wizard's chess but mostly spending time in Regulus's bedroom (which Draco had grown to admire very much). It was slightly smaller than Sirius's room, but definitely just as littered with things that outlined his personality perfectly. The walls, windows and bed were draped with emerald and silver, the trademark colours of Slytherin. He also had his family motto painted on the wall just over his bed in black, cursive letters. It was very 'Regulus' of him to have it there, but Draco was far too distracted by the whole Sirius scandal to care very much about anything else now. He did however make a mental note to mention it to Regulus later. Having grown up in Regulus's shoes exactly, Draco realized now how similar their childhood bedrooms were, and this fact alone annoyed him a great deal.
"Alistair said that mother and father will be out for most of the day so we can do whatever we want basically," Regulus announced after breakfast on Sunday.
"Great," said Draco without looking up from the Morning Prophet.
Indeed, nothing Black-family-related had been reported on in the past few days, and Draco was mighty glad so as well, because the way Orion had threatened them...well, Draco himself wouldn't want to challenge him.
It was funny actually, how little Orion reminded him of his own father. At first, he'd thought they'd be completely alike. But now that he'd gotten to know Orion a little more, he was far more grateful to have grown up with his own father than with this one. Never, in all his years growing up in that house, had he ever felt afraid of living amongst his parents. He'd felt nervous at times, anxious even, and definitely always willing to do whatever he could to please them. He'd gotten his fair share of smacks, that was for sure. But he couldn't recall ever feeling scared of them or wanting to run away...at least, not until last year when things got...messy. And even that, he couldn't blame them for.
"Draaaco?"
"Hmm?"
"It's your turn."
"Oh."
Draco looked down at the chessboard in front of him and frowned. "Rook to E5."
"What's on your mind?" Regulus asked, giving Ferris a little pat before shrugging him off and looking down at the chessboard.
"Just thinkin'," Draco shrugged, watching his beaten up rook be carried out of the chessboard by one of Regulus's knights.
"What about?" Regulus said without looking up.
"Somethin' that Sev told me a while ago actually," Draco said, catching his attention at once. Regulus looked up at him with anticipation. "He mentioned that a lotta you Slytherins carry secondary wands."
"Yeah...?"
"Do you?"
Regulus smiled. "Nah, I have a very decent wand. I've no need for a second one."
"Well Sev said that—"
"Sev needs to learn when to keep his mouth shut," Regulus interrupted in a would-be calm sort of voice that struck Draco as odd.
"Sorry," he mumbled at the look that Draco gave him now. "It's just...they've been tryin' to get me to buy a second wand for ages now and I don't really want to." He paused and looked at Draco. "Don't tell anyone this, but I feel a kind of...loyalty to my wand, y'know? And um, if I got another one or a third one, it'd feel like I was cheating and I don't wanna do that."
"I get it," said Draco, quickly. "I was just wondering 'cause I caught Sev with the second wand and I hadn't realized...I mean they're expensive...and your—um, I mean our family, is rich so it wouldn't be a problem for you..."
"True," said Regulus, moving one of his pieces on the chessboard, "But it's not like Sev bought that second wand for himself."
"He didn't?"
"Nah man, that was Wilkes' gift to him."
"It was?!"
Regulus looked up at Draco with a curious expression. "I thought he'd told you."
"No," Draco shook his head. "He didn't."
"Oops," said Regulus, pausing. "You—"
"I won't say anything, relax," said Draco at once. There was silence. He moved one of his pieces and then sat back against the wall and looked at Regulus. "So why didn't Wilkes get you a wand too?"
"I never said he didn't," said Regulus without looking at him. "I just said that I haven't accepted any secondary wands over the years."
Draco frowned, wondering if that meant that Regulus indeed was a little different from that troubled group of boys and that there was indeed hope for him after all.
"Hey, Reg?"
"Yeah?"
"Severus told me a while ago about...about how you guys all got to know each other."
"Mhm," said Regulus, too concentrated on the game to really hear what Draco was saying.
"...and um, I asked him how you specifically entered that group of friends..." Draco continued.
This time, Regulus stopped and actually looked up at him, finally understanding what he was getting at.
"And what did Severus tell you?" he finally asked in a small voice when Draco didn't continue.
"Nothing," Draco assured him at once. "He said he'd rather you told me, if I really wanted to know, that is."
"I see," said Regulus, looking down at his lap before adding, "And now you're sayin' you want to know..."
"Well," said Draco, giving a light nod.
Regulus nodded too.
"I suppose I can't blame you for being curious," he began, crossing his legs on the carpet and his voice entering story mode. Draco sat up too. "I assume Sirius has told you about what happened after I was sorted into Slytherin."
"He only said that you guys stopped talking after Christmastime," said Draco, "That you'd given it your best effort to keep in touch but by then, you'd both sort of just given up."
"Not exactly," said Regulus, shaking his head. "I mean, yeah that was obviously part of it but not the full reason."
"I'm listening," said Draco, eager to hear every part of this.
Regulus sighed again. "Well around Christmastime was when I started to really get to know some of these guys, y'know? Before that, I'd only spoken with Severus and by then he'd become a good friend. But Sirius and his friends had this war going on with Severus so it made it hard to talk to him. And Wilkes...well, he was interested in me the moment I started at Hogwarts and he kept trying to get me to have lunch with him and his mates or to hang out with them in the common room."
"Did you?"
"No," said Regulus in a quiet voice. "I was very intimidated by him at the time. Sirius had warned me about the Slytherins and I didn't listen to him one bit, but when it came to Wilkes, I kept my distance because he felt...well, off. And besides, I just kept hearing Sirius's voice in my head every time Wilkes tried to talk to me. He was a third year kid and probably the scariest one I knew."
"So what happened?"
Regulus paused and looked around the room again. Draco started.
"Not here," Regulus finally said, getting up from the carpet.
"Fine, let's go outside then," said Draco, following suit. "I have to take back that tie anyway. It's appalling. We'll go to that antique shop again."
They left the chessboard for Alistair to clean up and hurried to get their winter stuff before bolting out the door. Outside, the cool winter air actually made Draco shiver and he bundled up as best as he could, his tie in a bag. It was an odd sensation, walking the muggle streets with Regulus. Last time they'd done that, Sirius had been with them.
"So you were saying...?" Draco said once they were finally a safe distance from Grimmauld Place.
"Right," said Regulus, looking at his feet as they walked through the snow. "So um, basically, in a nutshell..."
"No, Reg, not in a nutshell," Draco suddenly interrupted, "I want the full story and I want it now."
Regulus, looking a little startled, nodded.
"It took a couple of major fights with Sirius for me to stop talking with him on a regular basis. And then I entered second year and Barty started talking with Wilkes and..."
"Wait, Barty?" said Draco.
"Yeah, you know...Crouch Junior? I'm the only one that calls him Barty because we're the closest."
"Because you two are the youngest in the group..." said Draco, finally understanding.
"Right," said Regulus, "So um, you know, him and Sev, they were my only friends really, and they were both with Wilkes constantly so I...I caved. And then I started hanging out with the guys sometimes but not always like the other two did. I still kept restrained because fucking Sirius's voice was always at the back of my mind, warning me about alternate intentions and dark arts and so on."
He paused, turning the corner with Draco to a smaller street adjacent to theirs.
"Well...around October in my second year, I suppose I'd already gained a reputation for being Wilkes' next...you know...and um, there was already all this talk about me doing some kind of initiation thing to sort of become...official in their group. But I just thought it was talk, you know? I didn't actually take any of it seriously and I don't think at the time I realized just how far this talk had gotten, that basically the entire school knew. What can I say, I was..."
"...naïve," Draco finished.
"Anyway, it was during a Potions lesson..." Regulus continued, looking more serious now and slightly grim, "I was really into Potions stuff, even back then, and Slughorn was very proud of it too. But I guess I didn't read all of the instructions...and Barty, you know, he wanted me to be a member more than anyone else I think. So he sort of helped me out there...but I didn't realize that's what he was doing...and then he convinced this Hufflepuff kid in our grade that it was just juice and he got him to actually drink it. And by the time I realized what he was doing, it was already too late."
"What happened to the kid?" said Draco, his throat feeling dry.
"Enough that he had to spend a month at St. Mungo's..."
"Seriously?" said Draco in a quiet voice.
"Barty thought that if it looked like I'd intentionally poisoned some kid in Hufflepuff, well...that it would be enough of an initiation..."
"...that it would be enough for Wilkes," Draco concluded.
Regulus swallowed before continuing. "I'll never forget the looks on my parents' faces when they dragged me to Dumbledore's office that night after they found out he was gonna expel me."
"Wait," said Draco, stopping his stride and turning to look at Regulus. "Dumbledore was actually gonna expel you?"
Regulus nodded silently.
"But he wouldn't do that unless..."
"Unless what I did was really, really bad," Regulus finished. "And it was. But my parents wouldn't hear any of it. They dragged me to his office and...my mother especially, she got so mad at him for even suggesting that I be thrown out of school for my behaviour."
"Yeah I can imagine," said Draco, softly. "So what happened then?"
Regulus turned away from Draco and went to sit on a nearby bench. Eager to find out more, Draco followed and sat beside him. There was no way he was leaving this story halfway.
"Kelvin Candor," Regulus finally answered, his eyes on the snow. "That's what happened."
"Go on," said Draco slowly, setting his bag down and looking at Regulus.
"I didn't know who he was at the time, I'd never even spoken to him before that. But there he was, standing in Dumbledore's office, feeding him and my parents this tale of how he'd had problems with the Hufflepuff kid and he'd been planning this revenge ever since, but that somehow, Barty had gotten mixed up and had assumed that it was my doing. He said that he'd had someone sabotage my potion that day so that no one would be able to trace it back to him and then everything went according to plan, except that they hadn't expected Barty to go telling everyone that it was me who'd done this." Regulus paused now. "So basically, he told Dumbledore that it was all his fault."
"And he believed that?" said Draco, finding it hard to imagine a world where Albus Dumbledore was easily deceived by some dumb school kid.
"Candor had people to vouch for him," Regulus added. "And he was in fourth year at the time, with Wilkes...kind of hard for people to imagine that a second year like me would be able to do something so dark, right?"
"Was he under Wilkes' wing too?" Draco wondered, but Regulus quickly shook his head now.
"Candor never liked Wilkes. Even though he was in Slytherin and in his year, he stayed as far away from him as he could."
"Then why take the blame for something that you supposedly did?" said Draco, not understanding.
Regulus looked up at him. "Because Wilkes had something on him. I found out later that night when I returned to my common room. Dumbledore had settled for giving me a week's worth of detentions for 'negligence in a situation that could have been avoided altogether'. And Candor was sentenced to two months of carefully monitored detentions."
"He wasn't expelled?!" cried Draco.
"His parents were fairly well connected," Regulus smiled, "So of course not." He paused. "Wilkes had thought of everything."
"So...Wilkes did this then..." said Draco.
"He was the reason I got off, yeah," said Regulus quietly. "And that night when I came back to the dungeons...he was sitting by himself near the fire and he...he asked me questions about the meeting. Like...like he wanted to know what had happened..."
"And you told him..." said Draco.
"And he sort of cryptically, vaguely and indirectly, said 'you're welcome'," said Regulus. "That's how I knew that from that moment on, I owed him." He looked at Draco now. "I owed him big time. Because of him, I wasn't...ugh, I can just only imagine how much worse it would have been for me than it was for Sirius, if I really did get expelled from Hogwarts that night..."
Draco sat back on the bench and sighed deeply. That was a chunk load of information, such that he knew he needed, but now that he'd learned it, wished he hadn't. He looked at Regulus now.
"Do you regret it?" he asked in a small, quiet voice.
"Every day," Regulus answered without looking at him. "That night, I cried myself to sleep."
"Why?"
There was a pause in which Regulus looked on ahead at the muggle street, watching some children in the distance throw snow at each other and laugh.
"Because that night," he finally said, his eyes still on the children, "That night, the very thing that I'd wanted to avoid, happened." He then turned to Draco. "And I realized I was powerless to change it."
Draco didn't bother asking Regulus the details of what had happened to that Hufflepuff kid, because the truth was, he really didn't want to know. The story had been bad enough and had changed a lot of how Draco had looked at Regulus up until now. But still, he knew that it was his mission to change this kid's life...to alter his future and to give him that second chance. He just realized now, as he walked with him back to that antique shop to return his tie, that doing this would be a lot more difficult than he'd originally anticipated.
When they finally got back to Grimmauld Place that afternoon, Regulus made Draco promise that he wouldn't repeat that story to anyone for as long as he should live. And Draco promised, realizing that it took some serious courage for Regulus to trust him enough to tell it to him.
"I'm just gonna put the new tie away," he told him when they got back and Regulus suggested they finish their game in the sitting room.
Draco hurried up the stairs to Sirius's bedroom and was sure to shut the door carefully behind him. All weekend, he'd been playing bodyguard, making sure that no one entered this bedroom without his own presence there. It was what Sirius would have wanted, anyway.
But just as he placed the tie on the dresser and was about to leave, he noticed the owl sitting by the sweater-covered window and staring at him expectedly. Draco frowned as he walked up to the owl and removed the letter attached to it. Realizing who it was from, he quickly knelt down to his knees and ripped it open, forgetting completely that Regulus was downstairs waiting for him.
Dear Draco,
I was actually surprised to hear from you, I didn't think the Blacks would let you write to any of Sirius's friends. I've never personally met them but I've heard loads of stories, and I suppose, many of them being from Sirius, that I'm biased in the matter. But still, I can't imagine that they're being rather too pleasant at the moment, given everything that's going on.
I've spoken with James and he says that Sirius is well, so you needn't worry. Seriously, don't stress out about it. Just try to enjoy the rest of the holidays as best as you can. Spend some time with Regulus and don't overthink it. I don't know how Sirius's parents are treating you but however it is, just remember that you'll be back at Hogwarts soon with the people who love you, so don't take any of it to heart. I can't even imagine what you're going through right now but just know that Sirius is perfectly fine and that he is safe.
As for me, don't worry. I'm actually feeling quite fine. I don't think it's going to be a bad one.
And also, thank you for the thesaurus. It was a brilliant gift.
Best of luck and see you soon,
Moony
P.S. I think that you should just hold on to Sirius's stuff for him until the train next week. It's what I would do
Draco looked up from the letter, not quite sure if he felt worse or better now that he'd read it. It was nice to hear back from someone, that was true. But still...he'd hoped for something more, though even he didn't know exactly what.
The rest of the day was...odd. He couldn't stop thinking about Regulus's story, and the more he hung out with him, the more he thought about it. Orion and Walburga weren't home for dinner so at least Draco had one less thing to worry about as he dined with Regulus in the dining room alone. Shortly after dinner, he told Regulus that he wanted to get to bed early that night because he was very tired. And so Regulus bid him a good night and let him go off on his own. But back in Sirius's room, sleep was the last thing that he wanted to do.
Draco read over Remus's letter several more times before falling back on the bed, his eyes on the ceiling. He couldn't imagine a world where Remus would lie to him...yet at the same time he couldn't imagine a world where Sirius would be 'well' after everything that'd happened. Even he felt sick just thinking back to that night and to how calm Orion had seemed about having Christmas dinner despite everything that had happened.
He wasn't sure what time it was or whether he actually felt tired, but soon he felt himself drifting off to sleep, his hand sliding down the side of the bed and dropping Remus's letter to the carpeted floor.
And then, sooner than he'd hoped, he was right back on the Astronomy Tower on that cold June night, his wand shaking in his hand and tears in his eyes as he looked at the old man standing before him, years and years of wisdom staring back.
"You don't have to do this, Draco," he repeated.
"SHUT UP!" he wanted to yell at him. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
But nothing came out. His voice was gone and only tears flowed in his eyes. He needed to do this. He was going to do this, the spell was just at the tip of his tongue. But every second that he thought he was going to do it, something stopped him and he wanted to scream.
Then, just like every time that he had this dream, the door opened and a figure stepped onto the tower platform. But this time, it wasn't the adult Severus. It was some Slytherin student who resembled Wilkes a great deal and had a smirk on his face.
"Come on, they're waiting," said Kelvin Candor, motioning for Draco to follow him.
Draco frowned at him, wiping the tears from his face, and turned to look back at Dumbledore.
"Go on," the old man nodded.
Draco found his feet dragging him after Candor, through the door of the tower and into a room filled with loads of wedding guests in formal wear and with drinks in their hands. Music was playing and some couples were twisting on the dancefloor under the bright lights. But Draco only followed Candor through the crowd until he reached two young people, smiling at him with sparkles in their eyes.
"Draco, I'm so happy you could make it!" his mother beamed at him, pulling him into a tight hug. Her white dress flowed down to the floor in a rich, elegant way.
"We thought you wouldn't show," his father said once she'd released him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He was looking very formal in his black dress robes and his hair tied in a knot at the back of his head.
"It's good to see you again," he added more quietly, so that the other wedding guests wouldn't hear.
"I..." said Draco, his wand hand still shaking and his throat too tight to say much else.
And then, the scene changed and Draco found himself standing in the courtroom once again, watching the guards pull his father away from him, not knowing when he would see him again, if ever. His mother had tears in her eyes as she took his hand in hers and watched the love of her life leave her. And it was all Draco could do not to break down in front of her and make matters worse. He'd promised his father that he would stay strong throughout this and he had every intention of keeping that promise.
But still, the tears formed in his eyes again now, and when he tried to wipe them off, they only came down harder. Then, he was walking out of the courtroom with his mother again, only to find himself right back on that tower with Dumbledore standing before him, waiting.
"You are no assassin, Draco," he said to him now. "And it's not your fault. None—of—it is your fault."
"I've done things that would shock you, Dumbledore!" Draco cried, his hand shaking again as his wand pointed at the headmaster. "You...you don't know what I am! You don't know what I'm capable of."
"Draco, you don't know what you're capable of," said Dumbledore.
Then, there was a loud bang down below and Draco's eyes flew open. He was covered in a fresh sheen of sweat and the room was abysmally cold, with the wind howling madly behind the sweater on the window. Gasping for several long minutes, Draco looked round at the clock on the bedside table. 2 AM.
He brought his hands to his head and held it hard, willing it to stop pounding. His heart was racing in his ears now and his fingers were tingling with a mad sensation...like this was his last night on earth. If he didn't know any better, he would say that he had a fever.
He pulled himself off of Sirius's bed and stepped on Remus's letter on the floor without even realizing it at first. His head still in his hands, he paced about the room for a long time, taking shaky breaths and trying to think about something—anything—that would pull him out of this frantic state that he was in. But no matter what he tried to think about, that dream always came back to him.
Realizing that staying there in Sirius's room wasn't doing him any good, he opened the door and let himself out, his wand illuminating the dark corridors as he walked. He kept his wand hand outstretched before him while his other hand moved along the walls as he walked, keeping him steady and on his feet. His breathing did not calm, even after he'd reached the second floor. In fact, his heart was pounding so hard now, that it was a miracle he was still able to breathe at all. He'd have thought that such acceleration would have destroyed his cardiorespiratory system indefinitely.
He reached the first floor and looked around carefully before proceeding to the Sitting Room, where the fireplace was still crackling in the corner. There, he paced some more, his thoughts wholly screaming at him. He could still hear Dumbledore's voice in his ears. He could hear the wedding guests laughing and the music playing. He could see his mother smiling with tears in her eyes. He could see his father yelling for him to take care of her as he followed the guards to his unfortunate fate in Azkaban Prison. And all of it was playing on a loop inside his head, making him want to growl and throw himself out a window if it would make it stop.
He left the Sitting Room and proceeded on to the next room where he found a grand piano among many sitting areas and family portraits. Heart still pounding, he moved to stand near the window where he could watch the snow storm in the cool night. Everything was covered in white and more and more was falling. He pressed his face against the ice cold window and concentrated on taking deep breaths. But after a while, this got old and he could feel the panic rising inside of him.
Once again, he departed from the room and moved on to the next.
One by one, he entered various rooms throughout the house, his wand illuminating his path as he wandered. All the while, his thoughts shouted at him that it was all his fault that Sirius had left home. That if it hadn't been for him, Draco, Walburga would have never pushed Sirius over the edge.
He now stopped on the stairs and leaned against the railing, resting his head on it for a few moments and trying harder than ever to steady his breathing. Never had the thought crossed his mind that his presence in this timeline was toxic. Never had it occurred to him that he could be the problem here...that he was an interference and that he was the part of the equation that needed to be eliminated before things got worse...
His hands were burning now as he forced himself up the stairs and proceeded to the next room in the house, a cozy, spacious one with a fireplace as well. Here too, he walked up to the window and stood there for several moments. Then, he began pacing again, his mind back on the Astronomy Tower and the look on Dumbledore's face—the look that still haunted him in his dreams—that told him how little faith he had left in him. The look that told him he was no longer repairable. Looking back now, Draco knew that that look could kill, and that it would be too soon if he saw that look again.
Breathing frantically again, Draco buried his face in his hands and let himself fall back on one of the chairs in the room, rocking himself back and forth and trying desperately to hush his cries. He didn't need anyone noticing that he was out of bed and finding him in this state. It would simply shred his cover to pieces because he doubted that right now he would be able to tell a single lie to anyone. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably and his hands and face were still sweaty and pale white. He knew that he would scare the life out of anyone who saw him right now.
"I'd bet any amount of galleons right now that you wish you could go back to your time," said a voice in his ears.
Draco brought his head up from his hands, his eyes round with shock, tears still flowing out of them.
"I'd bet you would even go back tonight if you could," said the voice.
Draco started. Had he really lost it completely? Was this the end of his life as he knew it? Was he to spend the rest of his days at St. Mungo's, like Wilkes and so many others?
"Am I wrong?" said the voice, finally hitting recognition in Draco's head.
He sighed deeply, still shaking slightly but less now than before.
"You know I am right," said the voice again. "You know it, I know it, even Dumbledore knows it."
Draco swallowed hard before saying, "Great."
"Oh but the best part about all this..." the voice continued, letting out a light chuckle, "...is that you really can't go back now, can you?"
Draco turned his head to look at the portrait on the left wall with a grim expression on his face.
"What do you want from me?" he asked in a childlike voice.
"Merely amusement for myself," said Phineas Nigellus, grinning back at him.
Draco turned his head away from him again and took another shaky breath.
If it hadn't been for how he was feeling right about now, he would have questioned how it was that Phineas Nigellus had two portraits, one here and one at Hogwarts, wherein he could coexist. But none of that mattered now. He breathed again, his head starting to spin and letting out surges of pain every few minutes.
"Adolescence," Phineas Nigellus continued now, "Such a dramatic time in a person's life. Everything wrong with the world seems to be all that matters. And every tiny little problem is the end of the world."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Draco said, turning his head to look at him again.
"And attitude is unbecoming in people, I might add," Phineas Nigellus declared, giving Draco a dark look.
"Whatever," said Draco, turning away from him again, his eyes falling on the fireplace before him.
He'd obviously chosen the wrong room in the house to end his little pacing trip, but he felt much too tired now to get up and leave. Besides, what was a few more minutes?
"No, he is not asleep," Phineas Nigellus said now. "Oh I'm just having a laugh, what is wrong with doing that?"
Draco turned back to the portrait but found that Phineas Nigellus was actually leaving it now, and headed for the tunnel behind him. He shifted in his seat slightly, narrowing his eyes to check if they were playing tricks on him. But no, sure enough, Phineas Nigellus had actually left his own portrait.
Brilliant. He could not only coexist in them, but he could also travel in between them.
"Alright, alright, I hear you," said Phineas Nigellus, now appearing again in his portrait and giving Draco another look.
"What?" Draco said to him, now on his feet and taking slow steps towards him.
"The headmaster would like to speak with you," he replied, his arms folded in front of him.
"Now?!" said Draco, his eyebrows raised.
"Yes, now," said Dumbledore's voice from the fireplace.
Draco jumped back.
Dumbledore's face was illuminating in the firelight right before his very eyes, in the corner of the room.
"What...how..." said Draco, staring at him but not believing.
"The Floo Network has many uses and many forms, Draco, I trust you know that," said Dumbledore. "Now, tell me what happened."
Draco fell to his knees so that he was leveled with Dumbledore in the fireplace and continued to stare at him, his eyes now dry. He let his wand drop and roll away from him on the floor.
"I...loads!" he cried.
And then, he proceeded with the tale of what went down with Sirius and Walburga, and how Sirius had been injured upon getting out, and how he'd officially run away, and how Orion had given that speech in the Sitting Room and had basically threatened everyone to keep their silence, and how they then had Christmas dinner like nothing had happened. He then proceeded to recount his entire dream to Dumbledore, the only detail that he left out being that it was Candor who was escorting him between scenes. He felt it best not to mention the name, given that so far he'd avoided mentioning Regulus's tale altogether. The kid had entrusted him with this secret and he wasn't going to break his trust now.
When he was all done, he looked at Dumbledore long and hard, who also seemed to be looking back at him the same way.
"Do you think..." he finally began, in a calm, quiet voice, "...that perhaps your spending all this time at Grimmauld Place is what brought this dream on?"
"I..." said Draco, breathing loudly now to try and control his heartbeat. "I dunno...I-I guess?"
He paused, looking at Dumbledore.
"Perhaps spending the holidays there wasn't such a good idea then," Dumbledore admitted. "I apologize that I did not realize this before, Draco. I didn't think it would have this kind of effect on you."
"Ha, that's because you never let me tell you anything about that other life," Draco blurted out, giving Dumbledore a resentful look.
"What does that mean?" said Dumbledore after a brief silence. "Draco, you know that I care deeply and sincerely about you."
Draco brought his head to his hands again and took several deep breaths before looking back at Dumbledore with tears in his eyes.
"Do you?" he confronted. "Really?"
"Yes," Dumbledore repeated. "Deeply...and sincerely."
"You know what, I find that really hard to believe, professor, especially since I'm the one here doing everything," Draco said without looking at him.
"What are you—?"
"I'm the one dealing with the Blacks here right now, not you," Draco began, his teeth on edge and the tears still in his eyes. "Okay? I'm the one who's shuffling back and forth between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins, trying to be everybody's friend—trying to please every goddamn needy teenager. I'm the one having the nightmares and I'm the one who everyone expects something from, not you."
"Draco..."
"So you can just drop the act, okay? I'm over it. You and I both know you're not concerned and at the end of the day, the only reason you bother with me is because I've come from the future and if I really wanted to, I could bring everything down and let all hell break loose!"
"That is not what I..."
"Just drop it, okay?!"
Draco jumped to his feet and walked away from the fireplace, stopping in the middle of the room and wiping his face on his sleeve.
"No one blames you for anything, Draco," said Dumbledore calmly.
Draco spun on his heel to look at him.
"Are you serious right now, professor?" he said, his voice bitter and just utterly shocked. "You're really gonna sit there and tell me now that I am not to blame for anything?"
"I certainly can't speak for that other timeline, given that this version of me hasn't lived it yet," Dumbledore corrected. "I apologize if that may seem difficult and confusing for you, but it is the truth. I haven't lived it, despite what you and that other version of myself went through, which again, I feel the need to remind you that I don't need to—"
"—need to know about, yeah," said Draco, turning away from him again. "I got that. And I've gotta tell you, professor, it just really irks me when you constantly remind me that you're there for me, yet you can't be there for me where it matters most."
"Draco..."
"You can keep feeding me this bullshit about how much you care, professor, but we both know that I'm just a part of your big plan here...your plan to stop things from happening even though in the end they'll probably still happen anyway!"
His tears were back now and he glared at Dumbledore in the firelight with every fibre of hate that he could muster in that moment.
"JUST ADMIT IT," he finally cried, not caring whether his voice would wake someone now and draw unwanted attention. "ADMIT THAT YOU ONLY NEED ME FOR THIS BIG PLAN OF YOURS!"
"Draco..."
"Okay so then if it's not true, why would you give me these lessons every weekend, and why entrust me with details about the war that you wouldn't give to any other student, and why keep pressuring me to keep all my relationships with the Gryffindors and the Slytherins constant and healthy and why won't you ever, ever just tell me what the bloody hell is actually on your mind!"
"Phineas," said Dumbledore, his eyes on Draco.
"Not to worry, headmaster, no one will hear him," said Phineas Nigellus, sighing deeply and rolling his eyes as he sat back in his portrait and eyed Draco curiously. "They really do grow more dramatic with every generation, don't they?"
"Draco," said Dumbledore, turning his attention back to him. "Why haven't you spoken with me about this prior to tonight, if you truly felt this way?"
"You make it sound like you actually would've listened!" Draco cried in between tears and laughs. "Professor, you think that I'm actually the key in this whole situation when it is in fact ME who is making everything go wrong!"
"That—"
"You don't even fully see just how much shit I've brought into this timeline from my own twisted one! You don't realize how much I've manipulated people here, corrupted them, made them think the way I want them to! You don't realize it because you're too close to the problem to actually see what the problem is!"
"The problem?" said Dumbledore.
"YES," said Draco. "I'M THE PROBLEM, PROFESSOR! ME!"
There was silence. Draco was practically sobbing now and his body was shaking again.
"I'm the reason Sirius fought with his mother on Christmas Eve," he cried. "I'm the reason he was pushed so far over the edge that he actually threw himself out of a window and ran away covered in his own blood! He left everything—everything—behind because of ME!"
He fell to his knees now, tears soaking his red face and his knees crumbling beneath him.
"I...I'm the reason James is upset," he gasped. "I...I abandoned Regulus when he needed me most. I put Wilkes in the hospital even though...even though everyone knows he deserved it." He took another deep breath and closed his bleeding eyes before opening them again and looking down at Dumbledore. "It's...my...fault..."
He was sprawled on the floor now, just in front of the fireplace, his sobs echoing throughout the room like an orphaned child looking for his parents. His body was covered in sweat again and he was shaking uncontrollably, his heart pounding in his chest and ringing in his ears.
"Draco," said Dumbledore's voice from a million miles away. "Look at me."
It took every ounce of strength that Draco had left in order for him to lift his head and meet Dumbledore's eyes in the fireplace.
"It's not your fault," Dumbledore said in that same, calm voice.
"I..." breathed Draco, not knowing what to say to that. "It..."
"It's not your fault," Dumbledore repeated, his voice still calm. "Hey, look at me." Draco looked at him again. "It's—not—your—fault."
Draco broke down in sobs again, hating Dumbledore now more than ever for saying these things to him that he obviously did not want to hear...not now, not ever. He rested his face on the cold floor and looked on at the other corner of the dark room, finally locating his wand which had rolled all the way up against the opposite wall.
"Think back on that other timeline," Dumbledore's voice said. "Think very hard."
"About what?" Draco said after a long moment of silence, his own voice quiet and calm now.
"About what happened to the Sirius you knew in that timeline," said Dumbledore, "Or rather, the Sirius that you knew of. Think back on anything and everything that your parents might have told you over the years about your extended family. Can you recall anything, anything at all, that would lead you to believe that Sirius had run away from home in your original timeline?"
Draco didn't want to do it, but he still thought back. And after several moments, he lifted his head to look at Dumbledore, who now offered a small smile.
"If he ran away the first time, then it never had anything to do with you," he assured him. "It was always going to happen, whether you were involved or not." Another pause. "You need to stop and take a good look around you. All these people whose lives you have now become a part of...they have brains and they can think for themselves. You are not manipulating anyone into anything. They are not being forced to interact with you. If they continue to interact with you to this day, it is because your friendship means something to them. It is because you matter to them, Draco. You are far too young to see it now, but I promise you, I promise, you will see it with time."
Draco looked away from him again and wiped his face before meeting the old man's eyes.
"You have everything," Dumbledore continued. "Everyone. And you need to stop feeling guilty about that. You are allowed to enjoy living this second chance. You are allowed to have fun this time around, even if fun was not what you experienced the first time. Especially if fun was not what you experienced. You have been granted this second chance, and I'm an old man, Draco. Trust me when I say this—second chances don't come around often. In fact, they are scarce."
Draco swallowed hard.
"The sooner you accept this, the sooner you'll feel in control of your life once again," Dumbledore concluded.
Draco took a deep breath, finally realizing that his body was no longer shaking and tears were no longer running down his cheeks, and then he did the most difficult thing he'd had to do all night.
He looked at Dumbledore and at long last gave a weak nod, realizing this truth and accepting it wholly.
"Don't think about how terrible it was that Sirius ran away," Dumbledore suggested as Draco sat up now and cleaned his face again. "Think about how amazing he must feel, now that he's finally got out. It's what he's wanted for a long time and, like you said, he ran away to a family that actually cares. He is safe. He is well. Believe that."
Draco nodded again, feeling calmer now than he did an hour ago.
"You should get some sleep, Draco," Dumbledore added. Draco looked round at the time. It was now well over three in the morning. He glanced once at Phineas Nigellus's portrait, only to find that it was empty.
"I'd better go now too," Dumbledore said, bringing his attention back to him.
"Okay," Draco agreed quietly. He got to his feet and nodded once more before walking to the other side to retrieve his wand. Then, he turned back to look at Dumbledore in the firelight.
"Professor," he said, biting his lip. "I...that thing that you sent...what is it?"
Dumbledore smiled again. "It is called a deluminator. You shall learn its many qualities soon enough. Have a good night, Draco."
"Goodnight professor," Draco mumbled, standing in the middle of the room and watching Dumbledore fade from the firelight until only the flames were left, crackling into the silent, cold room.
The following morning, Draco found it surprisingly easy to pretend like last night had never happened. He washed his face thoroughly before letting anyone see him. And spirits around the house were far brighter now than they'd been over the weekend, mainly due to the upcoming wedding and the excitement revolved around it. It seemed that it was all Walburga could talk about at breakfast, lunch and dinner. She just went on and on about all the relatives that she wanted Draco to get acquainted with, and he just nodded along with everything she said and smiled at the right parts and frowned at the others. He found himself often wondering how she truly felt, given that he'd seen her in a private moment, disowning her son for the rest of time. But it didn't seem to be affecting her much now.
As for Orion, well, he was more occupied with reading the Prophet from cover to cover, no doubt making sure that their family wasn't in the headlines for anything, but he still nodded along with what his wife was saying.
And Regulus seemed excited too, which brought Draco back to last night and what Dumbledore had said, and made him wonder...had Sirius attended the wedding in the original timeline, or had he run away from home by then? He did remember his mother telling him once that Sirius had run away and that that was when he'd been disowned by the Black family and had lost his inheritances. Though, Draco doubted that last part was actually true. Magic, especially ancestral magic, was still magic. And even Walburga, a powerful woman in the wizarding world, couldn't change that if she wanted to.
By Tuesday afternoon, Draco himself had forgotten all about Remus's letter and how much it had initially upset him. In fact, he actually found himself in rather higher spirits than he'd expected, because deep down, he actually was very interested in meeting all these relatives that he'd heard so much about. And, on some level, even though he knew it was a slim to zero chance, he hoped to glimpse Sirius there anyway.
At around half past four, Walburga and Orion left for the actual ceremony, both dressed in elegant dress robes of the finest that Draco had ever seen. He and Regulus were still at Grimmauld Place, seeing as how they were only invited to the reception and not the actual ceremony. Nevertheless, they dressed and were in the Sitting Room by five.
"I'm excited," Regulus announced, petting Ferris on his shoulder again.
"You're not bringing him with you..." said Draco in a sort of question-like voice.
Regulus let out a brief laugh and shook his head. "It wouldn't do well with the wedding guests if one of the royal Blacks showed up with a pet bird on his shoulder."
Draco let out a laugh too. It definitely wouldn't.
"So how are we getting there anyway?" he asked.
"Mother said that she'd be sending an escort," Regulus answered, glancing at his watch. "Actually, she's supposed to be here any minute."
"Yeah, but I mean...where is it? Like, how are we getting there?" Draco repeated.
"Oh," said Regulus, frowning. "I'm not sure where it is but I'm assuming by portkey. Or apparition, depends on who is our escort."
At that moment, the front door banged shut and the clicking of heels filled the entrance hallway. Draco and Regulus were both on their feet in an instant and moved to stand side by side in the Sitting Room, waiting. Then, Draco's jaw dropped.
"Well, well, well..." said Bellatrix Black, standing in the doorway with a grin on her shining face.
She was wearing a long black dress with an open back and an open leg. Her heels were eight inch and the fabric tying up around her ankles in twisted knots that formed all the way up to her lower knees. She had sparkling jewelry around her neck and wrists, and her left hand was on her waist while her right held the doorway.
"Which of you boys is going to be my date tonight?" she finally said, winking at Draco before her eyes landed on Regulus.
"C-cousin Bellatrix," said Regulus, looking stunned. "You...you're here."
"Indeed I am," she said, turning back to Draco. "It's nice to see you again."
"You as well," Draco said, giving her a nod.
"So," she said, moving into the room to stand before the boys, her heels clicking as she walked and echoing on the hardwood floors, "How do we feel about apparition, boys?"
"We feel as though we'll manage just fine," Draco answered for the both of them.
Bellatrix's smile widened and she moved to lock her arm in his.
"I thought you would say that," she said, winking at him again. She smelled of incredible perfume which made Draco slightly dizzy and he had to remind himself that he was related to this woman.
"Reg?" she said, holding out her arm for him to take.
He hesitated before moving to her other side.
Draco peeked another glance at her body and then straightened up. Fuck it. If a woman could look like that, it didn't matter what sins she committed for the rest of her life...
"This may hurt just a little," she whispered before their feet instantly left the floors of the Sitting Room and landed hard on cold ground.
Draco let out a few deep breaths, having gotten out of practice with the whole apparition thing. It had been a while. Meanwhile on his other side, Regulus looked like he was going to be sick.
"Here, eat this," Bellatrix said, thrusting some sucking candy at him before starting her way up the path to the brightly lit mansion ahead.
"You okay?" Draco said, moving to where Regulus was standing.
Regulus nodded his head silently and popped the candy into his mouth.
"Come on," he finally said, pulling Draco with him after Bellatrix. Her heels clicking were the only sounds in the cool winter air, but Draco was no longer feeling well, now that they approached the mansion and could hear the music and the loud chatter inside.
Regulus was looking around them at the snow and the twinkling lights that had been set up all along the path. The sun was setting somewhere in the distance so it was still relatively blue out, but Draco's eyes were firmly kept on the mansion ahead, and with every step that he took, he lost his breath.
They finally reached the front steps and Bellatrix gave the boys each another wink before the doors flew open and two guards stepped out, both dressed in white. Draco felt his throat go dry. This had to be some kind of a sick joke. This had to be something that Dumbledore had orchestrated after Draco had told him his nightmare.
Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, the newlywed couple, stepped out into the evening and looked down at their three new wedding guests, their beaming smiles slowly fading from their faces as their eyes landed on Draco, stunned and petrified.
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