Chapter 3 - Maybe I Was Wrong


The next night she is back on the street, still limping, still hurt. But to Erik's release, Kathrine is not making her way to this horrible arena again. Instead she walks for about 10 minutes deeper into the town until she reaches a pub that she disappears into. Another rather rundown local but this attire is rather usual for a local like this. Erik walks around the building to look through one of the windows. It does not take him long to spot her, she is sitting by the counter with a glass of what looks like whiskey in front of her. After finishing that in one go, she orders another one and holds a small but obviously friendly conversation with the bartender. Erik can very well imagine that they know each other. Considering Kathrine's alcoholism, he can actually imagine that she knows every bartender within a 5 kilometer range.

Two drinks later, a man enters the pub and sits down beside her. They talk briefly, drink a shot together and stand then up. After embracing each other, Kathrine places a few wrinkled bills on the counter, fist bumps the bartender and leaves the building. Just as Erik is about to make his way back to the street, Kathrine suddenly turns into the same alley he is in. He disappears behind a container, hoping she won't see him if she walks past him. But she never does. The sound of her footsteps halts close to him and he hears rustling. Carefully Erik peeks around the corner to find her standing in the middle of the way, a transparent bag in her hand that is filled with white pills. She examines it briefly before taking out three of them but she only pops two of them into her mouth which she swallows. The last she breaks into two halves. One half she puts back into the bag, the other she places on her tongue and chews it. There's a shudder of disgust running through her whole body as she spreads it in her mouth with her tongue. Erik is no fool, he knows what she is doing there.

So that is the reason for her appearance in this local. The man she embraced gave her new drugs. And the Bartender knew about it. The pills have to be Morphine.

Kathrine leans her back and head against the wall behind her and closes her eyes for a second. As she opens them, they're a little narrowed. He saw the same one briefly yesterday but he blamed her injuries then. Now he knows better. Kathrine is not only taking them against the pain, she is aiming to get high. She shudders and starts to move, no longer a sign of pain in her steps. That confirms his previous deduction. Morphine.

Was Kathrine addicted to Morphine already as she came to the Opera with her class? Erik noticed that she has quite a lot pills with her but was that enough to satisfy a body that is addicted? Erik saw her swallowing pills every now and then but it was not constant and he never saw any signs for an addiction as she stayed with him. The pills she received from the scholar looked different, too. On the other hand, she had many opportunities to satisfy her addiction without Erik realizing what is going on. He left her alone to change, to sleep, to bath. And of course in between whenever he had to use to bathroom.

Suddenly Erik realizes how much he actually failed to notice even though it was happening right in front of his nose. Perhaps Kathrine's addiction and general condition have become even worse since he hurt her, but the addiction itself was most likely already formed in her own world. Erik has his own history with Morphine, he knows how it works and what it is supposed to do. One does not simply abuse so many substances without trying to numb something or perhaps even forget something. Kathrine told him that she sometimes experiences blackouts, perhaps she is trying to avoid these or completely drown them with that colorful mix of substances. Kathrine was always very open about most parts of her state but whenever she spoke about these blackouts, Erik saw fear and sadness displayed on her body.

Calmly Kathrine puts the earphone into her ears and begins to walk down the street, further into town. Considering how he's dressed, he stays in the shadows and out of sight as much as possible but even if people notice him, they just walk past him. There is no one that even looks at him, not even faintly. This city is so busy with itself that nobody cares for anything that is outside of their private little world.

Kathrine makes a short stop at a small shop and buys herself some fries. While eating her food, she walks through the mildly filled city, her head barely moving around. There seems to be no real destination on her mind and like everyone else, she is not focusing on what is not her business. She stops in front of a small side alley as she obviously notices something inside of it that Erik cannot see. After putting the last of her food into her mouth, she quickly goes into another store. It doesn't take long until she steps out again, an extremely thick and one or two thinner blankets in her arms, a can and a new jacket on her body. Erik narrows his eyes, the jacket is thick and too big for her, beside that it is not like the cloths Kathrine usually wears. She quickly disappears in a store with Asian letters above the doors, a few minutes pass bye and she comes out with a large brown paper-bag. After looking down at the things in her arms as if she's making a mental list, she rushes into the alley that caught her interest. Erik hurries to the corner and carefully peeks around it. Whatever it was that Erik may or may not have expected to find, is not what he is actually met with and it has him rushing behind a large container that is in the middle of the alley so that he will not miss anything,

Kathrine kneels in front of an elderly woman and her dog that hide at the end of the alley. The woman is dressed in old rags which must be offering much less warmth than Erik's cloths and he is freezing ever since it first started to snow. There are several pieces of paper cartons spread out beneath them, probably meant to provide some protection against the coldness on the ground. There is no snow reaching the alley because the roofs of the buildings are spreading across it but the dampness of the air should be enough to make these cartons look exactly the same the ones next to the container do.

'' Here, one side of the blanket is water resistant, you won't have to sit on something wet anymore. '' Kathrine helps the woman to her feet so they can put the extremely thick blanket on the ground that offers enough space for the woman and her dog to comfortably rest on. She hands the woman the other two blankets, puts the paper bag on the ground on the blanket and shrugs out of the large jacket to hand it to the woman as well.

'' There's soup in the can already, I hope it stays warm for a while. The food is still hot so eat is right away. It's enough for you and the dog. '' The woman looks at Kathrine as if she is a hallucination, too stunned to say anything what gives Kathrine the chance to slip out of her bag and open it. She puts a bowl on the ground and fills it with water from a large plastic bottle. The dog abruptly begins to drink happily and Kathrine puts the bottle beside it before pulling out another one. The last thing Kathrine pulls out is a plastic bag with a dog on the front.

'' I could never accept so many things Miss...'' The woman finally chirps up, completely overwhelmed by the situation. Kathrine gets back to her feet while slipping on her bag,

'' Poppycock. I know most shelters doesn't allow animals in and the one that does is full all the time. This way you will be able to hold out for a while. ''

'' But all this… it must have been expensive...''

'' Not really. I got enough money, don't worry. I have enough food, my rent is payed and I don't have to support anyone, so don't worry about it. Keep the dog safe and we're cool. '' Kathrine smiles at the woman another time before making her way back to the street. Erik pushes himself as much into the corner as he can, hoping she won't see him. Then he sees her, her back is a little hunched, which Erik was already expecting. Madam Giry told him that Kathrine's biggest hurdle was to walk with her back straight. Antoinette was quite impressed that Kathrine remembered to not hunch forwards while she was on the stage. Perhaps she was hunching and they simply missed it. The hunch is barely visible if one does not specifically look for it. Erik noticed her back being round most of the time very early. She would sit with her legs crossed and her back round to allow her to place her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands- of course only if her phone was not placed in her hands.

Erik soon realized that the addiction to mobile phones Kathrine's world allegedly suffers from was not something she made up to make fun of him. Each morning the first thing Kathrine would do is check her phone, while breakfast she would tap around on it absently, over the day the same habits and at night she checked her phone again before making sure the device is right beside her. Closer observations of Kathrine's friends soon proofed to have the exact same results: They always had the device close by, even though Kathrine mentioned that many features were not available. It is almost fascinating how many people Erik already saw who were blindly walking around with their eyes glued to their phones. How they all are not constantly crashing into each other is beyond him.

Kathrine's eyes are a little red, as if she is not sleeping well for a while now, or perhaps not sleeping at all most of the time. On the other hand it could be the substances in her body causing her eyes to be irritated as well. Erik has to pay closer attention, perhaps he will be able to find a way to properly apologize and make it up to her if he knows what exactly it is that is eating her up lately. As much as Erik tries to push it away, there is always that tiny voice telling him that all of this is his fault. Had he not left her in such a horrible manner, if he only had tried to talk to her, she might still be with him. She would not hate him, he would never have attacked her and threatened her family. They might still be happy.

Erik holds his breathe as she walks past him, afraid he might hear him breathing and notice him. If she realizes that he is following her she would never forgive him. She made it more than clear how much this kind of behavior repulses her. But right now Erik just has to act against her approval. So he will follow her until he either finds a way to make everything right, or until the freezing temperatures kill him. One way or the other, he'd be grateful is one of these two options, preferably the first, happens soon because Erik can feel the cold affecting his body more and more. He will have to find something warm, a coat perhaps or a jacket and a blanket. He was looking for a place he could steal what he needs from but Kathrine has not yet come across such a place. And Erik is just not willing to leave her out of his sight. He was to watch over her, protect her, make sure she is not overdosing.

Despite the friendly expression in front of that lady, Kathrine looks quite annoyed as she walks past him. Annoyed and arrogant, a quite unusual combination.

Erik's lips curl in disgust as Kathrine takes another cigarette between her lips and lightens it. Perhaps she would be able to hide an addiction to pills from him, but hiding that she smoked is impossible, even for someone as clever as her. And Erik is completely sure that Kathrine did not smoke that much as she was with him. He'd like to pretend that nothing of this is his responsibility, but the truth is that Kathrine is a young woman with severe mental health issues, who even told him how unstable she is. The truth is, that he hurt her several times and always again allowed his insecurities to cloud his judgment which only led to him hurting her again. But threatening her family had nothing to do with his insecurities, he said those things because he wanted her to come back to him. If the only possible way to archive that was to threaten her family, he was willing to try it. She refused to sing, she pushed him away, she was being irresponsible. He only wanted to talk to her! He wanted to explain but she is not even granting him that!

Erik balls his hands to tight fists until his knuckles begin to ache. His teeth are grit as regret and self-hatred fills him. How can he try to blame Kathrine for all this? She was not the one that left him without any words of farewell. She was not the one that threatened his family just because she acted logical considering the situation that was given. Kathrine has not, is not and never will be in fault of what is happening right now. He is the only one to blame and now he has to pay the price for that. A horrible nagging voice tells him that she will never forgive him, that he will die in the cold without having the chance to hold her in his arms one last time, to kiss her farewell, to make love to her and not run away before she wakes. That voice has been speaking to him ever since he noticed the first signs of getting sick. It was not as loud then as it is now and Erik wishes he would not believe it. He wishes he would be convinced that he will have another chance, a start from new even. He'd do anything to make this right.

Just as Kathrine reaches the busy street, the woman calls after her,

'' Miss! You forgot money in the pocket! ''

'' Nope, I didn't. '' Kathrine answers, loud enough for the woman to hear before quickly walking around the corner. Erik feels his lips turning into a gentle smile. Kathrine might have many mistakes but her heart is good.


Kathrine is not making any more stops in between. After leaving the small alley she goes straight for her apartment. Every time she leaves his sight, Erik fears she might take more of the substances she has collected. He fears that she accidentally takes too many and collapses without him being aware of all that. So as he watches her stepping back into his sight in different clothing and disappears in the direction where he remembers her bed, Erik breathes out when he sees the lights in the apartment shutting off. She is asleep at last.

He looks around but settles down on the fire ladder again and wraps his coat a little tighter around his body as he leans back. Every bone in his body is aching, his head is dizzy, his body both extremely hot and cold at the same time. It was only a matter of time until he catches something but that doesn't matter. Because there is no place where he can go, not while Kathrine is right here. If Kathrine will not forgive him, he has no reason to live anyway. Without her he would fall back into that horrible loneliness and die a slow, painful death day after day. Kathrine brought light into his life. As long as she was with him, the shadows would not dare come close to him. Kathrine has no idea how often she already saved him. How can he go back without her by his side?

In those 3 months Erik has not played the organ once, neither has he written anything down. He did not check on his Opera or make sure rehearsals are going well. There was pain all through his life but it has never once been this bad. For the first time he had the chance to be truly happy and he ruined it. Knowing that there was no place for him in the world felt terrible. Knowing there was someone that accepted and loved him but left him felt worse. Knowing that all of this is his own fault, is too much too bear. Every book was causing immense frustration to broil up inside him because he would not stop imagining Kathrine walking into the room, taking the book away from him and demanding his attention because she feels bored.

He tried to drown his sorrows in alcohol but soon chose to not touch that liquid for now. Each time he would be a little tipsy, Erik was either fantasizing more about Kathrine, or he would think up ways to kill himself. He could drink himself to death, he could hang himself or cut open his veins, he could shoot himself. There were several possibilities to once and for all put an end to his miserable would be the best for everyone. Kathrine would not have to turn to drugs just to deal with the pain he caused, she would be taking out attractive young men and women who give her what she needs without having to deal with the baggage of her partner. She could focus on her therapy and on having fun. Madam Giry would have an easier life because he would make sure she receives all the money he possesses. Meg would have the chance to visit a good school, Madam could retire early and finally enjoy some time in peace. She spent almost all of her life with helping him out, teaching him, hiding him, risking her life and her freedom for him. The Managers will be able to take whatever play they approve of, cast Carlotta for every Soprano role… and lead the Opera into its doom.

Erik leans his head against the icy metal of the ladder, he could just sit here and wait for death to come and take him. But everything inside of him yearns for her forgiveness. Yearns for her to embrace him once again, swear her love to him and kiss him without ever fearing what others might think of her. Kathrine never was ashamed of him, she would proudly stand up for him, aid him in situations like the one at the Masquerade Ball with her wit. For just a moment longer than intended Erik wonders if Kathrine would spend one last day with him if he'd tell her he will end his life the next day. One last day with his beloved, everything as it is supposed to be. She is a talented actress, she would be perfectly capable to pretend for one last day that everything would be alright. That she loves him even with that hideous defect. He wants to hear her sing one last time, dance with her to music of both of their worlds. He wishes he could turn back time and stop himself from ever leaving her.

Erik breathes out, his breathe forming a thick cloud and upon seeing this, Erik realizes how badly his body is shaking from the cold. If Kathrine would agree to give him this last day he could hold her close with a blanket spread across them. They would talk or sing, he would sing the Music of the Night to her. Erik smiles, Kathrine loves that song. He sang it to her many times as they were together. Or was that made up as well? He is not sure what memories to trust and which not any longer.

If he grows sicker and sicker until he is about to die, he will visit Kathrine a last time and ask her for one last kiss before he parts from this world. Another part of Erik feels the constant urge to try once again. To wait in front of her door until she opens and at least allows him to explain everything. Kathrine has proven that her heart is full with kindness and forgiveness. Perhaps she could forgive him again, perhaps there is a future for the both of them. One like they imagined it to be.

Erik allows his eyes to close as a sudden wave of extreme exhaustion washes over him. If Kathrine will not forgive him, he has no reason to live on anyway. Perhaps catching an infection would be for the best. Kathrine is kind, she would grant him his dying wish.


Erik follows her a little more watchful than usual as she leaves her home in a very provocative outfit that has Erik flushing just from looking at her. With Kathrine looking this attractive he has to be even more alerted to everything around them. There might be someone following her, or someone could have the intention to hurt her, rape her. Kathrine is capable to defend herself but if she is surprised even a person without any fighting experience could get a hold of her. Just like the Inspecteur did.

Erik can't say how many times he asks himself just what is her intended goal dressed like this in the middle of the day. Is she going to meet a client? Is this an Escort job? Will Erik witness how Kathrine pleasures someone in a dark alley or in some greasy motel room before getting payed for her service? Right now there are many emotions rushing through Erik. He cannot guarantee that he will be capable to remain calm should he see Kathrine with another man. Or with a woman, for that matter. Kathrine would never forgive him if he beats her 'client' to a pulp or kills him. But whoever is seeing her as a mere object they can use however they please just because they are paying her doesn't deserve any better.

Kathrine obviously is aiming for a noble restaurant that is completely different from what Erik was expecting. He was expecting some cheap, dirty little local, not something this expensive. Erik follows Kathrine whose steps suddenly become a beat faster. Erik narrows his eyes. The way she bounces with every step, the sudden faster pace, the extremely attractive attire. Is Kathrine excited for this person? Is it someone she already knows?

Before Erik has the chance to worry about anything more, he watches with wide eyes how Kathrine suddenly is being pulled into an alley. As fast as his legs allow him to, Erik runs around the building to enter the alley from the back. There are many trash bins he can hide behind while still being close enough to hear everything perfectly fine that is going on. Erik will kill that man if he hurts her, he will rip that insect apart. Kathrine might hate him but at least she will be safe and sound.

But Kathrine does not seem bothered or uncomfortable in any way. Not even the fact that the man is holding her close to him and leans down to have their faces too close for Erik's liking. The man has one hand on her upper arm and the other covers her mouth. They look at each other but for a while no one says a word. The man is tall, his hair almost completely cut off but Erik still sees that the man's hair has a dirty blonde color. He is dressed as noble as Kathrine, their dressing choices are quite compatible with each other, as if they previously talked about their cloths. The man's ocean-blue eyes suddenly narrow and a satisfied, arrogant smirk comes to his lips. Then suddenly Kathrine wraps her arms around the man's neck while the man pushes her back into the wall. Erik feels sick as he watches them share a long passionate kiss. He wants to rip the man's arms right off his body and beat him to death with them. Erik felt jealous before but nothing compares to this burning rage flooding his whole body.

Erik grits his teeth as the man moves from Kathrine's lips to her throat, caressing and kissing her skin. Kathrine appears to love every second of it, she drops her head back into her neck and gasps softly.

'' Did you miss me Baby? '' Erik sticks his tongue out. If he could, he'd love to throw up all over that man right now. Kathrine leans back into the wall relaxed but with a confident smirk on her lips,

'' A really pleasant surprise… but weren't you supposed to come back last month already? '' She raises an eyebrow as he suddenly offers her a small casket completely wrapped up in blue velvet. Kathrine's arrogance abruptly changes into pure amazement as the man opens the casket and reveals what is inside. Erik cannot see much but it must be some kind of necklace. As Kathrine turns her back to the man and looks at him over her shoulder, the intruder reveals the present to Erik and he was right, it is a necklace. If this is what it looks like then this necklace is full with small diamonds and a shining ruby in the middle. Erik never saw a necklace like this, he has to admit that is is astonishing. And it suits Kathrine perfectly. For just a second Erik allows himself to just look at her beauty that is now framed beautifully by the shining diamonds. If only that pest wasn't next to her.

'' I let that pass as your apology for being a month late. '' She presses another chase kiss to his lips and he responds with pressing a kiss to the back of her hand and Erik cannot even measure his desire to vomit his entire body onto that dirty little bastard's expensive suit. The man offers another charming smile but there's something in his eyes that causes Erik to watch this whole thing very carefully.

'' It belonged to a… partner. -His wife, actually. They both had a tragic accident two weeks ago, a real shame. I saw the necklace right before they died and abruptly had to think about you. I missed you Baby Girl...'' The man shrugs with that same shimmer of danger flashing in his eyes but Kathrine obviously is not at all worried by the man who just vaguely confessed killing two people before robbing their corpses. The opposite even, Kathrine's voice drops to a purr that sends shivers down Erik's back. Not long ago and these noises were his. Only meant for his ears. His angel smirks up at the man, she seems extremely pleased and Erik feels the sudden urge to bite into the trash container.

'' You're a bad man, Daddy...'' Erik looses every facial expression as his mouth drops open in a mix of confuse and disgust. Did Kathrine just call that man 'Daddy'? The man hums and his hand moves to the right back-pocket. He grins down at her, Erik growls, his hands grasping the metal even tighter,

Ne lui souris pas…Toi dégoûtant bâtard. (Don't grin at her… You disgusting bastard)

'' Am I? ...Ah. Of course, you're missing your payment. '' Erik's eyes widen as the man hands her a rather big envelope. Kathrine tucks it into the pocket of her coat absently and allows the man to slowly push her into the wall once more to ravish her lips and Erik needs to bash his head into the damn brick wall quickly or else he will completely snap. Snap that disgusting bastard's neck. Kathrine said she will not be returning to that dreadful job, that she would never again pleasure someone else for money. She swore to him she won't do it again. She swore. How can she do this now? How can she allow this man to kiss her so passionately? Is there not even a tiny bit inside her that feels as if she is betraying him? Erik shakes his head again. He left her, he should have seen it coming that his little whore soon finds another man to entertain her. The moment Erik thought about her as a whore he regrets it. This is entirely his fault. None of them would be here now if Erik just had shown some damn courage and stopped her before she could leave.

'' I already have a table for two in a very nice restaurant waiting for us. And later you can show Daddy how much you missed him in your favorite room with the large windows offering the nice view. '' As Erik hears them finally using their mouths for talking, Erik peeks around the container again.

'' I love that plan…'' Kathrine smirks approvingly and Erik abruptly spots the hint of seduction in her eyes, the way she flutters her lashes invitingly. She is clearly moving her body purposefully exactly the way she has to, to drive any man crazy with desire. Erik bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood but he could not care any less for that. He wants to rip this man apart. He wants to go and burn down an entire city. He wants to beat that slimy little bastard until he is only a mushy heap of blood, organs and broken bones. To not run after them and kill that man before they leave the alley is the hardest test he ever faced.

If there is any God somewhere out there… please run that Italian bastard over with the biggest car you have...


He can see Kathrine and that man that night. The hotel they disappeared in after they had dinner offers large windows that clearly were made to offer someone a clear view on its inhabitants. And every second Erik watches the two of them enjoying the other's company feels like he would fall deeper and deeper into his self-loathing. Watching that man touching and claiming his Kathrine makes him furious and it makes him sick but he can't take his eyes off of them. No matter how brutal this might be, it is what he deserves. This is his punishment for hurting this perfect woman. She was ready to stay with him even though she clearly is capable to find much more attractive men, she was ready to give up her life here despite the impressive number of friends that he has seen yet. Of course he hasn't even seen her family yet. Kathrine mentioned how she usually visits her mother quite often but she did not do so yet.

At some point Erik has to turn away because he fears that watching this ongoing thing just one more second will have him completely lose it and then he will march up into that room and tear the man apart with his bare hands. He is so full of watching Kathrine flirt and sleep with other people. A roar of anger rips from his lungs and quickly Erik punches the brick wall until the pain numbs some of his anger and his knuckles are swollen and bleeding. Erik drops down to his knees and holds his aching hands into the snow. With the pain slowly numbed from the cold, the rage returns and Erik feels caught inside a blood rush. He cannot remember ever feeling such controlling anger, not like this. This is completely taking control of him and despite his knuckles already being swollen he starts punching the wall again as hard as he can. Some of the wall breaks along with his knuckle but Erik is not done yet. He needs to do something to get rid of this anger. He needs to think about something else than Kathrine and that man. Suddenly he remembers something Kathrine told him and it's almost enough to get him back on level 200:

Kathrine always said that there was never just a single person that she met twice, whose name she wanted to remember. But this man was familiar to her. She knows his name, he heard her calling him by it once instead of saying 'Daddy' -which still slightly disturbs Erik if he is quite honest about this but not even that can withstand the anger for long. He glares back up to the window and sees Kathrine pressed face-first against the glass, her hands palms down on the window and one leg lifted to allow that man better access to something that should be private property of Erik! Erik! Not Omar. Omar. Omar.

Omar. Omarrr… I am so close to vomiting all over the floor. Omar surely is enjoying my Kathrine and her experienced body. Omar certainly has a nice time. Omar... Sounds like the German word for Grandmother.

Erik grits his teeth, paces the alley in the attempt to make sense of this and to somehow get rid of this unbearable rage inside him.

She knows him. Why? What is so fascinating about him? What causes her interest in this man? There has to be something that makes him special. Kathrine is not interested in simple, as she told me so easily just 3 months before she started whoring around once again! Of course she sells her body again! Of course her swear was a lie! How could I ever trust someone that had enough strangers in her to earn the title London's Whore!

Erik hits the brick wall again and his next knuckle breaks. It is almost funny. He spent so much time ensuring she is perfectly comfortable everywhere. He refused to use her body because he was convinced she might get seriously injured if he allows himself to just do what he has fantasied about. Now he realizes how Kathrine obviously wants to be treated. Like the whore she is. Erik could have just taken what he wanted the first time he felt that desire in him with her face attached to it. She would have enjoyed it because that's what every good whore does, right? They enjoy whatever they are getting payed for. And Kathrine is the kind of woman that is not only working as a whore, she is one in private as well. Erik could have ordered her to stay naked and she would have obeyed because that is exactly the way Kathrine wants to be used. She even told him and her friends that she wouldn't mind Erik 'fucking her senseless' but Erik was too concerned for her well-being. He regrets that now. Who knows, she might not want to see him privately but if he pays her she surely will do whatever he wants.


The man escorts Kathrine to her apartment and they share another long passionate kiss. They spent many hours in that hotel what gave Erik more than enough time to calm down. As soon as he came back to his senses, as she rage stopped burning him from the inside, he sank to the ground. Completely numb with shame and disgust at himself he sat by that wall until Kathrine and Omar came back out, arm in arm and both obviously very satisfied. They laugh most of the way to Kathrine's apartment but Erik is too tired to listen to them. All he wants to do right now is dig a deep hole to bury himself in alive. Erik climbs onto the ladder unnoticed once more but he barely glances at the two people who are still giggling and chuckling and laughing loudly every few seconds. IT sends another flash of jealousy right through him. He and Kathrine were laughing a lot together as well but they never shared so many loud laughter. With a small glare at the couple he leans back against the grid, barely flinching from the coldness.

'' He can't be that funny… She certainly is not that funny. '' He grumbles before realizing he is acting like a bratty teenager and with another sigh he is burying his face in his hands,

That certainly is the lowest low I have reached so far. I can be proud on myself. I leave one of the most attractive. interesting women this world has seen without a note and complain about her moving on while I sit in some alley and stalk her.

'' She really is that funny… She saw him more than once, she must love him then. Their relationship seems a lot healthier than ours did… maybe this is for the best...'' He mutters as he glances at Kathrine fondly. He loves her and if she loves that man, maybe Erik should move on as well. He could go back to the Opera and try himself on being a human director instead of a ghostly one. He will always have her in his mind and he will paint her until there is no paper in the whole of France.

Another laughter, this one soft and sweet and Erik feels a painful smile tugging on his lips. Who is he trying to fool here? He could never leave her. He could never forget her. His body is already beginning to show symptoms of an infect, perhaps he doesn't have to see her with someone else for long.

Erik glances at the couple again, only to find Omar kissing Kathrine's hand another time and Erik closes his eyes, focused only on their voices. If he tries really hard he might be able to understand. This kiss was Omar's greeting, surely it is not meant to be a farewell?

'' Well I have to be in Brazil tomorrow evening, I will call you as soon as I know when I'm going to return. ''

'' Any vague idea? ''

'' It might take a few months until I am done with the job. Perhaps I will have a weekend off in between but I am not making any promises or you will hold it against me like you did tonight. '' He raises an eyebrow at her and Kathrine pushes him playfully,

'' Hey you are a month late, don't push this on me. ''

'' I also apologized. Now, be a good Baby girl and don't have too much fun without me. ''

'' Same. ''

'' You know there is no one more compatible to me than you. But you love hearing that, don't you? ''

'' Yeah a little. See ya Daddy. '' They kiss briefly and go then their separate ways. Erik repeats what he heard in his head again. Did he understand everything correctly? Is that Italian idiot actually leaving for several months? The relaxed state they both where in lets on that this is happening more often. Which means that man is only coming by for a very short visit in between long traveling? They were talking about compatibility but they were wishing each other fun -if not too much with someone else- while they are separated.

Erik leans back against the grid again, his eyes closing to allow himself to solely focus on what he just heard. His head is a little dizzy and the stabbing in his left temple he completely ignored as soon as Kathrine left the house this evening is back but there is a special motivation keeping his focus sharp right now. If he understands all of that correctly, and of course he is only speculating, but the way he understood this small conversation lets on that they are not sharing much of an emotional bond. They are enjoying each other sexually, which is surely everything but pleasant to Erik but it is certainly much better than the thought that Kathrine might love someone else than him. Until today he was telling himself that he is the first person she ever loved, that this might be enough for her to at least listen to his explanation and his apology. At least he realized that as he started to believe Kathrine might have lied to him but now that he is more or less convinced that they are not in love with each other, he might be have a chance to win her back.

Erik winces, the stabbing pain is now in both his temples and it is more persistent than it has been this morning. He massages his temples carefully. With a quick glance to Kathrine's apartment he sees that the lights are already shut off and Erik takes that as his silent okay to sleep a few hours as well. Perhaps he will feel a little better if he has a good night of sleep…


Within the following 2 days Erik's condition becomes worse and worse. His body will suddenly start to shake violently, his vision goes blurry, every bone in his body is burning up or feels as if it was broken. He feels cold and hot at the same time. He knows he has to find a warm place, has to eat and rest, take something to help beat the fever. But he is not willing to find somewhere he can get help, not while Kathrine is being this self-destructive. He will wait for the fever to cling down, fully knowing that if it won't go away by itself, it will beat him. But a part of him still has not given up the hope that Kathrine might grant him one last day if it is his dying wish. But his natural survival-instinct is strong and it is demanding him to do something. Without that instinct he would probably long be dead by now. It saved him so many times in the past, made him get to his feet when he was sure he could not even move a finger any longer. He always cherished that part of him that refused to give up even though it seemed to be a logical solution. Erik is not interested in dying… This is the first time he might actually welcome the idea to give up.

He found water and stole a few fruits while Kathrine was doing her own shopping. The fruits were incredibly easy to take. They were unguarded outside of the local, presented in wooden boxes. The street was busy, no one noticed him taking as many fruits as he could. And if somebody did, they did not bother to call the police. He even found an abandoned coat that is a lot warmer than it looks. But even that extra warmth will not be of any use. It is too late to solve this problem with warmer cloths.


3 more days passed and by now he does not even feel hungry or thirsty any longer. The last time he ate was two days ago, two apples and a banana. By far not enough to sate him but it was enough to ensure he will still be able to get to his feet and follow Kathrine through the city. She was fighting again but this time her opponents did not land a single hit. They never got to touch her. She made a show to satisfy the people cheering for her but it was very clear that Kathrine could have taken each of them out with a single blow. One kick, one tiny little bit of her wonderful mind and the fights would have been over. But the longer it takes, the more bets are placed and the more interesting she made it, the more tip she had by the end of the night.

Nobody noticed Erik on that ladder yet. Not the strangers passing by below him, not the people that live in the house that the ladder is attached to, not even his lovely Kathrine. The small spot he hides in warmed up slightly from the heat of his body. He knows his body is hot, but he feels so cold. He feels horrible, horrible and lonely. Lonely all over again. He was so certain that he would never have to feel this way again as Kathrine said she would stay with him and agreed to their engagement. He was convinced that his life would be perfect from that moment on.

His mind is fuzzy, focusing on anything happening around him turned into an almost impossible task. But he can clearly remember how happy he felt whenever she gifted him a smile. How honored he felt as she openly kissed him in the middle of the stage, right in front of all these people even though he was facing the crowd with his mask. Her first kiss was an answer to his proposal, the second kiss had no other reason but his desire to feel her lips on his once again. Never before in his entire life has he felt this extraordinary happiness. To that time as he stood beside Kathrine on the stage, he knew he has finally realized what his destiny was. It was to be with her, wherever Kathrine wants to be. He would have bought them a nice house outside the city if that would have been her wish but he cannot deny that he felt release about her wish to stay below the Opera. It is his prison now but with Kathrine it was a home full of warmth, love and laughter. Furthermore is it much easier for Erik to keep an eye on his Opera from there. Who knows, perhaps he would have had the chance to sing with Kathrine on the stage again at some point. Perhaps he could lead the Opera without having to stay hidden. He could discuss the orchestra with Monsieur Reyer in the middle of the stage, correct the ballet or the actors mistakes right away. After all the time he was forced to communicate through notes, the idea of simple interacting is exciting.

His destiny was to care for Kathrine and make her happy every day for the rest of her life. But he destroyed it all. Not only his heart is broken, she is hurt as well and he was too stubborn and too insecure to realize that. It is almost funny that the fever helps him realize that issue. Everything that happened, all the suffering and the tears, all the bruises and the anger, all of that is entirely his fault. He deserves to feel this way. He deserves it all.


Yesterday Kathrine had guests. They woke him from his troubled slumber in the middle of the day. He cannot remember if he was awake before or when he fell asleep in the first place but in the end it doesn't really matter.

They came in a large, white metal-coffin. A car, just a lot bigger with more space. Two men jumped out of the car and carried another man into Kathrine's home quickly but carefully. The man was hurt, his upper leg was bleeding badly, wounds that almost look as if they were caused by a gun. Or at least something similar to that. He was too far away to say anything more detailed. Through the window he could faintly see Kathrine grabbing several items in complete peace. There not a single muscle in her body tensed in worry or in the same anxious adrenaline the two men were in. Kathrine remains calm, she actually does not even seem especially interested in the situation or the pain the wounded man must be in. Of course there is the possibility that Kathrine only pretended to be calm to not cause even more trouble, to comfort the man that was hurt and his friends. But to be quite blunt, Erik thinks that the reason she was so extremely calm is either because she was high or because she is already used to situations like this one. Perhaps even both. As Erik was wounded and a bullet pierced a gash into his shoulder Kathrine was confident as well. Despite the messy condition the ripped skin was in, Kathrine's stitches were neat and precise. She must have already done this a few times then. Kathrine is storing drugs and tons of alcohol in her apartment, she is working as an escort, takes home whoever she wants -and now it turns out she is connected to people that happen to be shot at once in a while. What other secrets is Kathrine hiding? Surely there are more, Erik would even go as far to pledge that there is another chest full with secrets just waiting to be discovered. Erik only hopes that Kathrine will not have to face any unpleasant consequences somewhere in the future.

One of the men that carried the injured into Kathrine's apartment walks up behind her. He looks awfully distressed as he seems to be explaining something to her that Erik naturally cannot understand from the distance. Kathrine soothed him, quite effectively so. After a little playful tugging on the man's clothing here and there and a few words combined with a thumps up, the man looks a lot more relaxed. Perhaps they are friends. One thing Erik noticed while he was following her is that Kathrine does have a lot of friends, or at least she has a lot of people that appear to be her friends. She kissed some or hugged them. With others she spent at least 2 minutes doing some kind of handshake-clapping ritual which is with and without fever quite irritating.

The 3 men left her apartment a few hours later and for a short moment Erik could not help himself but feel furious. Not because they tried to touch his Kathrine or because they were disrespectful to her, it was not because they did any harm to her either. He was jealous, because they could spend as much time with her as they wanted. They left in the same car they arrived in, the white larger one. Soon after they were gone Erik threw up in the corner because his sudden wave of anger was too much for his body to bear. He needs a while to regain control of his body and enough consciousness to crawl back to his corner and curl up in it. He tries to stay awake by once more analyzing his surroundings a little. There are many things that fascinate him about this world, even though he would be unable to name most of the things people use as their standard utensils. He understands how a laptop and a phone work because Kathrine taught him but that is about all he could operate. Cars are definitely one of the things Erik is extremely fascinated about even though he barely understands what a car is. Of course it is the modern form of a carriage.

Did Madam Giry not tell me that her husband was killed by a car?

Erik looks at the different variations once again. He can easily imagine that these metal monsters could kill a person if they hit them with a bit more speed. Nevertheless they fascinate him and he wishes he could learn more about them. About cars and everything else in this world.

However fascinating everything in this world might be, he catches himself missing the simple ways of his world. The soft clatter of hooves on the pavement, the attention people pay to each other, the way people will suddenly interact with each other even though they never met before. There is a lot of gossiping, of course, but at least they talk to each other. They don't stare at the display of their phones and walk through the street like zombies.

This world is beautiful and full with magic that no one seems to have any interest in. They are so captured by their technology and their cars and whatever else there is, that they completely forget to stop and admire the world around them. It disgusts him how little people care for their surroundings.

Erik wishes to find out more but even more he wants to go home with Kathrine. He will hold on to her and never let her go again. He would give her roses every single day and make sure she has everything her heart desires. He would sacrifice everything to be gifted with one last chance.

But if things continue the way they are, he fears that she might never return with him. Let alone talk to him. Let alone look at him. Will she even think about him? If he's dead and his body is being disposed of, will she ever give him another thought? Or will she just finally enjoy her life the way she deserves to?


The cough that forces itself from his lungs sends a violent stabbing pain through his whole body. Again he is horribly reminded that his body is defeated. Every smallest movement of his limbs hurts.

But he cannot bring himself to leave Kathrine all to herself. He likes to imagine that his mere presence, even if it is so far away, is enough to make her feel better. To keep her away from another stranger's bed. To keep her away from this horrible place where she is so brutally harmed. God, he wishes he could hold her. Gently press her body close to his and tell her how much he loves and adores her. How sorry he is. He wants to kiss her, feel her soft lips on his again. Taste that indescribable flavor of her mouth. The first time she kissed him in the chapel will always be burned into his mind like a miracle too unbelievable to be real- only that it was real. How she asked him in worry if she hurt him as she tried to find out what he looked like just by touching him, before expressing her gratitude in the most wonderful way he can imagine. He can still remember how her scent surrounded his senses as she was so close to him, how warm her skin felt on his.

The day he managed to make her so very happy with the cake he baked for her, to celebrate her success. The faint taste of chocolate that was left on his lips after she kissed him so briefly, he had to make sure he did not make it up entirely.

The first real kiss they shared under these horrible circumstances as he forced her to decide between him and the scholar. As she slowly walked up to him in the water, her voice soothing his raging soul with promises of love and trust. The sweet moment her lips touched his. God, he can still remember every second of it. He can remember how his mind was unable to act rationally so that only rage controlled him. And she beat him into place, woke him from his mania in an unpleasant but necessary way. The anger in her voice as she yelled at him, the tears in them as she sunk to her knees before him, begged him to stop.

His favorite kiss, though, will always be the one they shared on the stage right after he proposed to her. Her form of a 'yes'. The shadow of fear in her eyes as he put the ring on her finger that was drowned in undeniable love so suddenly. The way she quickly leaned up to him, so eager to finally allow their lips to meet in a real kiss. The cheering crowd behind him was drowned under the sound of his loudly beating heart. She kissed him right in front of so many people, showed everyone that she returns his feeling. Even though he stood before her as the Phantom, even tough everyone could see his mask and knew who she was kissing. She did not care. He can remember the faint tremor of happiness in her body. He did not know where he should put his hands, much like before as she kissed him in their home. Until his arms wrapped around her waist on their own so that he could twirl her in his overwhelming joy. He knew where to put his hands as she kissed him only minutes later. He knew where to put his hand every time they kissed from then on.

He silently scolds himself as his mind is wandering to places it should not go. After what he did he has no right to ever imagine her like that again. But his resistance is weak, his longing to think back to that night too strong. That night where they became one. His heart begins to beat in his chest as he thinks about how good her skin felt against his. How perfect it felt under his fingertips. And the taste. God, the taste of her skin, her mouth, her folds. The boundless trust they had in each other as she let him explore her body, taste and feel it. The curiosity and the desire for her body will probably never truly be sated. Her cheeks were flushed, her voice raspy with lust, her body so hot. It was like their night never passed, like they spend hours in the sheets even though it was not that long. He longs to feel her like this again. He remembers the smell of her hair as she slept with her head on his chest that night. Her naked body cuddling up against his. How comfortable he was until his fears suddenly consumed him and forced the pleasure entirely from his mind. He longs for another chance to give this scenery a perfect ending.

Erik's eyes follow Kathrine as she exercises. It is the exact same procedure as it has been in their home, first the gymnastic and then the fighting. She is flinching every now and then if a movement strains her still bruised body. She can take as much morphine as she wants but there will always be a little pain, especially if she chooses to do the exact opposite of resting.

'' Kathrine…'' His eyes close as he passes out against the cold metal of the ladder.


Over the past week she did her best trying to forget what might have happened to Erik after she sent him away. She numbed her mind and body with alcohol, tried to forget the pain in her heart that his visit brought back up with morphine and swallowed Valium to ensure she will sleep without waking up in the middle of the night and cry her heart out. She was so good at forgetting. Yes, her hobbies became more dangerous, she is visiting those fights more than before and every muscle in her body is sore and her ribs are killing her, but it worked. The morphine she took against the pain in combination with the alcohol fogged her mind in a way that she almost could forget everything that happened.

But of course Nathan had to pass her up, to hold it against her. To scream at her, scold her for trying to find something that can overpower the pain in her heart. He blames her love sickness for her self-destruction. She's realistic enough to admit that he is right but she would never admit it out loud.

She didn't call her mother in the past week, despite her promise to do so. Yes, her heart is shattered, so is her mind. So is about everything in her body. The only reason she could beat that bloody copy-cat motherfucker was because she got to learn something that was supposed to push back her blackouts so they wouldn't affect her anymore. Doesn't do shit. But it allows her to block the part of her brain that is responsible for pain for a while. She learned it in Tibet, in a monastery. Was actually kinda funny how scared Rick suddenly was, as if she's actually some magician.

So yeah, she destroys herself. But who cares? What does it matter? She was ill before she met Erik, she was on medications before him. She fought strangers in dangerous battles before Erik. She had sex before Erik too, though. Since she's back here she can't bring herself to have one night stands like she used to. Instead of enjoying them, she feels as if she's betraying Erik. Walking up to someone and going home with them feels wrong, getting out of her cloths and fucking around feels like a bloody betrayal. Omar was the only one that made her forget Erik, if only for a couple of hours. It was a nice change.

As the bad feeling came up the first time, she thought that it's only because he was the first after Erik. She thought she might feel better with women. But she felt even worse after the night with the girl whose name she forgot by the time the blonde curled up beside her. Bleached-blonde was satisfied and fast asleep, Kat was staring at the ceiling and wondered why she has to feel this way. Why. Why did Erik leave her?

And then there was that second girl she picked up in a bar. She fled from her apartment the moment the ginger fell asleep. She went home, smoked a joint and a couple of cigarettes on the way. As soon as the door to her apartment was closed behind her, she locket herself away once again. She was crying her heart out, cursing the man she is still so bloody in love with. That is the real reason she can't sleep with strangers anymore. It feels like she's cheating on him. But she's not. They're not together anymore. He left her without a note and didn't come back, didn't answer, didn't do a damn thing to stop her. That's a pretty clear message. Whatever reason he had to go, if it was some bullshit insecurity or whatever else he could think of, she doesn't care. He left. She waited for him several days, begged him to come back, to come with her to England -and he didn't answer her. He was probably watching her going crazy and that's making everything even worse. He saw what happened and didn't do a thing. She shouldn't feel bad, she should enjoy it. But she can't. And that's okay. At some point she will have forgotten about Erik and then she can catch up on what she missed. That's how it works when a relationship breaks, right? At first there's the depression and the anger, the tears and that horrible feeling that there will never again be someone else. But then it's becoming less and less and people go back to the way they were before. She can do that. She doesn't need him. She doesn't.


Her feet move on their own, her eyes averted to the ground to watch her feet moving. A couple of shots and tiny bit of cocaine to get herself going she finally went to visit her mother. They talked for a couple of hours and Kat actually managed to relax and laugh. She loves how her mum's not giving her this bloody pity-tour that she is always again confronted with lately. How she didn't even mention Erik once. They ordered a pizza, watched a movie and just chatted about the most silly things. They did that a lot as she still lived at home but after her hobby with the fighting became a bit more important part in her life and she realized that sex with strangers is actually helping her cope with stress, she thought that moving out might be the best course of action.

Her hand moves to the large pockets of her warm jacket to fumble for her keys. A sudden sneeze close to her has her stopping abruptly. She turns to where the noise was coming from, the corner she just walked around.

'' You're there aren't you. '' Her voice isn't exactly loud or offering much emotion. Her whole body suddenly turned empty, no emotions, nothing. For a long time she is met with silence but she knows he's there. Even though it was just a sneeze, she would recognize his voice everywhere. The first feeling that returns is the urge to groan at her stupidity. How could she actually believe that he really leaves her just because she tells him to go to hell? The guy's an obsessed Stalker, she was discovering that pretty early. Of course he would follow her.

Dumb Kat… real dumb.

''...No. '' The smallest smile comes to her lips as she titles her head in amusement. The aching in her heart becomes more nasty at the sound of his voice but at the same time this warm feeling of love consumes her. And the fact that he caught a cold while spying after her is actually really funny. She still loves him so much, of course she does. That intense feeling doesn't just disappear over night, not even after everything he's done. She's angry at him and very willing to smack him stupid. But that doesn't change the fact that the emotion is there.

She puts her hands in her hips, ready to ask him if he's waiting for an invitation to finally come out of his hiding but then she hears the faintest sound of feet shuffling over the ground. She wants to scold him for following her, for being still here after she clearly told him to go to hell… but the moment he looks up to her, all anger is blown away and she quickly walks a couple of steps towards him. His face is pale, his forehead covered in sweat and his body shaking badly. His mask is still in the right position and his wig is as well. But the hair on it is messier than usual. There's also a pretty torn jacket covering his torso a but, he must have found it somewhere.

Suddenly an idea pops up in her head that actually scares her a little:

'' Erik… how long are you out here already? ''

'' Since you told me to leave. ''

'' Since I- '' Her eyes widen as she looks him over again. There's noting that hints on him having anything warmer than just the things he's wearing now. There's pools freezing in the night, a mate of hers told her he found a squirrel frozen to the ground two days ago. Even with that extra jacket it's suicidal to stay outside for a whole week.

'' You followed me for a whole week?! Erik it's colder than an Eskimo's ass out here and you're not even close to dressed warm enough! '' He looks at her like she just kicked a puppy. Or him. Honestly, he's the puppy. He looks at her like she kicked him. Granted, she plays with the thought to hit him over the head until there's some sense in him but right now she's afraid the next blow of wind will knock him over. Her fist would kill him.

'' I had to make sure you are well… But I failed to protect you as I wanted to… You were hurt terribly in that fight and you slept with another man and you were taking drugs and I… just couldn't do anything to stop it…- '' He breaks off as tears well up in his eyes. His voice is slurred, looks like he's in a feverish haze. Her heart wrenches painfully in her chest. He had no idea that he followed her. He was watching her and Omar? He saw her in the arena? He wasn't supposed to see that. The fighting, okay, she was halfway expecting him to come along anyway. If everything would have gone as planned and he would have joined her, she would have told Omar that she's in a relationship and they had put their little fling on ice. Kat opens her mouth to say something but he interrupts her, his eyes are pointed at her but she's not sure how much he's able to focus right now. He's blinking more than usual, his circulation is probably being a bitch.

'' Kathrine I am so sorry… Please give allow me to explain myself to you. I know there is nothing I can say to justify my actions but at least you shall know the truth. I love you so very much I- '' He breaks off again, this time not because of tears. Kat's eyes widen as she sees how his small swaying suddenly becomes worse. She quickly closes the gap between them, her hands reaching out for him but he's already narrowing his eyes as they move to the ground,

'' I… think I have to lie down- '' He doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence before his body collapses. She catches him before he can fall to the ground but the weight of his body and the still bruised state her ribs and back are in right now forces her to her knees. She grits her teeth, she won't be able to use that small trick from the fight again this soon. It's not exactly simple to reach that state of mind you need to reach to block the pain. Doing it too many times could cause a permanent damage to her brain. But as she looks down at Erik panting and sees his face soon expressing pain she considers taking that risk.

'' Damn...'' She mutters to herself. She won't take the risk, she can get him up into her apartment without that. Chances that the one rib that got a small crack breaks from the strain that'll be put on it if she carries him up are high but she can deal with that later.

'' Erik don't fall asleep now. You have to do something for me first, okay? Open your eyes. Erik look at me. '' She watches how his eyes open just wide enough to look at her. She smiles down at him, barely able to hold back the tremor in her voice. Now she's the one who feels tears in her eye. He wouldn't be in that state if she had considered him stalking her sooner. Erik's eyes lost their sparkle, his skin is covered in sweat and dirt. His lips part in the attempt to say something but he's too weak. Her hand moves from his chest to his face to caress his cheek,

'' That's good, perfect. You're doing great handsome. Now put your arm around my shoulder, we have to get you to your feet. '' Again he follows her plead and forces himself to his feet even though she can see how weak he is. He must be in a lot of pain, he's burning up. A fever at that rate could be deadly. She bites her lip as she leads him slowly to the front door. Her grip on his arm around her shoulder tightens as her other hand releases him to once more fumble for her keys and open the door. She honestly never was this thankful for an elevator. He winces as the thing starts to move upwards but he's not commenting.

''…Where are we going…'' He asks as the elevator stops and its doors open to reveal her floor. She tights her grip on him and they set moving again.

'' To my flat. I'm gonna get you warmed up and give you something to eat. '' Her rib is sending clear warning signals but Kat will be damned to just let go now. She can take the pain, most of it is still numbed anyway and she can get rid of the rest as soon as Erik's taken care of.

''…You allow me in your home? ''

'' Of course I do…'' He doesn't say anything but that doesn't stop her heart from pulling together even more. It feels like an eternity passed until she finally has him in front of the door to her apartment. After getting both of them in and kicking the door close she helps him to her bed. He sits on the edge, swaying forwards and backwards as if someone rocks him.

'' Don't lie down yet, we have to get you outa those cloths quick. ''

'' How can you think about undressing me now… this is not the right time…'' She stops in her movements and closes her eyes for a second,

'' Billions of people on the goddamn planet and I get him. '' She mutters and shakes her head.

'' I'm not going to seduce you, you oaf. I'm getting you out of the cold and dirty cloths so that you can warm up and lie more comfortably. '' She thinks about getting him new cloths but it'll be complicated enough to get him out of his, getting him dressed is completely unnecessary considering that the sooner he gets into the shower the better. She grabs a couple of extra blankets and her bin for dirty cloths before returning to Erik's side. His eyes meet hers,

''…I'm sorry…'' She sighs and kneels down in front of him. His eyes then close and his breathing turns a bit more ragged. Kat frowns, he's really really sick. Depending on his temperature, she'll eventually have to call Tony. Perhaps it'd be better that way anyway. She carefully works him out of the jacket, waistcoat, shirt and pants until all he has left is a pair of the most horrible underwear she has ever had to see before. Those horrible, white things that remind of too long boxer shorts for old ladies. That's one thing she certainly does not find appealing. After making a face of disgust she gets those off too but they don't land in the bin for cloths. She'll throw them out as soon as Erik's settled. Perhaps she'll get him some briefs or normal boxers at some point.

She shakes her head, that doesn't matter right now. She's working the stubborn, delusional man up to the pillows and under the covers while assuring him she is not disgusted by doing this and he does not have to be ashamed about anything.