—Chapter 11: Tête-à-tête—
The next morning, Rey puttered around her kitchen in her nightclothes as she thought about how to broach the subject of going back to the base to visit with her friends. She scrambled some eggs in a pan and prepared pieces of fruit she had gathered yesterday.
Sitting at the table with her breakfast, she felt ready to talk to Ben. She reached out with her mind, finding Ben in his own kitchen, and projected her thoughts to him. Good morning, she said.
Good morning. Did you have a nice chat last night?
Pretty good, yes. He had a proposal…
He didn't respond right away …I'm going to hate whatever it is, aren't I?
Quite probably. They want us to come for drinks with them tonight.
Ben said nothing.
Rey persisted. I think we should go.
Rey, I—are you dressed?
Uh, yes… The question took her a bit off guard, and she recovered somewhat inelegantly.
Then hold on a second…
Rey waited, and a moment later Ben was in her cottage. He was dressed in his repaired black pants and his new robe hanging open in the front, his hair still mussed from having slept on it.
"I see you've now mastered this skill…" she muttered, hoping she could conceal her amusement at his appearance by playing up her irritation.
He ignored her comment. "This is a terrible idea, Rey. You didn't really think I would agree to this, did you?" he asked.
"I knew you wouldn't be thrilled, but I really think you should consider it," she said, as confidently as she could muster.
"Why in the world should I? You realize what could happen if I show my face there, don't you? And in a place where people will be inebriated? They won't be able to resist confrontation."
"Those are good points," she considered, "but I think the potential benefits outweigh those risks."
"Benefits? What benefits are you imagining? Besides satisfying your selfish need for social interaction."
He was trying to get under her skin, but she wasn't about to let him. "I want them to see how you've changed. They should know you as I do."
"I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I don't think this will go the way you think it will go," he said.
Instantly, at these words, she was struck with a wave of déjà vu, recalling her last conversation with Luke back on Ahch-To, and she was momentarily derailed. "When it comes to you, things never go the way I think," she sighed. "Regardless, we can't remain hermits forever. At some point, we'll have to go back anyway, and it will be that much more difficult the longer we put it off."
"I just don't agree. It's only been a week since my mother's death—that's still raw for a lot of people, and I'm sure many of them blame me for it. I'm not suggesting we remain hermits forever, but at least a few weeks would be more reasonable."
There were no more great counterarguments leaping into her mind, but she would not be dissuaded. "Look, I'm going to go no matter what, and I really think you should join me. It would be good for you."
He gave her a side-eye. "I think you have a very corrupted sense of what is good for me. How can any one person be this stubborn?"
"Stubbornness kept me alive during my formative years. Stubbornness is an asset."
He just narrowed his eyes at her.
She looked resolutely back at him. "Please come."
"Ugh," he groaned, "Fine, but I'm going to need to meditate all afternoon just to have the patience to endure this." He sighed, looking utterly aggrieved.
"So no training today then?" she asked, eyebrow raised.
"No training." His hands were clenched at his sides, but he looked more defeated than angry.
"Fair enough," she said. "Finn will pick us up in a speeder sometime after dinner. Be ready."
The resignation cut deeply into his expression, and he nodded wearily. "Uh huh," he said, and then disappeared.
She sat quietly for a moment, staring at the empty space Ben had occupied moments before. "I can't believe that worked."
—
Rey was dressed in her least grubby attire, and resolved to try to do some laundry the next day. She had butterflies in her stomach, and was full of nervous energy. Everything in her house had been cleaned and reorganized at least three times—she had forgotten how long a day on her own with nothing to do could be. Finally, her communicator signaled the impending arrival of her friend. With sweaty hands, she fumbled for it and switched it on.
Finn asked, "So, have you eaten? Can I come pick you up now?"
Rey did her best to stifle the nervous lilt to her voice as she spoke. "Yup, we're both coming."
"No kidding? That's… surprising," said Finn.
"It took all my skill as a master manipulator, but I convinced him that the pros outweighed the cons," she said.
"Did you have to Jedi mind trick him?" he asked facetiously.
She laughed. "That doesn't work on him, no."
"Tried it before, have you?" He chuckled. "Okay, I'm on my way. Be there in about ten or fifteen minutes."
"Okay, see you soon." She switched off the communicator and began to pace around the kitchen.
She reached out to Ben. Get ready, he'll be here in about fifteen minutes.
Super.
Have you eaten?
I had very little appetite, but yes.
Good. Okay, well, see you soon.
Uh huh, he said, and she pulled out of his mind.
Over the next fifteen minutes, she probably emptied and rearranged her wardrobe four times.
—
It was almost sundown when Finn pulled up to Rey's house. He hopped out of the speeder as she was coming out the door, running up to him to embrace. They hugged for a good several seconds.
"It's fantastic to see you," he said to her.
"Likewise, my friend," she said, and kissed him on the cheek.
"Let's see your place," he said, pulling her toward the cottage. They entered, and he looked around appreciatively.
"This is… cute. Very old-fashioned." He nodded his head as he took in the old-timey details.
"We had a lot of fixing up to do to get it to this point, but I don't really spend a lot of time here, so it's pretty bare."
"No, no, it's… cute."
"You said that already," she observed.
There wasn't a lot to see, so thirty seconds of glancing around proved to be an adequate tour of her place. Clapping her on the back, Finn said, somewhat awkwardly, "Uh huh. Well! Let's go get Ben, I guess."
They stepped outside and jumped into the speeder. Finn fired it up, and they headed northwest to Ben's cottage. The landscape she'd gotten so used to seeing as she walked looked very different as she zipped past it on the speeder. On Jakku, there was little difference; sand at high speed looked about the same as sand at low speed. Dendrokaan had such a greater diversity of life on display that seeing it in a smear provided her with a whole new appreciation for its details.
"So what did Ben say when you brought this idea up to him?" Finn asked.
"He basically said he would need to spend all day meditating in order to avoid harming himself or others."
Finn laughed. "That's very self-aware of him, I guess. So what do you think of him, honestly?"
She tried to think of the right words. "He's changed, I think. He's found more balance in the Force, and his abilities have grown. He can do things I wouldn't have thought possible."
"That's not exactly what I meant, but okay." He didn't say anything more, and they pulled up to Ben's cottage in silence.
Ben stepped out to greet them. He was dressed in the canvas pants and black shirt Rey had made him, covered by the robe. That the clothes she'd made seemed to fit was gratifying to her.
"Hi," she greeted him from the speeder. "Ready?"
"No, but we can leave. I'm as ready as I'm going to get." He looked miserable.
"Nice outfit," Finn commented. "It's weird to see you in anything other than full black."
"Yeah, well, I thought I should try to appear less… menacing."
"So black says 'menace' to you, does it? Is that what you're saying?" Finn remarked levelly.
Ben blinked. "What? No, that's not—"
"Uh huh, uh huh, sure. I know exactly what you're saying, Dark Side. Just shut up and get in, will you?"
Rey broke into a wide smile at the obvious goading, and exchanged a look with Ben, who appeared utterly dumbstruck. She waved to him to get in, and he reluctantly climbed into the back seat. He strapped himself in, and rolled his eyes up to the sky as they pulled away.
—
They parked the speeder in the hangar and hopped out. Finn led the way to the cantina, and Ben stayed close to Rey. His futile attempts at feigning nonchalance notwithstanding, his emotions betrayed his obvious preoccupation with trying to see if anyone recognized him.
When they stepped into the cantina, they were met with a loud greeting. "Finn! Rey! So good to see you! Come, sit!" Poe stood at his seat at a circular table and motioned for them to take a chair. Several bar patrons had turned from their conversations to see what the noise was about, and Ben bristled. Rose was seated next to Poe, smiling innocently. There were only two empty chairs at the table.
Finn was oblivious, but Rey felt awkward and glanced at Ben, who looked back at her nervously. She grabbed an empty chair from a nearby table and dragged it over, placing it between the two empty seats that were already there. She took the chair on the right, closest to Poe, and Finn sat next to Rose, leaving Ben the seat in the middle. Rose and Poe had already ordered drinks for themselves, and Poe looked like he was about two-thirds of the way through his. Rose had barely made a dent in hers.
Everyone was sitting down, and it was instantly the most awkward social gathering Rey had ever experienced, but she resolved to power through it and do her best to enjoy herself. "What are you drinking?" she asked Poe and Rose.
"Twi'lek brandy," Rose answered. "It's yummy, but it's got a kick. I have to drink slowly, or I won't make it to the end of the evening with my dignity intact."
"Yeah, she's a real lightweight," commented Poe, taking a swig from his glass. "What can I get for you, Rey?" So far, he had completely ignored Ben.
"Whatever you're having is fine," she answered. "What about you?" She looked at Ben.
"Same," he answered with a curt nod.
"Barkeep!" Poe shouted. "Another round of brandies over here!" Again, people turned to stare at them.
Stay calm. Don't let him get to you, Rey cautioned. Ben didn't answer.
"So tell us about all the cool Jedi stuff you can do that you couldn't do before," Finn said, attempting to initiate some genuine conversation.
"Ben has taught me a lot. Besides getting stronger at everything I could do before, I can use the Force to see the world around me, even at a distance," she said.
"Right, the spying thing," Poe editorialized. "Watch out," he said to Rose, fluttering his eyebrows conspiratorially, "They can find you anywhere."
Finn turned to Ben. "Rey says even you can do things you couldn't do before. Like what?"
Ben glared at Rey, exponentially more uncomfortable than he was a moment ago. "Nothing. She exaggerates."
She persevered, determined to help them appreciate how he had changed. "He can heal people," she offered. Ben stiffened.
"Is that right?" said Finn. "I tore my hand open yesterday helping Rose gut a B-wing," he said, waving his hand at them. "Think you could speed up my recovery?"
"Yeah, show us what you can do," challenged Poe, without even looking at him. He swallowed the last of his Twi'lek brandy and waved his glass in the air. "Barkeep! We asked for more brandy!"
Rey put her hand on Poe's forearm, and whispered urgently to him, "Will you please keep your voice down? You don't have to shout."
"What? I'm just trying to enjoy a drink with my friends here, and the service here suddenly got really bad!"
Rose stood up, "I'll go to the bar and get the drinks, calm down."
Rose walked off, and Poe added, to no one in particular, "It's just, I wonder why they won't come to our table. Seems odd, doesn't it?" Poe finally acknowledged Ben, whom he hadn't so much as looked at yet. "So yeah, Ben, heal my friend here."
"I can't," Ben said, looking across the room. "I only managed it once."
"Come on, give it a try," Poe urged. Finn removed his bacta patch to reveal the gash in his hand. It did indeed look pretty gruesome.
Go ahead. It might shut him up.
Ben looked at her and subtly shook his head.
Please, she insisted.
Ben looked back toward the table and sighed. From under his downcast brows, he shifted his gaze back to Rey and leaned forward slightly.
Ben's hands had been clenched in his lap, but he raised one arm and set his hand on the table, now looking at Finn. Finn moved his hand closer to Ben, glancing back and forth between his hand, Ben, and Rey. Rey looked at Finn gratefully.
Nervously, Ben hovered his hand over Finn's injury and tried to center himself. Poe watched intently, staring hard at Ben.
After a few seconds that seemed to stretch on a lot longer than normal, Ben grunted and pulled his hand away. "I told you, I can't." He shoved his hand back in his lap.
Under the table, Rey reached over and took his right hand. You can do this. I know you can. Ben stared at her, taking a nervous breath. Poe eyed them suspiciously. Keeping his right hand in place where Rey had covered it, Ben reluctantly lifted his left hand above the table, and set it over Finn's.
Ben continued to lock eyes with Rey, whose bearing had softened sympathetically as she stared back. Poe's eyes narrowed, and then Finn exclaimed, "Whoa, it's getting warm!"
Poe's attention shifted to Finn, whose eyes were wide, hand remaining under Ben's. Ben continued to look at Rey. Rose walked back up to the table carrying a tray of drinks, and creased her forehead in confusion at what she had come back to.
Finn had been rigid, but was starting to relax as the cooling sensation set in. Poe looked back at Ben and Rey, and frowned.
"That's amazing!" exclaimed Rose as Finn lifted his hand up to examine the results of Ben's efforts, laughing with appreciation.
"Hot damn! That actually worked!" cried Finn.
Rey was smiling at Ben, the two still looking at one another silently. She squeezed his hand under the table. I knew you could do it. The corner of his mouth twitched.
Rose had set the tray of drinks down and was examining Finn's hand excitedly. Poe continued to direct his gaze at Ben and Rey, looking not nearly as impressed as Finn or Rose.
"Wow, that was really something," Poe said, nodding sternly. Ben pulled his hand out from under Rey's and reached for his brandy, visibly relaxing. Rey also took a sip of her drink, smiling proudly.
"That was awesome!" said Finn to Ben. "You just learned how to do that?"
Ben nodded modestly. "That's the second time."
"Do you know how you did it yet?" questioned Rey. Then, to the others, she said, "He says he doesn't know how to teach that to me yet. So have you figured it out?"
"Maybe. Still not sure," Ben murmured.
She punched him playfully in the arm, causing a little of his brandy to slosh out of his glass. "God, you really are a withholding bastard," she laughed.
Ben took another sip of brandy and lifted a hand in his defense. "I may be withholding, but I'm hardly a bastard—my parents were married," he added dryly.
Finn and Rose looked at him and burst out laughing. Rey laughed too. Poe, however, slammed his hand on the table, causing their glasses of brandy to jump and splash, once again arousing the attentions of other patrons.
"You're a real nice guy now, aren't you? That's great. That'll make up for everything, I'm sure. Don't you think so, Rey?" Poe turned his eyes from Ben to Rey.
"Poe, I think you need to slow down on the brandy," admonished Rey.
Poe was about to start up again when a large Psadan approached them and interjected himself into their conversation. "Hey, you're that First Order leader, Kylo Ren, aren't you?" The nearly two-meter tall Psadan was obviously very drunk.
"No, I'm Matt. The new radar technician."
The Psadan ignored him. "What makes you think you can just sit and enjoy a drink here in this cantina, you First Order scum? Huh?" He bumped into the table, causing more liquor to spill. "Huh?"
Ben started to stand, but Rey rested her hand on his forearm, stopping him. She rose from the table, staring down the hulking Psadan, who was taller than she was by half, and nearly five times as wide. "You will go back to your table and ignore us for the rest of the night."
The Psadan looked blankly back at her, then pronounced evenly, "I will go back to my table and ignore you for the rest of the night." He turned and left without further incident, returning to the band of other Psadans he was there with.
Finn's eyes bulged, and he turned an impressed gaze to Rey. "Daaaamn, I need to go drinking with Jedi more often!"
Rey sat back down, pleased with herself. "I'm not a Jedi," she said, winking at Ben, who smiled back.
Suddenly, Poe erupted at her. "Well it's no wonder people are wary of you! You come here with the most notorious murderer in the galaxy and use your powers to put them in their place!"
Everyone looked at Poe, and he felt their eyes on him like daggers. "Don't look at me like that! This is exactly what I was afraid of! He's turning her into someone else!"
"Poe, you're being a little too intense right now," said Finn.
"Finn, this guy almost killed you. Are you really ready to just let that go? To let her go back out there with him?" He jabbed an accusing finger at Ben, who regarded him coolly.
Finn raised his arms in a placating gesture, and Rey touched Poe's arm to try to calm him. Poe whipped toward Rey, grabbing her roughly by the arm, "Rey, don't be taken in by him!" He got right up in her face and pulled her toward him possessively. Reflexively, Ben's hand shot out toward Poe, knocking him backwards out of his seat and across the floor into the legs of another group of patrons, who all turned to look accusingly back at them.
Ben stood up. "Time to go," he said, tugging Rey gently by the arm. She hurriedly stood to join him. Finn and Rose were too preoccupied with Poe to notice their departure, and they scurried out of the cantina amid the chaos.
They walked briskly toward the hangar, Ben's hand at the small of Rey's back, guiding her. People turned to watch them as they passed, but no one stopped them. Reaching the hangar, Ben jumped into the driver's seat of the speeder and pointed to the seat next to him. Rey joined him, and he engaged the acceleration, heading out of the hangar at breakneck velocity.
"Well, did that go the way you'd hoped?" he asked her, betraying only a hint of sarcasm.
Rey had her head despondently propped up on her palm, her elbow resting on the edge of the speeder. She looked at him wordlessly, then back out at the blurring landscape.
"Well?" he pressed her.
Rey sighed. "That wasn't ideal."
"No shit."
He considered needling her further, but ultimately decided against it. They rode the rest of the way back to her cottage in silence, which mercifully only lasted another couple of minutes.
The speeder slowed down and came to a stop a few feet from Rey's door. Ben switched off the engine, and they just sat there without speaking. Finally Rey broke the silence, looking at him. "For what it's worth, I actually think you made a good impression."
Ben exhaled a puff of air out his nose in a derisive laugh. He looked back at her from under his eyebrows with an incredulous stare.
"No, I mean it. I'm proud of you. Poe was being an ass, and I'm sure he'll have figured that out by tomorrow."
"You give him too much credit."
"Maybe," she admitted. "And you may have had a point about him having feelings for me…"
"Alcohol tends to make such things harder to conceal. Though, you could have just looked into his feelings and known long ago."
"I didn't want to. I didn't want to see it, but if I had let myself, I'd have known it was there. It was willful naïveté."
"Not interested then?"
"You have to ask? You can't just look into my feelings?"
Ben sighed. "I've been trying to do less of that."
She was silent for a moment as she took in his answer. She looked him in the eyes before answering his initial question. "I'm not interested in him, no," she replied flatly, shaking her head slowly.
They sat without speaking for another minute as the forest hummed around them, but then Rey finally stirred. "Well, this was a memorable evening, but I'm ready to call it a day." She hopped out of the speeder, and leaned in against the quarter panel on the side, staring back at him. "Go home, get some rest."
"I'll try," he said.
With a sigh, she turned around and headed into her cottage, giving a last wave to him as she stepped through the threshold. He waved back, and put the speeder into gear. As she closed the curtain that constituted her door, he pulled away and was gone.
