—Chapter 19: Debriefing—

Rey woke up alone in the detention cell. The last thing she remembered was crashing into the Finalizer's hangar—she was actually surprised to be alive at all, so waking up in the familiar restraints of the Finalizer's holding cell came as an odd comfort to her. The last time she felt these restraints was the first time she had seen Ben's face. She recalled her memories of her first conversation with him. He had interrogated her over the map to Luke. Just as he had interrogated Poe before that.

In the days following the battle at Crait, she and Poe had begun formally getting to know one another. As they shared their stories, they learned that they had both experienced interrogation at the hands of Kylo Ren. That interrogation was part of the reason Poe hated Ben so much. Ben had been rough. He had mercilessly rummaged through Poe's mind, painfully and without remorse. Poe had been operating on the assumption that it had been similar for Rey, and he felt an immediate camaraderie with her over their shared experience—"torture buddies", he had called them.

Rey hadn't corrected Poe, but she really hadn't experienced it that way. With Rey, Ben had taken his time, hoping to get her to talk before resorting to probing her mind, and when it finally came to that, he did it much more gently. Granted, that may have been because her latent skill with the Force was somehow protecting her, but she believed he could have easily compensated for that if he'd tried harder. Had Kylo Ren shown her compassion by not being more forceful? If so, why? Why would he have held back?

Back in the forest, after they had left the base to begin her training, Ben had said to her: "The First Order tortures people to get what they want." His reluctance to torture her could only have meant one thing.

He cared for me, even then, she thought. Even before his return from utter darkness, he was capable of compassion, and his heart knew, even if his brain did not, that torturing her was a step too far. For whatever reason, he had felt something for her that made him unable to treat her as roughly as he'd treated Poe.

Rey had thought the Resistance was better than the First Order because it extended its "care" more broadly. To those they didn't know. Even to those whom they regarded as enemies.

Yet Rey had done worse than torture, and she had done it to innocent children.

The weight of what she had done pressed on her, and she could barely breathe. I killed children. I asked Ben to do it for me, but they are dead because of me. Ben committed murder because I asked him to…

During the raid, Rey had felt the darkness encroaching. She had been angry and vengeful, and she had used those emotions in her fight against the First Order. She had been so fearsome, so powerful—she had become intoxicated by it. It was just like how she had felt when Ben was being attacked by the Psadans at his cottage, only so much more. She couldn't see, until it was too late, just how far into the darkness she had fallen.

Rey had never felt worse in her entire life. She had tried to teach Ben that her way was the moral way, the correct way. She had tried to teach him to be good, and yet here she was—a hypocrite. She had said the Resistance didn't torture. The Resistance didn't commit war crimes. But when she saw that Resistance fighter shoot that child, she had forgotten all of that. By allowing herself to rationalize what he had done, she became that which she should have condemned.

As her despair and self-loathing consumed her, tears threatened her eyes, and the doors to her chamber opened with a swish.

She fought back her tears. If she was ever to atone for what she'd done, she first needed to survive whatever was coming next. She surveyed the figures as they entered the room. She had never met the man who entered first, but she recognized him from Ben's memories. This was General Hux, the man who had betrayed Ben and nearly killed him. The individuals who followed after him, she knew only from her dreams.

"You," spat the general derisively, looking her over with scorn written all over his face. "You're that filthy scavenger from Jakku. You conspired with that bastard Kylo Ren to murder the Supreme Leader." He paused in his retelling to look her over once more, his expression shifting from one of pure venom to one that was almost giddy with anticipation as he seemed to realize something.

"You're with him, aren't you?" he said, smiling wickedly. It was a rhetorical question.

"I took this off of her after I sent her crashing into the hangar," said one of the others, a woman by the sound of her voice, but with a similar build to Hux. She wore a mask not unlike the one Ben had worn as Kylo Ren, and dangling from her belt was a lightsaber of her own. She knew these individuals must be the infamous Knights of Ren she'd heard about. The one who was speaking held Rey's saberstaff in her hands, and was presenting it to the general.

"Well done, Prarathi Ren," said Hux, taking the weapon from her.

This confirmed Rey's suspicions. She eyed the woman warily.

A taller individual, this one inexplicably more off-putting, stepped up behind Prarathi Ren and addressed the general. "She also had some sort of communicator, but we've destroyed that." This Knight was a man, and one whose voice sent chills down Rey's back. "Shall we move her to a more… secure location?"

A thin smile creased Hux's smug face as he looked hard at Rey. The general simply nodded.

On the Supremacy II, word had reached Faris Ren of the debacle at Kamino. He had deployed the other Knights of Ren to oversee the recruitment efforts on Arkanis, but those efforts had stalled once word had reached them that their presence was needed at Kamino. That was the last time Faris had heard from any of his senior officers directly—to tell him that not only were they not executing a mission to spread their galactic influence, but that their previous gains were in jeopardy.

Faris was displeased.

It had been some time since anyone had reported in, and Faris was getting impatient for an update. Sitting on his throne, Faris Ren crossed and uncrossed his legs, looking bored and anxious.

Sighing in irritation, Faris Ren stood up and walked over to a display tucked into the wall opposite the throne. He studied the panel, fingers hovering uncertainly over the controls. Finally, he seemed to find what he was looking for, and turned a knob clockwise as he pressed a glowing yellow button.

"May I help you, Supreme Leader?" answered a voice Faris Ren had never heard before.

Faris stood a little taller, glancing around lamely and subtly clearing his throat. His next words held an air of embarrassment for having to make the inquiries he was making, but he worked hard not to let his awkwardness show. "Yes, I need to speak to Lorim Ren on the Finalizer. Or General Hux. Or any of the Knights of Ren, really."

Fail.

Ever the consummate professional, the officer on the other end responded dutifully, "Right away, Supreme Leader. I will hail them and patch them through to you as soon as I have a response."

"Very good," replied Faris. Standing in front of the console, Faris wondered if he should sit down. Maybe I can answer from my throne? he thought. He didn't really like the idea of standing there waiting for someone to return his call. Had he made the call from his quarters, he could be at ease with the certainty that he would be able to receive the call from the comfort of his desk. He made a mental note to spend more time in his quarters and save the throne room for when he was receiving an audience.

A minute later, there was a yellow light flashing from the armrest of his throne accompanied by a soft tone. Faris Ren moved swiftly back to his seat, and pressed the yellow button.

It was Lorim Ren. "Supreme Leader, I assume you're awaiting an update on the situation on Kamino?"

"Obviously!" spat Faris Ren indignantly. "How long were you planning to keep me waiting?"

"Apologies, my lord. Things here have been… interesting."

"Well, get on with it," he demanded impatiently.

"The Resistance invaded Kamino shortly after the last of the children had been stored securely in the incubation chambers. Officers at the facility were unprepared for an assault, and were slow to respond. Resistance fighters, including Kylo Ren and a young Jedi female, were observed infiltrating the facility and disrupting operations there. The officers barricaded themselves in the Central Command office, where they were subsequently detained and interrogated. Lieutenant General Tonkin had his mind probed by Kylo Ren, and Lieutenant Ainu'u, commander of the recruitment vessel Adragna, willingly ordered the stormtroopers on site to stand down so the Resistance could escape with the children."

"That's outrageous!" yelled Faris.

"Yes sir, it's quite shameful," Lorim Ren said, ever insouciant. "The Finalizer arrived just as the Adragna was leaving the atmosphere, and a skirmish ensued between the Finalizer's TIE battalion and the Resistance squadrons. The vast majority of the Resistance fleet escaped, including Kylo Ren."

Faris Ren was furious. "I demand Hux get here at once. I need a word with him."

"He is presently seeing to the detainment of our one hostage, the Jedi who was accompanying Kylo Ren," replied Lorim, "but I will see that the Finalizer departs for your location immediately."

"Make sure to get that facility properly staffed first. Kill those incompetent officers!" bellowed Faris Ren with what he hoped sounded like authority.

"Already done, my lord."

The Resistance frigate dropped out of hyperspace shortly after the Adragna, and moved into orbit around Dendrokaan. A location had been established just outside the west wing of the base near the canteen that was convenient enough to use as a temporary dormitory for the children, so the Adragna headed for that spot to offload the children. There were shuttles aboard the Adragna that could carry thirty children apiece, and, in a pinch, could serve as sleeping quarters for most of those thirty. Between tents, cots and other miscellaneous bedding cobbled together from various parts of the base, the children would all have someplace to sleep while they were here. It wouldn't reverse the trauma they'd suffered, but it was a small comfort that could be offered.

They had called in help from a few allied planets to help provide caretakers for the children, but most of the help had yet to arrive. As a result, the bulk of the care was being given by crusty mechanics, hardened fighters, and other traditionally non-nurturing types of individuals. It had been a long time since the base's residents had felt so out of their element.

Most of the X-wings that had descended upon Kamino made it back. A few had been destroyed during the dogfight that ensued while they were escaping, and three more were crippled as a result of Ben's crash landing in the hangar. By all objective measures, this was a startlingly successful mission.

In spite of the favorable numbers, Poe had a difficult time feeling positive about how things had gone. Rey wasn't there to celebrate with them.

After everyone had landed back at the base, Poe was summoned to StratComm by Commander D'Acy to debrief the operation. Snap had already provided the statistical data from the frigate's logs, but it was time to discuss what was learned, and what was going to happen next.

To do that, he was going to need Ben.

After parking in the hangar at the base, Ben had slipped away from everyone much more surreptitiously than he would have thought possible before today. Everyone was so preoccupied that Ben was able to walk out virtually unnoticed by anyone. He headed for the one place that he knew would be unoccupied.

The door to Rey's residence hall quarters opened with a creak. The quarters had been undisturbed for some time now, and the air inside was musty from stagnation. The room was tiny, offering standing room only for about four people—the door had to swing out rather than in, it was so tight. Pulling the door shut behind him, he stood and took in the sights of the small space.

Rey had taken so few personal items with her to their training site that he had to marvel at how little was actually here. Hadn't she been living here for nearly two years? There was a glass for water on a nightstand beside her simple bunk, and a wardrobe on the wall to the right. Looking inside, Ben saw a couple extra pairs of shoes and a heavy winter coat. For some reason, the sight of the cold weather clothing hanging abandoned in the closet stabbed at his heart, and he quickly shut the wardrobe. There were no decorations or other personal touches anywhere in the room.

Nothing about this cramped little room said home to him. Had she been waiting to leave from the moment she'd arrived? Ben could only wonder. Oddly, she had left her bed made, like she was keeping it ready for the next occupant to come in and take her place.

He gazed absently at the neatly made cot for a moment longer before gently lifting the pillow from atop the sheets and staring down at it in his hands. A strand of her hair clung to the cover. Ben lifted the pillow to his face and inhaled deeply, taking in the scent lingering in the fabric. He closed his eyes, burying his face in the soft cloth. His breath caught in his throat, and he could feel himself about to lose control as he gripped the pillow tighter and tighter.

Tears glistened at the corners of Ben's eyes, and his chin quivered, but he managed to govern his sensibilities. Turning to more familiar emotional territory, Ben dropped the pillow and ignited his lightsaber, screaming in anguished fury as he slashed and tore at the meager furnishings in Rey's puny room, reducing it to splinters and twisted metal. His screams echoed in his ears, and his saber split the walls themselves. For several more seconds, his bitterness at the universe spilled out of him, leaving nothing but shreds of cloth, singed wood, and red hot shrapnel in its wake.

When he was finished, blood vessels were bulging from his contorted face, and his saber crackled motionlessly at his side. His eyes were shut tight against the light of day.

"So this is where you snuck off to," said Poe, standing in the open doorway.

In his rage, Ben hadn't noticed Poe's approach. The last thing Ben wanted at this moment was to talk to Poe. Giving no other physical or verbal response, Ben let the continued buzzing of his chaotic red lightsaber do his talking for him.

Rolling his eyes, Poe prodded him to respond. "Look, you need to tell us what information you got out of the First Order. We're not done."

Saber still snapping and hissing, Ben turned his head toward Poe and leveled a dark glare in his direction. "None of the information I collected will get Rey back. It doesn't matter."

"But it does matter," insisted Poe. "It matters to those kids and their families, and it would matter to Rey that we help them."

Ben snorted. "I don't give a damn about those families."

"Right, just Rey, I get it. And I suppose destroying the contents of her room is your way of conjuring up a plan to go get her?"

Ben snapped, "Wasting my time and energy discussing strategic operations about the First Order's recruitment efforts is certainly not going to get her here any faster!" For good measure, Ben hacked at the remains of Rey's bunk to emphasize his point.

Shaking his head in disdain, Poe spat back, "Don't you get it? We need your help. And you need ours. Tell us what you know, and we can figure out a plan! We want Rey back just as much as you do!"

Ben took a couple of steadying breaths before continuing. Staring off into space, he whispered his warning, "Poe, I may kill you if you don't leave right now. Don't speak. Don't move in any direction but towards the hall. I'm trying. So hard. But right now I'm struggling to contain myself." He closed his eyes, praying that if he shut them fiercely enough he could cleave himself from the rest of reality. The strain to hold back his violent fervor left a palpable darkness in the air that made Poe's skin crawl. After a few breaths, Ben managed to grit out a final plea. "Get. Out."

Having made what he thought was a pretty impassioned entreaty, Ben was positively incensed by the continued presence he felt behind him moments later. Whirling around, he carved his lightsaber through the chest of the figure standing in the doorway. There was a momentary feeling of panic as he realized what his loss of control had brought him to, followed by surprise and relief as he discovered that his saber had found purchase not in flesh, but in the doorframe beyond.

"That didn't work last time either. Won't you ever learn?" Luke's ghost stood serenely in the opening, calm and sympathetic eyes meeting Ben's pained expression.

Staring at his uncle, Ben's fury crashed like a shattered window, his legs buckled beneath him and his lightsaber extinguished in his hand. He collapsed on the floor, resting on his backside and leaning against the remains of Rey's bedside table. The strain was gone from his face, and he stared blankly at his knees. Silent tears streamed down his cheeks.

Luke stared down at his tormented nephew. "We need to talk," was all he said.