Sansa had barely slept that night. Her mind kept wandering back to her encounter with the Hound in the hall. How could she have been so stupid to have let him touch her, especially out in the open. Joffrey was already looking for any excuse to torture her. She had finally given him one, one that if anyone found out about would ensure her death. The Hound would never be able to protect her now, a dead man couldn't protect her.
Sansa laughed aloud in the dark room. She had acted as a wanton woman would. A noble lady wouldn't beg a lowborn second son to touch her nor would she fall apart completely under his fingertips. She hadn't recognized the person she had become at his touch. Sansa had begged! Begged the Hound to touch her and when he had, she had been more than eager for his skilled touch.
Where had he even learned to do that? The Hound was known to visit many brothels. Perhaps he found his pleasure through her. But it had seemed he only had taken care of her pleasure. The Hound hadn't completed himself. Or at least she didn't think he had. Come to think of it, Sansa had no experience with this matter anyway. She had no idea if he did or not. Maybe he had used her for his own pleasure. Yet, if he had, she worried about how much she hadn't minded and how little she minded now. Her womansplace began to heat up once more at the memory of what he had done to her and Sansa's cheeks began to become heated. She was no lady in the eyes of the gods. She threw herself onto her bed and willed herself to fall asleep and forget this day had ever happened. She willed herself to dream of brave knights and their fair maidens. Yet, all she saw in her dreams were scars.
Sansa had been summoned to break her fast with the Queen Regent that morning. Cersei had always prided herself on her ability to break down those around her. Sansa could barely remember the reason why she had looked up to Cersei, a woman who was so distraught in her own life she lived off the pain and suffering of others.
Sansa knew her tricks and knew Cersei's actual plan was for that morning. To humiliate Sansa with the rumors of her and the Hound. She groaned and fell back into her bed, watching her evening with the Hound flash before her eyes.
Only they weren't rumors anymore.
She knew what would happen to her if anyone were to find out about anything that occurred between her and the Hound and Sansa was determined for that to never be brought to light. She would have to be resilient today when talking with the queen.
As much as she hated dealing with Joffrey, she hated Cersei more. Joffrey was easy to fool while his mother was much more perceptive when watching Sansa's mannerisms and perceiving the real meanings behind her words. Sansa would have to rely on a respective silence when dining with the Queen.
Shae was brushing her hair as Sansa began to rehearse how she surely would discuss with Cersei the rumors surrounding her and the Hound. Sansa watched Shae's concentrated expression as she attempted to style Sansa's hair as she had requested. Sansa usually had to instruct her during the process.
"Shae, what does it look like when a man… well… finishes?" Sansa asked, pretending to focus on smoothing her dress in her chair to avoid the questionable gaze of her handmaiden.
"When he cums?" Sansa gasped at Shae's blatant use of language. She had never met a woman as profane as Shae was and found it hard to ever get used to her way of speaking.
"Yes." Sansa gulped before turning her eyes to Shae's. Shae had stopped brushing her hair and appeared to be in deep thought. Sansa had begun to worry that her question was too inappropriate before Shae continued brushing and relayed her answer.
"Usually, it appears they are in pain. Their mouth can be open, eyes furrowed, sometimes closed. Sometimes they grunt in completion. Some men screech like little girls." Shae laughed, seemingly remembering a personal experience.
"Would you say that it is easy to see the moment when he…?" Sansa was sure that Shae could see the guilt radiating off Sansa in droves. She wished that she could take her words back but Shae had always been reliable. And Sansa had no one else she could possibly talk to.
"I would say so. Sansa, is there something you want to tell me? A reason you are asking these questions?" Shae watched Sansa through the mirror causing Sansa to avert her eyes from her pensive gaze. Sansa knew that Shae now suspected her of something but she could not tell her. If anything, it would only put Shae in danger with her. She didn't want the only person she actually cared about in the capital to be punished for Sansa's foolish and reckless behavior.
"I had only overheard the maids and their stories. I only wanted to ask." Sansa spoke clearly and calmly, she was sure that Shae would not buy her excuse but Sansa also knew that Shae would not pry any further on the subject.
Once Sansa's hair was done and put up in the Southern fashion, Sansa was collected by one of the kingsguard and escorted to the gardens. Sansa tried and failed to collect her nerves on her walk to meet the Queen. Cersei would surely find new ways to humiliate her. Sansa did not understand why the Queen hated her so. She had no interest in playing the stupid game of thrones that everyone was so insistent on playing. She only wanted to return home and never ever visit King's Landing ever again.
Cersei sat waiting for her under a shaded canopy among the blooming flowers. A lion among the roses. Although Sansa hated Cersei with all her being, Sansa did admire the Queen's ability to effortlessly exude the essence of innocence and beauty. Sansa hoped one day to perfect her technique and use it to get revenge on every Lannister and Lannister man for what they had done to her family. Cersei smiled as she spied Sansa approach. Sansa could tell by the way Cersei waved her arm that she was already well into her cups.
Not as effortless when she was drunk.
"Little dove, sit. Sit." Sansa took a seat across from Cersei. Cersei's cupbearer rushed to Sansa's side and poured her cup full of the sickly sweet wine the Queen was always drinking. Sansa took a sip as the Queen spoke once more. "Don't you look radiant today, you are a young beauty." She slurred, her eyes unable to focus on Sansa for long. Sansa found that it was much easier to read the Queen when she was drinking.
"Thank you, your grace. You look lovely as well." Sansa spoke with a sweet smile willing her cheeks to flush red at the Queen's words. If there was one thing Sansa had to ensure, it was to make her enemies undermine her every action.
Cersei's lips tugged at the corners but her eyes remained still and unfriendly. She huffed and tilted her glass signaling her cupbearer to fill her glass. "All the way up." She clinked her glass at the young boy who had the displeasure of following her around all day with the sole purpose of filling his Queen's wine.
"Sansa, dear, I'm sure you are aware of the disgusting rumors going around about you and Sandor Clegane." Cersei turned her attention toward Sansa once more, and spoke. Vile was clearly dripping from where she spoke of their affair. Sansa had been correct in her assumptions of why Cersei would want to speak with her although she hadn't been expecting her to confront her so early in their meeting.
Sansa composed herself and plucked a grape off of it's vine. Plopping it into her mouth, she spoke "Your grace, these are disgusting rumors and completely untrue. I feel such shame for bringing such a disgusting rumor to taint the crown." Sansa recited as if reading a boring play. The Queen let out a sound at the back of her throat, clearly unimpressed by her answer. Cersei was looking to prod and poke at Sansa's displeasure and to feed off of her misery. Sansa refused to give Cersei anything.
"How do you believe that these rumors started? So strange that they would just spark wildfire out of nowhere." Cersei made sure to coat her last words with malice. Sansa knew that the Queen was aware of where these rumors had started, she had to also be aware that she and her disgusting son were the reason they had begun. If they had not been willing to sacrifice Sansa's life during the bread riots, they would never have found any ground to begin. Sansa had been left to die with no help from the Lannisters, the only one who had deemed her worth living was the Hound.
"Forgive me, your grace. I am just as confused as to their origin as you are. I can assure you I have done no such action to ignite these rumors. But even your grace must understand how these ridiculous rumors can be fabricated, how disgusting and false gossip can follow one around regardless of their innocence." Sansa had heard the rumors of Cersei and her brother, Jaime. She was sure everyone had heard this rumor, it was the most popular piece of gossip in the kingdom. She had little care if it any of it was true but the way that Cersei swallowed and stabbed her cheese, Sansa assumed that it held great truth.
Cersei took a long drink before continuing, "Be sure, little dove, that if any of what they say is true, you will be dealt with accordingly as a traitor to King Joffrey. You will be examined once more for your innocence and purity." Cersei spat out before standing abruptly and walking briskly back to the Red Keep. Sansa was left to weigh the words that the Queen had spoke to her.
Shortly after Sansa had returned to her chambers from her meeting with the Queen, she was visited by one of the crown's septas. Humiliated, Sansa had been told to lay back as the Septa pulled up her dress and removed her small clothes.
Sansa had watched the ceiling, tears building at the corners of her eyes as the septa prodded at her womansplace. She held her breath praying that the Hound had not claimed her maidenhead with his fingers. The intrusion had been painful but she had not bled from the experience. It had been only a few moments but Sansa could have sworn it had been a lifetime before the septa found what she was looking for and instructed Sansa that she could sit back up.
"You are still pure, my lady. The King will be pleased." The septa smiled warmly at her and Sansa returned her fake smile.
"I am so happy that his grace will be pleased by the news." The septa collected her things and left her finally. Sansa found herself thankful that Joffrey had not insisted on being there to inspect her womansplace over the septa's shoulder. He would surely have brought Meryn Trant and the rest of the kingsguard with him. Joffrey perhaps would have let Meryn inspect her himself. Tears escaped Sansa's eyes at the thought of that monster touching her most private area. She was thankful once more that Joffrey was not here, he would surely laugh at her tears and at her humiliation.
Sansa began to wonder if Joffrey would have brought the Hound with him. If Joffrey or Meryn had inspected her themselves, Sansa found herself pondering if the Hound would have let them touch her. Surely, she thought so. After all, he was still the King's dog and she was only the stupid girl wandering the castle waiting to be saved.
