AN: My muse is not in the mood for chronological order, so here's some past! Takes place circa the NJO novel "Recovery" in 26 ABY.


She noticed sooner this time. Much sooner. The unfamiliar flutter of activity in her own cells was not something Leia had been attuned enough to the Force to even notice the first time 'round. Even now, it wasn't so obvious except that she'd been trying to meditate more often since her recovery had begun. And during one of such private sessions was when- and how- Leia came to notice the cluster of foreign cells forming new life.

It took a few moments before all the pieces came colliding together. Her attention was first caught by the anomaly, the strange flurry of action, her cells morphing and changing at an alarming rate that Leia was almost concerned. Was it her legs? She'd been fighting stubborn infections that had been threatening the tissue in her legs for months. Was it finally winning out? Would she even ever be able to walk without the help of braces plus some additional assistance? Whenever she pushed off her medbunk to stand, Han would rush over to assist, guiding her ever carefully to her feet and ever slowly across the floor. She'd thought her legs were getting stronger …

But closer inspection told Leia that the anomaly wasn't so foreign after all. She recognized her own life signature encompassing her cells, and even this mysterious heterogeneously with hers, however, were hints of Han's as well. Still, it took Leia another moment before she even dared to think …

It couldn't be. Could it? That strange blob of cells forming together somewhere deep within herself … cells joining together, molding to create new life.

Life. A new life, a new person. A child, a baby. In her.

Leia was thrown out of her meditations, breathless, the sudden shock too great to focus her mind. Fierfek, she could hardly process one of the hundred thoughts that were racing through her mind at lightspeed, tangling her in a web of dismay. She was too startled to explore any further, too afraid to search any deeper. A secret too frightening to meet face to face lay before her, but Leia could hardly fathom the idea of reaching out for it again. But it was stuck with her, nestled deep within the folds of her own womb, and now that she'd noticed it, Leia couldn't possibly ignore it.

No. No, it couldn't be. It was as simple as that; it just couldn't be. Still, Leia submerged herself in the Force again, this time deliberately seeking out the foreign presence. She still couldn't believe it. But it was still there- and growing.

Once she finally managed to breathe, the air rushing back through her lungs like an echo of her shock, Leia managed to grab hold of her thoughts, seizing individual doubts and fears as they ran their course. She let herself latch onto one at a time, reaching in order to put a name to each fear, each joy, each doubt. I am forty-five years old, healing and recovering from an attack that left behind infections which are threatening my chances of ever walking by myself again. And I'm-? She couldn't get herself to even think the word- it came with too much weight attached, a heavy blow of understanding that she wasn't ready to contend with. But she had no doubt it was real, and it wasn't fair if she tried to ignore it, deny it.

Eyes stinging like salt on a wound, Leia laid a hand over her abdomen, still reaching out to the burgeoning, new presence. Hi. Baby. If she'd spoken the greeting aloud, her voice would have tremorred with her anxiety.

Once again, she was thrown out of her own inspection, her mind unwilling to cooperate and focus enough on the Force. Panic, fear, anxiety-

Joy. Some ineffable joy beyond Leia's comprehension. Hi, baby. Hi, baby.

Bits of her sanity began to return and Leia gasped as her first clear thought in minutes struck. Han. She was seated on the floor, legs spread painfully before her. The pain started to come back to her and she supposed that was a good sign. Han had left a comlink for her on the nightstand- if she'd stayed in bed as Han expected of her, she would have been able to reach it. Deliberate on his part, she knew without a doubt. He wouldn't be happy, but Leia could hardly care less. She snatched the comm from the high table with a flick of the Force and it fell into her lap. Han. Han. She needed to tell Han.


"You fell." Of course, this was Han's first assumption as he came sprinting into her room and found her on the floor, eyes red and puffy. "Nimbi wants you to stay in bed."

She sniffled. "Nimbi also said I shouldn't overexert myself."

"What?"

Leia shook her head. "Nothing. I'm fine."

"You fell."

"I didn't fall. I- wanted to meditate. I got down by myself."

However, Han was already bending over to help her up, lifting her up by her armpits. "Are you hurt?"

"Fierfek, Han, I'm fine."

"Blast, Leia, your eyes are-" Han shook his head, gently setting her back in bed. "How do your legs feel? They aren't shaking right now-"

"Han, it isn't my legs." She managed that much in a clear, strong voice, reaching to grab the collar of Han's shirt so he was looking at her.

Desperately searching her eyes for an answer, Han asked, "What is it?"

Her first instinct was to make him feel, show him what she had felt that was now turning her world upside down, but Han couldn't feel that. He could not feel and touch and see things in the realm of the Force as she could- but that was the only sign she had. It would be too early to tell with a fetal monitor, no tangible heartbeat was even there yet. But Leia felt it, felt life growing, developing, cells forming and massing together to create something so beautiful. She understood that he wouldn't be able to feel that, but she seized his hand and pressed it to her abdomen anyway. She held his hand there, her tears flowing steadily. If she could just make him feel, make him understand without having to explain what she felt, what terrified her so.

"Leia?" His voice hitched. Her speechless clue was enough. "Leia, what- what's-?"

"I'm pregnant." Saying it out loud was nearly a shock too great and she struggled against the tears stuck in her throat.

Han smiled, then laughed, then he shook his head. "Leia, what's-"

She pressed his hand harder, firmer against the cloth of her medgown and her abdomen. "I can feel it." She forced herself to take a breath and she gasped for it, her ribs aching with the effort. "I feel it. Han?"

"You're …"

All she could do was nod, rendered speechless in the face of her own sheer terror, thrill, a mix of highs and lows that she struggled to make sense of. How did she feel about this?

"Leia." It gave her some confidence to see that Han seemed to be struggling even more so with his words. She could have laughed if she wasn't so- shocked. She yearned to react, to be able to feel, to share something of this moment with Han. The words were right there …

"You can …?"

"I can hardly explain it, Han, but I felt it and I know that it's …" And yet, the words were still lost to her.

"A baby."

This time, Leia managed a laugh as she caught her face in her hands, hysterical. "We're pregnant, Han! That's our baby."

Han's hand was still attached to her abdomen, but his touch turned light, delicate against the fabric of her hospital gown. He cast his eyes downward, staring at her flat midsection with a child's curiosity. Already, a loving warmth was forming in his eyes, gentle as an Alderaanian breeze, dedicated as the twin suns over Tatooine. It dawned like the gorgeous sunset of Naboo- Leia saw it in his eyes, a light she hadn't seen in him for so long. It rose hesitantly, cautiously. So, Leia nodded because she didn't know what else she could say.

"You're-"

Releasing a shaky breath, she nodded again.

"Pregnant."

His hands came up to cup her face, deep hazel eyes finding hers. It was at that exact moment that the pieces came together and Leia could grasp how she really felt. Her pulse raced in fear, but an unsurpassable joy emanated from deep within her and she saw the echo of its call in her husband's eyes.

"You're kidding." He brushed his mouth against hers shortly, quickly, and his hands shook against her cheeks. "You're kidding, sweetheart."

She shook her head, reaching for his hands. "I can feel it. I can feel it, Han. And it's so beautiful."

"We're gonna' have another baby." Han kissed her again.

"Shh, Han." Her fear nagged at her, threatening to pull her down. "I don't know what's going to happen."

Han stopped. "You're scared."

"Aren't you?"

He dropped his head for a long moment, still hanging onto Leia. When he looked back up, seeking her gaze, Leia saw him lower his walls as his vulnerability shone through

"Terrified. But I'll stay here no matter what happens." A breath, then, "I swear it, Leia."

She shuddered. "I'm so afraid, Han. I'm so afraid we'll lose it-"

"Shh. Hey! Shh. It's okay. All we can do is try."

She fell into his embrace, shoulders shaking with each silent cry. Han held her tight, rocking her, kissing her on the crown over and over.

"Kriff, Leia, I can't believe it."

"Han."

"Fierfek, I love you."

"Han."

"You are amazing."

"Han."

"What is it, Princess?"

"How are we going to tell the kids?"