Note: Warning, we are starting to head into Infinity War territory with this story. This chapter hints at it. The next chapter will flat out spoils it. You have been warned.
Steve was sitting at a table in Wakanda, smiling as his friends talked around him. They had been here for about two weeks and he knew they needed this downtime, a time to recharge before heading back out. It seemed like the work was never done. A soon as they cleaned up one arm's dealer, a Hydra base showed back up. It was never-ending. He looked his friends over, still not sure if he was planning on going back out with them. He wasn't sure if he could leave here, not when she wasn't coming with him, yet he couldn't shake the feeling deep down in the pit of his stomach, something was coming. He could just feel it.
He felt a hand in his and he smiled. She was worth it, she was worth everything. Stay or go. He would do whatever he needed to do, for her.
"Steve," He heard her say. He turned to look at her, before seeing nothing. He blinked looking around the now empty room, at the eerie silence. He felt his heart quicken as the panic set in. He felt that feeling in his stomach grows, knowing for some reason that this was his fault.
"Steve," He heard, turning again to the voice still finding nothing. He shot out of his seat, running from the room. He had to find them, but all he found was emptiness.
"Rebecca?" He called out.
"Steve," He heard again, turning, still finding himself alone. He was always alone.
"The soldier… A man out of time…" He heard Loki's voice.
"You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality, you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind," Red skull's voice
"You can't save them all…." Ultron told him.
"I lost everyone and so will you," Zemo told him.
"We'll lose," Tony's voice said.
"You will know what it's like to really lose, soon enough…" an unfamiliar voice said.
Steve felt a hand on his shoulders shaking him, and his hand went out, wrapping his hand around his assailant's neck.
"Steve…" He heard a familiar voice choke out before he looked up into the terrified face of his wife. He relaxed his grip as she backed away from the bed, gasping for air. Steve sat up, shaking off the last bit of the dream. He looked over, seeing Rebecca still shaken before it hit him on what he just did.
"Becca… I'm … I'm sorry," He said. She nodded to him, but kept her distance, not sure what to make of what just happened.
"Bad dreams?" She choked out her voice a little raw but still concerned. He closed his eyes. His heart broke a little. He licked his dry lips.
"Yeah," He said getting up out of bed. She watched him slip his pants on before grabbing his shirt.
"Steve?" She asked. He felt a shiver go down his spine at her voice… so familiar.
"I need some air," He said before leaving their room.
She watched him leave. 'What the hell just happened?' she thought to herself, her hands going to her neck, still feeling the ghost of his fingers wrapped around her neck. This was the first time she ever felt afraid in Steve's presence and she didn't like the feeling.
She went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror seeing the bruises forming on her neck. It shocked her a little. She knew it wasn't his fault. Something in that dream had spooked him and he just reacted to it. She was not upset over the marks he left on her, if anything, she was more upset that he left without talking to her about it.
She left the bathroom before going to her clothes, pulling out a turtleneck she owned. She half smiled at it. She got it for whenever Steve got a little possessive on her neck. She still got teased a little when she wore it, but she would rather have people think that… then what really happened.
She put it on before she left her room with the intent of finding Steve. She started to walk down the hall when Natasha found her.
"What's going on?" Natasha asked Rebecca. Rebecca looked at her confused. Natasha took her arm, dragging her back to her room. 'What the hell just happened?' She thought to herself as Natasha pushed her into her room.
"Did you two get into a fight?" She asked.
"Ahh… not really," Rebecca said confused.
"Steve wants to leave, as soon as possible," Natasha told her. She felt a chill wash over her before the heat began to rise, anger now.
"Bastard…" She growled out before storming out of the room.
'Where are you?' she sent to him. She got back silence.
"Becca?" She heard Natasha behind her.
"Where?!"
"Quinjet…" She told her and Rebecca was off. She made it down to where the quinjet was stored, finding it open. She stormed in.
"You are leaving?" She asked. He stopped what he was doing, but didn't look at her.
"It's better this way…" He told her.
"Why?"
"I hurt you…" He said.
"Not talking to me is hurting me more. So you had a bad dream. You lashed out. So?"
"I could have killed you... " Steve said.
"You did not."
"I could have!" He snapped at her as he finally turned to look at her.
"So you are going to run away!" She snapped back at him.
"To protect you two… I would do just about anything."
"What the fuck was in that dream?" Rebecca asked.
"The truth," He told her.
"Steve talk to me, please…" She said nearly in tears.
"That wasn't the first time I had that dream... just the first time I hurt you. I can't do that again," He said tears in his eyes. "I think it's telling me something," He explained.
"What is that?"
"Something is coming… something… big." He told her. She sighed.
"So you want to go back out there. Put some wrongs, right," She concluded. She gave him a half smile. "Always the good soldier," She told him. She saw him stiffen, turning away from her again. "Fine, be that way…" She said before she turned to leave the quinjet.
She walked into Shuri's lab, finding the girl deep in her research.
"I need to see my father."
"He still doesn't want to see…" She started before looking at Rebecca, seeing the tears. Shuri nodded. "I'll get ahold of him."
"Please… do not give him a chance to say no." She told her friend. Shuri walked up to her, before giving her a hug.
"Sure."
"Sergeant Barnes," Shuri called out as Bucky was working. He looked up with a smile before it slipped from his face, seeing Rebecca there. He licked his lips before he let out a deep sigh. His hair was a little longer and unkempt, and he was now sporting a beard, smiling as it reminded her of Steve's.
"She talked me into it," Shuri explained. Rebecca started to walk to him.
"I am sorry. I know you wanted me to leave you alone," She said as a tear slipped down. "But I need you…" Rebecca said. Bucky's coldness evaporated at her tears. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arm around her as she cried into his chest. Bucky nodded to Shuri and she left as he tried to calm down the crying mess Rebecca was in. He moved her to sit down on the cart he was working on.
"What happened?" He asked, worried.
"Steve," She choked out. Bucky paled at that, fearing the worst. "Is a jerk…" She said. Bucky let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"He can be a punk sometimes," Bucky said. She let out a light chuckle, finally letting him go. "What happened?" He asked. She took a breath.
"He's running away from me," she said. "He had this dream, not sure what it was about, he won't talk to me about it. But I tried to wake him up… and he hurt me on accident," She told him. "He did not even know he was doing it until it happened. I think he is just scared," she said.
"Maybe he just needs time," Bucky offered. "He loves you… and he hurt you. I know that feeling." She looked at him, giving him a sad smile.
"He does not want to face it. What he did," She concluded, knowing it wasn't just Steve she was talking about. "But he is going to have to. He can not hide forever." Bucky sighed.
"You're not talking about Steve anymore."
"Maybe I am talking about both of you." Bucky smiled.
"Yeah, I guess maybe it is time I stop hiding. I could give that punk a word or two about making you cry." She let out a light laugh.
"You do that…" She told him. They both stood up and started to walk were Shuri was waiting for them. She smiled at them. That was when she noticed the quinjet. She looked in shock as it went airborne, before making a quick escape from Wakanda. Rebecca felt a tear slip down her cheek.
"Wow… he really is running away," Bucky said. "What did he do that scared him so much?" Bucky asked worriedly. He never knew Steve to run away from a fight… ever. Whatever this was, it must have completely shaken his friend to the core.
"Does not matter now…" She said with a defeated look in her eyes.
"It does matter, I mean, I can't believe he would leave you," Bucky said.
"I was not planning on leaving here, It just looked like he was going to stay with me…" Rebecca explained.
"Why were you planning on staying here?" He asked curiously. She blushed at that.
"Well… ummm. I did not want to risk… getting hurt," She mumbled, a hand on her stomach.
"You're pregnant?" He asked. She nodded. "He left you here alone, and pregnant?" Bucky couldn't even hide his anger.
"She's not alone," Shuri said with a smile. Rebecca smiled at her.
"Can you, get ahold of him?" She asked, nodding to Shuri's beads.
"You sure?" She asked. Rebecca nodded. Shuri established a connection with the quinjet, handing her the beads. She walked away for some privacy.
"Hey Nat," She said, seeing her friend on the other end.
"Hey, you. I tried to stop him." Natasha admitted. She shook her head.
"It's ok. Can I talk to him?"
"Sure thing," she said. There was silence for a little bit before she saw Steve's face projected.
"Hey," He said, sadly.
"Hey. Just tell me you are coming back," She said sadly.
"Of course, I just need..."
"Time… I get that. Just know, no matter what, I love you, Steve Rogers," She told him. "Never doubt that."
"I love you too, Becca."
"You are being a coward, you know that?" She shook her head. "But I will give you your time."
"Thank you," He told her.
"Take care of yourself. Come back to us."
"You know I will."
"Bucky's going to kick your ass though, for knocking me up and leaving me here," She warned him. He sighed.
"You told him?"
"He figured it out. Might have been all the crying…"
"I'm sorry, I should have talked to you."
"I know, and I should not have left you there."
"I'll see you soon I swear," he told, her she nodded. "I love you, Rebecca Rogers."
"I love you too," She said before she saw the communication end. She turned and saw both Shuri and Bucky behind her. "So much for privacy…"
"I heard my name… and Rogers? When did that happen?" He asked.
"You said you wanted to be left alone," She told him. Bucky sighed.
"I guess I did. So the punk made an honest woman out of you? Was that before he… knocked you up?" Bucky asked.
"We have been married for eight months now."
"Before…" He said as a small smile appeared on his lips. "Good for you two," he said honestly, pulling her into another hug.
A few hours later, Rebecca made it back to her room. She sighed. It seemed bigger now… lonelier. She sat down on the couch, seeing one of the books Steve had been reading sitting on the table. She picked it up, flipping through it a little before putting it back down. She heard a beep then, a notification sound. Her curiosity got the better of her as she got up and got her tablet. She opened it, looking at the notification, a new message she received. A message from Steve. She opened it up, seeing a video attached with the words. "I'm sorry for hurting you." She took a breath before she watched the video.
"Hello Becca," Steve said through the screen. She smiled despite the fact he couldn't see her. "I asked Nat to set me up… I just. I just wanted you to know why I left." He said before sighing, looking away from the camera. "These dreams… They always start out different, yet the same. I'm there, surrounded by my friends and family. You. I'm happy. The happiest I've ever been in my life." he stopped, taking a shuddering breath. "Then it's gone. Everyone… everything and I'm alone again. No one's there but the voices in my head. The voices of all my enemies telling me I don't belong… I can't save anyone… that I'll lose… everything." she felt the tears prick her eyes as she watched a tear slip down his cheek when he looked back at the camera.
"When I woke up and realized I hurt you. That I could have killed you…" He told her as another tear slipped down his cheek. "I know it's stupid. Leaving you there, when my greatest fear is being alone," He said wiping his tears. "I just… I couldn't face it. I love you so much, but I can't risk hurting you again. This isn't a goodbye, not by a long shot. I just need some time to get my head on straight. Maybe I'm running away. First time in my life I think I've ever done this, but something… is telling me this is what I need to do," he said before clearing his throat.
"Looks like this will give you some time to get to know your father..." He said with a half smile. "I'm glad you went to him. I hope you get to know him how I knew him," He said before letting out another breath.
"Take care of yourself. I'll be thinking about you and our little one. I love you. And I'll see you soon," He told her before the message clicked off. She wiped the tears she knew were going down her cheek before she messed with the tablet, setting it up to record a message back to him.
"You're being a fucking idiot Steve Rogers, but I understand it. Thank you for letting me know." She said with a smile.
"Take all the time you need…But do not shut me out. Let me know your safe and I will be fine. I love you, and take care of yourself. Come back to us," She told him before she shut the message off, sending it to him.
