(Trigger warning in the bottom notes)
Chapter Seven: Sincerely, But Never Yours
Grant waited impatiently in Hydra's HQ for his assignment. Per Garrett's orders, he was taking a task from Whitehall as well as their personal mission. If Ward suddenly went MIA, people would notice. He could not simply disappear to act on a non-Hydra agenda. As much as he avoided everyone and everyone avoided him, Whitehall still expected to see him around working for Hydra. Anything else would be suspicious.
So there he was, waiting on a mission he did not care about and taking time away from what was actually important. He doubted that apprehending the good doctor Streiten was going to be a challenge, but that was not the point.
Grant sat at the table inside the briefing room with his face a perfect blank mask. To anyone looking, he was simply bored. That was the way he preferred it. If no one knew what he was feeling, they could not use it against him.
He was still glaring at the wall in front of him when the door finally opened. He looked up with casual disinterest before raising his brows in recognition at the attractive, dark-haired woman entering.
"Agent Ward," Agent 33 drawled. She perched on the side of the table right in front of him and met his eyes fearlessly.
"Kara," Ward greeted. She was actually the only person in Hydra he liked besides John. Maybe it was because she was smarter and better than the others. He did not trust anyone but John at his six, but she would be his next choice. Grant liked that she was not afraid of him, too. Bakshi could not even hold his stare.
But Grant also had the sneaking suspicion she was brainwashed. He had never seen any of the trigger words used on her, but he was fairly confident in his assumption. John had once mentioned she was fiercely loyal to SHIELD back before Hydra came out of the shadows. Not a month later, she was Whitehall's most fervent supporter.
Ward briefly wondered what it said about him that the only Hydra colleague he could stand to be around was brainwashed into being there.
Kara was tapping a folder against the side of her leg in some senseless rhythm looking the very picture of ease. She was teasing him, waiting for him to break and ask for his mission.
He said nothing.
Kara smirked. "Well, you're even less fun than usual today." But she handed him the folder anyway.
"Whitehall's got you handing out assignments now?" Grant said while he opened the folder. "What, he can't give Kaminsky a job he might actually be up to?"
Kara's smirk widened into a real smile. "You think Kaminsky could handle talking to you one-on-one after your last mission?" Ward glanced up. "Yeah, I've already heard. Hauer told everyone."
Ward fought the urge to do anything childish like roll his eyes. At least the others were less likely to do anything to irritate him now.
Kara stood up and walked to the door. "Try not to mess this one up this time." At Grant's sharp stare, Kara nodded. "Yes, everyone heard about that, too. The perfect Grant Ward screwing up a mission? Unheard of."
With that, she left him alone with the assignment and his thoughts. He did not care what any of them thought of him, their opinions meant less than nothing in his world. Still, he could not help but frown in annoyance. It was as if everyone could see he was distracted lately.
Ward reviewed the mission parameters meticulously despite how little it mattered. He had nothing to prove to them, but that did not mean he wanted anyone to know how unsettled he was feeling lately. He would make sure this one went without a hitch.
Skye weaved her way through the throngs of people heading home easily. Something about spending her life as the unnoticed, little orphan girl translated into fitting in with crowds. Skye blended in with everyone else because she had always just been one of many, unworthy of attention until she demanded it. As she grew older, Skye became more prone to demanding that attention from having a little too much fun at bars to purposely catching SHIELD's attention with her Rising Tide hacks. Skye had spent many years being no one though, and it was easy to return to when she wanted to.
It was late, the sun was beginning to set casting the pavement in a orange and red glow. Most people had left work by now. The person Skye was waiting on, however, was still cooped up inside his workplace. He was probably the only one left.
She was standing a block away when Dr. Streiten opened his office building door. Finally. She jogged a bit to catch him before he could leave.
"Dr. Streiten!" Skye called. She witnessed the man freeze with his hand still holding the doorknob. Skye was not surprised. It had probably been over a year since he heard that name. Even before Hydra's reveal, the doctor had run away. Simmons had told her that she had tried to reach him when Skye was shot only to be informed that he had "gone off the grid".
It was mildly difficult for Skye to even find him and mildly difficult for Skye track down was pretty impressive. She supposed his experience with SHIELD made him properly paranoid.
Skye could sense Dr. Streiten's panic as he looked prepared to bolt, so she was quick to reassure. Sidling up beside him, she leaned in. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. I really need to speak with you though." Before he could protest, Skye interrupted. "I'm not here to ask you questions about GH-325 or anything. I'm here to protect you."
Dr. Streiten paused, his still hand lightly resting on the doorknob. "Protect me from what? And who are you?"
"My name is Skye. I'm an agent with SHIELD under Director Coulson. We have reason to believe Hydra may target you. They have been digging into Coulson's revival. Some of our scientists were kidnapped to gain information on the drug." Dr. Streiten hesitated. "Please, I want to help you."
He appeared to come to a decision. "Why don't you come inside to my office? We can discuss this further there in private."
Skye smiled brightly hoping to relieve some of the tension still lining his shoulders. "Thank you. That'd be great."
Skye followed Dr. Streiten inside. It was some kind of research center. With his talents, Dr. Streiten probably did not have any trouble securing the job. They stepped into an elevator, and he pressed the button for the tenth floor. The silence was awkward as the elevator slowly climbed upwards. Skye wanted to say something more, but it really was better to just wait until they were out of the open to talk. Plus, Dr. Streiten was sending very defensive vibes her way.
The office was just big enough to fit a desk and three chairs. After he let them in, Dr. Streiten strode straight forward to look out the big office window behind his desk. Skye trailed more unsurely behind him.
"You can have a seat," he said as he gestured towards the chairs across from the desk. Skye sat down and watched as he opened the window. "I need some fresh air for this conversation."
"Thanks." Skye smiled reassuringly even though she wished he would turn back towards her. When he stayed quiet, she decided to get to the point. "I need to take you back to SHIELD with me," Skye began infusing the command with confidence while still trying to take the bite out of the words. He was so nervous she did not want to upset him further.
Dr. Streiten leaned against the windowsill and did not turn around at her words.
"Dr. Streiten?" Skye stood up debating whether or not to approach him. He was so obviously uncomfortable that she did not want to crowd his space.
"It never ends," Dr. Streiten spoke suddenly. He finally turned around and faced her though he did not leave his position leaning against the windowsill.
"What never ends?" Skye asked thrown for a loop. She was becoming increasingly uncomfortable herself. Coulson had warned her that Dr. Streiten had expressed a great deal of guilt and a tendency to run with regards to the GH formula. Coulson had worried that he would flee at the first mention of SHIELD.
Skye was an atypical SHIELD member though and lacked the hardcore agent vibe that almost all the specialists had. Coulson had believed if anyone could put him at ease, it would be Skye.
"This mistake," Dr. Streiten replied passionately. The troubled expression was even more pronounced now. He was gripping the windowsill so tightly that his knuckles had turned white under the pressure. "It's never going away. I have to live with what I've done, for the rest of my life." He took a deep, shuddering breath. "Can't people understand it was a mistake? The drug should have never been created! It's wrong."
Skye felt for the man. He was tearing himself up over his involvement. Skye had seen Coulson's reaction to the memory machine forcing him to remember the operation, how he begged to die. Skye could only imagine how Dr. Streiten had felt as a healer to listen to those pleas. And did he know about the others and the side effects? Did he know about the writing?
"I know," Skye soothed. She wanted to make him feel better, "I'm kind of glad you did though. Coulson found the GH formula and used it to save my life. He knew he could because of his experience."
Skye was trying to lighten the man's burden. Maybe her experience would make him see his past in a new way. Clearly the guilt was wearing him down. As she spoke though, Skye sensed she may have been wrong. He only seemed more agitated by her words. By the end of it, he was nearly shaking.
"No, it's wrong." Dr. Streiten was pushing back, drawing as far away from her as he could, so she began to step closer. Maybe she should just ICE him? It would be a pain to carry the man, and incredibly unsubtle, but talking him down was obviously not working. They needed to move soon, too. "I can't go with you. I can't give you more access to the information. It should never have been done, and it should never be done again."
Skye frowned. "Dr. Streiten, I told you we don't want your information. We're trying to protect you-" He did not believe her. She could tell, and he was shaking his head firmly now.
"I know how to protect the secrets," Dr. Streiten said resigned. "There's only one way."
"Doctor," Skye started confused and more than a little worried now.
"I'm sorry, for thinking I could run away from it. I'm sorry for all that I've done."
Skye realized what he was doing a second too late. "Dr. Streiten, wait!" He ignored her as he threw himself over the windowsill gracelessly and fell ten stories to the ground.
"No!" Skye shouted in horror as she helplessly moved to the edge. Looking down, Skye could see the remains of the poor man on the streets below. People were screaming and crowding around his body.
Not a second after her scream, the office door burst open behind her. She spun around feeling cold and numb. He had just been speaking with her three seconds ago. He killed himself to avoid going with her.
For a second she thought she was imagining Zach breaking down the door and running straight at her. She wanted to react but found herself at a loss.
Fortunately- or unfortunately?- Zach barreled past her to stare down at the chaotic streets and Streiten's body. Then he began cursing to himself and running frantic hands trough his hair.
"What are you doing here?" Skye asked dumbly. She was having trouble focusing her thoughts.
Zach stopped his assault on his hair and looked at her as if suddenly remembering she was right beside him. "The same thing you were doing."
That filled Skye with righteous indignation. They were not the same, he was Hydra. She had come all this way to keep Dr. Streiten from his agency's clutches. "I was trying to protect him!"
"You did a great job then," he said sarcastically cocking his head towards the streets.
All the rage funneled out of her. She felt defeated. Dr. Streiten had been afraid of her. If she had just been better at reassuring Streiten, if she had not brought up her experience, if she had just knocked him out.
Something shifted in Zach's eyes. She must look pathetic if a Hydra agent was staring at her this way.
Skye wanted to appear stronger before him. He was the enemy, and she could not afford to be vulnerable. Instead, she found herself speaking honestly, "It was my fault."
Zach snorted. "Don't be stupid. I was outside for the end of the conversation. You didn't push him, he chose to jump."
"Because of me!" Skye yelled out. It was like she was trying to convince him for some reason.
"He was standing on the edge the whole conversation," Skye wondered how he knew that, "He was always planning on jumping. It didn't matter what you said or did." Skye looked at him. He was speaking so casually, as if they were not discussing the abrupt end of a man's life. Zach shrugged, "Besides, if he hadn't, then I would have gotten him. A few days in Hydra's hands, he'd be wishing he were dead if he were even still alive."
Skye gaped at him. "Solid organization you work for. Must make you proud to be a part of."
Zach just leveled her with a look, "At least I'm honest about who I'm working for. All you SHIELD agents act like you're a gift to mankind and not vigilantes running from international governments and law enforcement."
"We're trying to help people," Skye defended. His remark hit a little too close to home for her. Skye knew logically that SHIELD members were criminals, but sometimes it was hard to face. Most agents did not acknowledge their outlaw status, preferring instead to act as if it were just a temporary condition. Skye knew however that as long as assholes like Senator Ward were in power, nothing would change.
"Then join the CIA," Zach countered nonchalantly.
Skye just glared at him. It was because of Hydra agents like Zach that SHIELD was living in the shadows in the first place. "Well, at least I'm not a member of a Nazi death cult!"
Skye was happy to see she had broken through the blank mask he usually wore. An expression of utter bewilderment took over his face as he stared back at her.
"Nazi death cult?" It was both a repetition and a question somehow. Skye was a little disappointed to see he appeared more confused than enraged. She really wanted to see him lose his cool. Instead, he let out a little laugh of incredulity, which irritated her. "That's how you would describe Hydra?"
Skye stubbornly lifted her chin and gazed at him in defiance even though his hilarity bothered her, "Yeah."
"Must pain you to be constantly losing to a Nazi death cult," Zach retorted.
Skye opened her mouth to insist that SHIELD was not losing to Hydra, but Zach just turned around and started walking away.
"Where are you going?" Skye asked in disbelief at his rudeness. "Don't walk away in the middle of a conversation!"
Zach did not respond. He did not move towards the door either. He was riffling through papers and folders and opening the poor doctor's desk drawers.
"Don't go through Dr. Streiten's stuff," Skye protested. "Respect the man's privacy."
"He's dead," Zac deadpanned. "What does he care for privacy?" He did not even look up as he answered her. Most of his attention was absorbed with what he was reading.
Skye strode over to him. "It's called basic decency." But he was still not looking at her. She tried to snatch the folder away from him in frustration. In response, Zach simply raised the documents up over his head. He smirked down at her confidently. He was tall enough that the only way Skye was going to reach them was if she jumped up and down on her tip toes.
Skye decided that she would rather not look like an idiot in front of him.
After a moment of teasing her, he proceeded to continue his search of the office. She flopped down on the desk chair as she watched him ruffle through everything.
Skye knew that she was definitely not following protocol here. She was sitting, observing a Hydra agent work after watching her target kill himself. There were so many better things she should be doing. She should leave the office if nothing else. If she was not going to kill the enemy or stop him, she could at least go. But she did not move from her position.
She had time. At some point the police would probably arrive to check the office building, but it would take them a while to even realize who had jumped. Skye could still hear the chaos from outside. What she did not hear were sirens or anything to indicate the cops had shown up. SHIELD would not expect her back for a day. She would need to report Streiten's death, but it could wait.
Skye felt unsettled though. She was still a little shaken up from watching Dr. Streiten's die. He had done it to protect the secrets of the GH formula and Project TAHITI. Dr. Streiten gave his life for that.
Maybe Zach was right. Maybe it was not even about what she had said or done. The second Dr. Streiten knew people were after his information, he wanted to ensure that no one could ever get to him. Skye vowed that she would keep the secrets of it out of Hydra's hands, if only for Dr. Streiten. That way maybe she could tell herself his death was not in vain.
Skye closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. She channeled May's training and allowed all the feelings involving Dr. Streiten to float away. She had to keep focus. More importantly, Skye could never allow any strong emotions to overwhelm here nowadays. If she did, her tenuous control on her powers would slip away.
"Are you meditating in a dead guy's office?" A sardonic voice asked. Her eyes shot open to see Zach staring at her with yet another unfathomable expression. He was far closer than Skye realized he had gotten as well. What was with this guy, did he levitate or something? Skye never heard his footsteps, and it was starting to get really annoying.
"No, you're just so boring that you were putting me to sleep," Skye shot back as she stood. He already towered over her, so she figured she should at least not make it worse by sitting down when talking to him. She crossed her arms across her chest in a way that she hoped seemed confident and not defensive.
He just raised an eyebrow. "Didn't realize it was my job to entertain you."
Skye faltered. Without meaning to he had just reminded her of dream from the night before, the one where she imagined just how well he could entertain her that it drove her to wake up sweaty and in need of a cold shower. Her eyes drifted down to take in the strong arms exposed by his short sleeve shirt and the long, nimble fingers.
Zach shifted in front of her and broke her out of her daze. She jerked her gaze up to meet his own. His eyes were narrowed, but he looked more guarded than angry. Skye bit her lip- and then abruptly remembered biting his lip a month ago. Great, now she was staring at his lips.
"Stop," he growled.
Skye looked up, completely embarrassed that he caught her blatantly checking him out, but then paused once she caught his expression. He did not look irritated or even smug, his eyes were heated and his posture restrained all at once.
Skye realized that this doomed attraction went both ways. While she was kicking herself over undressing him with her eyes, he was actively holding himself back from doing the same with her. Clearly though he had better control than she did. But she was testing that perfected self-restraint apparently, which only made her want to push harder and see how much she could get under his skin.
It was only fair considering that he was so thoroughly under hers.
"Stop what?" Skye asked innocently as she stepped forward closer and closed the distance between them.
Zach tensed. Skye could read the indecision on his face on whether to move away, and let her win, or hold his ground, and put himself at risk of losing his cool. He did not say anything, but his eyes were more intense than she had ever seen them.
"You didn't answer my question," Skye whispered as raised her head upwards. They were not touching but their bodies were so close that the electricity that sparked every time they were near was fizzling. Skye stood taller so that her lips were less than an inch away from his.
Every breath he let out puffed across her face. His eyes were hooded and dark, glazed over with the same desire Skye knew was mirrored in hers. Without ever breaking their eye contact, Skye opened her mouth and licked the seam between his lips as if daring him to open his mouth and let her in.
Instead he lurched back quickly as if she had attacked him, much to Skye's disappointment and surprise. He was breathing heavily and defensive as he glared at her from five feet away.
"What the hell kind of game are you playing?" Zach snarled.
Skye wavered. "I wasn't- I'm not-" she stuttered before lamely finishing, "I don't know." She was not sure what she was doing. A half hour ago she was watching horrified as her target killed himself. Fifteen minutes ago she was in an argument over Hydra and SHIELD with the man. And now she was, what? Trying to seduce him? What was wrong with her, why was she acting like this?
Her confusion did not seem to reassure the man, if anything he now looked even more wary. Abruptly he turned and marched out of the office.
"Hey, wait!" Skye called as she followed him. She felt guilty for some reason and did not want to leave things on such a tense and awkward note. He was fast though and sped away down the stairs just as she cleared the office entrance. Forgoing stealth in her desperation, she ran after him. She managed to catch him on the street. They ducked around the corner and away from the growing crime scene.
That reminder of Dr. Streiten only put her more on edge. She forcefully pushed away all the thoughts, she could deal with that later when she was back at HQ.
"Will you stop already?" Skye hissed as she grabbed Zach's arm. She did not want to draw attention to herself and chasing after him was bound to get a look or two. Apparently Zach reached the same conclusion. He darted into an alleyway out of sight.
Skye followed a little unsurely. "Pretty sure they warn people about meeting guys like you in dark alleys."
Zach let out a bark of laughter before reining it in. "Will you stop that?" He was scowling now. Skye was starting to get the feeling that Zach rarely had cause to laugh. He certainly did not seem to know what to do when he did.
"What am I doing now?" Skye asked a little annoyed. Okay, so she was definitely goading him back in the office. But now? It almost appeared as though he was annoyed at her for making him laugh. "What are you trying to say you are the type of person who people are okay to meet in a dark alley? Or are you just allergic to fun?"
Zach answered her questions with some of his own. "What are trying to pull with that little stunt back there?" He glared at her suspiciously, "Are you trying to get me off my guard to kill me?"
Skye gawked at the conclusion he came to. "Wow, no. Talk about paranoid. I don't usually kiss people when I want to kill them."
Zach looked skeptical, and Skye wondered if he did lock lips with people he wanted to cross off. Then she remembered she was one of the people he kissed upon meeting and became uncomfortable. It did not help that she could not answer his question because she did not have a clue as to why she wanted to kiss him in the first place.
It also reminded her that this meeting neither Zach nor she made any attempt at even pretending to fight. No guns were pointed, no fists were raised, no kicks thrown. They had spoken about being SHIELD and Hydra with conflicting missions and yet there was not even a pretense of acting like enemies. She even closed her eyes while alone with him back in the office. That was even more disconcerting than wanting to kiss him. Lust was one thing, trust was another entirely.
Zach pulled himself together and smirked arrogantly. It felt like a front to Skye. "I would hardly call what just happened a kiss," he sneered. "If you want to throw me off my game, you're going to have to try a lot harder."
Skye kind of wanted to "try a lot harder", but Zach did not give her a chance. He was stalking out of the alley.
"Hang on," Skye started to say with an outreached hand before he cut her off.
"No. We're done here." Zach had stopped but was facing away from her towards the now empty streets. Without looking at her, he mumbled so lowly Skye barely heard him. "And stay away from me. It's better for both of us."
He disappeared into the night and left Skye shivering in the cold air alone.
(Trigger warning: Dr. Streiten commits suicide in the middle of the chapter.)
So I don't think I've ever worried about posting a chapter this much. Considering that in canon Ward tried to kill himself multiple times and little is made of it and Dr. Hall planned to die to prevent Gravitonium from falling into the wrong hands, I don't think anything I wrote is out of the norm for AoS. That being said, I would hate to upset anyone.
On a less depressing note, the Skyeward relationship continues to develop. What do people think? I know it seems super slow burn, but they don't have any history in the AU. I promise the good stuff will come soon enough. I introduced Agent 33. I wanted to wait until I saw the Ward/33 dynamic in the show, but it was taking too long. How are the characterizations? Are people liking it?
Thanks as always for everyone who reviewed!
