3| As She Silently Vows
The chirpings of the bird were quite pronounced in the morning hues. Their tune playing like the nightingales under the moonlight. As the sun shimmer its rays, Tsunami is packing her bags fiddling with the inner zipping lines that couldn't hold more than it is worth. Despite the tight struggle she is enduring to push down the stuffed presents, the zippers broke past their surpassed limit and she ended up falling to the ground.
"Ouch..."
She clutched her bottom with a slight twist in her face. Gradually pulling herself up, she helplessly grieved over the mess she needs to pack. Toys of all variation from soft plush to hard dolls. Together, they took more space than all her clothes combined for the past year in the coma.
"Tsu-chan! Is everything okay?"
Peeking from the door frame is Nana with half her head shown as her eyes wandered to Tsunami. Her pretty caramel hues glisten with much joy and her chocolate hair hanging by her shoulders waves in greeting.
"Kaa-san, I'm good."
Tsunami promptly went to pick up all her playthings before stuffing them into the tightly sealed bag once more. She stared at her bulging bag after accomplishing her task, her brows scrunching up. "Kaa-san! Tell tou-san not to buy any more of these stuffed toys."
Nana from the other side puzzled by the frustrated tone in Tsunami's voice could only giddily chuckle. 'It looks like her little girl is all better now. The accident has changed her for the better. Even her once weakened demeanor established in her voice gained strength.'
Once all the preparation were done, the pair departed with their belongings hauled off. From behind, they were being tagged with several unknown males sent for protection. Iemitsu had thoroughly learned of his lesson this time and wished to prevent the following incident to occur again. Those males were sent to go undercover as one of the last measure of protections. However, Tsunami knew from her instinct that some non-malicious people had been following the pair along. Unknown whether they are for the benefit to her side or not, she kept her guard high and her senses on alert.
Hailing a taxi had been the only best thing to do. No sooner, Tsunami and Nana arrived in front of their permanent resident which said Sawada on its front gate. With all the luggage, they hopped back to the inside where Tsunami toured with a peculiar interest.
The house can be quite big for just one family that consisted of just her and her kaa-san. Tsunami had long heard from her kaa-san that her tou-san works in the construction industry and so rarely comes back home. Still, for the only breadwinner of the family, Iemitsu sure earns a lot for being only a construction worker.
As Tsunami continues to the second floor, she finds a small tag hanging on the wooden door that claimed to be Tsunami's room. It was decorated with hearts and many other cutely drawn animals. The recollection of such past memories turned Tsunami's face cold. She walked to the front of the door, tore the tag and raised her arms in an offensive position. All it needed was just the release of her fingers, but her heart hesitated.
Her face glimmered with the thoughts of the two kind parents. From there, she gently laid her arms down, shoulders shaking. Why was she so weak? If only she had been stronger, then Nana and Iemitsu wouldn't suffer. All it takes is a single breath of courage to step out, even I did it...why couldn't she do it? Inhaling a deep breath, she opened the door with her trembling hands and a strong scent of vanilla blasted her face. It was the same scent as Nana, the vanilla scent.
"Kaa-san's vanilla..."
The room is well furnished with plentiful of space and sufficient daily necessities. While it wasn't decorated so prettily, the small arts pasted on the wall were brimming with youth and childish qualities. Tsunami painfully laughed, heart mixed with complicated clashing emotions. She could see, how the young girl held no fault. She could see, how bright the young one could've been had she been alive. But what are the chances when life is given one opportunity...
No, she herself was given two. The second opportunity after her painful hell was over.
Tsunami placed her fingers feeling each paper that had a picture in it. Some colorful, some monochrome. She found that she particularly felt a tearing connection between the past Tsunami and her; they both had an inking talent for the artistic side.
"Sawada Tsunami ah...Sawada Tsunami. What should I do with you?"
Tsunami laid her back against the wall, slumping down as she thought in pain. Her eyes through her view were burning the bright room into a pale orange. Slowly, she sunk herself to sleep.
-xxx-
The blissful dark turned white and Tsunami soon found herself in a white room, everything was consumed of purity. As the golden locks flow with its owner's movements, it suddenly stopped at the white room. Tsunami paused to look at the exterior, there was no door but a single golden knob. She turned the metal and an orange lining blazed the white into a door where she saw the handsome man once more. He was donning the same dress style, extravagant and pleasing to the eye.
"Little girl, you are here?" Giotto looked at the pretty child before him. She was dressed in a white one piece and arrived bare feet in front of him.
"Mr. Soul, why are you here again?" Unlike the last time, this time Tsunami had perfect conscious of herself. She stared at the man sitting on a red king chair. "And where am I?"
Gitto gave a comforting smile, his eyes hinting of guilt. "A sphere within your inner mind. As for the reason why I am here, it seems like a remnant of my soul is found in your flames."
"Flames? What flames? Are you possibly an illusion I created in my dreams?"
"Not quite, but you can say so."
Tsunami nods with understanding as she pauses in silence. She perked her head up even more to face the handsome male. His appearance still striking and his smile extremely relaxed.
"Hey Mr. Soul, Can you tell me about how your life was like before you died?"
Giotto closed his eyes and sunk himself to sleep quietly ignoring the young girl. His life? It had been quite the journey. Sometimes he wondered if he was actually living after death, but could it be possible? He is the Vongola Primo, therefore, he is the ghost to the Vongola lineage. He will forever haunt without peacefully resting and to be honest, it's quite lonely. G, his best friend is gone. Asari has departed to his musical journey in heavens. Knuckle might be with god instead of being with him. Alaude probably is guarding the peaceful lands. Lampo might still be the spoiled kid in his demise and Spade...has long left him behind. Having someone who can talk to him can make a difference. Hearing another's breathing tells him that he had once lived too.
"Mr. Soul?"
Tsunami scanned her gaze around Giotto's body before returning to her own white one-piece dress. The dress slowly emerged designs of thin black patterns as her mind calls for. It seemed like the space is hers to control. After a moment later, the handsome male finally replied. His voice had a bit of tiredness but it was audible for Tsunami to hear the silent curiosity.
"Isn't it proper manners to say your own before asking?"
Ever since the last accident, Giotto wanted to know more about this little girl. He remembered it clearly, the thick aura of negative energies clouding her flames. At the same time, those flames that he felt so familiar to turned like a stranger in a blink of an eye. It wasn't only his hyper intuition that alarmed him of the danger it could bring. It also wasn't just his hyper intuition that told him the black flames were different to those gentle pure orange. He sensed it with his own fighting instinct that it felt similar to Spade's and Vindice's yet it was strongly different.
Tsunami stared at Giotto, after hesitating for a moment, she walked closer to him and willed for a tiny box to appear next to him. A white box emerged according to her wish, and she promptly seated herself side-by-side. "You see, the moment I was born, my life had already been hell."
Giotto opened his eyes revealing his two pairs of sharp amber orbs. He silently listened not interfering, face stilled with softness.
"I was born in a prison cell. Apparently, my mother was charged with a severe felony."
Tsunami smiled faintly out of courtesy and dusted off her white one piece. There was nothing there, but she just wanted to distract her words with some sort of action.
"So my birth wasn't with happy doctors or pretty nurses. It also didn't include the light that one could see out of their mother's womb. Mine involved a solitary confinement with only two military doctors. Shortly after I was born, I was sent to a local orphanage."
As Tsunami slowly recollected her memories, her smile became more pronounced. She remembered her life events as if it was just yesterday. Her days in the orphanage wasn't exactly bad, proper food and shelter were granted. But unlike the other children, she was feared and ostracized because she was birthed by a criminal. She had lived quite the pleasant life by herself until one day she was adopted by a nice wealthy couple. They were her beloved and foremost, her guardian angels.
From rags to riches, that was her story. To not disappoint her parents, she worked hard to gain her image, reputation and even applied for a political marriage to form an alliance between companies. She shone brightly, too bright that it evoked countless jealousy, anger, fear, and countless other tasteless emotions. Rumors of her began to spread and eventually, her past lineage served to drag her from the high top to the former bottom.
Tsunami's smile froze and it slowly started shrinking. "I thought life couldn't be any worse, right? Then one day, I walked home and guess what I found? My parent's corpse."
Giotto's face surprised by her words, flashed his eyes to her. He studied Tsunami's face attempting to read past her facade, but could only find it void of emotions.
"Do you pity me?" Her voice was monotone as though she was interrogating him on his opinion of her story. Tsunami wanted to see how he would react to her story. Would it be a face covered with sentiment expressing grief over her loss? Or perhaps, pity for her to live such a terrible life?
Try as she might, Giotto responded indifferently. "No. I don't sympathize with you."
"I'm surprised, you seem like the kind gentleman." His words caused a tremor in her heart. Like the tidal waves before a Tsunami, she wasn't exactly expecting that answer. Truthfully, she never once felt that she was pitiful. Life may be rough, but she will never see herself as weak. So Tsunami turned her back to face Giotto, not letting him see her shaken.
Giotto then continued in her stead to carry the conversation. "It's actually quite funny, I was dethroned because I was too kind. So, I won't deny that compliment."
"By who?"
"...By a person whom I regard as my brother."
"And you think it is funny?"
Gitto didn't bother to respond but changed the topic. He brought out his fist covered in a black combat glove and clenched it tight. "I believe that a truly kind person would empathize rather than sympathize."
"That's the first..." Tsunami twirled her seated body, her gaze reflecting in the Vongola Primo's sharp orange eyes. "That's the first time someone had said this to me."
"I feel honored."
Tsunami peered at Giotto, she suddenly wanted to know more about this man. The man who gave her such an odd yet exceptionally warm response. He claimed that this place is her inner mind, did she create him to soothe her own pains? Did she need someone to lick her bleeding wounds? The man graced her with his usual kind smiles and she returned with a sincere one. No matter what it is, she felt supported and that was all she needed.
"Tsunami."
"Yes?"
"If you ever want to finish that story of yours, I can always listen."
At his response, her whole body shook. She never finished her story, that is true. There was more to it, more twisted and more detested, the continuation which led her to her own death. Her aura turned cold, donning of an icy expression she reported to the young primo.
"I will keep your words in the back of my mind."
And by the last of her comment, the space around them started distorting. Perhaps she willed for it to occur, that she didn't want to stay with this young lord who could possibly pierce through her deepest secret. The next thing happening was her blurred vision of the childish room.
She was back. Back to the room that once lived the dead Tsunami.
Brushing her golden streaks with her pale ivory arm, she stared at the white ceiling. She needed some time to recover from the words that the man had thrown at her. How did he know? For such a warm man, his eyes gave her fear. No, if he knew what happened next, there will be horror or even disdain. She hated those looks, it was the perfect look to get her to lose control.
Clutching her hands tight, she embraced herself to head back downstairs. The only one that can possibly calm her unhinged emotions is the soothing scent of that woman. So Tsunami picked her legs and unhurriedly walked out not knowing that the clean wooden flooring had accidentally been scorched by her black destructive flames. The mark may not be strong, but neither was it faint.
-xxx-
Heading downstairs, Tsunami saw Nana preparing for dinner. The meal was not only freshly cooked but also welcoming. It warmed the aggravated heart that Tsunami had. To her, it might have actually been the first to experience such a warm greeting. Not even her past foster parents had given her such a thing.
"Kaa-san!"
Upon hearing the lively yet sweet voice, Nana flicked her head to her dear Tsu-chan and smiled proudly.
"Come sit, dinner is almost ready." Nana's voice since the beginning has always been comforting. Her vanilla scent still sticking close to her body gradually began drifting to Tsunami. It made Tsunami feel as though she was never a stranger, she felt stirred.
"Kaa-san, can you tell me something about myself?"
Tsunami thought, if she were to live in this body, she might as well learn about her own history. Be it bad or good, she will face them all.
Nana handed a fresh bowl of rice accompanied with several dishes of meat. As she worked her magic, her mouth moved once more.
"Tsu-chan ne~ is pretty below average." Her words can be pretty frank and while it was not directed towards the current Tsunami, she felt pricked by it.
"You would always get last in everything!" Her tone quite cheerful as she explained.
"So I guess your Tsu-chan is first in being a dame."
After clearing the stove, Nana returned to Tsunami and seated herself directly in front. Her sparkling eyes reflecting into Tsunami's calm resilient one. Nana chuckled for a moment and repeated Tsunami's words.
"Yes, my precious Tsu-chan is first being a dame. And that person is you."
Tsunami feeling a bit abrupt at the alleged accusation, she began coughing. Nana rushed to grab a glass of water and thrust it to Tsunami's hand. Her face a bit beet red but quickly settled to the normal skin complexion.
"Kaa-san, that's a bit too frank."
Nana laughed it off and returned once more to her seat. "It's all the truth."
Suddenly, Tsunami felt a bit of compassion for the old Tsunami. Would she feel hurt by her own biological mother's words? Brushing the thought away, Tsunami decided to change the topic.
"Kaa-san, then can you tell me about my name? I find it peculiar."
Nana sighed and grabbed a piece of meat from the plate. As she ate, she lamented. To be honest, she thought the name was no good too. Tsunami had been one of the main occurrences of natural disasters in Japan. Naming her daughter this word is like cursing her daughter as a demon.
"It's all your tou-san's fault. He said that the character tsu is 津 as in harbor, na is 七 as in seven and mi is 海 as in the sea. The full name Tsunami technically means the harbor within the seven seas. He hoped that you will forever be the shelter to the raging seas and will be able to protect as fiercely as a Tsunami can claim lives."
Tsunami felt as though her tou-san is not only cute but humorous. As she finished the last bite of her meal, she took the dishes and began to wash them.
"My, Tsu-chan! You are cleaning after yourself?"
Tsunami turned rigid at Nana's comment. "Did your Tsu-chan not clean after herself?"
"Of course not! I always clean after you." Nana laughed once more in joy. Ever since the incident, her Tsu-chan had changed in many aspects. Nana felt as though her Tsu-chan has matured. Delighted by her own thoughts, Nana laid her head on the table as one of her arms cushioned it.
"Tsu-chan, thank you." Her tone much softer than the usual.
"Hm? On what?" The clanking noises of the porcelain echoed in the background.
"For staying alive. For maturing. Your tou-san said that the character tsu (津) was modeled after me. That I will always be the permanent home where you guys will go back to. In reality, I feel that Tsu-chan is my permanent home." Nana slowly closed her eyes, sinking herself into her own thoughts. She feels as though she had been blessed by many things. Her charming Italian husband, her beautiful mixed daughter, and their lovely peaceful home. If everything could remain as it is...
Then it would be perfect.
Tsunami turned around to look at Nana. Her smile that is guilty yet thankful. She never asked for much, all she ever wanted was parental love. Two lifetimes she had been granted, but this time she doesn't want it to be destroyed. Humans are selfish and Tsunami couldn't be of an exception. She is guilty that she had taken someone's identity but she is happy that she is able to meet the Sawada family. Was it fated or perhaps destined? Afterall, those two words are different despite being the same.
Cleaning the remaining dishes, Tsunami dried the countertop and left upstairs. The second she appeared was with the blankets found in the old Tsunami's room. After covering Nana's body with it, she brushed Nana's hair away slightly. Carefully observing her new mother's face, she laid a gentle kiss on her cheeks.
She wishes that she was the actual Tsunami who had been born in this household. Perhaps, she wouldn't feel such guilt when thinking someone had to die for her to live. But even so, she feels bitterly glad that she and Tsunami died. Even if it's her being selfish, let her be selfish just this once. In exchange, she will avenge Tsunami in her stead. In exchange...she will live this life better.
This simple wish is something she wants to desperately pertain to and she will do anything to keep it the way it is. Even if it means for her to enter the darkness again...
It has only been a day of publishing the story, yet, I feel touched by how well received it had been. I want to formally thank animecuttylover for leaving a review on every chapter that I had published. Your reviews made me feel connected to you as the reader and I will try my best to correspond to it. Like you said, leaving a review can actually help to revive a story. In this case, it gave me a bit of inspiration and a push.
Thank you to all those who followed my story and most importantly, I thank those who have favorited Fiamma's Heart.
Tsunami (津七海) is the direct translation using kanji from Japanese and characters from Chinese words. Each character has their own meaning and I interpreted the name to be the harbor of the seven seas. More details about the name will be given in further chapters.
Interesting fact: When I decided to name my OC Tsunami, I thought it was a sin to be too creative. I mean, who would name their character Tsunami as in the seismic waves that are so destructive? Yea... I learned to be more humble since I realized I wasn't the only one. I have only read a handful of Katekyo Hitman Reborn fanfics with Tsuna being female and with names other than Tsunami. So forgive me for being conceited, authors who also gave their character's the same name...
It is encouraging to have people who will love this story as much as I do. I treat my character as if she were living and breathing, so I would think if I was her, how could I interpret it better? Anyways, until the next time! If you have love, please share~~
