Just Another Lorelai Gilmore
Disclaimer: I do not own Gilmore Girls nor any of the affiliated characters/ references.
Chapter 23.
Five hours. That's how long it had been since I sent the text to jess, "Huntzbergers are taken care of, phew!" I had sent the text with enthusiasm, glad that Mitchum wasn't going to be a problem in my life. I wasn't thrilled that my child's biological father was out of the picture, but I was relieved not to worry about custody battles and so forth. So why hadn't Jess gotten back to me yet? Now a sinking feeling had replaced my joy.
I looked over at the alarm clock on my nightstand, a little past 8 o'clock, so he should've had some time by now to respond. I picked my phone up and checked again, as if I could have missed the notification tone in the silence of my room. Laying down on my side, I propped open a book and tried to concentrate on some reading.
I heard the front door open and close, eager to vent to my mom I sat up to go talk to her. Before I could even get off the bed my bedroom door flew open. "Sophia Payton MARIANO!" Jess yelled angrily from the doorway. "Mariano! As in MY last name, as in thats my kid too in there, and you just… you just take off and start discussing her life and future with them, without me!" He started pacing my room, his face turning red with frustration. "I don't get it Rory. Are we going to be like this forever? Is there always going to be a line drawn between our lives? Why do you feel the need to cut me out of stuff, or to feel like I cant handle something?! You're almost seven months pregnant and I've yet to bail. Ive yet to freak out, or-or back off. Im doing everything right this time, I'm stepping up for you and for this baby. I deserved to be with you when you decided whatever the hell it is you and the Huntzbergers decided on."
"Jess, im-" i stood up and walked over to him, but he held his arms up away from me as I reached out.
"No, you don't get to say sorry or try to calm me down. Was it a phone call? Did you meet up with them? What was it? What did I miss out on?" The room fell silent, as I wasn't sure he actually wanted me to answer. But he raised his eyebrows expectantly so I cleared my throat.
"I met up with them, Logan and Mitchum. Logan's out of the picture, legally and emotionally, its done." I sat back down on the bed, wracked with emotions.
"i thought- I thought we were going to be a family. A real family, but it doesn't seem like that when you go around making these meetings without me. I mean, I'm going to be her dad, or that was the plan. You keep asking me if I'm all in, if I'm going to stick around, if this is the long haul for me. But you know what Rory, its not my actions that need to be questioned. I've been here! Maybe I should start asking you if this is what you want. Cause I don't know anymore. And I'm not going to stand here and play house until you decide you made a mistake."
I stared at Jess as he huffed in front of me. And then he left, and I didn't go after him. I curled up on my bed and held my growing stomach as I cried, feeling sorry for myself. But I knew he was right, I knew it the moment I decided not to tell him about the meeting in the first place. I knew it when my mom repeatedly asked me if she should call Jess for me. Back in high school, everyone assured me I was too good for Jess, that he was a little hoodlum who couldn't know a good thing if it hit him in the head. I don't know that was ever true, but I do know in this moment, he's too good for me. I've yet again let him down and mistreated him.
Maybe Lorelai's are meant to raise their girls this way. Maybe Lorelai's just do it alone. One thing is for sure, I'm glad I did not give my daughter this name. I picked up my phone and dialed Jess' number, but I never hit the call button. I just stared at the numbers. What would I say to him? Sorry isn't even enough right now. Should I let him cool off before contacting him? Was him leaving right now… him leaving for good? Tears slid down my cheeks, Sophia gave a painful kick to my stomach. "Ouch!" I rubbed my stomach, another painful thump. "Look, mommy's sorry for- ow!" I stopped mid sentence as this one took my breath away. "Okay, this, this is not a kick. Agh!" I slid to the edge of the bed and sat up. About ten minutes passed and I felt another pain, along with my stomach tightening. "Ok, not good. Alright Rory, just breathe and get your phone and call your mom." I talked aloud to myself as I dialed mom/s number. I listened as it rang and rang. Voicemail. "Damnit."
I pulled on some shoes and sat on the bed, practicing slow breathing. "This is not labor, you aren't eve seven months." Another pain came and passed. "Not labor." I whispered to myself. I picked up my car keys and left. Better safe than sorry, I thought as I started my car and headed to the hospital. The closest hospital was about 15-20 minutes away, and I had a couple more episodes of tightening and pain before i got there.
"What are you here for?" The nurse asked as I signed the check in sheet.
"I'm just about 27 weeks, with pain and tightening in my abdomen." I gave her back the clipord after filling my information.
"All pregnancies past viability are to report directly to labor and delivery." She pointed me in the direction and handed me back my paperwork. While walking to the elevator I called mom and Jess about 4 times each, no answers. I stepped onto the elevator, shaking as it took me up to the L&D ward.
Within half an hour I was placed in a bed for monitoring. I kept calling and calling, I hadn't left a message yet, as I didn't want to worry them without any information. "Hi, I'm Shirley, I'll be your nurse for the evening. I'm going to take your vitals again before the doctor gets in, which shouldn't be too much longer." She wrapped the blood pressure cuff around my arm. "So is this your first baby?" I nodded nervously, still unsure of what was happening. "Well it could be anything from the baby rolling, to Braxton hicks. Just try to relax, do some breathing exercises, and I'll be sure to have the doctor stop in here as soon as he's done with the previous patient, ok sweetie?"
I thanked her as she finished my vitals and she left the room. I laid there, waiting for my phone to ring. Waiting for the doctor to come in. The room was quiet except for the fetal monitor and my own. Another pain came over me, I took a deep breath and let it out slow. Once it was over I picked up me phone to try my mom and Jess again. It was dead. Furiously I pressed the power button, only to have the charge symbol flash dimly across the screen. "Seriously?!"
"Rory Gilmore?" There was a knock and the door opened. "Hi, I'm Dr. Lin, I'm the on call doctor for the evening. Let's take a look and see whats going on with baby girl here." Shirley came to my side, explaining she was going to take some blood before the doctor did the examination.
"Alright, so go ahead and bring your legs up and then drop your knees to either side of you to form a diamond shape with your legs." i did as he said and took a deep breath. "I'm going to check your cervix because our fetal monitor is showing that you're having some contractions."
I couldn't help but cry, this was painful and scary. "Wh-what does this mean? Am I in labor?"
Dr. Lin finished the exam, pulling his gloves off and throwing them away. So you are about 2 cm dilated, which wouldn't be a huge concern, except its accompanied by the contractions. They are getting closer together, and thats not really what we want to see this early on. You still have your water in tact, we're going to keep you on the monitor and check every half hour to see how those contractions are doing." I let out a sob into my hands and cried. "The good news is, you came in. So we can help stop labor if thats the direction this goes."
He left and the nurse Shirley stayed behind to get me fresh water and mark in my chart. "Could you, would you please get me a phonebook? My phone died and I never got ahold of my mom or boyfriend."
"Oh of course hun, or if you want to tell me where to call I can make the call for you." I gave her the name of the Inn and address and she left to go call for me.
I laid in the bed, listening to Sophia's heartbeat play throughout the room. "Please stay in a little longer baby girl, I need you."
An hour or so had passed, Shirley and the doctor has seen me again twice, checking my dilation and contractions. "Ok Rory, we are going to give you some medication to slow these contractions down. I'll be right back in and we can get that started."
Shirley came up to me and. Held my hand as it shook in fear. "I finally got ahold of your mom, she's on her way and she said she's trying to get ahold of your boyfriend too, ok?" I nodded, but stayed quiet. "You've done everything right as a mom, so you just let us worry about the rest. We are going to take care of you two." With one last reassuring squeeze to my hand, she let go and left the room.
—Lorelai's POV—
With my cell phone still glued to my ear, Jess' voicemail playing once again, I frantically searched the hallway for the room number the nurse had given me. "Jess, hi, Lorelai again. Call me back, like yesterday. It's important!" I shoved the phone down into my purse and tried to compose myself before walking into Rory's room. If I stay calm, I wont upset her anymore than she probably already is. The door creaked quietly as I opened it. "Room service." I smiled brightly at her, hoping to get one in return.
"Mom!" I succeeded in her giving me a small smile, even though it was partnered with tears. "I'm so glad you're finally here."
"Oh sweets, I'm so sorry I didn't have my cell on me earlier." I sat on the edge of her bed and hugged her tight. "So whats the update, whats going on?" I listened quietly as she explained the contractions and pain and slight dilation. "And the meds are going to keep you from going into full blown labor?"
She nodded her head and rubbed her eyes in exhaustion. "Did you get ahold of Jess?" I shook my head and grabbed her hand thoughtfully. "He's probably avoiding us, thinking we're trying to get him to forgive me…" Her voice trailed off and she gave a small sniff, wiping away a tear with her finger. "He knows I met with Mitchum and Logan."
"Didnt take it well, I'm guessing?"
She threw her head back onto her pillow and rubbed her head. "He stormed into the house, yelling about how I'm acting like I'm the one who's not committed to this relationship. Upset that I made a decision about Sophia's life without him there." She half rolled her eyes. "And he's not even wrong! I AM doing these things. God, Jess has been so good to me and this kid and I just treat him like trash with my actions. He was still pissed when he left, and I don't know if him leaving was for good or just to cool off."
I couldn't blame him for being mad, but I could blame him for just leaving her wandering about their future. Or maybe I was just feeling protective because now my daughter is lying in a hospital bed without her guy by her side. "Hun, I don't think he's gone for good. He's probably moping at the bridge, smoking a cigarette, trying to look cool and failing. I'm sure he will call me back when he checks his phone, and he will be down here in a heartbeat." I cuddled up next to her the best I could, wanting to help in any way.
—Jess' POV—
I flicked my cigarette, watching the lit cherry fall to the bridge. I quit smoking a couple years ago, so now I'm pissed at myself for even finishing this one half through. Taking a deep breath, I looked around, let out a stupid laugh thinking about the time I got beaked by a swan. That shit head swan was the beginning of the end for me and Rory. Or maybe it just brought on the inevitable end that we hadn't seen coming, yet. Reaching into my pocket, i felt around for my phone to check the time. "Damn." I patted down my pants when I couldn't feel it. Probably left it in Philly before leaving and never even noticed.
I stood up, brushed the ash off my pant leg, and started back into town. It was almost 11 now, and I couldn't decide if I should crash somewhere or just catch a late train or bus back home. My mind wandered back to Rory. I still felt heated about how she handled all of this, but I didn't like just walking out on her like I did. Maybe I would just stop by and make sure she's sleeping, and not awake and upset.
As I approached the house, only Luke's truck was out front. I noticed his figure racing around the house inside against the lighting. Suddenly, the front door ripped open and his eyes got wide when he saw me. "And just where the hell have you been? Don't you know how to use that stupid phone of yours, you little punk?! When people call you five, ten, TWENTY times, its probably more important than whatever the hell you're doing!"
I stopped walking and glared at him. "Geez uncle Luke, what's got your panties in a bunch? Sorry I missed curfew."
"This isn't time for your little games Jess. Rory is in the hospital. We have to go, now! We've all been calling you for hours!" My heart dropped. I did this. I upset her, and now whatever is wrong is my fault. Once again, the infamous hoodlum screws things up. I didn't say anything back to Luke, I just hopped in the truck and we took off in silence.
It was the longest fifteen minute ride of my life. We were almost to the entrance, when I stopped walking. "Is it the baby Luke?" As I looked at him, I'm sure he could see all my fear in my eyes. In that moment, I don't think any dad could keep it cool and tough, not knowing what was wrong with their kid. "Are th-… are they going to be alright?"
He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze. "Let's go find out." I nodded at him and we continued into the hospital. We were given directions to Rory's room, and walked as fast as we could while Luke kept his head down. "ah geez." Coming from him every two seconds.
"Seriously man, you gotta tough it up." I chuckled for a second, watching him freak out at every patient, blood or no blood. And then we were standing at Rory's door. I stopped abruptly, and looked to Luke.
"You gotta tough it up." He gave a sad smile and opened the door, letting me go in first.
Walking in, I saw Lorelai sitting in a chair flipping through a magazine. She looked up and smiled at me. Rory was asleep in the hospital bed. I focused on her face, not wanting to look down at her stomach yet. I don't know what I would do if her bump wasn't there anymore. Slowly, I made my way to her bedside and pulled up a chair. Luke and Lorelai excused themselves to leave me with her alone.
With a shaky hand, I reached up and grabbed hers. My thumb gently caressing her fingers. I inhaled deeply, laying my hand on her abdomen. Sophia was still there, and gave a small thud to my hand. "i started having contractions… pretty intense and a little too regular for only six and a half months."
My eyes shot up, relieved to see her blue ones staring back at me. "I'm sorry I just took off, I didn't mean to cause… any of this." My voice was a hoarse whisper, emotions clouding my words.
"You didn't." She laced her fingers within mine and held on tight. "If this was brought on by stress, then I did it myself by not being mature enough to commit to us properly. But the truth is, they don't know why it happened, so lets not place any blame."
"How is she… is she going to be ok?" Iw watched as Rory nodded, a little uncertainty remained on her face though.
"They stopped the contractions for now. I'll most likely be on bed rest for a while when they let me out." She rubbed her stomach and then looked back up at me. "I called you right as I came to the hospital, I didn't wait."
"I know, I left my damn phone back home. I'm so sorry, if I had known, I would've came right away. Pissed or not, I would've been here. I hope you know that." Rory bit down on her lip, my guess is because she didn't know that, and was now feeling guilty for doubting me again. "I know we had that huge fight but I wasn't walking out on you. I needed time after saying those things, to calm down. I'm not going anywhere, but I do want to be involved in it all. Especially when it comes to Logan and his dumbass family. If I'm here as her dad then I should get to know what goes on with her biological father. You're not doing this alone, Logan walked away but this baby has a dad. You guys have me." Her eyes were filled with tears, I leaned in and kissed her lips as they trembled. "I love you guys, Gilmore. Stop being scared of that."
— I've already started the next chapter so it will be up soon as well. I apologize for the hiatus, if fan fiction paid like my graveyard shifts, maybe I wouldn't be working so much and be so tired lol. I understand if you've stopped following the story, but I will be putting out the rest of the chapters anyway! I need to finish this! Thanks for reading :)
