2
Cait stayed awake longer than she wanted because she was watching her sister lay on her back as she slept. Was this how a mother felt? Hell, hers wasn't all that right in the head, so she didn't have a reference point for worry like that.
Watching her sister go through late stage crushes on a man that was considerably out of her league was a little scary at first. At first it was cute, seeing her sister watch Fergal like a hawk. As she laid in bed watching her sister sleep, she thought back to the time they first met Fergal, well, when Dottie first met him.
He'd stopped by to ask about a shirt design and Dottie was sewing something on someone's ring attire. Cait hadn't been there but Dottie was there by herself. Pretty much from the moment Dottie saw Fergal she had been smitten, hell he was the first one she talked to.
Fergal got her to speak when Cait couldn't at the time. He talked to her like a real person, not some mentally retarded woman that a lot of the other people did when first realizing Dottie wasn't normal. Fergal was the first to touch her without her jerking away. Now she accepted hugs from Colby, even letting the weasely Ziggler touch her. But it was Fergal who had been just about her first everything when it came to Dottie.
Cait felt a hand on her arm. "Cait, Cait, shut your phone off." Dottie said from next to her bed. "It's too loud. I can't hear my show."
Reaching over, Cait slapped a hand on her phone. "Sorry."
Dottie walked back to her bed and sat down, crossing her legs and leaning on her knees to continue watching something on the television. Animals, it had to be animals. Shark Week from the looks of what was being shown.
Cait got up and used the nearby bathroom to get ready. There was about an hour before she and the guys would meet up. Knowing Fergal, he would be there ahead of time.
"We're going to be hanging out with Colby today." Cait said. "So we need to start getting ready to go. He'll be coming with us to the house shows."
"Okay." Dottie reached over, grabbed the remote and turned off the television.
She got ready. Much like a lot of others who were autistic, fashion didn't make sense to them. Dottie dressed casually, almost androgynous, jeans and a tee shirt. She brushed her red hair into a ponytail and that was it. Cait decided to take some extra time to apply some eyeshadow and lip gloss while putting on a nicer blouse with some slacks.
"Why are you dressing up?" Dottie asked as she looked at her.
Cait shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like it. Sometimes people just do things off the cuff and I wanted to wear some makeup."
She put her stuff away and knew they would be back so packing up their traveling suitcases wasn't going to happen. Dottie had already packed her over night bag, the bag that had all her sleepwear and toiletries. Dottie just sat on the bed waiting to go, like she would usually do. She hadn't really found something to focus on, to have on the road besides work so she just waited for what was to come.
A knock on the door brought the sisters out of their quiet.
"Can you get it, Dottie?" Cait asked as she rummaged through her purse.
She did. Cait heard, "Good morning, Dottie," from Fergal and then a grunt from Dottie. "Don't be like that, Lovely." Fergal added.
"Lovely?" Cait looked at him.
He rubbed the back of his head. "Yeah, something I just started. Me Granny called all of us kids that. Sort of stuck."
"Cute." Cait mumbled as she went back to looking for her wallet.
Dottie moved away from him, arms crossed and refusing to look at Fergal. She went to the window and looked out. Her arms were crossed and her fingers dug into her flesh, but it wasn't as hard the day she freaked out on Fergal.
"Dottie, I wish you would stop that." Cait sighed. "She may still be scared."
"I just wish it wasn't of me."
"Are we having a convention?" Colby asked from the open door. "Hey, Man."
"Hey. How's it going?"
"Good." Colby smiled at her. "Heya, Cait. You look really good."
She ran her hand through her hair. "Thanks. We're almost ready. Dot, Colby is here."
"Hi." She said, her back still to them.
"Can I get a good morning hug?" Colby asked.
"I don't feel like it."
"It's good to hear your voice again, Dottie." Fergal said.
She didn't respond to him.
"Dottie, you're going to have to deal with Fergal being here. I asked him because I want him to know our lives. We're going to see Mom today."
Dottie spun around. "No. Not Mom."
"I know, I know." Cait walked up to her sister and put her hands up. "Listen, if they just understand where we came from things will be easier for them to deal with. Okay? You don't have to talk to her, we won't be there for long, okay?"
"It's going to be okay, Dottie." Colby said. "I promise, I won't make fun of you. And when we head through Iowa, I'll introduce you to my own screwed up family."
She wiped at her eye. "Promise?"
"Yeah, I promise."
Fergal, who hadn't touched Dottie since her freak out a few weeks prior when finding out that he had a girlfriend, walked up. She made brief eye contact, her lower lip being bitten between her teeth.
"I'm sorry you got hurt." She said, looking down.
He smiled. "Thank you, Dottie. That means a lot coming from you."
"Come on, guys, let's get out of here. Today is going to be stressful." Cait told them as she pulled at her hair before grabbing her purse.
Fergal and Dottie sat in the backseat of Colby's rental on opposite sides of each other. Cait was riding shotgun and Colby was driving. They were going to a place before their mother's place. It was outside of the city limits, in the countryside. It was summer, it was sunny and it was a nice day but the closer they got to the tree lined property, the worst Dottie rocked in her seat.
"Can I hold your hand, Dottie? Will that be better?" Fergal asked.
Cait turned around in time to see Dottie reach across the seat and take Fergal's hand in hers. Colby's did the same exact thing with Cait's, drawing her attention to him. From the side, Cait saw Colby smiling as he drove with basically his thumb.
"Turn here, in this drive." She pointed.
The big sign was New York State Asylum, or just The Facility to her and Dottie. It was a place for people with mental problems went when they had nowhere else or anyone else to take care of them.
Dottie stayed rooted in her seat until Colby rolled down the window at Cait's suggestion. The familiar sounds of quiet outside the place was everything that Cait remembered any time she went to visit Dottie, when their mother thought that she was a lost cause.
A figure approached. "Well Ms. O'Connor, so glad to see you again." Tabitha Perkins, a rotund black woman wearing a white and blue uniform indicating her employment with the facility, said with a thick southern accent.
"Hi, Ms. Perkins." Cait greeted as she started to get out.
When Colby got out as did Fergal, but not Dottie, the woman smiled. "Making friends already?"
"It was a rough start, but yeah. I figured it was best for them to know a little about our lives here before going to see our mother."
Ms. Perkins leaned over to look in the backseat. "Hello, Ms. Dottie. It's good to see you again."
She continued to rock slightly. Though it wasn't as bad as before, the rocking was her ability to cope with coming back to the bad place again.
"You've gotten a lot better. It's not every day you touch someone." Ms. Perkins leaned against the open window. "Would you like to go see the chickens again?"
"I guess." She opened the door and Ms. Perkins stepped back so that she could get out.
"Who's your friends, Ms. Dottie?" The nurse asked.
"That's Colby Lopez and he's Fergal Devitt. He's Irish." Dottie turned and watched Fergal come to stand with her. "They're supportive of me."
"It's always good to have friends."
"Sometimes." She replied.
"We've had some bumps along the way, but I'm trying to smooth them over with her." Fergal explained.
"As long as you are willing to stick with her, then you won't have a problem from me. Now, let's go for a walk. It's a nice day today."
Dottie walked ahead, and Fergal was there at her side, holding her hand. Though Dottie still looked a little stiff with Fergal being there, Cait knew it would disappear the longer they were there.
Ms. Perkins smiled. "She's doing and saying stuff she normally wouldn't."
"When I brought her on the road with me she didn't, not until Fergal became her friend. Unfortunately something happened recently where she's been afraid of him, and not because of something he did."
"What? Did one of those men touch her?"
"No. Fergal hurt his tailbone and his girlfriend showed Dottie some rather unflattering pics of his ass." Cait sighed. "Before that she had the largest crush on him."
"Oh no."
"Yeah, and finding out he was dating someone and he only liked Dottie as a friend hurt beyond belief for her. She still has a thing for him but seeing a different side about him scared her."
Ms. Perkins closed her eyes and tilted her head skyward. After that pause she sighed.
"But, she's slowly coming back from that place. She has another friend, Drew McIntyre is a wrestler, whose wife works with autistic children so he's become her protector and friend. He just couldn't come with us today." Cait said.
Cait felt Colby's hand on her back and she looked at him. He smiled, nodded but said nothing. He understood, he just knew.
They followed Dottie and Fergal up the front steps of the Asylum. Dottie couldn't rock so she twisted her right wrist at her side with a fist. Sometimes she would hit her hip but not hard enough to hurt herself. It was an action that Cait hadn't seen in a long time.
"Dottie?" Fergal turned to her.
"I don't want to go in. I'm scared." She said in that child like voice she was good at.
"You're not going to stay, we're just visiting." Fergal rubbed her arm. "Just hold my hand. You know you should never be afraid while I'm here."
Cait caught the smile on Ms. Perkins' face as she looked at the two of them. Colby was smiling as well.
"Just hold me hand." Fergal linked his fingers with hers.
Ms. Perkins let them inside the main hall of the Asylum. The sound was loud, people, a lot of them were there. Fergal was there to catch Dottie to keep her from turning and running away. Her hands were over her ears, her face pressed into his shoulder and his arms were around her.
"Shh, shh," Fergal said. "I got ya, Dottie, Lovely."
They stayed like that for a while.
"We've been working on her touching people." Cait explained when seeing Ms. Perkins' astounded look. "Fergal was the first person to touch her, to hug her."
"I've been getting hugs any chance I get." Colby added. "I'm trying to get her used to the sounds of the crowd, having her wait outside the curtain for my performances."
Seeing Fergal holding Dottie again, it warmed the center of Cait's chest. She couldn't help but smile when Dottie's hands lowered and saw her breathing was better.
"See, there. Take deep breaths." Fergal pushed some of her hair back as he looked down at her.
She took a few more deep breaths and stepped back from him. "I'll show you the sewing room." She grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and tugged on him.
"At your speed, Lovely."
Ms. Perkins tilted her head. "Are you sure he is just a friend?" She asked that as they followed behind Dottie and Fergal.
"Honestly, I don't know. I do think he cares for her a lot but I don't know if its a romantic one."
There was a room on the second floor, the second floor wasn't as loud as the first floor. This was where a lot of the classrooms were located. One room in particular was where Dottie got her skills with sewing.
"I learned to sew in this room." She stood outside the door, looking in. There weren't anyone in there at the time. "I guess it did me some good."
"Back when Dottie didn't talk, we had to figure out something that she could do. She had a natural gift with sewing." Ms. Perkins said. "We'd have to pry her away from her number fourteen station for meal times and sleep."
"I bet you could make anything if you tried." Fergal said.
"You try getting our mother's voice out of your head. You'll understand why she only just fixes tears and not make clothes." Cait grumbled.
"The housing has gotten a little better. A lot of those who were diagnosed as autisitic were moved to a facility that the State Government set up for them." Ms. Perkins said. "Your old room is less crowded."
The creme and blue colored walls permiated everywhere in the building. The colors were supposed to be calming, which for the most part they were. They passed a few nurses and oderlies, whom Dottie steered well away from, as they walked up to the third floor. The noise level was worse up there than on the second floor. This was where the patients stayed, where the housing was.
Dottie switched hands with Fergal. Instead of her left hand in his right, she held his right with her right and held onto his arm. She pressed one ear into his shoulder to keep the sounds of people and probably the memories at bay the further they walked along the main hall.
"I can see where Dottie has people problems." Colby said.
"It was a lot worse after the incident happened." Ms. Perkins said.
Fergal heard that, he looked back at the nurse. He didn't have to ask what happened, after Cait's blow up at his girlfriend he already knew what incident Ms. Perkins was talking about.
"They made rooms a lot better, no more stupid bunk beds like it was a camp or something. There are more staff for the patients now than it had been back then."
"How did you find out what happened with Dottie, if you don't mind me asking." Colby said.
"I walked in on it happening in a closet. He'd take patients there because nurses didn't deal with the closet." She said in a sombre tone.
Fergal pulled Dottie even closer to him, if that was possible. He said something to her and she nodded. Whatever it was made her look at him.
"She's got a great support team." Ms. Perkins said.
"Yeah, I know. We're going to be seeing our mom after this." Cait told the nurse.
"Good luck."
"Did she ever come to visit Dottie?" Colby asked.
"No, it was only me that did. With Dottie being older than me I had to ride a bus to get out here just to see her. Or I would ride my bike, when I was old enough to drive I would do it that way." Cait said.
"When did Dottie come here? You're talking about all the times she didn't talk..." Colby looked at Cait and Ms. Perkins.
"She was eighteen. I was about fifteen at the time. Mom claimed that she couldn't deal with Dottie anymore so she had her committed. She stopped talking around then, even if I came to visit."
"So we had to work extra hard." Ms. Perkins said.
"And it was just this year that she got out?"
"Yes, unfortunately. She didn't talk for like twelve years." Cait said. "Until Fergal got her to talk."
And she was back in the place where she had reverted to a child in an adult body. But looking at her sister as she stood with Fergal, whose arm was securely around her, she was different. She was talking, something her mother had claimed would never happen. Dottie was touching people, another thing that Cait herself hadn't been able to do. But now she was doing all the things a lot of people, their mother included, claimed she wouldn't do.
Eventually, Cait knew, that facing their mother was the most important task of the day.
