CHAPTER FIVE

if I get one more pm saying "you don't know how Elsa is feeling stop acting like you know what depression/cutting is like" I swear to god I'll delete this whole bloody story. Like can you stop? Also I'd like to thank again everyone who reviews. A special thanks to Mahn and snowman (guest) your reviews had me so happy and I love them so much. Snowman, yours was so detailed and oh my god I was screaming and Mahn, you reviewed right as I was finishing this chapter and your so so amazing! You are beautiful trust me, not any of the things you said, if you ever want to talk message me :)

Sorry for the long Authors note!


"She planned ahead for a year, he said, "Let's play it by ear."

When Elsa woke up she was laying on her couch, her arms were tightly bandaged and lay at her sides, her head ached. She groaned and tried to sit up but some heavy arms pushed her back into a laying position. Elsa opened her eyes not surprised to see the grey sky peeking in through the window. Clouds covered the sky, she'd give it around 5/8 orcas. She blinked a few times to clear her blurry vision and saw a familiar face looking at her. The brown hair, the dark eyes. Flynn was looking down at her smiling happily. She was about to ask him why he was smiling but she could only mutter out "water." And even then was it croaky.

"She didn't want him to run, he didn't want her to fear"

Flynn left her sight for a while. Whilst he was gone she sat up on the white cushions and rubbed her temples. Leaning her elbows on her knees. She heard Flynn's footsteps and looked up to him again. He kneeled down next to her and handed her a glass of cool water. Elsa drained it within seconds and then cleared her throat so she could speak clearly.

"Nobody said it'd be easy, they knew it was rough. But, tough luck."

"Why are you hear? What happened?" She looked around and found no evidence that she'd had a mental break down last night. The mirror was leaning next to the door frame with all the glass cleared up. Flynn chuckled with no humour, only confusion, sarcasm and pity.

"You want to know what happened? Okay. How about how I called you and you didn't answer, how I came down here to see the door open? Oh wait, this is my favourite part of the whole situation, how about how I walked into the bathroom to see my best friend laying in blood with cuts up and down her arms?" He ended up yelling at that point, he was so angry, so confused and sad.

"I fell in love today, There aren't any words that you can say."

He should have noticed, how she was reluctant to go to the beach, swimming, how her sleeves were always rolled down. He was angry, but not at Elsa, at himself. He looked at her and noticed her head was hanging down in despair. He spoke with a softer tone, "When I saw the door open, I knew something was wrong so I walked inside...

Flynn walked into the flat, everything was silent. He looked around and saw an empty vodka bottle laying half smashed in the middle of the combined dining room / lounge. Flynn picked it up and inspected it carefully looking over the label. It had light pink lipstick stains around the opening, drained. He shook his head and walked a little further and saw a smashed mirror and what seemed to be the other side of the smashed bottle. Flynn's heart started to beat faster in his chest and he ran down the corridor to Elsa's bedroom but it was empty, only a neatly made bed and furniture placed around the room. He walked into the bathroom and gasped. Flynn fell to his knees, his hands falling limp at his side. His eyes, that were now shining with tears, scanned the area.

Blood

So much blood.

He took in two deep breaths and tried to wipe the tears away but it was no use, new ones kept replacing the old ones. He just crawled forward and checked Elsa's pulse, it was still beating strong, he let out a sigh of relief and grabbed her wrists elevating her arms so the bleeding would stop and heal easier. He was remembered, memories flashed through his vision. He couldn't let it happen again. He ran to the cupboard pulling out a first aid kit. He took the lid off and grabbed some bandages and antiseptic. He got a cloth and wet it, he then wiped her arms down and rubbed some antiseptic on her cuts. He winced when he felt Elsa flinch a little, but he sighed thankfully that she was indeed alive. After he bandaged her arms up and picked her up. He walked down stairs and laid her on the couch and put her arms above her head to keep the cuts from bleeding again. He went to work on cleaning the bathroom and mirror. When he finished he checked her pulse and smiled when he noticed it was at the normal beat. She was okay.

R

"That could ever get my mind to change. She's enough for me, she's in love with me."

"How did you know what to do?" Elsa asked, baffled by what she had heard. She was a mess the previous night, out of her mind. She would never have done that sober. Maybe she was crazy, mental, insane. But no, she reminded herself, she was normal, she was fine, she was okay.

"Because five years ago I stumbled into the same scene, only I was too late." Flynn said quietly breathing in and out deeply. He kept on thinking, what if he was too late again. What if she died then and there? But it was okay, because it didn't happen she was fine, she was safe.

"You're a doll, you are flawless. But I just can't wait for love to destroy us."

"Oh." It was all Elsa could think to say, she had made in relive something he didn't want to forget. She felt bad, terrible.

"Elsa...just why? How are you feeling?" Flynn asked sitting down next to Elsa on the sofa. She smiled slightly and turned to face him.

"I'm fine, I mean sometimes I am just scared or panicked. But I'm fine, if you don't count hatred towards yourself, the horrible fear of something big about to happen, the not sleeping. The panic attacks have been worse but it's all fine. I'm surprised I didn't die earlier actually." She laughed trying to make the topic lighter. It didn't seem to work because Flynn looked at her sadly, annoyed and disappointed.

"

She mentally groaned, disappointment was the worst thing to have someone feel about you. Flynn squeezed the knee closest to him and hit it lightly.

"Get changed, I know I know 'why I just woke up' but you don't want to be fired." He said, Elsa got up and was about to leave to go to her room but he stopped her, "Look I know you never wanted me to find out but it's probably for the best you know. This conversation is not over but don't worry, I won't tell anyone, just, no more secrets okay?" He asked, Elsa looked at him, guilt flooding her veins. She smiled though,

"I just can't wait for love The only flaw – you are flawless."

"No more secrets."

Elsa changed into a black skirt, white jumper and her familiar black and white Katz. (They are really nice shoes btw look them up) She sighed and looked in the mirror, she felt better, more refreshed. Maybe she was just bipolar or had MPD but she felt better. Like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had told someone, well not really, but someone knew the gist of it. It was better then sneaking around. She smiled and put a thin layer of mascara on before walking out to see Flynn leaning against the door, he grinned up at her.

"But I just can't wait for love to destroy us. I just can't wait for love."

"Let's go El."

Flynn and Elsa walked into the building she had a small smile on her face, she took her coat off and put it on the coat rack humming a little tune she had stuck in her head. She looked around and saw only Jack and Astrid huddled over something, she crossed her eyebrows and went over to them. Elsa peeked over their shoulders she saw a maths sheet, probably Astrid's she was the only one who literally took math questions off the internet and solved them. She sighed quietly to not disturb them but she couldn't, help it. So she did it.

"So, she put his heart in a bag, he wouldn't ask for it back."

"The answers 288, you know." She blurted out making Jack squeal, he jumped around five feet in the air, Elsa giggled at his reaction but composed herself and placed a hand on her hip.

"I'm not surprised you said that."Jack smirked, composing himself. Astrid punched his shoulder and tried to stop herself from laughing too. Astrid and Elsa both knew it was some little thing he cocky shit head had planned. Elsa decided to play along.

"He didn't want her to cry, she didn't want to be sad."

"How come?" She asked almost mockingly but Jack didn't notice. It seemed like he was determined to get something or do something. Either way it scared Elsa a little bit because Jack never ha deny thing good up his sleeve. She looked down at him to find him staring up at her.

"Because I asked it to get your attention." Jack murmured to her, she looked at his eyes and found herself amazed by the light blue mixing with golden flecks. The contrast of the two colours made a almost hypnotising Ora about it, she could get lost in them for hours. Elsa felt Flynn tap her shoulder knocking her out of her little "daze"

"You have the intelligence of a donkey." She scoffed folding her arms, she could help but notice the quick glacé Jack gave to her wrist, the one where the bruise was. Was Jack worried? Probably not, she was just over thinking again, like a lot of the time but who didn't over think things?

"She said, "You better not leave me."."

"Donkeys are smart right." Jack asked with a frown, his eyebrows were scrunched together and he gave her a little pout. Astrid elbowed Jack again laughing at his stupidity, nobody seemed to want to tell him anything so Elsa stepped up, metaphorically.

"Oh Jack, honey, no." Elsa made a quick "tut" ing noise and rubbed his shoulde exaggerating to make a point, that Jack was in fact a donkey. Jack huffed playfully and made his lips into a straight line pushing them. He looked at Elsa grinning.

"Fine but you'll be proud of my donkey brain one day." He laughed lightly. Elsa couldn't help but smile slightly. She felt Flynn behind her and saw in the corner of her eye, Rupunzel and Hiccup enter, they were squeezing their hair and shaking their coats. Rupunzel had an umbrella and was shaking the water droplets off. She quickly took a look outside it was now raining crazily. Outside was dark clouds and some clashes of thunder. Elsa wouldn't be surprised if lightening came.

"One day too soon." She whispered in his ear then turned on her heel walking towards the employees room. Flynn and Astrid had left both Jack and Elsa alone at this point and were helping Rupunzel and Hiccup. She smirked when she heard Jack's chair scrape against the wooden floor, North was going to be annoyed if he found scratches on the floor from the chair.

"I'm sure El I'm sure." Jack called after her. She looked over her shoulder laughing and saw Jack sitting on the table with a weird stick in his hand, it was long and browns with blue and white tints in it. The end was fashioned into a strange arch, she couldn't help but wonder where he had got it from so quickly, she admired it a little too, his ability to collect things quick.

"This shit'll be fucked for days and weeks and months, but..."

"Yes you are Jack, yes you are." She yelled back over her shoulder to him. She didn't wait for a response before going into the break room and putting her apron on and sitting on a couch taking deep breaths, she didn't even need to do so, she just felt like doing it so she did. She was tired, so so tired. She thought for a second before deciding to take a quick nap. She leaned her head against the arm rest nuzzling her head into her hands and drifted of, taking a quick nap.

When she woke up she felt more relaxed and at ease, a thin blanket had been draped over her and a little pillow under her head. Elsa stretched and sat up rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. She didn't even notice that Jack and Hiccup were looking at her from the couch opposite the one she was on. She yawned and ran a hand threw her hair, well the loose strands from her low pony tail. She opened her eyes wider and smiled to Hiccup and Jack finally seeing them.

"Your a doll you are flawless."

"How long did I sleep for?" She asked, Jack laughed and walked over plopping next to her, missing her feet by a millimetre.

"Only an hour, don't worry your not in trouble, Flynn told North you had a rough night so he let you be for a while." Hiccup explained walking forward and leaning in the arm rest. She nodded and folded the blanket up placing it next to her. She yawned again this time silently. Hastily she moved a hand in front of her mouth so people wouldn't see but the two boys laughed and poked her sides. She laughed with them feeling content, happy.

Sadly happiness doesn't seem to last forever, it goes as fast as it comes. For within seconds Elsa felt the dread pick up on her life. She was waiting a table, there was a mum and dad with two little girls, it reminded her of her family. The four people, the family that were perfect, the happy ones. Well until the accident of course.

"But I just can't wait for love to destroy us."

"I'm sorry could you repeat that?" She asked, to busy daydreaming to notice the father was ordering. He just smiled and waved his hand smiling widely. Elsa noticed that his other hand was gripping his wife's, maybe to show he was taken Elsa didn't know.

"Yes can we have two lasagnes and two kids bolognese please. Also two lemonades, one coke and one beer please." The man asked, Elsa nodded and walked away her mind hammering, chest becoming so tight it was sickening. Flynn seemed to notice almost straight away and ran over to Elsa who was panting pm her breathing had quickened and tears formed in her eyes. He guided her away from the restaurant and into the break room. She fell onto a wall and slid down it clutching herself,

"I-I think I'm ha-having a panic-ic att-attack." She stuttered, her head and chest ached and Flynn stood up pacing the room worried he didn't know what to do. His mind clicked.

"Elsa I need you to talk to me okay? Tell me exactly what you did when you graduated school." He said quickly kneeling in front of her grabbing her shoulders genially. She shook her head rapidly and let out a gasp of air, sucking air in quickly again, it repeated itself until Elsa managed to say something.

"I just can't wait for love."

"I-I got up and dressed, I showered and spent ages making myself look good, when I finished I walked to my school and saw some people I knew and talked to them about well everything," She didn't notice it but her breathing had decreased fast, she was almost completely normal again except her was still shaking ands pro king back and forth, "Then I did the whole graduation thing and here I am now, I'm here I want to be, where I should be." She finished, she was only silent for a few seconds before she smiled in amazement. The attack was over thanks too Flynn she grabbed him into a tight hug. She didn't want to let go but she did and stood up with shaky legs.

"I need time off." She said before leaving Flynn alone in the break room whilst she was in search for North.

"Hello North." Elsa asked walking into his office, he looked up from the paper work in front of him and clasped his hands together looking at her, a small smile playing on the edges of his lips.

"Yes El?" He asked, Elsa flicked with her fingers and looked up at North then back down to her fingers. She was scared to say it but she did anyway.

"Your a flaw- you are flawless."

"I was wondering if I could get the rest of the week off, " she asked quickly, North must have understood and listened because he shook his head and typed in some stuff on the keyboard or keyboard.

"Oh let me check," he muttered and continued checking he

Is email."Yah for a week only though. Why?" He asked, Elsa was beyond shocked, she didn't think she get that far. She thought he'd say no, not asked for treasure and money.

"Oh urm my sister is sick so she needs to be cared for and our parents are out of town." Elsa said in an almost robotic way, it was forceful and scary but she said it anymore.

"Oh okay, I hope she gets better soon." He smiled to her leaning over and squeeze her shoulder. She felt instantly better and more happy.

"But I just can't wait for love to destroy us."

"Thanks North." She waved at hi leaving the office happily. She had got. Week off, some time to collect herself and hell herself without people bugging in or telling her what to do

"Your welcome Elsa."

"I just can't wait for love."