I'm sorry that this is so short! Also sorry for not updating sooner, may update once a week! Still sorry!


"I think I've found hell."

The frost on the window built up with every passing second, frost in Summer. An unlikely event but the weather had been playing tricks for the past few weeks. Outside the windows children ran around in the streets, playing with their friends, whilst their parents were running after their children, yelling for them to put on a coat. Yet ever so quickly, all of that was interrupted, silenced against the blazing song of restaurant phone. Her gaze was restaurant away from the window and onto her mobile. She tentatively reached out and pressed the accept button, seeing her bosses name sprawled across the screen. She raised the phone to her ear,

"Elsa?" North's accented voice became the only thing she paid attention too, she leant her head against the window and smiled as if talking to an old friend. After weeks of ignoring the world and crying she finally felt numb. It had gotten to the point where she would stare at the wall with watery eyes and hope to cry, feel like she crying, yet no tears would fall. She became scared, she feared herself more then she had hoped. Elsa tugged on her sweater's sleeved and rolled them up, trying to keep from looking at the disgusting red marks the cuts had left behind, some had started to turn white whilst the ones nearer her wrist had nearly completely faded, something she was thankful for.

"I think I've found something."

"Hello." She replied with a hoarse voice, she was barely using it, she'd lost the will to do anything, let alone speak and it was the least of her worries anyway.

"You haven't been to work in a while. If you don't come in tomorrow, I'm afraid I'll have to give you the sack." He sighed loudly, you could hear the customers in the background, it sounded busy, no wonder he wanted her to come back, he just need the help.

"Oh I'm sorry, I"l be in tomorrow, promise." Elsa muttered quietly into the receiver. She remembered Ana hadn't asked her how she was, but she remembered how Ana would hate her to the grave. Jesus at this rate she would be sent to the lowest circle of hell.

"Okay sweetheart, are you alright?" Norths voice broke through her rambling thoughts. She almost laughed, was she alright? No. God she needed help.

'I think I've found something in my TV Screen'

"I'm good, I've been doing okay." She replied simply. She remembers when life was as simple as that sentence, she missed it.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then?" He asked, she nodded before remembering that he couldn't see her. She did that a lot.

"Yes." Her voice cracked as she hung the phone up and let it fall from her grip and onto the floor.

'I think I've found out, that I have nothing.'

Still she didn't move, her mind fixated on nothing, she saw blank. Her mind was with the planets. Storms took over everything within her, she had no control, her body was weak compared to the overwhelming waves of nothingness. It was the worst feeling, being drowned by nothing. There were hands everywhere on her, her heart, her legs, her arms, her waist, and all dragging her down.

Elsa's dainty hands were clutching for journal, well it seconded as a book. She wrote down little story's about her thoughts to help control her feelings. For instance if you opened it up to page twenty-six you would find:

'There's a boy and he makes me want to smile again sometimes and I'm a mess and sometimes I want to drown the entire world in sea salt and disappear to live on the moon and I'll pack my bags and live on the moon I don't need anything other than a radio to sing along to songs in the dark. I don't know if it'll work but I'll be like the boy who swam to the oceans edge and I'll become on with the stars and maybe I'll feel less hopeless.'

'That I have nothing in this place for me.'

It was a part two for another dabble:

'There's a boy who swam to the edge of the world. It rained all day and he thought he was drowning under the floods, but he kept going, even until his arms ached. He fought the sharks and he swam with dolphins and he learned to breathe under water, but as he became one with the sea, he found he only wanted the land. He kept swimming, though, closer and closer to the edge of the world to find the source of sunlight and a reason to breathe and how surprised he was to fine that at the ocean's edge, a waterfall only pulled him down into further currents. He spent years underneath the sea, singing to the stars reflecting down onto the oceans floor. But it gets lonely when your only company are the fish that scatter at the sight if you. He reached the surface on day, but when he climbed onto the shore, he found that his throat closed up and eyes bulged out, and he discovered that in trying to find the land, he'd become one with the sea.'

She wasn't going to deny the fact that they were both written on behalf of Jack. Writing made her feel like a child again.

She remembered being a child, so simple so easy. Not a care in the world as she had wondered through the world only seeing the good. The evil masked by a fake shadow and smile.

Children, small creatures with hopes and dream covering their arms and chest. So full of beauty and wonder. But when you hit twelve, it changes just like when your parents ask, your teacher asked, everybody fucking asks the same question "What do you want to be when you grow up."

At twelve, you are too old to say "I want to be a princess." Or "I want to be an astronaut." So (in Elsa's class) everyone's answers consisted of actresses, singers, dancers, nurses. Most people wanted to be heroes and Elsa found herself wondering whether or not any of them were.

Elsa had wanted to be a journalist, she wanted it so badly. You do, when your young, bright blue eyed, skin filled with love and hopes and dreams. There'd been enough love to drown the world, over and over and over again.

Elsa's heart seemed incapable of love, sure she had things she liked to a certain extent. She liked curling up in freshly washed bedsheets after a hot bath, she liked releasing her pain to the sharpest objects nearest her. She liked her friend, Flynn, and liked the idea of a clean flat, with everything in it's place.

'I watched it all in my head,'

She never used to be sad. In fact, that word wasn't even in her vocabulary.

It was a vary difficult thing to explain, depression. She still hasn't become accustomed to calling it that. She's not sure she ever will, because even when the doctor told her, it didn't feel real. It's like, it's not just that you're tired, and it's not just that you're sad, you're ill. And that's it, its kind of it.

'Perfect sense, don't take me from my bed.'

Elsa really liked beautiful things, that's why Jack seemed to catch her eye so much. So its no wonder really why he caught her attention so much.

Because he really was an example of a beautiful thing. His light blonde hair that always lay messily on the top of his head, his blue eyes that reflected a stunning lake, somehow, for some reason. The wrinkles that formed around his nose and eyes as he laughed at something Hiccup or North had said.

He was a beautiful boy, trapped within a small restaurant, walls filled to the brim with greyness and bright lights. He was happiness closed within the sadness. He was the beam of light in a heart of darkness. And no matter how much or hard she'd tried to not think of him, she always did. So she accepted that she found him beautiful. After all she found many things beautiful, the flowers that bloomed in spring, a baby's laugh. Many things.

"Just take me instead, that TV show."

Elsa finally found the will to move from her position on the window seat. She stumbled out of her room, journal still in hand. After passing Ana's room she halted in her footsteps, the door was open and she saw Ana laying on her bed reading a book and listening to music with her earphones. She was oblivious to the fact that Elsa was looking at her, with a sigh, Elsa continued to the kitchen and sat on the counter. She got a glass from the drying up rack and filled it with water, gulping it down trying to calm the rumbling of her stomach. She noticed her sleeves were still rolled up and pulled them down quickly, yet she forgot she had a glass.

Elsa watched as the glass fell to the floor with a crash, she gasped and jumped out of shock. A rumble of footsteps thundered towards the kitchen and Ana looked in. She scanned Elsa's position and sighed tip toeing over to where the dust pan and brush was kept, careful to avoid the glass, she keeled down and brushed the small pieces of glass up. Elsa bit her lip,

"Don't tell them anything, anything please."

"I can do it." She hesitated, reaching forward. Ana rolled her eyes and gave the equipment to Elsa, with that she left the room. Elsa cleaned the floor from the disaster that accured earlier, jeez she could not stop fucking up could she?

Elsa had just finished hoovering the floor when the door bell rang. She yawned tiredly and strolled over to the door. After opening it, she felt every emotion she'd felt a few weeks prior. Flynn stood there, hands in his pockets and head down. She cleared her throat and almost immediately he looked up and declared,

"I'm so sorry, I was being stupid and over reacted. I'm so sorry." He waited a few seconds to look at Elsa's reaction. Her face was hard but softened soon enough at his facial expression.

"Its fine, it was a stupid day, yet...it doesn't matter, its the past now." She stuttered and held her hand up to give hand motions whilst she talked. She smiled slightly at thw thought of her friend being back, jesus was she thankful and happy to have him.

"Good, now come her and give me a hug." He laughed, opening his arms wide ready to embrase her.

And Elsa does, heaving out a sigh, but she doesn't really mean it because Flynn is kind of the best friend in the entire world. She turns over, facing Flynn and allows a pair of arms to wrap around her skinny frame. Its familiarity and its comforting, and Elsa gives in completely, letting her body lax against Flynn's. Her face is buried in the crook of his shoulder, and Flynn's hands travel to her back, moving in comforting circles as if to remind Elsa through physical contact that he is here and he exists and so does Elsa. That they're still alive, moving in motion with the Earth and the moon. Elsa's at home and for once her mind it at peace from everything, Flynn's body protecting her from the dark thoughts that haunted her mind's shadows. She feels rested.

'We're gonna die, die, die.'

"You're gonna be alright yeah?" Flynn mumbles, "You're gonna be alright. I promise."

'Die, die, die, die. We're gonna die, die, die, die, die."

"M'yeah," Elsa yawns. "I will, I know. I hope."

"I think I've found love."