Thank you guys, seriously I love you all. I kinda expected no one to remember the story at this point. Yes the song in the last chapter was Female Robbery by The Neighbourhood (they're ever so good) and for the guest, that review was beautifully written can I just say! But no, rape wasn't going to be where the story's heading, its a mear warning for a conversation later in the chapter, but I took what you said seriously and I really agree with you, its like the same story written in different points of view and time zones. Thanks so much for all the reviews, I made this chapter long for you all! Longest thing I've ever written. The song in this chapter is The Devil Within - The Digital Daggers.
Also guys add me on kik (jeff_jack) I wanna chat to you guys!
*WARNING - Mentions of Rape*
"I will keep quiet, you won't even know I'm here,"
Elsa found herself that night falling asleep wrapped in a blank on the couch. Her arms cradling her face whilst she dreamt. Her dreams were peaceful tonight, maybe it was the fact that Flynn had stayed with her, talking until around 5pm, at the time Elsa fell asleep. Flynn had made a make shift bed in the couch and wrapped her up in a blanket before leaving her in peace. It was then that he noticed the blue book covered in snowflakes laying on the floor in a crumpled position. He quietly walked over and picked it up. He shouldn't have done it. But he was mesmerised by the scrawny handwriting that plagued the pages. Little quotes and phrases were written neatly as well as many entries. Flynn's breath hitched whilst he read,
"Hello (I'm not sure how to start this, still after many entries)
Its as if I look like a cardboard box that everyone can dispose of. I'm not even sure how I'm meant to feel about this. Anyway, I now have full custody over Ana, if only she could forgive me. The way she acts, its so morbid. Anyway it's strange. One minute we'll have a great conversation, next she's ignoring me, or giving me dirty looks or just staring. I've never been so uncomfortable in my own skin. I have no excuses I guess. But since the...event took place people scare me.
Sometimes, when I was younger, I would prey that someone would kidnap me, I wanted to be kidnapped. Even if it meant getting the occasional beating or something. I would never run from them, I'd stay, stay with them until they freed me, maybe even I'll beg to still be with them. But, even at that young age, darkness was consuming me. Its scary, if I'm honest.
"You won't suspect a thing, you won't see me in the mirror,"
You would never have expected this, because. Once upon a time I was happy, the life in the room of lost souls. I'd smile like the world was my oyster. I smiled so much, laugh so much.
Anyway, that's all I can think of to say, so I guess, see you next time?
Goodbye'
Flynn bit his lip in concentration, so many emotions were noted, along with a number on each entry, the number would range from 1 to 10 never higher then the occasional eleven. Some pages had smears of scarlet blood, some had drops of blood. Yet the drops had something different. There were calculations written around them. The angle and height was written neatly underneath each blood spatter. Flynn frowned, what was this? He turned the page and found a small story written:
'There was a little girl who had a frozen heart, she sat all day and turned things away. Just sat there looking smart. The ice inside her heart had spread to her frozen brain, since that day her whole life, could never be the same. She sat their feeling lonely, crying everyday. Wishing that somebody would come to her and stay. She shot out and icy blast that covered the entire house, but soon one day, a small stray helped her getting out. And now the frozen hearted girl would run around with a smile, because, that day, she found her way and found warmth in her icy heart.'
Flynn stared, shocked at the small story, when in all honesty it was more poetic then story like.
"But I've kept into your heart you can't make me disappear,"
Flynn placed the book back into it's awkward position, not trusting himself to hold it in his grasp for any longer. He wondered if Elsa had ever told someone her feeling, the ones she kept under lock and key in her brain, by the looks of it, she didn't even trust herself to write them onto paper, but he saw the sense in it. Anyone, such as himself, could pick it up and read it. Thoughts weren't safe, but no matter what, saying them wasn't safe and keeping them to yourself wasn't safe. Saying them out loud would give someone the power to control you, get if you keep them to yourself, it eats you alive and tears you apart. Flynn shook his head, swatting the thoughts away.
When the clock struck six, Flynn took notice that he'd stayed up all night. Elsa began to stir, she groaned and stretched her arms out. She opened her eyes and looked at Flynn with a small smile.
"Till I make you."
"Hi." She croaked, standing up slowly careful to not make her head rush. She stretched her back, closing her eyes and yawning. Flynn laughed.
"Morning, get ready, we need to be down to work earlier then normal. Its really busy lately." He shooed her to the corridor leading to her room gripping her shoulders and steering her away, Elsa laughed lightly,
"Hm, I guessed." She mumbled, after all the phone call yesterday had alerted her of how busy it was. She walked down the corridor anyway, leaving Flynn downstairs to fend for himself. She walked past Anas room knocking on it, nobody answered so Elsa quietly opened the door. Ana was laying on her bed in a fatal position, asleep. Elsa shook her head and carried on into her own room.
She cleaned up a little bit, wiping dust from her bookshelf and chest of drawers, the room was small and had not much furniture, but then again, she didn't own that much stuff. She stopped herself and opened her drawers picking out a black skirt, tights and a white shirt, the sleeves landing a few centimetres away from the first light scar. Before she could undress, the mirror caught her. It was the first time she had looked at herself in weeks and in all honesty, she wanted to just cry. She looked horrendous. Her cheeks had sunken in more and the bags under her eyes hung low, purple shadows were smudged permanently under the bags. Her skin was paler then normal and looked old. She ran to the bathroom and splashed water on her face. Maybe even wishing to rise off her long lasting ugliness.
She hiccuped and walked back to her room, sadness radiating off her body. She felt so stupid. She was feeling this when people obviously have or had it worse. She felt so selfish, selfish that she couldn't be happy. But the sadness wasn't something she could turn on and off. It was there, an ora of loneliness and unhappiness.
Elsa changed quickly, not looking at her reflection until she needed to. Once she changed she picked up a tube of concealer, she couldn't look like this. She practically painted the tube onto her face and rubbed it in but nearly cried at how obvious it was that she was wearing it, she took some moisturizer in her fingers and rubbed it on her face, it seemed to help with the ageing enough so she left it and layered on her eyeliner and mascara. Once she deemed herself presentable she walked back to the lounge. Flynn had a plate of toast on the table ready for her to eat. She smiled gratefully at him and sat down to eat the food. Her stomach twisted at the sensation of food filling it, and, after two pieces, she felt full. After those two weeks of not eating much her stomach had shrunken intently, she felt more full more easily. She looked at Flynn and frowned
"Are you going to be okay, you don't have a change of clothes." She said after swallowing her last piece of toast. She rubbed her full stomach and stood up, taking her plate to the sink, as well as Flynn's, and washing them up. Flynn laughed.
"Elsa hunny, I have spare clothes at work from when I spend the night at rupunzel." He told her tapping her shoulder. They walked back out the kitchen and Elsa grabbed her shoes slipping them on. They walked to work together. The only sounds were one or two cars and birds whistling. The fresh air was amazing to feel on Elsa's face, she missed it intently.
"I've made myself at home in the cobwebs and the lies."
As they rounded a few corners the restaurant came into view. Its cute green windows and red door. It looked like something from a comic book. Maybe that was why Elsa loved it so much. They must have been a little bit late or something because when they walked in, everyone was putting the chairs down and wiping tables. Surprisingly Jack was the first to look up, he smiled,
"Elsa! You're back." He called out, catching everyone else's attention. Everyone's eyes were now on her, she felt herself shrink inside, the attention was too much.
"Been a while hasn't it?" Hiccup smiled, squeezing her shoulder, sometimes Hiccup was her favourite as he never was big on emotions or physical contact, he respected her personal space while she respected his.
"Yes, I'm sorry." Elsa apologised giving a weak, slight grin. It looked more like a grimis then anything, he laughed and shook his head before walking away.
"Don't be love!" Rupunzel tutted wagging her finger like a mother. Elsa must have looked like a stunned sheep because Rupunzel hugged Elsa tightly. Elsa tapped Rupunzel's back giving the hint she was uneasy, thankfully Rupunzel let go and smiled. She walked next to Flynn and took his hand. Elsa opened her mouth and closed it, taking in a breathe then speaking
"Oh sorry?" It sounded more like a question then a statement as Elsa seemed to stammer more around them, especially with this much attention.
"Elsa don't say sorry when its unnecessary." Astrid yelled from across the room, she walked over and stood in front of Elsa looking more intimidating then she probably meant to.
"Oh so-" Elsa paused realising she was about to apologise to Astrid, "Oh." She said instead, earning a laugh and a pat on the shoulder from Astrid. Elsa walked to the break room and got her apron and tied it up. She walked back out, prepared for the day.
Okay she wasn't really prepared.
The next few hours of work really tired out Elsa, of course her colleges were tired to, but as it was her first day back, she never expected everything to be laid on her so quickly. Many things happened. A old man grabbed her arm, making her sleeve roll up a little higher, she had to help in the kitchen, meaning she had to roll up she sleeves and finally Jack. She couldn't find anywhere to look other then at him, sometimes not by choice. So when they were in the break room all sitting around having a chat. The hours for the restaurant were simple and strange the hours were half seven to twelve, and hours break, then two until six, then some other people came in for the night shift. So that's how they were all sitting there, smiling and talking as if they had no cares. Yet there was Elsa, feeling out of place, like they were all fish and she was a lobster.
She felt uneasy and kept moving around. Her skin became uncomfortable and she felt like she was screaming and crying. Images of everyone laughing at her if she cried went through her head. She panicked and tensed her stomach, she wasn't hungry today. The voices were invading her mind, plotting against her in a huddled group. She cried "Stop it please, I can't take this!" But nobody would listen, the voices ignoring her. And carrying on. Her sobs were echoing. Heart aching in her chest for someone to take notice and hold her close.
But she sat there, straight and smiling, not letting the emotions ruin how people saw her. After all, she was a professional.
"I'm learning all your tricks, I can hurt you from inside."
"Hey did you guys hear about the girl who was raped and killed just a few streets away?" Hiccup interjected, he looked at everyone expectantly. Only Jack looked up and nodded, she smiled and Elsa found herself smiling too, she didn't bother denying the butterflys in her stomach.
"Yeah I heard her organs were removed and placed in random places near her." Jack smirked widely and made a line on his belly with his hand, making his point. Rupunzel groaned.
"That sound like some Jack the Ripper shit man." Flynn called out from next to Rupunzel, Hiccup looked confused,
"Who's Jack the Ripper?" He asked innocently, Flynn's face darkened, he had this weird love of Jacks work, Rupunzel told people about it a few days after they started to go out, somehow everyone in town found out. But nobody blamed Rupunzel, it was strange.
"You fecking basturd!" Flynn yelled jumping onto Hiccup, tackling him to the floor play fighting with each other, Astrid gasped and sat there helplessly letting out a few laughs every so often. Rupunzel shuffled, not knowing what to do, it was until Flynn started to explain to everyone who Jack was that everything seemed to calm down a little bit.
"Jack the Ripper is a famous historic, Victorian, figure in Britain, he was this serial killer who killed five or so woman, well prostitutes, horribly, kind of like that murderer did, but worse. I remember one of them had their organs rearranged and her intestines were wrapped around her shoulders. But his identity has been unknown for the past 125 years, bummer but he's famous as hell! There are millions of books and movies based of him. How did you not know him?" Flynn announced, everyone was just looking, at everything not really knowing what to say. They didn't really know much about him either, Hiccup laughed,
"Well sorry Mr Ripper." He mocked, faking a bow. Flynn rolled his eyes and mocked him, under his breath. Astrid sighed,
"Well back to the girl then." She clapped her hands. Elsa sat there looking around, the idea of murderers made her queasy and sick. She hated the idea of a poor innocent person getting their life taken from them. As she thought this she felt very hypocritical.
"People are saying its her fault for being raped." Astrid said, looking at her phone, probably reading the article. Elsa felt herself frown. Nothing annoyed her more than when people said this,
"That's bullshit, its the stupid horny git that raped hers fault! Unless she said 'Rape me.' Then its not rape, because she gave consent and enjoyed it." Elsa spoke up, Rupunzel pointed at her enthusiastically as if agreeing with her. Jack smiled to Elsa and she felt her heart speed increase ever so slightly. After a few more remarks the conversation dyed down, with forty minutes left of their break everyone went and did their thing. Rupunzel and Flynn went too talk privately, Astrid and Hiccup went doing whatever they were doing but it left Elsa and Jack. Jack looked at her and huffed,
"Its boring here, let's go and get a coffee, we've got a while till work starts again." Jack offered, Elsa looked around and sighed, did she really want to do this?
He just feels bad for you.
Maybe he just wants you to pay
Damn he must be really bored wanting to go out with someone as annoying as you
Ah, the voices were back, Elsa almost missed them, but now they were back she just wanted them gone again. She hated them, making her feel about ten inches tall.
"O-Okay." She replied, trying her best to ignore the words floating around her head. Elsa bit her tongue and held her head up tall feeling the rare surge of confidence flood through her veins.
"I made myself a promise, you would never see me cry,"
"What did you want to be when you were younger?" Elsa asked Jack breaking the awkward silence that floated around them. She took a sip of her Mocha feeling the hot mixture burn its way down her throat, it felt more like a punishment then a nice drink.
"I wanted to be an astronaut. How about you?" Jack replied and Elsa found herself wondering if a small part of him still wanted to be an Astronaut, if he still wanted to wear a space suit and explore the millions of different stars and galaxy's. She also wondered what made him stop wanting to be one. Elsa was so lost in her thoughts she almost forgot that he's asked her a question.
"Journalist, turned into a forensic scientist," Elsa admitted sheepishly blushing a little bit. She was usually private many things, including this. But she felt like telling the truth.
"Really? How come?" Jack asked sipping his White Latte, Elsa smiled a small smile and shook her head, she quickly quoted Tate Langdon, feeling clever for her choice in quote.
"There's just something about all that blood," She paused looking up at Jack who was watching her intently, curious and interested even. "You know, the famous Greek historian Herodotus, wrote of a Spartan leader who was thrown into the stocks after exhibiting strange behaviour. And as he was lying there, fast bound, he noticed that all the guards had left him, except one, and he asked the man, who was his serf, to lend him his knife. As soon as the knife was in his hands, he began to mutilate himself, beginning on his shins. I don't know there's something fascinating about it." Elsa rambled, smiling slightly as she talk about her passions. Jack watched her smiling widely as she talked and talked, he found himself adoring the way her whole face lit up when she talked about something or someone close to her.
"Wow, interesting topic you picked there." Jack joked raising his coffee mug a little to enhance his point, Elsa laughed,
"I guess it is." She admitted, it was quiet for a little bit after that but it was a comfortable silence. Jack cleared his throat and looked at Elsa with a serious face, Elsa's stomach twisted in anticipation of what he was going to say.
"You remember when I was hassiling you about the bruise on your wrist?" Elsa nodded slowly, "Well I wanted to apologise for being so... Well for being an asshole about it." Jack pressed his lips together tightly anxious for Elsa's reaction.
"You weren't being that bad of an asshole, but apology accepted." Elsa answered, they smiled at each other and finished their drinks.
"Till I make you."
"Tell me about your family." Jack said whilst they were walking back to the restaurant, Elsa tensed up a little bit but relaxed soon enough, she didn't need to look suspicious to anyone, especially Jack. So she answered,
"I have a younger sister and a late mother and father, that's it really, apart from their parents obviously." Elsa finished, Jack looked at her sadly, she hated it when people to that. When Elsa told Flynn he had the same look. She wished she could slap it off his face.
"Oh well if it makes you feel any better my sisters dead too." Jack paused, "I say that out loud and it doesn't sound any better then in my head." He shook his head and looked to the floor. It was obvious to any sain person that he hated to talk about it. But what would Elsa have done if she lost Ana? Ha, Elsa thought, big fat fucking ha.
"Hey, you remember Flynn was talking about Jack the Ripper?" Jack asked looking at Elsa, who's face paled and if cartoons were in their place then her face would be green. Jack noted this, "I'm not going to talk about what he did. But there was an article about how the "Jack" mystery was solved. Apparently it was a drunken journalist who created this story in his head and forged a letter and signed it with 'jack'." Jack explained, eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Elsa smiled and took note of this, another thing to make him beautiful.
"Wow, don't tell him that, it'll crush him." They both shared a quick snigger before entering their work place. Elsa checked the time, it was. Ten minutes until opening. She went into the girls toilets and took in a few deep breaths. When she felt her heart speed decrease and face cool down she walked into one of the stools and sat on the toilet.
You have a crush on him
You like him
Once again you like someone who'd never like you back, great
"I do not." She whispered to them, jesus to anyone actually normal she must look positively nuts. She sighed and walked out of the stalls and back to work. Some customers had started to wonder in, so she got right to work.
Elsa liked to call this part of work WORK PART TWO, unorigional yes but it made it easier...somehow.
"You'll never know what hit you,"
After her shift, Elsa was collecting her stuff when Jack tapped her shoulder, she turned around and found him leaning on the wall next to her locker.
"Hey just wanted to say thanks for today, it was nice." Jack said, Elsa looked at him and tilted her head.
"Yeah it was, but I should be thanking you, I mean you paid." She gestured towards him with a small smile. She felt happier near beauty. Sometimes when she talked to Jack it reminded her of beauty and the beast.
"I didn't pay, I thought you paid." Jack replied his face contorted into a wide Cheshire cat smile, he laughed. Elsa shook her head and looked to the floor.
"Oh, well we aren't ever going there again." She mumbled to herself, but loud enough for Jack to hear. She looked up and felt her heart rate increase at the way he was looking at her.
"Won't see me closing in,"
"But it was fun." Jack stated stepping forward. Elsa felt her breath escape her lungs and struggled to get more back in. She needed to clear her head.
"Yeah, it was. Uh goodbye Jack." Elsa dismissed, feeling the unforgettable feeling of nervousness spread through her body. She needed to get out of there. Fast,
"Goodbye Elsa." She walked away from him, daring not to turn and look behind, scared of what she might see. Maybe him glaring at her back or rolling his eyes to her, so she continued out of the restaurant.
"I'm the heavy burden that you can't bare."
Elsa walked into her flat dumping the contense of her pocket on the table. She streached and walked around the table into her room and lay on the bed. She felt so emotionally drained and tired. She wanted to sleep but her thoughts kept swirling her head. She needed them to calm down so she could rest but they had full control. They made her want to slam her wrist on the table. She yawned and stood up again pulling her shirt over her head and pulled on a tank top and tugged her skirt and tights off replacing them with sleeping shorts. She was so tired, but so cold. Yet her blood and heart were sending scorching waves through her body. She was scared to touch her skin, fearful that a burn will stand bright on her hand.
"I'm gonna make you suffer,"
Downstairs the doorbell had rang, Elsa couldn't go down and answer it in her attire. She would risk everything if she did. Just to her luck there was Ana running down the hall yelling,
"I'll get it!"
"I try to be the lover to your nightmare."
Elsa stood in front of her mirror looking at herself, her eyes seemed to only be drawn to the faults. Her chest sank low with each breath, her fingers traced around her stomach, imagioning cutting off all the fat. She heard her door some open and gasps. She went to grab herself hiding what she could but it was to late.
"Elsa?"
"Ill make you see."
