Connor headed home after the first period as his hunger was growing to an uncontrollable level. He nearly lost it when he saw the blood on Evan's arm. He didn't mean to go so close to him but he could only see crimson and Evan for a few moments. He was drawn to it. He nearly attacked him there but seeing the fear in Evan's eyes broke his trance and he managed to get through the class. He's probably scared shitless of me.

His mother spotted him as he entered his home and called out to him but Connor kept looking ahead and rushed upstairs. The pain in his stomach spread throughout his whole body. He locked the door to the bathroom and stood in front of the sink. He stared at himself for a moment, taking in his sickly appearance. He looked like a ghost. His pupils had dilated already and his cheekbones looked like as if they were about to pierce through his skin. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a small razor that he kept just in case for these occasions. Connor sucked in a breath while he slid the sharp metal across his wrist and immediately placed his mouth over the cut. Without a second thought, his fangs grew from his gums and he had to pull back to not bite down on his wrist. He sucked the warm blood from his arm, some escaping his mouth and dripping down his chin. Drinking his own blood was different than drinking someone else's as other blood gave him a high or drunk feeling but his own made him nauseous. He had to suppress the feeling of gagging and force the blood down his throat. It was the only thing that would keep him alive right now. Once he was finished he held onto the sink for a moment to steady himself and calm the nauseous feeling rising up in him. He looked at himself in the mirror, deathly pale and with blood dripping from his lips. He felt disgusted. Once it finally settled, he grabbed the bandages he kept in the sink cabinet and began to quickly wrap them around his wrist. His handiwork was messy but it would do for the time being.

Connor cautiously unlocked the bathroom door, checking the bathroom for any signs of his disgraceful act for the last time, and silently walked to his room. The Murphy household had never been perfect but now it was almost unbearable for Connor so he aimed to avoid his family as much as possible- his father in particular. On most days, Connor didn't cross paths with his father as he hid in his room for the most part and stayed out of the way of his family but on the unfortunate incident that he did see his father, he almost always got away with fresh bruises on his body. There was a time, after Connor came out to his family, that the abuse was at its peak. Fortunately for him, Cynthia had intervened and begged Larry to tone it down but this was only after Connor had first attempted to kill himself.

Since then, Connor had learned to keep to himself and busy himself with his drawings. Every inch of the walls to his room was covered in drawings and paintings of people, nature, and almost biblical scenes. Some simpler sketches of plants were closer to the corners but the drawings became more intricate and beautiful the closer to the center of the wall. Connor managed to escape his painful reality through his artwork and through lots of sleeping. He laid down on his messy bed, the silk sheets soft on his skin, and fell asleep the way he always did after feeding from himself. The horrible feeling always sucked the energy out of him but he found solace in his dreamless sleep.

Connor woke up the next morning to the sunlight on his face and a surprisingly more hopeful mood. On a typical day, Connor would try his best to stay home or sleep in and miss most of his classes but today was different. It took him a while before it dawned on him that this new attitude came from the thought of possibly seeing Evan again. Connor didn't exactly know why but he enjoyed Evan's anxious presence as it was more honest than most people he came across and he enjoyed teasing him even more. He wasn't sure why he had so much fun teasing Evan but he assumed it was because Evan actually spoke to him instead of just running off. Don't kid yourself, he'd never actually be your friend. He's scared of you just like all the others are and rightly so.

Without giving it much thought, Connor decided to actually wash and brush his usually oily hair before leaving for school and he chose to wear a hoodie that didn't already reek of weed and teenage boys. His new attitude was interrupted by Zoe entering his room. At the sight of him, her face lit up with a hope which she failed to conceal.

"What do you want?" Connor bit at her, annoyed with the hope she held. This had happened before. Whenever Connor cleaned himself up a bit, Zoe began to think he was getting better or that he'd fixed himself. She'd then try to be all friendly with him as if all she's done to him could be forgotten so easily. He wasn't fixed. He'd never be.

She shot him a look before rolling her eyes and replying with "I have some charcoal pencils for you, asshole. A peace offering, if you will. I want to try and fix things. If you're fine with it, I'd love to talk, but for now, here's a symbol of peace." Zoe handed him a bundle of charcoal pencils with a golden ribbon wrapped around them. Did she know charcoal was his favorite? He stared at her for a second pensively and slowly took them from her without a word. He looked away from her to the side, his way of saying Thank you which she understood and left with a small nod. Maybe things could actually change between them. Maybe he'd finally get his sister back. Or maybe you'll fuck it up again like you always do. The voices in his head still fought, but for some reason, this time the evil one was much quieter.

It was fair to say that Evan did freak out over the drawing and short note that Connor left for him after their Literature class. The entire day the words "You following me?" Flashed in his mind. What if Connor thought he was a creep or stalker? Connor was notorious in his school for his short temper and fights that he started. He could easily kill Evan. Oh god, what if he did beat him up? Luckily for Evan, he didn't have to face Connor the next week in school, nor did he receive any death threats from him. Due to the absence of Connor and Jared's incessant mockery of the situation, that being Evan on Connor's kill list just from seeing him twice in one day, Evan decided it would be fine to continue his life as normal and not worry about the situation. Well, not worry so much. Evan decided it would be fine to return to the bathroom after a week of no Connor however as he entered he once again was met with the sight of Connor smoking against the wall. He almost managed to escape the confrontation with Connor but was stopped from leaving as Connor said, "We have to stop meeting like this Hansen, it's hardly classy." With a smirk. Evan immediately began to apologize for being there but Connor cut him off again.

"Geez, Hansen it's a joke. Stay, I could use the company."

Evan shuffled his feet and entered the bathroom but remained a good distance from Connor.

"I won't bite, you know," Connor teased, taking a step towards him, "Unless you ask of course…"

Evan blushed and replied with "Thanks, I'll keep that offer in mind." Before he could even properly process what he had just said Connor burst out laughing. Evan was used to this kind of banter with Jared where all sexual jokes were encouraged and it accidentally slipped out with Connor. He blushed even more (if that was possible) and clenched his fingers down on his arm to stop from cringing.

"Damn Hansen I didn't know you had that in you. And here I was, just thinking you were some almost-dead wallflower who only drifted through the school." Connor said, still laughing but he stopped when he realized how rude he was when he saw Evan looking down with a grimace.

"Sorry Evan, I didn't mean it like that but you do kind of avoid people here like the plague. I can respect that though, the people here generally suck." Connor then moved closer and gently took Evan's hand that was pressing into his other arm and pulled it away, saying in a quiet voice "Please don't".

Evan looked up into Connor's shockingly blue eyes and was at a loss for words. His eyes were like cracked ice, with so much depth to them but warmer than they should be. They didn't fit the tough demeanour that he gave off. No, not at all. Just how many sides did Connor have? Evan barely knew him but he seemed like such a kaleidoscope to him. One moment he was angry, another cold, another teasing, another caring. Evan couldn't keep up. No one else had noticed his bad habit so far - not even his mother or Jared. Evan silently nodded to Connor while staring into his eyes, finding himself unable to look at anything else as he tried to figure out the person in front of him. Connor didn't look away from Evan's eyes either, taking in their colour and trying to decipher all of the emotions that passed. He looked down and realised he was still holding Evan's hand and quickly let it go with a cough.

Evan broke the eye contact and blushed again before saying, "I'm not stalking you by the way" and continued after seeing Connor's confused look "The drawing you left me last week. I'm n-not following you. I like to hide here from everyone in the halls in-in case I have to talk to anyone and I-I don't want to look like a loner. Sorry if I creeped you out." Connor laughed internally. He wasn't used to people apologising to him for making him uncomfortable as it was usually the other way around. He smiled at Evan and reassured him "Don't worry Hansen, I was just teasing you. You should start getting used to it if we're going to be bathroom buddies because this is the best bathroom for getting high in and I am willing to coexist if you are."

And just like that Evan and Connor became somewhat friends. Most mornings, Evan would head over to the bathroom and find Connor there. Some days they would exist together in silence, Evan reading a book on Sycamore trees as Connor smoked or painted his nails. Other days Connor would ask him about whichever book he was reading or harmlessly tease him. Evan observed during these moments the careful way in which Connor painted his nails or how he always crossed his right leg over his left as he leaned against the wall to smoke. He also observed how as the days passed, Connor seemed to smoke less and less and when Evan questioned it he simply answered with "I'm already high on life" with an excess of fake enthusiasm. These 15 minutes before class became routine for both of them however their relationship had not yet extended to outside of the bathroom, the insecurities of the two boys prevented them from furthering their friendship although they both enjoyed their morning interactions.

After around month of being "bathroom buddies" as Connor so liked to put it, he finally decided to break their routine. Evan was sitting alone in the library at lunch, making meticulous biology notes when a folded piece of paper fell onto his textbook. He turned to see Connor next to him, looking slightly nervous as he pointed to the note. Evan opened it curiously to find the word Lunch? written on it. Anxious but giddy, Evan smiled at Connor and started packing up his things. They headed up to the roof terrace where no one ever went to have lunch. If anyone were to go up there, they'd see two boys lazing around eating sandwiches, one sometimes high or drawing and the other invested in sharing all of his tree knowledge to the other. For the first time in forever, the two boys didn't feel so lonely anymore.

"C'mon Connor do you have to smoke now? We have class in half an hour. There's no way the teachers won't notice." Evan whined as he watched Connor pull out a joint from his jacket pocket.

"You're right, you're right. I guess I'll just have to skip then…" He said with an amused voice, pulling out his lighter. He was about to light his joint when Evan quickly snatched the lighter away from him and held it away. Connor was surprised by Evan's boldness and gave him a look but it held no real coldness in it.

"Nope. It's senior year, you've got to go to your classes to graduate. Please try to go to them. At least enough to pass." Evan pleaded with him.

"All right. I'll try" Evan smiled brightly before Connor added, "If, and only if, you agree to skip today with me and we go somewhere. Just today. I promise I'll be a good boy after today, I just can't deal with school today."

Evan thought for a moment and let his boldness continue. This would be good for Connor. If all he had to do was skip one day to get him to go to class it'd be worth it. Of course, he was worried about what the school would say to his mother but he planned to play it off as a "mental health day".

"It's a deal." Evan decided, holding out his hand for a handshake which Connor took in a very business-like manner. "But I'm still keeping this," Evan said sternly, holding out Connor's blue lighter to which Connor rolled his eyes at.