A/N: Inspired by the alternative opening for the first movie.

This year, Bob and Helen find themselves at the dreaded annual 4th of July neighborhood barbecue, because they need to assimilate, dammit, and unfortunately that means mingling with nosy suburban housewives and their equally annoying husbands.

Dash and Violet are with a sitter so the Parr parents can have their hour of (non)fun, and though they've just arrived, Helen - who is about six months pregnant for the third time - is already desperately counting down the minutes until she can get out of the stifling heat, park herself in front of a fan and forget the whole holiday even exists.

It's Independence Day, sure. Unless you're a Super, in which case the laws of freedom do not currently apply, but thank you for asking.

After a round of quick introductions, Helen watches as Bob is whisked over to the grills by a pack of aforementioned husbands. Not long after that, a trap closes around her, too, as a group of women fawn over her rounded form.

"How far along are you?"

"Have you and Robert picked out a name?"

"...Oh!"

Helen has swatted away an uninvited hand from her midsection. "Sorry," she says innocently, not sorry at all. Undeterred, the wives continue with their commentary.

"My gosh, Helen, you're glowing!"

"Actually, she looks a bit sweaty, doesn't she? Would you like to sit down, dear?"

"Helen, you've got to try Dr. Smith's Magic Stretch Mark Cream - it worked miracles after I had my Elsie. I've got some at home if you want me to bring it by one day," one woman says helpfully.

Helen lets out a short laugh, finally getting a word in. "That won't be necessary," she replies, perhaps sounding a little more cocky than she'd intended. Elastigirl, getting stretch marks? She resists the urge to eyeroll.

But the group is staring at her, and Helen realizes her mistake. Of course they don't have any idea. God.

"Um, because, I've already bought some," she fibs. "I've got several tubes, actually. Can't wait to try it out." She gives a nervous laugh.

Some of the women exchange a look. "Helen, dear, you haven't been applying it already? You really should have started as soon as you found out you were-"

That's enough. "Listen, I don't really think that's any of your business," she sneers, directing a glare at the petite blonde woman who's just spoken. "I'll have you know that it all turned out perfectly fine after my first two children, who, by the way, would never be so rude as to meddle in someone's personal life the way you all are."

Silence.

"I'll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself," she finishes.

With that, Helen leaves behind the group of slack-jawed ladies and storms off towards Bob, who doesn't look like he's having any more fun than she is.

"Let's get outta here," she says through her teeth, and he follows her lead, no questions asked.