A/N: Just to clarify a couple of things: in this AU Alice and Jasper are platonic companions and have never been married or mated to one another, and this story will only be Jasper's POV which is very subjective...he's unhinged because he's never been in love before and doesn't know how to act, plus he's not able to "read" Bella's emotions and that makes him more uncertain.

Also, this story will be short and I will be posting a chapter every day until it's finished. The mood I wanted to create was "glimpses" of what was happening – not elaborate detail. I'm trying to save energy for that for my other Jasper/Bella fic "Life Together."

Thanks for reading! Feedback - whether you like the story or not - is always appreciated!


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With Bella's acknowledgment that she remembered everything, I expected for us to have a private conversation...eventually. However, Bella avoided every opportunity to be alone with me, even though I followed her around like a puppy dog.

Bella adapted to being a vampire with ease. Perhaps it was because of her previous knowledge about our kind, or because she was the perfect addition to our family. Whatever it was, it was remarkable. Emmett had a new playmate with strength that rivaled his, Esme enjoyed having a new daughter that matched her temperament, Alice had a best friend, Carlisle had someone in whom he could invest his knowledge and wisdom. Rosalie was almost always with Emmett, and thus, spent time with Bella by default. She no longer had animosity towards Bella, but felt generally indifferent. It took Rosalie a long time to get to know people and I knew eventually she would get there with Bella.

Bella didn't have the temptation of humans, being so isolated in the Alaskan wilderness, but there were no newborn mood swings or irrational behavior. Of almost every vampire I knew, it took a full year before before he or she felt like themselves again, but Bella was instantly comfortable in her new skin. She even seemed to have more confidence. I had never seen anything like it.

Edward hadn't returned, despite repeated phone calls and messages. Rosalie was even calling him over a hundred times a day. She was tenacious like that. He continued to ignore us. After several weeks, Carlisle suggested the idea that a few of us go searching for him, but no one volunteered. I, for one, wasn't going to do it, and the others seemed to be enjoying Bella too much to be separated from her. I knew Edward left Carlisle and Esme for a ten year period, at one time, and I silently prayed he would take twice that long before he returned again. Alice was keeping tabs on Edward, and it looked like he was searching for someone, but he kept changing his mind and his future was blurry.

Six months after Bella's change, she still hadn't spoken directly to me. All we had were secret glances. I would be talking to Alice and I would catch Bella staring at me. She would hold her gaze for a couple of seconds, then look away. When she was arm wrestling with Emmett and laughing, she would see me starring at her. Sometimes she would smile. It was agonizing. I was becoming as frustrated as hell.

Carlisle became employed at a hospital in Anchorage. He worked the night shift, but he returned to us every morning, despite the long commute. With things going smoothly with newborn Bella, Esme and Alice decided to join Carlisle for a long weekend in Anchorage. Alice admitted she missed shopping and Esme missed privacy with her husband. I was left with Bella, Emmett and Rosalie.

Our weekend together, with just the four of us, was enjoyable. Emmett and Bella shared a special bond and it was amusing to see how they interacted with each other. We went skiing for most of the time, except for an extended hunting trip where Emmett taught Bella how to "properly" attack a Grizzly bear.

On Sunday evening, we were back at the house, waiting for the others to arrive from Anchorage. Emmett pulled me aside, with an anxious look on his face.

"Hey, bro, I know there's an unspoken rule that none of us will be alone with the newborn, but I need some alone time with Rosalie, if you know what I'm saying. We'll only be gone a few hours. Do you mind babysitting?"

On the outside, I acted indifferently, but on the inside I was full of excitement.

"Sure, whatever, it'll be fine," I responded. "Take however long you need."

"Thanks," Emmett smiled, slapping me on the back. He disappeared.

Bella and I were finally alone.

All this time I was waiting for her to initiate the conversation, or at least give me a sign she was open to it, but nothing had happened. I regretted not taking charge of the situation. It was so unlike me. I was finally going to confront her – ask her why she had been avoiding me. I returned to the living room to look for Bella. She was standing by the window and turned to face me as I entered the room. I was immediately shocked by the emotion radiating from her. It was intense, undiluted lust.

She stared at me for a moment, not saying a word. Since she had been changed, her emotions had been guarded. But, now she was being transparent. It was clear she was allowing me to feel what she was feeling.

"I want you," she spoke quietly, but confidently.

I didn't know how to respond. I was definitely surprised, and I couldn't resist sending waves of my own lust for her, months of frustration disappearing, only to be replaced with desire.

As soon as I took one step forward, Bella ran and threw her arms around me. When our lips met, it was as powerful, if not more so, than the first time we kissed. Bella kissed me as if I was air she needed to breathe.

"I need you," she whispered. "I need you now."

With her newborn strength, she pushed me to the floor, still kissing me, but also frantically trying to unbuckle my jeans.

"Woah," I cautioned, cupping her face with my hands. "Why the rush?"

Bella was alarmed. "You don't want me?" she asked, with a mixture of panic and shame.

I rolled us over and pinned her arms to the ground, asserting my dominance. What she just said was the vilest, most blasphemous thing I had ever heard. I kissed her deeply, pressing my hips into hers so she could feel my arousal.

"I want you," I said. "But, I want to love you the right way."

"Take me, now," she begged.

I didn't understand the urgency, but I wasn't going to deny her anything. Her wish was my command.

She unbuttoned my pants, pushing them down my legs, along with my underwear and I did the same for her. When I tried to unbutton her blouse, she grabbed my hands and guided them down to my member, guiding me into her.

I pulled her closer to me and began thrusting with speed. Bella screamed in pleasure, her fingers clawing into my back. I didn't have to be as gentle with her as I did when we made love when she was a human. I felt her surprise at the new level of intensity and she wrapped her legs around my waist, instinctively rocking her hips to the rhythm of my thrusts. We locked eyes for the entire encounter.

As we had before, we both climaxed at the same time. I collapsed on top of her, trying to steady my breathing. Damn, the release felt good, but our love making had been too quick. I didn't imagine our reunion to be so rushed like this. It disappointed me, but Bella seemed...happy.

"I've missed you," she admitted, closing her eyes, a smile of contentment on her face.

I left a trail of kisses down her neck, stopping at the crescent shaped scar on her neck that I had made when I changed her.

"I've missed you, too." I had so many questions, but suddenly a confrontation didn't feel appropriate after such an intimate act. I paused as I sent her waves of my love and relief she had finally opened up to me.

Bella sighed, her emotions confused. Now that I could feel them, they definitely reminded me of other newborn emotions I had experienced. Bella was putting a brave face in front of the family, but she was still a newborn. Her thirst was dominant and in general she felt very fragile and on edge. I tried to calm her and she received it.

"Jasper, I..."

Suddenly, we were interrupted by talking in the distance.

"Rosalie and Emmett are home?" we heard Esme ask, undoubtedly smelling the sex radiating from the house. "Should we wait a moment and give them more privacy?"

Bella looked at me in panic. We scrambled up off the floor, fixing our clothes. I kissed Bella and grabbed her hand. Although it was rushed, Bella and I had been reunited. We didn't need to hide our relationship from the family any more.

"Let's go tell the others," I encouraged, a stupid smile plastered across my face.

She let go of my hand. "No, I..."

"What?" I asked. Why was she hesitating?

I sensed her embarrassment and it hurt. She was ashamed of me. Of us.

"You should take a shower, otherwise they'll smell me all over you," I mumbled and raced out of the house into the woods.