Chapter 7: Something


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I sat in shock, not expecting Bella to be so honest. It was brutal.

Her eyes widened in panic. She shifted her body, so that she was straddling me, and cupped my face with her small hands. She leaned in closely.

"Because what I feel for you is so much stronger."

Bella closed her eyes and focused her emotions. For the first time, I felt her love for me. Not just lust or desire or adoration, I felt the truest of true love illuminating from her. My body began to shake due to the intensity of her feelings. I never thought I could be so unconditionally loved.

"Oh darlin'," I whispered, then crushed her mouth with a kiss, covering her body with mine, with the full intention of making love to her right then and there.

She kissed me passionately, but stopped me as I tried to undress her. For once, she was stopping me.

"Jasper, please wait, let me finish..." she insisted.

I kissed her deeply and she shuddered in pleasure, but I put my arm behind her and pulled her upright, her body still pressed against mine.

Bella tried to calm her breathing. She looked at me, worried. "I don't know if you're going to like what I have to say. Promise you won't leave."

"I promise."

She was nervous. "I do feel something for Edward."

"You love him," I stated blankly.

Bella frowned. "It's nothing like I feel for we have is incomparable. I don't know how to explain. Edward was my first love. What I felt for him was strong, but when I'm with you, he doesn't exist. I think I need to see him again, face to face, to fully understand."

I couldn't stop the hurt that flashed across my face. "You haven't made a choice?"

Bella shook her head. "It's not about choice. I need closure. I need the family to see us have closure. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense because I don't understand it myself. I'm just trying to be honest with you."

Fear began to overwhelm me again. I had security in knowing Bella loved me deeply, but was it enough to keep us together? What if Edward still had a hold on her? Memories of them together flashed through my mind and I cringed.

"What if he still wants you? He only left because he wanted to keep you safe."

"Edward was very convincing in the forest that day. He doesn't want me. I expect he may be upset that I was changed. He said I didn't belong in your world."

I suppressed a growl. "Bella, you always belonged in our world, with us...with me. I know you said you were struggling as a newborn, but I've never seen anyone transition with such natural ease. It was like you were born to be a vampire. Edward is an idiot."

Bella gave a small smile, encouraged by my words. "He's not an idiot," she corrected.

I resisted rolling my eyes. Her defending him, even slightly, after the pain he put her through, was frustrating.

"Do you remember how heartbroken you were, Bella? I know you remember what he said to you, but do you remember how that made you feel?" I was tempted to show her the feelings of devastation I felt when I came to her house that night in Forks. But, there was no way I could hurt like that.

She touched my cheek with her hand. "You healed me, Jasper. I told you that. I remember being left in the woods, catatonic, brokenhearted beyond belief, but the emotions behind it all are completely gone. It's like a scar that's been healed. I see that it left a mark, but it doesn't hurt anymore."

I didn't know what to say. I was relieved she had no lingering heartbreak, but I was amazed that I had been able to help her recover like that. It was unbelievable.

"When we were finally alone," she added, "I was so eager to be with you again because I knew that once you touched me, I'd feel at peace. Every time we made love, every time you kissed me, held me in your arms, I was drawn closer to you and further away from Edward."

"But, you still need to see him?" I asked, trying not to show my impatience.

"Yes, I do."

"I can't lose you, Bella," I whispered. I stood up and pulled her to me. When our bodies touched again, it felt like coming home. I could tell she felt the same way, as she molded herself against me.

"Edward may have been your first love, but Bella, you are my first love. I should have told you how I felt a long time ago, but I didn't. I'll always regret that. Every moment I've spent with you has been the happiest of my life. Whatever you decide, I will always want you." Using all my power of influence, I wrapped Bella in my feelings of love, desire and eternal commitment to her.

Bella was on the verge of sobbing again and put her head against my chest. "I wish this wasn't so complicated. I wish we could just run away together..."

I lifted her head to look into her eyes. "We can, you know. We could leave right now. Go anywhere you want..." I held her hand and lifted it to my lips for a kiss.

She sighed. "I need closure. And...I want you to be able to have all of me. I want us to have a fresh start. We can't do that if we run away."

There was wisdom in her words. I felt less insecure knowing how she felt. But, allowing her to see Edward again was a risk. If I confronted Edward, I would at least know how he felt about Bella. After a year of wondering, examining every memory I had of Edward and human Bella together, I believed that he did care about her. He felt protective of her, definitely.

Maybe Edward even loved Bella, but not enough to stay with her, not enough to change her into a vampire. Yet, it didn't really matter what Edward felt because if Bella truly loved him on any level, I knew Edward would welcome her back with open arms. Who wouldn't want Bella? She was amazing.

Suddenly, I caught the scent of two familiar vampires – Rosalie and Emmett. Bella noticed it too and looked into my eyes. Our embrace was very intimate and anyone who saw us would not doubt the nature of our relationship. It definitely wasn't brother and sister.

"What's this I hear about running away?" Rosalie asked, appearing in front of us, a smirk on her face.

Emmett looked at us and laughed. "So, we finally catch you two!"

"Finally?" Bella asked nervously, glancing at me. I was as shocked as she was.

Emmett laughed even harder. "Did you really think you could keep a secret in this family?"

"You know about us?" I asked, with surprise.

"Of course," Rosalie replied, still smirking. "Emmett and I actually had a bet about how long it would take before you were caught together. I thought it would be much sooner, but you guys were more evasive than I predicted."

"How long have you known?"

Rosalie glanced at Emmett. "About five months? The weekend Esme and Alice went to Anchorage. When they returned, Esme apologized for "interrupting" me and Emmett and I immediately realized it wasn't us she was talking about."

I felt Bella's embarrassment. If she was human, she would have blushed.

"The others know, too, then?" I asked.

Emmett shook his head. "No, we let Esme think it was us."

We stood in silence for a moment.

"Well, this is awkward," I said, stating the obvious. "Why are you here?"

"Edward has arrived. We offered to go look for you," Rosalie explained.

"We thought it was better if we found you, than Edward," Emmett grinned. "Although I can't wait to see his face when he finds out he lost his girl."

Bella tensed and I knew she was thinking about the complexity of the situation. Rosalie and Emmett obviously weren't upset. I felt no sense of betrayal from them. In fact, they seemed happy for us. I knew Bella would be encouraged by this. I asked the question she was too timid to ask.

"Are you angry with us?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Why would we be angry at you? Do you feel any anger coming from us?"

Emmett shrugged."If we're angry at anyone it's Edward. How could he stay away from Bella this long when she needed him most? He pretty much abandoned her and abandoned the family, too. Edward is the one who broke up with you, Bella. As far as I'm concerned, you are a single lady and be with whoever you choose. I'm just glad you kept it in the family!" Emmett raised his hand to give me a high five.

I wasn't in the mood to goof around and gave Emmett a look. He grinned and lowered his hand.

"So, are you running away?" Rosalie asked.

I shook my head. "No, we're not. We thought about it, but Bella wants to see Edward."

Emmett radiated anticipation. "This is going to be awesome!"

Bella was starting to be nervous. I glanced at Emmett and he followed my gaze to Bella. He got the message and sobered up.

"Jasper, Bella – we support you. Jasper, you're my bro. Bella – the family wouldn't be the same without you. Whatever happens with Edward, don't let it tear you away from the family."

Emmett spoke with sincerity and Rosalie nodded with him in agreement. It seemed to calm Bella, knowing she had their support.

"Thank you, Emmett," I replied.

Bella squeezed my hand.

"Let's just get this over with, okay?" she mumbled, brimming with anxiety.

Rosalie and Emmett turned to start running towards the estate. Bella and I followed.

As we were running, I asked her for a favor.

"Would you do something for me?"

"Anything," she replied quickly.

"Would you not hide your emotions from me when you see Edward? I want to know how you're feeling."

"You know I can do that?" she asked surprised.

"Yes."

Bella looked at me shyly. "I don't fully understand it, but it's like I have a shield...when I feel like I have to protect myself, I surround myself with it, when I feel safe, it goes down. And...I think I can do more, but I'm not sure. Do you think I have a gift like you?"

I nodded. "Yes. Definitely. We can talk about it more later, but it's just important to me that I feel what you're feeling. I won't influence you, unless you want me to..."

She grinned. "I think I'll be okay, but if I need help, I know you'll be there for me."

I immediately stopped and pulled her into my arms.

"I'll always be there for you, Bella," I promised, leaning down to kiss her. She responded eagerly, whimpering at my touch, running her fingers through my hair.

It happened so quickly. A new scent, a scuffle, overwhelming shock.

"Bella? Jasper? What are you doing?" a voice in the darkness asked.

It was Edward.