Hello guys, this is another one shot, which is based on before Cal died and was suggested by guest who said " I know these are meant to be more centred around Ethan but could you possibly do one where Cal is upset or scared or something and Ethan looks after him" so here it is hope this is what you wanted and if you enjoy please review , it's always appreciated so I know what you think and if you have any one shot request they are always welcome xxx

ive failed again

Caleb knight had just experienced one of the worst days he had faced in a while, he had been late to work again which meant Connie had been breathing down his neck and then a little girl had been wheeled into resus as she had been involved in an RTC and as much as Cal tried to save her and be a good doctor, he had failed and the little girl had died shortly after arriving. Any death makes Cal somehow doubt his ability's and reasoning to why he became a doctor but when it was a child who had so much of life to experience it was always a lot worse in many cases. What didn't help Cal was that early in the morning he had gotten into a fight with Ethan which resulted in him being late but now it meant he had to face this tragic consequence of his incompetence alone. He was all alone, nobody could tell how this had affected him and even if they had Cal had made up his mind up ,it was all over.

Leaving half way through his shift had been easier than he had thought, nobody needed him or wanted him there so what would it matter if he disappeared for an hour or two. Entering the pub, Cal walked over and slumped down in his normal seat as he ordered as many shots as he could and drank them one after another until he physically felt sick. The man behind the bar gave a concerning glare but nevertheless carried on serving him. As Cal was getting to his last few shots a beautiful, blue eyed,blonde appeared next to him "rough day?" She questioned In an Irish accent "Rough lifetime!" He slurred looking into the piercing blue eyes as she laughed at him " it can't be that bad as a stripper?" She questioned looking at his costume as Cal looked at her confused until his eyes met with hers "it's not a costume, the scrubs I'm a doctor at Holby City ED, well I'm meant to be anyway" he told her sadly but she still wasn't convinced "So how come your sitting here getting wasted, when ya should be treating patients?" She asked intrigued by the handsome man just inches away for her "Like I said it's been a rough lifetime, I lost a patient a little girl, she was about six" he said sadly looking down at the floor as she returned the sad gaze "Let me buy ya a drink doctor knight" she said looking at his badge "How about you tell me your name first?" He asked her "Caitlin how about yourself?" She questioned him "Caleb but you can call me Ca-" he said his usual line but was interrupted as Ethan stormed into the pub walking over to Cal angrily "Caleb come with me now!" Ethan shouted at his brother as Cal just pouted "No, no Ethan I'm just having fun with Carly!" Cal slurred drunk "Look at you Caleb your a drunken mess, what the hell has gone on?" Ethan questioned as Caitlin piped up "he said something about a little girl dying and feeling useless I think?" She contribute "Thank you Car-?" Ethan questioned "It's Caitlin but your colleague obviously needs help so I'll leave you but here's my number just in case" she said handing it over to Ethan as he left the pub with Cal in his arms.

When they arrived home and Cal was feeling more sober and more like himself. Ethan sat down next to him knowing they were either going to have a massive row or something else. "How you feeling Cal?" Ethan asked his brother who was struggling to stay awake "great just great," he said sarcastically "Caitlin told me why you were in the pub!" Ethan said hoping his brother would remember the girl who was with him in the pub. "I don't want to talk about it, Ethan" Cal said warning his brother not to go any further however knowing Ethan was going to make him talk. "it's hard when anyone dies but especially a child you feel like you could do more but the truth is you did everything possible" Ethan reasoned with his brother "I don't know what to do, so I just drink it all away, I can't do this anymore I can't be the doctor that I need to be, I'm scared I'm going to fail Ethan, be the failure dad knew I was going to be!" He said sobbing slightly as Ethan just looked at his brother and held him tight "oh Cal it's ok, I'm not going anywhere, look at me it will get better I promise!" Ethan told him "Look at me I'm pathetic I can't even be a proper big brother I get in stupid fights with the one person who will be there through it all, I'm sorry for this morning nibbles but your going to have to get used to this because you've got me for life, no matter what" Cal said knowing he would get through this with his brother by his side.

hope you like it until next time xxx