First chapter of 2023! As always, a massive thank you to Ambush99 for her wonderful betaing skills.

Chapter 14

"Potter."

James froze. He was sure he hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't done any pranks. He had kept his head down and worked through the tasks McGonagall had assigned. McGonagall had nodded and offered a rare smile in his direction. In fact, he had won ten points for Gryffindor. So, what was it? Unless. He swallowed. Unless something had happened to Sirius. He slowly turned to face his professor.

"Yes Professor," James said politely.

Professor McGonagall looked at James Potter carefully before clearing her throat. "As you probably know Mr B-, sorry," she said, correcting herself just in time. "Sorry, Sirius will be released from the hospital wing this afternoon."

"Yeah," James replied, looking down at his feet.

"Mr Potter, aren't you happy about this?" McGonagall questioned.

"I am Professor," James replied standing up, but at the same time nervously shoving his hands in his pockets. "It's just, well. Don't you think it's too soon?! He's still so tired! He's in pain!"

"Mr Potter, the healers know far more than we do, and they think it's time," McGonagall replied pointedly.

"Or maybe they don't know what's wrong with him and they don't want the responsibility," James suggested.

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Mr Potter, it is not my area of expertise."

"So, you think I'm right?"

"Mr Potter, I'm head of transfiguration, not a healer."

James sighed. "I want Sirius out of the hospital wing, but he's still so tired. He is still in pain. I'm not sure."

McGonagall sighed. The student in front of her reflected her own concerns. "Mr Potter!" she said sharper than she intended to. "Mr Potter, I came to tell you I have had you excused from Divination."

"I'm sorry Professor," James replied, frowning, not quite understanding what his Head of House had said. "I'm excused from Divination?"

"Well," McGonagall started stiffly, as she turned her head and dapped her eyes. "I thought Sirius might want some peace and quiet when he left the hospital wing."

"Yeah," James replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets again.

"You'd rather go to Divination?"

"No, no," James replied quickly, straightening up. "Thank you, Professor," he said, looking down and away.

"And I expect there will be no pranks."

I wish, James thought. I wish, because then my life would be normal. I wouldn't be dealing with this hellish situation. Sirius would be fine. He would be hiding around the corner giggling. But Sirius wasn't. He was still ill and in pain in the hospital wing. "No Professor," he finally managed, shaking his head. "Sirius and I will just head to the dorm."

"Good," Professor McGonagall replied tightly.

James nodded slowly. Was it him, or was old McGonagall acting a little emotionally? "Thanks Professor," he added quickly, not wanting the conversation to go on any longer than necessary. He found a brief smile, before quickly turning on his heel and heading towards the Gryffindor common room. Honestly, he didn't know what to think. He desperately wanted Sirius back in the dormitory, but that would mean Sirius would have to go back to lessons. Sirius didn't seem to be able to stay awake for more than thirty minutes at a time. He was struggling to see how Sirius would be able to stay awake through an hour and a half worth of lessons. Then what was going to happen? The teachers would probably give Sirius a detention for something he couldn't help. So, why did the healers think it was okay to release Sirius from the hospital wing? He was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't realise he'd walked into the dormitory until Pete rushed up to him.

"So?" Pete said, as he rushed up to his friend.

"What?" James managed, confused.

"What did they say? Can we visit Sirius?"

"No, they think it's too soon, but they are releasing him this afternoon."

"What?" Pete replied, frowning. "I don't get it. He's too ill to see two extra people, but they think he's well enough to go back to lessons?!"

"I don't get it either. He can barely stay awake for more than half an hour, and now they think it's okay to send him back to school. It's stupid. I don't get why the healers aren't letting you and Moony see him either. It's not as if you would disturb him or anything. All you would do is sit there and chat to him. Try to cheer him up. So, no, Pete, I don't get it," James sighed. "It's stupid and doesn't make sense. I want to see him. I want him back with us. But not like this."

Pete nodded. "I'm sure they have their reasons, but no, it doesn't make any sense to me either. When are they releasing him?"

"During the last lesson of the day. McGonagall has given me Divination off to pick him up."

"What? Seriously?! Are you sure?! McGonagall?! As in our beloved, slightly scary, very strict head of house, who docked Gryffindor twenty points because you dropped a mouse down Avery's back last Transfiguration lesson."

"The very same," James replied, with a slight smile.

"Wow. Well, I guess women of her age can get a little emotional."

"I know, it was weird, Pete. Her voice got all tight and shaky."

"Well, she does secretly like you and Sirius."

"What? Don't be weird, Pete. McGonagall doesn't like me and Sirius. We mess around too much for her liking. Nah, she likes Moony and Evans."

"No, she likes you two. You two piss around but you know your shit. She knows that, she's not stupid. It's not like she can show she likes you two. It would be like she approves of your crazy stuff," Pete explained, grinning slightly as he watched James' confused expression.

"What? Nah, that's fucked up, Pete. McGonagall tolerates us," James replied, frowning, utterly confused.

"For someone so smart, you can be really dense sometimes, mate," Pete laughed. "Is it a bad thing? It's not as if she loves you. What? Do you have a crush on her?"

"What?! Piss off, Pete," James laughed, lightly hitting the shorter boy's shoulder. "Now you are being really weird. McGonagall is like, well she's ancient and she's a teacher!"

Pete laughed. "I know mate, I was just pissing with you. But she does like you two and she's probably worried about Sirius."

"I guess so. I just don't know what to do."

"How is he?"

James sighed and rubbed his face. "He's different. He's really quiet. Like he barely speaks."

"I guess it makes sense. He's tired and in pain, and then there is whatever happened to him. I can ask my dad about it if you like."

James slowly nodded. "Yeah, I don't know, maybe." He stopped and sighed again. "Do you think he'll be the same again?"

Pete shrugged. "I don't know, mate. I haven't seen him since, well, since before the incident. But it's Sirius. You said they didn't think he would survive and now they are releasing him from hospital. If anyone can get through this, it's Sirius. And he has us. We will get him through it."

"Yeah, I guess. I just don't think he trusts me anymore. To be honest, I don't blame him with all the shit I did. Or more like the shit I didn't do. Anyone with half a brain would have questioned it. You questioned it."

"Cheers, mate," Pete replied sarcastically, with a slight roll of his eyes.

"Shit, sorry mate. I didn't mean it like that," James apologised.

"I know. I know," Pete replied, holding up his hand. "I think some people noticed, the vast majority didn't, but the big thing is, no one acted on it. Look, I doubt Sirius will want to have supper in the hall. Why don't me and Moony nick some food from the kitchens? We can chill out here and if Sirius does want to have supper in the hall, we can have it later."

"Cheers, Pete. You are a really good friend. I don't think I say that enough."

Pete rolled his eyes again. "Mate, stop being weird. You're acting like a girl."

"Piss off," James laughed. "Right, I guess we better get to Potions. I am hoping old Sluggy won't ask me to join his bloody Slug Club again."

"Isn't Lily part of the Slug Club?" Pete asked innocently, grinning as he raised his eyebrows.

"Pete!" James laughed, pushing his friend.

Ooo

James found his pace slowing as he made his way to the hospital. It wasn't as if he was nervous. Okay, maybe he was. It was just, oh he didn't know. He was visiting his best mate. He was the same friend he had abandoned. The same friend probably didn't trust him and to be honest, he didn't blame Sirius. He stopped and nervously fingered his bag. He had brought a change of clothes, shoes and a robe. He had no idea what Sirius had, but as far as he was concerned, his things were Sirius' things now.

"James, do you want to come in?"

James looked up and found a small smile. "Thank you. How is he?"

"He's okay," Madam Pomfrey replied, with a tight smile.

James nodded. 'Great,' he thought. 'Another person who thinks Sirius shouldn't be released from the hospital wing. If Madam Pomfrey thought Sirius shouldn't be released, then why were they releasing him?' He pushed the thoughts from his mind and tried to focus on the task in hand. Sirius. "Okay," he managed. "Thank you."

"You two need anything, let me know," Madam Pomfrey finished.

"Thank you," James said again, before heading slowly down the hospital wing to Sirius. He paused for a moment, before raising a hesitant hand to the screens and 'knocked'. "Sirius, you decent mate?"

Sirius looked up slowly. His whole body felt heavy. His eyes felt as though they were weighed down with weights. He didn't know how he was going to get through a lesson, let alone a day. And then there was him. He was dangerous. The healers had said so. When he was in the hospital wing, he was isolated from his fellow students. But now, he was going to be with them. What if he performed accidental magic and someone got hurt, or worse killed? He wasn't safe to be around. Maybe. He stopped. He was too tired to think about anything right now.

"Yeah, I'm decent," Sirius finally managed.

"Hey," James said quietly, as he walked in and dropped the bag onto the bed. "So, I'm here to bust you out of here."

"Yeah," Sirius replied, not knowing what else to say.

James sank down on the bed next to his friend. "Pete and Moony are going to nick food from the kitchens. I wasn't sure you wanted to have supper in the hall."

"Not really," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "Thanks mate. I'm sorry for being like this."

"Like what? Means I can talk more," James replied, grinning, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Sirius found a small smile. "Yeah, you're pretty good at that."

"Thank you," James replied, sweeping into a mock bow.

"So, what's-" Sirius stopped and looked down for a moment as he tried to collect himself. "Aren't you supposed to be in a lesson or something?"

"Only Divination."

"Mate, I told you it was a waste of time, but aren't you going to get a detention or something when McGonagall discovers you skived."

"Ah, my friend. Old McGonagall allowed me to skip it so I could bust you out of here."

Sirius frowned. "What?"

"She has a soft spot for you, mate. I swear she was about to burst into tears. I'm telling you mate, it was bloody awkward."

Sirius shook his head. "That's just weird."

"Tell me about it. Anyway, I don't know what clothes you have, so I've brought some of mine."

Sirius rubbed his face. The thought of moving. Doing anything. It was just exhausting. "Thanks mate."

"So, as you aren't going to the hall and no one will be around, I was thinking you could just wear one of my cloaks. Save getting changed, only to get re-changed," James suggested.

"Thanks, mate."

"No problem. It's what mates do for each other. Come on, let's get you out of here and back to our dorm. Then we can start planning things," James said, as he pulled out his spare cloak.

"James, I don't think I will be up for any pranks."

"I know'" James replied, waving his hand. "Not now, but in the future. We really need to plan some. We haven't done anything for a while."

"Yeah, it would be good," Sirius replied, forcing a laugh for good measure.

"Excellent! Are you ready?" James replied, grinning from ear to ear. He waited as Sirius slowly stood and made his way to the door. "So, I was thinking. You remember when we charmed the Slytherin's water and turned it red?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, grinning, as he slowly made it down one of the many corridors. "They freaked out as they thought it was blood."

"Exactly. And what is the other Gryffindor colour?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Mate, I smashed my wrist up, not my brain. It's bloody gold."

"Yeah," James replied, nodding, his grin growing. "What will that look like?"

"I dunno, white wine?" Sirius suggested.

"No mate, it'll look like bloody piss!"

Sirius laughed. "Okay, it's a tame one but a good one to get us going again." He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes, leaning against the wall.

"Padfoot, are you alright?" James asked, his concern growing.

"Yeah, I'm just tired, that's all."

"That's cool. We can sit here and plan another prank. I've got the map with me, so we will avoid everyone we want to," James reassured. He took a quick look at the map, before launching into his latest plan for an elaborate prank.

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, they arrived at the dormitory. "We've made it, mate," James said, as they slowly made their way to Sirius' bed. James eased Sirius down onto the bed, having been taking most of his weight for the last part of the journey.

"Thanks, mate," Sirius sighed, as he sank down and closed his eyes for a moment. He'd have barely made it from the Hospital Wing to the Gryffindor Tower without his best mate basically carrying him, how the hell was he supposed to survive a full day at school? Sod that, how was he supposed to survive a bloody lesson?

"Not a problem," James replied, adding a smile as he sat down next to Sirius. He paused for a moment. He knew Sirius had fight in him, but was this a step too far? He had barely made it to the dorm. "You okay, mate?"

"Yeah, just a bit tired."

James nodded. "Look, it'll be a while before Remus and Pete get here. Why don't you get some sleep? I need to catch up on my stupid Charms essay."

"When's it due?"

"Tomorrow."

Sirius grinned. "I'm glad not that much has changed. Although you are doing it a bit in advance mate, we usually finish them in the corridor outside the classroom."

"No Padfoot, I still have to finish off my Transfiguration essay and my Divination essay."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "The Divination essay is a piece of piss, I did yours for you last term and got an O."

"Exactly, a piece of piss," James replied, grinning. "Seriously though, get some sleep before Pete and Remus arrive. They will want to talk to you, and you know how excited Pete gets."

"Yeah," Sirius replied, his eyes growing heavy again. "Still it's going to be good seeing them again."

"Yeah, it will be good to be the four of us again. And we totally need to plan more pranks," James replied excitedly. He looked down, waiting for a response, only to find Sirius had fallen asleep. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The short walk back from the hospital wing had completely taken it out of his friend. How did the teachers expect him to just go to lessons? He wondered if Sirius would ever recover. He wondered if Sirius could ever be the same again. He sighed again and rubbed his face. There was nothing he could do. He picked up a roll of parchment and made a start on his Charms essay.

Ooo

"So, have you seen him?" Pete asked in a rushed, hushed voice, as he caught up with Remus in the corridor.

"No," Remus replied, shaking his head as they made their way down to the kitchen.

"How was he the last time you saw him?"

"Umm," Remus started. He closed his eyes for a moment. "He wasn't good. It was obvious he was really ill. But then when Flitwick and I finally got to them, I swear." Remus stopped again, before continuing in a shaking voice. "I swear I thought he was dead."

"That bad?"

Remus nodded. "Yeah."

"Was it me, or did James seem a bit off when he told us Sirius was being released?"

"Yeah, I got that," Remus replied quietly, as they made it into the kitchen.

"James was really worried. He didn't think Sirius should be released. Don't get me wrong, I want to see him and all, but not in this way. Not if he's really not up to it. It's stupid, they think he's well enough to go back to school and lessons etc, but he's not well enough that me and you can visit him."

"I'm sure Madam Pomfrey has her reasons."

"I know you know her better than I do, but still. It's not right," Pete said, shaking his head as he thanked a couple of house elves for their food package. "Do you think this will be enough?"

"I don't know, depends on how hungry you are," Remus replied lightly, with an easy smile.

"Oh, piss off, Moony! Come on, let's head up to the dorm," Pete replied, grinning. "Let's welcome Padfoot home!"

Remus found a smile, as he stuck his head out and checked the corridor. "Wormy, we're clear."

"It would have been easier with the map," Pete commented, as he climbed through the hole. "But I get why James needed it. I'm guessing Padfoot probably doesn't want to see people, especially not his fucked up cousin."

"Pete!" Remus exclaimed, as he hurried down the corridor. "You shouldn't say things like that!"

"What?! She's bloody evil and crazy! She beat the shit out of Sirius! She's basically a death eater! How the fuck can you defend her?!" Pete snapped, throwing his hands in the air, nearly dropping the food.

"No Pete, it's just-"

"Mate, you of all people should understand this. The way our society treats people like you, just because of your furry problem. The death eaters would hunt you down. They will hunt me down. James might be safe, but I doubt Sirius will be. Wake up Moony!" Pete practically growled, as he eyeballed his friend.

Remus took a breath. "Pete, I dunno, it's just. Fuck, I don't know. I know death eaters are, well, have evil ideas. I know Bellatrix is unstable. And I know Sirius is a loyal person. He didn't deserve what happened to him."

"Then, why do you defend that evil git?!"

"I don't!" Remus bit back. "Look, can we forget this and head back to the dorm and see Sirius?"

"Yeah," Pete replied, taking a breath. "Just, I dunno. It's just, Sirius isn't evil. He fucked up, but his cousin is evil as hell."

Remus nodded, not quite agreeing with Pete's more extreme view. "Shall we make our way up to the dorm?"

"Sure," Pete said finally, casting Remus a look, wondering if he should drop the topic or not.

"Good, let's go," Remus replied, as he made his way up to the dorm. "Hey James," he said quietly, as he entered the dorm. He watched James look up, before he put a finger to his lips and pointed to the lump next to him, whom Remus could only guess was Sirius. Remus nodded, before steering an overly-excitable Peter to their beds.

"Moony, what the hell!" Pete growled, as he was steered away from James.

"Pete!" Remus hissed. "Did you see who was on the bed next to James?"

"Oh," Pete replied, his mouth becoming very wide. "Oh, but Sirius has only just left the hospital wing. I think this proves our point. Sirius should still be in the hospital wing."

"Or maybe he's just tired and stressed. He's been in the hospital wing, and he knows what the school is like. He knows there's probably a million rumours going around about him, and he doesn't know what they are. Then he has to deal with them and the people who made them up. There's just a lot to deal with."

"Are you still talking about Sirius?" Pete asked with a raised eyebrow. Despite his shortcomings in academia, his ability to read people was certainly one of his stronger attributes.

"Anyway, I think we should just get started on our Care of Magical Creatures essay," Remus replied, avoiding Pete's question.

Pete continued to look at Remus with raised eyebrows but chose not to question it. "Sure, I need all the time I can get." Without a further word, Pete sat down and pulled out a piece of parchment, his gaze never leaving the lump next to James.

James didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but he knew two things. It was now dark outside, and he had only written two lines of his Charms essay. All he had been able to think about was Sirius. He was so glad Sirius was back with them and he wanted to look after his friend, but the trouble was, he didn't know how. Sirius was far sicker than someone he could ever imagine Madam Pomfrey releasing from the hospital wing. Why were they being so cruel? How was Sirius supposed to go to lessons like normal, when he had barely made it back from the hospital wing?

"Hey Padfoot," James said quietly, as he noticed his friend stirring.

"James?" Sirius managed groggily.

"Yeah mate," James replied with a smile. "You, okay?"

"Better than before," Sirius replied, as he slowly sat up. He blinked a couple of times, as his eyes slowly focused. "Thanks for getting me here."

"No problem. Are you up for some food?"

"Yeah. Do you know what Pete and Remus managed to steal from the kitchens?"

"No, but knowing Pete, it will be good," James replied, grinning. "Are you ready for me to get them over here? You know Pete will be-"

"Pete will be Pete," Sirius replied, cutting James off and finishing his sentence. "Can you give me a minute?"

"Sure."

"You said people were talking."

"Yeah, the normal crappy rumours. You know, you went on a bender. You got in a fight. Nothing major." James looked at Sirius. "Mate, it will all blow over in a couple of days. Someone will blow up the Potions classroom or get a Howler or something, and that'll be the next thing for the school to talk about."

"Yeah, I guess so," Sirius replied quietly.

"Padfoot, don't worry. We will help you. People will only talk about you for a couple of days max. Don't worry about the lessons, I will help you. We've got Potions first thing. I will sit next to you. I will cut up all of the ingredients for you. I will take notes for you. We will figure it out, just like we figured out how to help Moony," James said, as he wrapped an arm around Sirius's shoulders. "We are brothers. We will always have each other's backs."

Sirius found a tight smile, as he thought of Remus. "Yeah, thanks," he managed. "Shall we disturb the other two and see what Pete has managed to steal from the kitchens?"

"Sure! Yo Moony! Pete! Stop being bloody swots and get over here. We're hungry!"

Pete looked up from his sorry attempt at his essay and grinned. "Sirius!" he yelled, before throwing his parchment down and running across the room. "Mate! I've missed you!" Pete threw his arms around his friend. "It's so good to have you back!"

"Hi Pete," Sirius replied, as he gingerly returned Pete's hug. "How's the term been? How was your Christmas?"

"Good. Your-" Pete started and stopped himself in time. "Mate, it's good to have you back!"

"Thanks Pete," Sirius replied, his smile slowly growing.

"Hey Sirius," Remus said, as he walked over, big grin in place.

"Hi Moony," Sirius replied nervously, looking down and away, not quite sure of Remus' reaction.

"It's great to have you back. Prongs has been a complete nightmare and you are the only one who can control him!" Remus exclaimed.

Pete looked between Remus and Sirius, sensing the awkwardness between the two friends. "Come on guys, stop this! Let's eat!"

Ooo

Sirius curled up and closed his eyes. He had enjoyed the food, but more than that he had enjoyed the sense of normality with his friends. He knew what he had done would permanently change things between the four of them, but there was a sense that things would return to normal. However, he knew they wouldn't. He knew he was going to die. Whether it be from the poison, his parents' hands, that monster's hand, or his own accidental hand. He could accept his own death. He hadn't chosen the path he had been forced on, but he had now accepted it. What he couldn't accept was how dangerous he was. His accidental magic was going to get someone killed at some point. He had to leave. He couldn't put his friends in danger for a moment longer. The trouble was he was too tired. It would have to wait for a little longer, then he would run away. He wasn't sure where, but somewhere. Anywhere. Anywhere far away from his friends. He needed to keep them safe. He felt his eyes grow heavy again, as he reluctantly gave into what he knew was going to be a nightmare-plagued sleep.