Always on my mind

One week later, Shelagh and Trixie stood in line at the entrance of Nairobi International Conference Centre. They were waiting to register as participants of the regional HIV/AIDS in Mothers and Infants conference. It was organized by the German Development Cooperation as a means to bring together development practitioners from across the region to learn about successful approaches in care and treatment of the deadly disease.

As every event like this, it was also an important opportunity for networking and for socializing – even though Shelagh usually skipped these parts if possible. She enjoyed talking about her work with anyone she met in between the sessions, but she shied away from small talk and even more from going for drinks and spending long nights in bars or dance clubs.

After having received their badges and other materials, the two women went to the main lecture hall in order to secure themselves two seats for the opening session. Just then, Shelagh's phone rang. She looked at the screen and murmured, irritated: "Dr Turner?" Trixie looked at her, slightly confused.

Shelagh spoke for a short time, ended the call and said: "Dr Turner will be running late. He asks us to keep him a seat."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "This man is such a mess," she complained. "I mean, I like him, and he does a very good job at clinic, but he is so disorganized. I really don't know how he manages without his wife."

"Trixie," Shelagh scolded, "This is none of our business."

"Oh Shelagh, you are too proper for this world. I don't mean to gossip, honestly. I am just stating the facts."

The two took their seats near an aisle so that the delayed doctor would find them easily. He arrived about 45 minutes into the opening session.

"Thank you very much for saving me a seat," he whispered to them while sitting down. "I apologize for being late." Both Nonnatuns looked at him, Trixie slightly amused while Shelagh looked genuinely happy.

Later, the three ate their lunch together before dispersing to different panel discussions. Before leaving, Patrick had suggested they should take coffee together afterwards and he was secretly happy to only meet Shelagh alone at the cafeteria at the agreed time.

"Where is Trixie?" he asked, feigning interest in order to conceal his delight at getting to spend some time alone with Shelagh.

"She met a former colleague and they went out to get some air. She will be back for the next session, I think."

"Good," Patrick said, "Well, good for her, to meet a friend, I mean," he quickly added after noticing Shelagh's slightly confused expression.

"Should we sit somewhere?" he changed the topic.

"Yes, let's go over there by the window," Shelagh replied thankfully. She agreed when Patrick suggested he fetch them coffee and smiled when he returned with coffee and two slices of cake.

"This probably won't be able to remotely compete with Bee's cakes, but I could use something sugary to keep my spirits up," he said. "And you need to eat, too," he said while placing cake and coffee in front of her. "You never sit still, you must burn three times the amount of calories of an average human being," he added in an affectionate voice.

Shelagh chuckled and happily took a sip from her cup.

They sat in silence for a while, until Patrick who had spent the past moments desperately seeking for something to say to end the silence, said: "So, what are your plans while being here?"

"What do you mean?" Shelagh asked.

"Well, whom do you want to meet, for example? I mean this is such a big networking show, you certainly have some plans in this department?"

"Oh, well, I mainly came here because we were requested to present our approach in home-based care. I hope I get some contacts we can build on, but I am afraid I am not much of a networker," Shelagh replied slightly embarrassed.

Patrick, feeling sorry for having embarrassed her, quickly stated: "Oh well, I am not particularly good at it either. I only want to meet this guy from DFID to discuss the TB programme. You know, they assigned a new desk officer to our programme again. I don't know why every time I speak to them, I have a new contact person," he complained.

When Shelagh nodded politely, he cursed at himself internally. She would never publicly complain the way he just did. She was just too polite. Thus, in a desperate attempt to change the topic, he asked: "Where are you staying at?"

"We are at the A.C.K. Guesthouse," she replied.

Of course, Patrick thought, members of Nonnatus House never went for the fancy hotels but would rather stay at a simple guesthouse, like the Anglican Church of Kenya Guesthouse.

"I am staying at the Hilton," he said apologetically. "They had a conference package," he added. "Would you – ?" he began but stopped abruptly. He wanted to ask her to have dinner with him but then lost his courage. She would certainly decline. Patrick faintly remembered that they always ate together at those Christian guesthouses and, moreover, he did not want her to feel overwhelmed by his presence.

But if he was honest to himself, in reality he was most afraid of her turning down his offer.

"Would I…?" Shelagh looked at him curiously.

"Oh, never mind," he waved his previous words aside, "Nothing important."

Shelagh raised her eyebrows but decided not to bother about his occasional confusion. They chatted animatedly for a while about their work, about Timothy and the food at conferences, until it was time for the next session and they parted ways.

The next morning, Patrick lingered in front of the entrance, smoking a few too many cigarettes while waiting for Shelagh and Trixie to arrive. When the two women walked towards the entrance, he greeted them heartily.

"Dr Turner, you are early," Trixie teased. Patrick chose to ignore it and smiled at her.

"So big day for you? Presentation ready?" he asked, smiling encouragingly at Shelagh.

Shelagh raised her eyebrows. "Do you want a sneak preview?" she asked teasingly. Patrick was at a momentary loss of words. He had hardly ever experienced her bantering and he liked it. It added another facet to his growing mosaic of adoration of her.

"Erm, well, how about you tell me the main points over lunch today?" he asked.

"I thought you were here to network," Shelagh mocked. "You should have lunch with someone else than us old ladies from back home."

"Well, truth be told, you two ladies are lovely and I would prefer you over probably anyone else at this event."

Shelagh blushed and turned her gaze away from him while Trixie laughed heartily and said "Thanks for ignoring the "old", Dr Turner."

"I have to get going," Shelagh said. "I am on at 8 sharp and I should check the LCD before I start." She hurried inwards, leaving Dr Turner and Trixie alone. Patrick looked after her, slightly disappointed at her sudden departure.

"Oh the nerves," Trixie commented. "She may be our hardest worker but she is an awful wreck when it comes to speaking publicly. She really hates it and she only does it for Nonnatus Mission."

Patrick nodded absent-mindedly. He had grown increasingly fond of Shelagh's modest manner and he regretted not being able to see her present. But a colleague from Durham gave a parallel session on the improvement of maternity services through better teaching facilities where he had to make an appearance.

Patrick did not meet Shelagh again until the final session of the day, a panel discussion on the improvement of maternal health. Both had sat in the room without seeing each other. Only after the session Shelagh noticed Patrick who had sat in the back of the room after having entered slightly late.

"Dr Turner, I did expect to see you here," she said cheerfully when she approached him. Patrick got up from his chair and closed his laptop on which he had been typing an email.

"Shelagh, what a nice surprise." He again felt the wish to ask her for dinner but shied away yet another time. Instead, he asked: "So Trixie is with her colleague again?"

"No, she went back to the guesthouse. She needs to finish her presentation for tomorrow" Shelagh explained.

Patrick checked his watch. It was five minutes after 5 pm. "Do you have to be back at a certain time?" he asked her.

"Dinner is at seven and I am already quite hungry, to be honest," she replied.

Patrick pursed his lips. "Would you want me to walk you home?" he asked.

"Thank you very much," she said, "but Jimmy will be picking me up in fifteen minutes."

In accordance with travel and security policies of Nonnatus Mission, Shelagh and Trixie had been travelling to Nairobi by car with a driver who also drove them around town – officially at least; but both did sometimes sneak in a short walk.

"We can walk outside together, if you want?" she suggested.

"Yes, let's go," Patrick replied, quickly gathering his laptop and a few papers from below his chair.

Outside, he lit himself a cigarette and opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something when Shelagh's phone rang. "Yes, Trixie" he heard her say. Then he watched her facial expression change from aghast to concentrated. "Yes, I will be back in half an hour at the latest. Dr Turner is here with me, should I bring him?" Patrick raised his eyebrows at her and Shelagh lifted her right hand to indicate she would tell him once she had ended the call.

Shelagh put her phone back into her pocket and looked at Patrick with an earnest expression. "This was Trixie. She is at the guesthouse. Apparently, one of the other guests has gone into labour and is strictly against being taken to hospital. Trixie asked me to come as quickly as I can. She also said something about a rather difficult sister as well. Would it be too much to ask you to come with me? Just in case?"

"Of course I will," Patrick said, secretly thrilled at the opportunity of spending time on a case with Shelagh.