Take my breath away
The next morning, right after breakfast, Shelagh knocked on Sister Julienne's office door. She knew the older woman did not have any appointments this morning and would very likely be able to spare half an hour to discuss with Shelagh the process for her to join the order. Or, at least, to counsel her so that she might find the peace of mind she was used to having, Shelagh thought.
"Enter," Shelagh heard from inside and stepped into her superior's office. Sister Julienne sat at her desk, taking notes on some charts and smiled upon seeing Shelagh. "Shelagh, please have a seat. What can I do for you?"
"I, wondered, Sister, if I might speak with you… about something which is becoming a concern to me," Shelagh began but was interrupted by the phone ringing.
"I am sorry," Sister Julienne said and answered her phone. Shelagh watched the older woman's face change to an expression of concern. "Yes, I see. No, there is no need for it, I will come and see her immediately."
Shelagh looked at Sister Julienne with questioning eyes.
"Sister Evangelina," Sister Julienne explained. "This was her dentist's surgery. She had an appointment this morning and apparently she fainted during the treatment. Her heart, probably. Again. They have rushed her to KCMC with an ambulance. I will go there right away."
"What can I do to help, Sister?" Shelagh asked while both women stood up from their chairs.
"Change nothing. Go nowhere. Carry on exactly as you are. I really don't think I can do without you."
Shelagh opened her mouth but no sound came out. She watched Sister Julienne stride out of her office and sat down again on her chair, so perplexed she was not able to move. Could this be another sign? Should she not talk to Sister Julienne about what was on her mind? Would joining the order not be what He wanted from her?
Shelagh removed her glasses and put them down on the edge of Sister Julienne's desk in front of her. Then she buried her face in her hands and tried to assess what was going on inside her.
Sister Julienne needed her just as she was, she had been clear. With Sister Evangelina's health deteriorating and the recent departure of nurse Chummy Noakes after getting married, staff was always a critical issue at the Mission. Unusual for the Mission's policy, Sister Julienne had involved Shelagh with administrative procedures early on. She had explained that although Sister Evangelina was second in rank and therefore technically supposed to act as Sister Julienne's deputy, it was not her forte to complete paperwork.
Sister Evangelina was a hands-on person and had been grateful when she and Sister Julienne had discovered how efficient and reliable Shelagh was when it came to administrative procedures and organisation of the office. Hence, Shelagh had gradually become almost a right hand to Sister Julienne.
Even though they never had discussed this, Shelagh was certain that once she joined the order, she would be the natural choice for succeeding Sister Julienne. A prospect filling her with anticipation and even a little pride in herself.
But now this was not the time to think about her still uncertain future, Shelagh scolded herself silently. She should pray for Sister Evangelina and begin with her own work for the day. Speaking to Sister Julienne had to wait.
One week later, Shelagh again taught the family planning class at KCMC. When class was over and everything packed, Shelagh went upstairs to Dr Turner's office. He had called Sister Julienne the day before, offering the Mission the opportunity to pick any item they might need from the old TB lab. Under the new grant, the lab would receive a substantial amount of new, more modern equipment and Dr. Turner was aware of the Mission's rather dated utensils.
Shelagh found Dr. Turner sitting at his desk, a cigarette in his mouth and a coffee mug in his left hand, brooding over a pile of papers. His door stood half-open and Shelagh quietly knocked against the door frame. Patrick looked up and beamed when he recognized her. "Shelagh," he exclaimed, "what a surprise. Sister Julienne said Cynthia would drop in after today's class."
"Yes, she was supposed to but she is ill today and I stepped in," Shelagh said.
"Come, have a seat," Patrick invited her. "Do you want some coffee? Or tea? Anything else?" Shelagh declined his offer of a drink but sat down at the visitor's chair in front of his desk.
"So tell me what exactly we are going to do. Sister Julienne said that you offered to donate some equipment to us?"
"Yes. Since we will get a completely new equipped TB lab soon, we have a lot of stuff from the old lab we don't need anymore. Technically, by our partnership contract with KCMC we are bound to transfer any item we do not need any longer to the hospital. But since they also have received several grants for medical and lab equipment recently, they aren't in as great a need as Nonnatus Mission, I think. So I thought we might just go through the lab, you tell me what you want and we will send it over once our new equipment has arrived."
Shelagh smiled slightly embarrassed. "Well, this is very generous of you. To be honest, we manage perfectly well in spite of the clinics' limitations. In fact we take pride in it," she said firmly. After a short pause, she added: "But we are grateful about any item you can spare."
Ten minutes later, Shelagh and Patrick entered the door to the TB lab. Shelagh shyly looked around, awkwardly twisting her hands. She felt like a thief, even though they were here at Dr. Turner's suggestion.
Patrick offered to make a list of the items while going through the equipment, but Shelagh hardly dared to make any suggestions. Patrick watched her peeking around, apparently too shy to ask for items. After a while he said: "If you can't tell me what you want, tell me what you need."
Shelagh looked at him with her lower lip caught between her teeth. "Well, the solar chill would be nice," Shelagh began slowly. "We could transport vaccinations out in the field more safely. At present we have to use those camping coolers which never cool enough."
"See", Patrick, leaning casually against the worktop next to her, smiled encouragingly, "You can do this."
Shelagh lifted some clean test tubes out of their stand and weighed them in her hand. "Test tubes like these would be nice, too. The ones we have are made of very thin glass," she said hesitantly, looking up from the tubes she was still holding on to.
"They must break so easily," Patrick said quietly, looking into her eyes. Their eyes locked and suddenly time seemed to stand still.
Then they heard someone shout "Dr. Turner!" and when a breathless Tom entered the lab, Shelagh and Patrick each took a step back, almost jumping.
"Tom!" Patrick exclaimed, trying to regain his composure. "What is the matter?"
"I am sorry, Dr. Turner. The Dean of KCMC Medical School is at your office and needs to see you in some urgent matter."
Patrick sighed. "I am sorry," he said to Shelagh. "I have to go. If he comes to me in person, it must truly be urgent indeed."
Shelagh nodded in understanding. "I can come back another time," she said.
"Oh, well, perhaps Tom can stay with you?" Patrick suggested and looked at Tom who smiled pleased. Patrick handed Tom the list on which he had begun to write the items Shelagh wanted to have for Nonnatus Mission. "He'll have to pack them for you anyway," Patrick added, winking at Tom, and hurried towards the door.
"Hello, Tom", Shelagh said, smiling warmly at the young man. "Now, let's get on then."
