Chapter 2

Note: Love you guys so much and thank you for supporting a lil troll like me! *gives big hugs and blows kisses*


For the next two days Ludwig decided to turn off the notifications on his email and not open his inbox at all. Maybe things were going to cool down if he took a step back and stopped fueling the conflict. The blond decided to instead concentrate even more on studying for the time being.

But life being what it is, especially if you have some bad karma on your tab, Ludwig's next history class was moved to a large amphitheatre where the ever-grumpy Mr. Oxenstierna had proceeded to divide his students into random groups of three, so as to avoid the continuous thwarting of his lessons by individual conversations. Thus, the German found a tag with his name assigned to a middle seat in a desk towards the back (and he never sat in the back, damn it!).

To his utter displeasure, the seat to his left was occupied by none other than Kiku Honda, whom he could no longer, in the light of the recent developments, look in the eye. And to think how shy and innocent he looked, the smooth bastard! The seat to his right had been assigned to Feliciano Vargas, a petite, scatter-brained Italian who stumbled in just a split-second before the beginning of class and spilled half the contents of his bag on the floor before finally settling in and taking out his books.

Shit, Ludwig hoped with all his heart he wouldn't be given any group projects with these two. Kiku may have been competent, but right now he was an eyesore and Vargas – while not being an eyesore, quite on the contrary – was a known slacker and therefore disastrous project-wise from every other point of view. Damn both of them, he thought as the Japanese shrunk in his seat away from him (as if Ludwig was the bad guy here…) and Feliciano put his knees up indifferently, beginning to scroll on his phone.

Most of the class passed in relative peace, the German focusing on taking notes hunched over his binder even if a vague bad vibe persisted around him, punctuated by the soft vibrations of the other two's phone notifications. What the hell were they doing anyway? With the corner of his eye he saw stolen glances behind his back and when the Italian let out a small chuckle, grinning widely at his screen, Ludwig finally snapped.

"Would you cut that out with the buzzing already?! You don't need your damn phones to talk to each other around me, considering you're not doing anything useful anyway!"

Startled, Kiku dropped his phone under the desk. "G-Gomen'nasai…" he muttered, embarrassed, quickly ducking to pick up the device, which had landed with the screen upwards. He wasn't fast enough though and the blond got to see what the other was up to. And what do you know, he was on that blasted site again, writing a private message to someone.

And then it hit him.

Caramel_mafioso…

Slowly, he turned his head towards Feliciano, who had resumed his previous activity with a pout and gave him a thoughtful once-over. If this didn't make perfect sense, he didn't know what did. A wave of contradicting emotions washed over him at the realization – so the cute, delicious little Feliciano Vargas, who also looked so fucking innocent too, had a different, very dark side Ludwig had had the pleasure of meeting firsthand (and facefirst too!). THE DIRTY LITTLE FUCKER! A strange sort of excitement spiked his indignation this time, and the thoughts of revenge instantly flooding his mind made his blood run faster, akin to arousal.

Ohhh, he was so going to war!


As soon as he was back home, Ludwig opened his inbox and lo and behold, the bastards had taken out the heavy artillery on the forum.

ninjafryingpangirl: silver_eagle You need to pull that stick out of your ass and get laid, you fucking troll!

caramel_mafioso: silver_eagle (I subscribe to above) a good, hardcore pounding XDDDDD

On top of that, caramel_mafioso had updated his abomination of a fic yet again and this time the German went through it, word by word, until he couldn't think straight anymore. Granted, since there were easily almost seven pages of gay porn, not to mention a lot of 'actual emotion worth putting into words' and no one was even remotely stiff, except for the right places… Okay, his fingers itched and he absolutely needed to pay Feliciano back for his fucking roast:

Anon – I saw you kindly advising others to avoid writing experiences they've never had… that's very interesting (not to say striking), considering the contents of your fic. Does that mean you're a professional prostitute? Is this some veiled, 'best of' autobiography of yours? Is that why you continue to break the rules, in pursuit for an absolute authenticity we simply cannot be spared of?

So this was harsh af but not undeserved, mind you, and all the more so since Feliciano had been his secret crush for almost a year now and his true character had so crudely disappointed him! The fucking little hypocrite, as if he'd done any of those things! No, the Italian just had a very, very dirty mind and now he'd sullied Ludwig's mind too, damn it!

As for the 'good, hardcore pounding', that had to wait for the perfect moment, because the German planned to see their actual faces when he delivered it right back to them.


And the perfect moment came, obviously, at the next history class, when Ludwig found himself surrounded once more by his enemies. Outnumbered but not outgunned, he thought, barely holding back a smirk as Kiku sat next to him and he spotted Elizaveta nearby too, chatting animatedly with another girl. Feli was late again and this time nearly tripped and fell flat on his face, and he looked so much like a helpless little bunny that the blond's heart was almost softened.

Almost.

Having again muted the notifications on his phone, he discreetly hid it in the pages of his book, where it would not be visible, and went straight to the forum. Unfortunately, he should have checked it sooner, because another slap in the face - fresh from the oven - awaited him there and instantly made his blood boil.

caramel_mafioso: silver_eagle *sigh* Why the hell are you doing this, Captain Obvious? Do you think you'll lose your precious virginity if you log in when leaving a review? Also, yes, I'm all about authenticity and my profession is none of your business, you underage little spring blossom

Underage?! Feliciano was fucking seventeen himself! FUCK YOU, DAMN MACARONI BASTARD! Ludwig screamed internally, unable to stop the violent flushing of his cheeks and his hands helplessly clenching into fists at his sides. He was suffocating. No, no, Ludwig, hold it together, hold it in a bit longer!

The blond took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down and leaning back in his seat. He allowed Mr. Oxenstierna to begin his monotonous and barely intelligible droning before he dropped the bomb. Hunching slightly over his book, his fingers moved with deadly precision.

silver_eagle: ninjafryingpangirl Shame on you! You should be ashamed of yourselves, the both of you! That's right, I know there's two of you and I even know who you are, da. Frankly I thought better of you, but… Seriously, shame on you guys! And take down all that filth or it gets reported, I mean it!

silver_eagle: caramel_mafioso I know who you are too, mister. And I'll give YOU that pounding, nice and hard like you like it, da

Then he waited.

The first one to react was Elizaveta, who interrupted her lively chat with the other girl to check her phone as soon as she got the notification. A few seconds later that happy smile slipped off her face, replaced by utter shock, and her perfectly manicured hand flew to her mouth. She started fidgeting, then turned towards Kiku, hissing his name. The Japanese was busy taking notes and was slow to reach his phone, but when he did… it was worth it. His shoulders stiffened instantly and he let out a shaky breath. Barely managing to keep a straight face now and not smile victoriously, Ludwig pretended not to feel the slender arm reaching behind his back to poke Feliciano.

The Italian picked his phone discreetly, he scowled for a split second then sighed dramatically. He typed something back, smiling.

Doubt creeping in, ten minutes later (as to not raise any suspicions) Ludwig went back to the forum, holding his breath.

ninjafryingpangirl: silver_eagle You don't know shit, you presumptuous little fucker. It says on our profile that there's two of us, anyone can read that. SO EAT A DICK!

It must have been Elizaveta, because he hadn't seen Kiku writing anything. He gritted his teeth – failure, damn it!

little_snowflake42: silver_eagle Impersonate me again and you'll walk funny for a month

little_snowflake42: ninjafryingpangirl, caramel_mafioso Children, stop talking about dicks and fucking and other things you're unfamiliar with. If any of you was getting any, you wouldn't be here

Feliciano sighed again.

caramel_mafioso: little_snowflake42 You're here too…So what does that mean, I wonder?

caramel_mafioso: silver_eagle Are you flirting with me now? Fuck you right back, you little punk.

Ludwig stared, a fist pressed tightly over his mouth. He fiddled with his pen, but his eyes were glued to the screen cleverly masked by the pages of his book. No way! No way Feli was going after Ivan… The cheeky little fucker!

little_snowflake42: caramel_mafioso Be very careful, little one, or else after I finish you will be crying inconsolably and your knees will hurt

The Italian's smile disappeared and he sunk in his seat, clearing his throat awkwardly. Ivan had given it to him straight. Not that he hadn't given it to Ludwig too… okay that had been a bad idea.

silver_eagle: caramel_mafioso You had it coming, baby ;) Are you blushing now?

ninjafryingpangirl: little_snowflake42, silver_eagle You two need to stop waving your small-to-nonexistent dicks around here bullying innocent people! We're here to read and write, not to argue with all sorts of self-righteous, self-entitled, tight-wearing vigilantes! Please take care of whatever issue you have behind the bathroom door, i.e. go FUCK yourselves already!

Ludwig poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue, eyes narrowing, while next to him Feliciano was snickering. His victory had turned to utter defeat AND he'd gotten trolled by Ivan too, OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE! Clenching his jaw, he punched the keyboard angrily.

silver_eagle: kittiesandpillows17 (Admin) DUDE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! Are you sleeping?! Report these fucking trolls for language right now!

Feliciano was laughing openly now, that perfect little mouth of his stretched into a wide grin and showing pearly-white teeth, and the blond wanted nothing more than to turn, lean in and kiss him. And then strangle him.

"Quiet! I'm trying to work here, damn it!" he growled, turning sharply towards the Italian, who flinched and accidentally pushed his own books over the edge of the desk. He stood and bent over to collect them, his delectable backside clad in skin-tight black Diesel jeans coming into view.

Suddenly Ludwig had a very inappropriate idea, but someone else beat him to it.

Francis Bonnefoy, who was sitting right behind them, reached over and delivered a hearty slap to Feliciano's bottom, cackling. Tsking and scowling, the Italian plopped back in his seat, after gracing the wavy-haired blond with a silent glare.

But an unexpected trolling opportunity had presented itself this way! Putting on as sourly serious and grumpy a face as he could, Ludwig let his own hand wander over the smooth fabric of said black Diesel jeans before giving a light, teasing squeeze (worth writing into a fic, heh).

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!"

Feliciano turned with lightning speed and his hand made loud contact with the Frenchman's cheek.

"Mais, it wasn't me!" Francis cried, holding his reddened visage. "I swear, cher! It was-" He looked at Ludwig but he was met with such a dry, disinterested glare that he instantly deflated.

"VARGAS! BONNEFOY!" Mr. Oxenstierna barked from the front of the class. "GET OUT!"

"But I didn't do anything!"

"GET OUT OF MY CLASS, NOW!"

To be continued

Hand up if you know who kittiesandpillows17 is and why they're not doing anything :)))))))) Also, who do you think will be the winner? (obviously, the dirtiest fighter)