Now, as we stand three feet apart and stare at each other, I feel the full distance that comes with spending so much time apart, a moment filled with the electricity of a first meeting and the uncertainty of strangers.
Marie Lu
xx
It was as if everything had halted. Like god had pressed pause on their lives. They were a small circle now. No one could be let in. Somehow, Jace's accident had brought them all closer together. It was odd how tragedy shaped love. The doctor stood in front of them all. She was petite, with short brown hair and a pale face. She motioned for them to sit down. There wasn't enough space for Clary on the couch, so she situated herself on the ledge, Jordon clutching her waist. Morning light filled the office and it felt as if all was quite ordinary.
"For those who aren't aware, my name is Doctor Bollack. I'll be the one handling Jace's medical case." She paced back and forth, her fingers tapping against her legs. When she stared at them, it was as if she really cared. "I know how you must feel. And I know how much it frustrates you that people are trying to sympathize with you." Isabelle was crying in short breaths. Simon gave an apologetic look to the doctor and rubbed Isabelle's shoulders. "I don't make promises with my patients. Yet, there's always hope when it comes to being paralyzed. Yes, his condition is severe and he has a long way to go, but he might skate again." She stopped walking. Her lips were tight and formed a straight line.
Something in the way she stood so confidently made Clary believe that she knew what she was talking about. "That's what I need from you guys. Provide him with love. Keep him away from hockey and all the things he can not perform now." Simon nodded. Isabelle released a sigh.
Doctor Bollack smiled. It was a tiny gesture, but it meant a world of difference. She took a seat at her desk and shuffled through some papers. While she rummaged through the belongings, she spoke. "Now, I understand that Isabelle is his sister. Is that correct?" Isabelle raised her hand weakly. "Alright. And Simon, you are her..."
"Boyfriend." There was something else in his tone but nobody took the time to detect it.
She finally peered at Clarissa. Her eyebrows rose in question. "I-I guess I'm his ex girlfriend." It sounded so stupid and Clary, hearing how uncertain her voice sounded, felt like she didn't belong in this company. The doctor wrote something on her note pad.
"And, will he be expecting you when visits are made official?" Clary opened her mouth, but it was Isabelle who answered, her voice sure and firm.
"Yes. Her of all people."
Bollack looked slightly surprised. She didn't say anything back and pointed to Jordon. "He's my boyfriend." Clary squeezed his hand and he sent her a tentative smile in return. She wondered if he was starting to rethink his relationship with her. He hadn't signed up to be one of the caretakers of her ex boyfriend.
The meeting ended about fifteen minutes later. Each of them received a sheet of paper that wrote the schedules in which they would take Jace in and out of his hospital check-ups. They would learn about handling a wheel hair and having the strength to lift Jace around from vehicle seats to rooms at home. It was so complicated. The four of them walked into the parking lot, unnaturally quiet. Isabelle reached into her purse and tugged out her phone. Her screen lit up with a notification. She turned to Simon, her nose red and her eyebrows scrunched. "We've got a lawyer. He's already been able to get the NHL to suspend Chbosky for the rest of the season."
Simon looked angry. "The rest of the damn season isn't enough!" His hand was fisted against the window of his car.
Isabelle was tired. She didn't seem to find the words to speak back to Simon. Clary stepped forward and embraced her friend. The warmth of someone she had known for so long felt amazing. "Call me if you need anything."
They parted ways. Jordon drove home.
xx
Isabelle sauntered into the guest room. She carried a tray with her. It held a peanut butter sandwich and a side of vegetables, a large glass of orange juice too. Her steps were quiet and careful. She peered inside and all that she held fell to the ground, clattering like the sound of bad music. She screamed and rushed forward, wrapping her arms deftly under her brother's armpits. She listened to Simon who was bringing the wheelchair closer to them. They lifted Jace and in a moment he was seated properly.
"What happened?" Simon asked, rubbing sweat off of his forehead. His glasses had fallen somewhere on the ground, but he didn't seem to notice.
Isabelle was on her knees scraping up the ruined food with her hands. She looked feverish, as if looking for anything to do than meet Jace's gaze. "I came into the room and found him on the ground."
"I thought...didn't we secure the chair?"
Isabelle nodded. There was a hot lump in her throat that she couldn't swallow away. "He just-I think he was on the ground for awhile. He didn't even bother calling one of us."
Simon faced Jace and saw that he was staring at his hands. His expression was unreadable.
"Let's clean this mess up." And they did.
xx
"Are you heading to work now?" She watched Jordon put on his hat and jacket.
"I got a call from the shop. Mike hasn't taken his shifts today. I'll have to cover for him."
"Oh, okay." He sighed a little.
"I can stay if you want me to, Clare." She shook her head resolutely.
"No, don't." She planted a smile on her face, hoping he would believe that it was really okay.
He kissed her cheek. His hand lifted to touch her hair. "Don't smile when you don't want to." Her lips parted and whatever she had wanted to say went down the drain. Jordon turned the knob of the door and pulled it open.
"I love you." She told him.
A few moments passed and he trudged back to her as if there was a force controlling him. Involuntarily, she grinned. This time, it was real. "There you go," he whispered against her lips.
xx
"Are you sure?" Simon looked around. "I can sleep on the ground if you'd like."
Isabelle pushed her hair into a ponytail and grabbed a blanket to wrap around her body. "It's okay. We'll be fine."
She was sleeping in Jace's room that night just in case anything would happen. They had already carried him onto his bed and he had instantly fallen asleep. She hadn't heard him speak since before the accident. Her muscles ached and throbbed from placing her brother onto the wheelchair and back. She needed to just shut her eyes. Faintly, she felt Simon kiss her on the forehead and his steps disappeared away.
xx
a/n: Sometimes an event happens and it wakes you up. You realized you've lived leisurely and that your problems are insignificant when looking at the big picture. That event was the Parkland shooting. I can't form the words or the emotions for those affected. I'm sorry. I raise my hand to hold yours. You're not alone. We will fight and never forget.
