Twenty-One: Cooking and Conversation

Toothless drank two whole bowls of water, polished off two tins of tuna-flavoured cat meat and then curled up against Hiccup's chest, leaving the man in an agony of anxiety. The little cat was filthy and was so exhausted that he didn't even stop to clean himself, so Hiccup had gently sponged the mud off him and brushed his thick black fur until it was shining and fluffed up. Little paws extended, Toothless cracked open half an eye and purred until he drooled.

"It's okay, buddy," Hiccup murmured as he wrapped an old sweater around the little cat and carefully moved him into his cat carrier. Toothless was so exhausted, he didn't even have the energy to protest, fidgeting into a tight fluffy ball and making sure his nose was buried in his tail. Fastening the carrier, Hiccup rapidly packed his bowls, his spare litter tray and a travel bowl. He rammed a few pouches of food, a bottle of water and a couple of tins of premium meat in the backpack and zipped it closed, before dialling Heather.

"We're heading back to the airport," he told her. "Can you get us three seats on the next flight-two humans, one cat. And have some cat litter and food delivered to Astrid's apartment please?"

"I'm not sure Ast will approve," she warned him but Hiccup was firm.

"He comes or I stay with him here," he said determinedly. "Bella tried to kill him, Heather. He was trapped in a cage and left there to starve."

"Oh Thor," the girl said and then paused. "It will all be waiting for you when you arrive. I'll sort the tickets out now." She paused. "Glad you found him okay," she added and rung off.

"Okay-my sister has been replaced by an alien," Dagur commented, eating the cheese on toast that Gobber had helpfully made for both the men. Admittedly the toast was burnt at the edges and the cheese was more rubbery than a sheet of latex but Dagur was gamely trying to eat it anyway and swallowing Gobber's super-strong and utterly horrible coffee. Hiccup was just fussing over Toothless.

"Don't worry-once she claps eyes on Toothless, she'll fall in love wi' him," Gobber admitted. "He is the cutest cat on the planet…though the spirit of a small panther inhabits that fluffy wee body. Bella is the only person he's never taken to. Her, he hated…"

"Smart cat," Dagur commented. "I've never met her and I already hate her."

"Which says a lot for my abysmal taste in woman," Hiccup said downheartedly, gently stroking Toothless's fluffy tail. The cat unconsciously flicked it out of reach.

"Everyone is allowed one mistake," Dagur reminded him. "Look at Astrid. That Dag the Destroyer…lying two-timing ass…" Gobber chuckled.

"Yer know, I think both of you were due a decent partner and I'm glad you met up again with her, laddie," he said genuinely. "Yer Dad and me never liked that Bella and we can see she was doing terrible things tae yer. We're so glad…and yer Dad is even starting to talk about Grandbabies…" Hiccup felt shame and guilt curl through him and he sighed.

"Way too early to think about that, Gobber!" he protested. "Thor, Astrid is a professional sportswoman and she's not going to interrupt her career at her peak just so Dad can buy that mini-Viking sleep suit that I heard him muttering about at Astrid's Mom's birthday!" Gobber looked instantly guilty.

"Ah…yer heard?" he said guiltily. "I just think all his colleagues and the other Mayors are starting tae talk about their grandchildren and he feels left out…can't blame a man for hoping…" Hiccup sighed.

"I promise that the there is some news, you two are going to be the first to know," he promised as Dagur peered at him calculatingly. "Now would you be able to do us a favour and drive us to the airport? Dagur's over the limit and I need to keep an eye on Toothless. I'll call the Car Rental company to arrange collection…" Gobber smiled, his teeth welded together by overcooked cheese.

"M'pleasure…" he mumbled. "W'un I c'n op'n m'm'th…" Hiccup chuckled then.

"Good thing I learned my cookery from Dad," he chuckled.

oOo

Toothless was still sleeping when the taxi dropped them back at Astrid's apartment block and Hiccup-who now had a key-let himself and Dagur in, heading up to the apartment with the cat carrier in his hand. But he was surprised when he arrived back, for Astrid was waiting, pacing back and forth and looking stressed. She spun as he arrived back, eyes widening as she saw the black shape in the cat carrier but instead of looking annoyed, she looked relieved.

"Is he okay?" she asked urgently, running forward to peer at the fluffy sleeping shape. "Is he hurt?"

"Cold, wet, dehydrated and starving but okay," he reassured her. "Bella trapped him in a cage in the woods and basically left him there to die. If I hadn't gone back when I did…" His voice trailed away and the hollow look in his eyes made her heart clench.

"You were awesome," she said. "You know, anyone who has a friend who will run halfway across the Archipelago when they could be in trouble definitely has the best friend imaginable!" Dipping his head self-consciously, he shrugged.

"Dagur helped," he said quickly. "You sure you don't mind him here?" She smiled.

"Look-Hiccup without his cat? Doesn't seem right," she noted. "Where would be best for his litter tray?" He stared at her: her pristine apartment was about to become a cat playroom and she was being fantastic about it.

"Are you sure?" he asked and she smiled.

"Hiccup-Toothless means everything to you and you need to know he's safe…so, of course he's staying," she said. "Maybe…litter tray over there?" Carefully resting the cat carrier on the table, he tenderly lifted Toothless out, still curled on the sweater, and laid him on his bed. The little cat gave a small mew and then closed his eyes once more. Astrid walked in after him and sighed.

"Sorry-I'll clean the sheets," Hiccup apologised but she smiled.

"He's so cute," she commented and gently leaned closer, offering her hand. "Hello, Toothless. Bet you don't remember me…" The cat lifted his head and sniffed the proffered hand-and then gave a small meow and nuzzled against the hand, purring. Absently, Astrid scratched him under the chin. 'Or maybe you do…" Toothless gave a small purr and then curled up tightly, burying his nose in his fluffy tail.

"You know-the first moment he met Bella, he hissed and tried to scratch her," Hiccup admitted self-consciously, rubbing the back of his neck. "Um…she was furious. And she made sure I knew that he was a vile creature and how she considered cats vermin." They walked into the main part of the apartment and then he paused, his face troubled. "I was meant to find him, you know," he said hollowly. "But in that cage when he was dead, knowing he died trapped and alone and desperate. Knowing it was my fault." He swallowed. "And I-I was scared to go back…to my home island, to my family home!…because I was scared she would ambush me." She gently grasped his hand and smiled.

"I guess she wouldn't want to be anywhere near where he was…so she could claim it wasn't her…" she suggested and his eyes widened.

"Any more than she was anywhere near the story in the paper," he murmured. "Wonder if she's the mystery witness?" Astrid's fists clenched and she nodded.

"I would bet my caps on it," she growled. "She's cunning. She's stalked you and threatened Toothless…and tried to defame us all." He paled and slumped into a chair.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "I should have said at the beginning…but I wanted to meet with my friend again and I just wanted to spend an evening with you without having her…in there. I guessed you would fly off and we wouldn't speak again so it wouldn't matter. But the truth is…she's never letting me go. Maybe you should finish it with me and then she'll leave you alone…" She flopped down into the chair next to him.

"Helheim, no!" she said with finality. "She's vindictive and she won't let me go just because she's separated us. And anyone who has you scared to go home…is dangerous. You're safer here with me-you and Toothless. Your Dad is enormous and can take care of himself-and so can Gobber so you don't have to worry about them. She's likely to do things underhand than make a direct attack on someone who can fight back and lock her away."

He nodded absently.

What does that make me? he thought dully.

"Hiccup…stay," she asked him. "Toothless is safe and so are you. Now all we have to do is work out how to manage the Archipelago Daily Report show…and make it look like I know something about cooking…" Hiccup managed a wan smile.

"Or you could be honest," he suggested as she raised an eyebrow. "I mean…you don't have to be perfect at everything…"

"Just almost everything," she reminded him. He frowned.

"Maybe…and I'm just stabbing in the dark here…your fans would see you as more human if you have some frailties like the rest of us," he said cautiously. "I mean, you are beautiful, athletic, smart, quick-witted, design fantastic clothes, amazing businesswoman, kind, decent…"

"And I will end up with a head the size of Mars!" she reminded him. His emerald eyes flicked up and there was honest desire to help.

"Let me do the cooking, Milady," he advised her. "That's something I can do-while you do the interviewing bits." Her eyes widened. "Look-at least I can be useful then. I mean, I hardly bring anything else to the table…" She rose and walked to him, leaning forward and hugging him.

"Hiccup-if nothing else, you are the only one who brings edible food to the table," she told him. "But you bring so much more. Notwithstanding a cute cat, you're sassy and cute and supportive and great company and you remind me that I'm not alone, that there are people out there who care for me not just the image and…and I'm rambling, aren't I?" He smiled and hugged her back.

"Just a little," he told her. "And it's cute…" She closed her eyes and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I can live with that."

oOo

Toothless adjusted astonishingly well to the apartment, locating his litter tray, his bowls and Hiccup's bed and sleeping curled up by Hiccup's feet. He thoroughly explored every inch of the space and swiftly worked out he could watch over most of Berk by sitting on the table and staring through the huge window…especially if he sat on top of Hiccup's laptop. He was also incredibly curious and friendly to everyone who visited, his little fluffy black shape with his large green eyes and piercing glare immediately familiar. And he loved company-so if Hiccup had gone out to go shopping for fresh food or a jog, he would seek out Astrid and follow her around until Hiccup returned.

The day of the TV interview dawned and Hiccup was up early, showering and preparing. And though he had given Heather the ingredients required for their dish, he obsessively packed a cool box with freezer packs and all the ingredients required for the dish-including his herbs and spices, because he really had a bad feeling. Astrid returned from her morning run and training and showered swiftly, running late for the start time. Anxious and twitchy, Hiccup had looked up from the couch, where Toothless was sitting in his lap, purring loudly, and his eyes widened as he saw her.

"You're looking fabulous," he said, a small smile lifting his lips. She shook out her long blonde hair, still damply curling at the ends and smiled. She had chosen a pair of skinny fit designer blue jeans, a pale aqua silk blouse patterned with deep hyacinth and bluebell blue flowers over a navy vest and sleek navy boots, all from Team Astrid. She smiled.

"You're not so bad yourself," she commented, her eyes raking his lean shape. Black skinny jeans, green shirt and grey waistcoat all flattered his silhouette but he self-consciously rubbed the back of his neck.

"For a skinny sarcastic nerd," he mumbled. She shook her head.

"Look, we're about to go on a daytime TV show where we have to cook lunch…and you're the only one here who can actually cook…so what does that make me?" she asked him pointedly.

"The one they actually want to talk to," he retorted. Chuckling at his defensiveness, she smiled indulgently.

"I think you may be astonished at how much they want to know about you," she reminded him as he rose with a sigh.

"I doubt it," he said, resting Toothless on the couch and rubbing under his velvety chin. "Stay here, bud. We'll be back." He grabbed the cool bag as Astrid smiled.

'And if you're lucky, we may even bring you a kitty bag back!" she threatened. Hiccup groaned as they headed out the door.

"Just what I need-my poor cat getting poisoned…" he groaned.

oOo

The studios were in a modern two storey complex with superb views over the harbour. Cami dropped them off at the stage door and they were met by a bubbly redhead who rapidly took them through to make-up, which was very light and then into the studio. The director frowned as he saw the cool box.

"You won't need that," he said dismissively. "Your PA phoned up yesterday and made the amendments…"

"Wait…what amendments?" Hiccup asked in concern.

"The new recipe," the director said as the stage manager flipped his clipboard.

"The pineapple, the Scotch Bonnet Peppers, the artichoke, the treacle, the celery salt, the castor sugar, the chorizo, the honey, the lamb's heart, the greek yoghurt and the candy stripe icing…" he read.

"WHAT?" Hiccup exploded. "We're making a chicken and sweet potato salad! I-I don't even know what recipe that list of ingredients is for! No one does!"

"And no one phoned to alter the recipe," Astrid said firmly.

"I beg to differ," the director argued. "We were told…"

"Not by me or my manager, were you?" she insisted and the man wilted.

"But she said she was your PA," he protested.

"And what? You just take people's word for it? Anyone could have rung up! I bet you were sabotaged by one of your rivals for daytime TV!" Astrid sneered. "I mean, you have been trailing this programme all week!" The director face-palmed.

"Oh Thor…" he groaned.

"Fortunately, I have everything I need right here," Hiccup suggested, gesturing at the cool box. "Unless you want to cancel…"

"No no no!" the Director yelped. "You're supposed to eat what you cook with Tora…and I can't have my guests and my host dying of food poisoning on air! Um…"

"Look-how much cooking do you actually want to see? Chopping up a chicken breast? Peeling a sweet potato? Boiling said potato? Or just assembling the parts?" Hiccup's voice was firm, his eyes glittering with irritation. The Director looked panicked.

"The cooking segment comes with the host and lasts about fifteen to twenty minutes," he whimpered. So you judge…" Hiccup smiled.

"I can do it as we go along," he decided. "Just as long as Astrid doesn't help…"

"What? It's supposed to be you two cooking as if you're at home…" the Director accused them as Astrid have a smug smile.

"No problem-since I have the cooking abilities of your average volcanic eruption," she smirked. "Hiccup cooks." Staring at the couple for a moment, the Director sighed then gave up.

"Fine," he huffed. "Just don't destroy the studio."

As he scurried off to make the final preparations for the programme, Astrid leaned close to Hiccup. "Do you think it was Bella?" she murmured. His eyes unfocused for a second and then he nodded.

"This slot has been trailed on TV for days so she wouldn't have missed it," he replied softly. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault, babe," she reminded him. "You can't control her."

"I just wish…" he began and then shook his head. "You're right," he said instead.

They had to sit quietly, growing nervous as the host, Tora Hanssen, a slim woman with strawberry blonde hair cut just above the shoulder and pale blue eyes in a very freckled face, welcomed the viewers. There was the usual slot of looking at the papers and gossip columns and a review of 'What's My Vegetable-Greatest Hits' where she and celebrity reporter Bill Hendricks gently poked fun at the hit show…before she smiled at the camera.

"And now-it's lunch time," she said cheerfully as Hiccup and Astrid tensed. "And I have the great pleasure today of having lunch with the Golden Couple of the Archipelago…consisting of the Soccer Valkyrie herself, Captain of the Archi Valkyries and the Archipelago National Team, Astrid Hofferson, and her fiancé, Hiccup Haddock!" There were cheers from the crew and Tora clapped politely as they walked on. Astrid grinned brightly and hugged the host and taking her lead, Hiccup smiled shyly and also gently hugged Tora.

"Hey Tora-it's great to be here," Astrid said and perched on the stool beside Tora at the end of the kitchen counter, smiling at the auburn haired man as he laid out his ingredients and checked the kitchen implements available to him.

"So what are you cooking for me today?" the host asked cheerfully.

"We'll be making a chicken, sweet potato and tomato salad with chill mayonnaise and pineapple yoghurt fool," Hiccup offered, smiling. Tora stared.

"Well, he will," Astrid added. "I'm second assistant." There was a pause.

"Who's first assistant?" Tora asked in a wary voice.

"Anyone else," Hiccup sassed gently. "Literally anyone else. Please. Astrid's not the best…" Tora raised an eyebrow as Hiccup swiftly cut the chicken into strips, warmed a pan with a mere flick of oil and a little garlic and a couple of shreds of the Scotch Bonnet Chilli then peeled the sweet potato, cut it into 1cm cubes and put it to cook.

"You know, I find that hard to believe," she admitted. "I mean, she's a fantastic sportswomen, great ambassador, spokesperson for fitness and child education programmes, she designs much of Team Astrid and is brand ambassador for many products." Astrid nodded and slid off the stool to stand by Hiccup.

"All true," she admitted. "Oh cute…it's like a mini bell pepper…" Hiccup stilled and he looked very sternly at her.

"Astrid-put down the Scotch Bonnet chilli," he said in a low voice. "It is extremely hot. About 100000 to 350000 scoville units. Wash your hands twice in the sink before you touch anything-if that gets in your eye, it will be extremely painful and you have a match tomorrow…" Surprisingly, the blonde immediately did as she was told and Tora stared.

"Well, that's unexpected," she commented.

"Not really-I have almost no clue about cooking," Astrid commented easily, grateful for the advice. Hiccup was a very easy going guy but she knew when he used that tone, he was deadly serious-just as he had been in Senior Chemistry when she had miscalculated the ratios in Organic Practical and accidentally made TNT.

"It's true," Hiccup admitted as he began to make the mayonnaise, carefully putting shreds of finely chopped chilli into blender. "Astrid is the most competitive and impatient person on the planet, Tora. Cookery often involves patience, accuracy and what appears to be advanced chemistry. Her greatest achievement in the culinary field…"

"If you say flaming rock cakes, I'm making them again and making you eat them, Haddock," Astrid threatened. Hiccup grinned.

"The apartment has sprinklers, Milady, so they would be put out before they set fire to anything this time," he reminded her. Tora frowned.

"Sorry, am I missing something?"

"At school, in Cookery, we were making rock cakes," Hiccup continued as Astrid scowled. "Astrid was incredibly competitive and thought if she cranked her oven up to maximum, she would finish first. Which of course is the point of cookery and not making edible food…"

"Details," Astrid replied, trying not to smile. "And I did finish first by the way?" Hiccup nodded, chuckling.

"Oh, very much so…but for that temperature, she left them in too long and they charred and caught fire." Suddenly, the soccer player started chuckling at the memory as Tora grinned.

"Okay, so I may have made a small error…" Astrid wryly admitted. "But I didn't set fire to the whole school kitchen…"

"Nope-the twins and Snot then felt the urge to throw said flaming missiles around before wrecking the place further with the fire extinguisher," Hiccup grinned back, tossing a few chopped spring onions into the pan before starting to fry the chicken.

"Needless to say, it was suggested to my parents that my talents may not lay in the culinary sphere," Astrid admitted, poking round the cupboards and finding some bottles in the fridge. "Soda water, babe?" Hiccup smiled gratefully.

"Thanks," he said as he continued to sauté the chicken and added a few cherry tomatoes.

"Would you like a drink, Tora?" Astrid continued, finding a glass and smiling. The host stared in shock. Usually, her guests couldn't wait to talk non-stop about themselves and having a couple here who were acting like normal people was refreshing. And no one ever offered her a drink.

"Thank you," she smiled and accepted the soda water, rearranging her list of questions. "So you've clearly known each other for a long time?"

"Elementary school was when we first met and we were sort of friends throughout-though we really became best friends in Middle School?" Astrid replied, checking with Hiccup. He nodded, taking the pan off the heat and washing through some salad leaves.

"Yeah-I think we usually got paired up because our names were next to one another in the register and even then, she was beautiful, fierce, competitive and great at sports while I was skinny, small, awkward and ground zero for freckles," he confessed. "But somehow…we clicked. I was-and am-sarcastic while she is very direct and no-nonsense. But we were best friends through High School and when she left for the Valkyries before Graduation, I was heartbroken. We kind of lost touch."

"Until he ran into me at the airport," Astrid smiled, getting three plates out. Hiccup swiftly dressed the plates, spooned the mayonnaise into a small bowl and dumped the pineapple, yoghurt, honey, a little coconut milk, three fresh mint leaves and a dash of black pepper into the blender and blasted it for about thirty seconds.

"I seem to remember standing still and being the one run into," he corrected her with a smile. "I think I was compared to a wall?"

"Oh, you are getting way too sassy, Mr Sassy!" she retorted with a smile.

"And you're an engineer?" Tora asked as Hiccup served the warm salads and decanted the pineapple yoghurt fools into glass serving bowls. He grinned and took the seat at the end, handing round cutlery.

"I've worked at Berk Aero for two years," he confirmed. "It's my dream job…."

And as they ate the excellent food and chatted like old friends, Astrid found herself feeling astonishingly proud of him. She knew he was self-conscious and shy but he had forced himself to stand up in front of the whole Archipelago and do what she could never hope to-cook an edible meal and even improvise a dessert. Astonishingly, he had chatted with Tora like a friend, being the funny, witty and thoughtful friend she recalled from school. And though the segment overran to thirty minutes, no one minded because the couple were engaging, funny and scored the highest ratings Archipelago Daily Report had ever achieved.

A/N: I was definitely thinking of Vala411's excellent 'Cooking with Astrid and Hiccup' series when I wrote the cooking segments. But with fewer dragons and axes.