Heavy breathing...
Worthless...
Hands grabbing skin...
Disgust...
Pain, remembered agony...
Fear...
A mouth at my ear...
"Little girl, you sure do care about your family."
My eyes opened slowly, and I sat up in my bed. It took me another few minutes to realize that my hands were shaking, and a sob began to build in my throat. I looked around, reorienting myself. I'd been placed in my own room, a fact I was thankful for as I gasped for air, and moonlight filtered through the single window into the sparse furnishings of my new dorm. I picked up a glass of water, and my heart raced inside of my rib cage like a terrified, trapped bird. All my usual humor was gone - I was assailed by animal terror.
I had to get out of here. I couldn't just sit. To stay here and do nothing was to sink even deeper into despair. I'd won my optimism the hard way, and I was determined to keep it.
I climbed out of bed, my feet touching a cold stone floor. Shakily, I walked out the door, looking down the corridor as I wiped my face. My sister Violet was back from her mission in America, and her door was shut fast. The twins were in their own rooms, as well, having opted to room separately, much to my surprise. I thought I'd have to surgically remove them from each other when I'd told them. Kanda, Lavi, and Bookman's rooms were on the floor above me. Allen and Lenalee were on the floor below. For some reason, knowing where everyone was supposed to be gave me a little comfort. My footsteps were quiet, and I found myself walking past the training room as if my feet had a better idea of my intentions than I did.
Memories assailed me as I stared at the ornate, wooden doors. Since our last mission almost a month ago, Kanda, Lavi, and I had logged countless hours beyond these doors as they taught me the tricks of the trade (or at least tried to). Just thinking about it had me aching, but that sort of aching was better than the ball of needles tearing into my chest. I shivered as I pushed against the doors, pushing the thoughts out of mind in much the same fashion. The nightmare had had a lot more to it than just senseless fear.
For all intents and purposes, it hadn't been a memory. It was a true dream with all its nonsensical elements. But elements still persisted from memory, and I still recalled a pair of cold, blue eyes watching me as I did my best to turn away from him. I tried to ward it off, shrugging my shoulders as I looked around the training room.
There were mirrors along the walls in the two-storey-tall facility. Racks of weaponry lined the walls where mirrors weren't present, and there were plenty of targets to choose from throughout the long room. Mats littered the cold floor where others had failed to put them away. I recognized mine from the many puncture marks there were. I'd spent nearly three days learning how to fall away from a blade. Mugen had been overly helpful, instilling a sufficient amount of fear so practice felt a little more real. Kanda's stony expression definitely helped in that regard.
I looked around, peering into the other, smaller rooms that branched off the main hall, wondering if there was anyone around. I took a shuddering breath. Part of it was to make sure I didn't embarrass myself. The other part was paranoia. I really, really didn't want anyone sneaking up on me. As I was right now, I might grab the nearest weapon and try to hack off their head on principle.
You are not a victim.
I picked a target, trying to reach for that emotional part of me that would allow the best focus. Lavi had taught me that there were certain emotions I could control and magnify in order to stay alive in a particularly heavy fight, as well as prep myself before a skirmish. There were stages to my emotions, from a dose of resolve straight to controlled panic. Lavi had told me that controlled panic was probably the strongest and most useful, but it was also the most unruly.
"You've definitely got controlled panic in spades. Still, better safe than sorry, ne?"
I still wasn't sure whether that was a compliment or an insult.
I stared at my reflection in the wall next to me, eyeing the wavy frizz of brown hair piled on my head. My eyes were still puffy from just waking up, and I noticed that my freckles stood out more than ever from time spent outside. I still looked pitifully skinny. I didn't even have the luck to get some sort of inherited muscle. My hips weren't exceptionally wide, and I wasn't well-endowed, either. I had the body of a ten-year-old boy. It was amazing that I'd managed to make any money off this poor shell at one time.
And, out of nowhere, the panic came back as I thought on the other circumstances of my dream. I rubbed my face and turned away from the reflection, very suddenly disgusted.
You are not a victim.
I shook my hands out, reciting my mantra in my head. I wasn't a victim. I wouldn't be a victim. Victim meant that something unspeakable had happened, and there was nothing that could've been done for it, that it was an event that had happened without provocation. It also meant that it was alright for others to feel pity or sympathy for the victimized. None of those things applied to me. I chose my path and I would bear its consequences.
I rubbed the metal bands around my wrists, bidding them to take on their invoked form. Two large, dinner-platter sized rings took their place, each with a strand of bright blue light embedded along the edge. There was a hand grip on each one, designed to help me catch them when they were thrown, but I could honestly say that I was too chicken to attempt something like that. When I threw them, they buzzed like saws and cut through anything they touched besides stone. I'd managed to stick one of them in a pillar about twenty yards above the ground, and Lavi had had to climb up and get it with quite a bit of help from most of the Science Department. Embarrassment didn't even cover my feelings on the matter.
Still, the best I could do was try and practice aim. Kanda had told me that my whipping stance had been... well… less than perfect.
However, he did suggest the discus idea. He'd said my stance was better suited for someone who was going to chuck a piece of round metal than fling a whip. I was apparently good at bracing myself for hits, and that gave me a good foundation. Now I just had to learn not to fear my weapon. Two weeks later, he still couldn't get me to try and catch them on a rebound. Don't even get me started on the ricochets.
I weighed them each in hand. Both were fairly light, but not light enough that I had trouble controlling them. I was still terrified of slicing my hand open every time I chucked them. I stared at my target, zeroing in. Another tip Lavi had given me: focus on the target and be aware of everything. Take deep breaths. Only throw when ready.
That was easier said than done. Even with both of them literally walking me through the steps, I was still antsy about working with my new weapons. It took me months to get used to my whip, and I injured myself on a daily basis with that thing. It was hard to tell how long it would take me to get used to its new form.
I cocked my arm back, curling my arm around the metal ring, able to feel the blade nestled flush to the edge of the disc. I readied myself and -
The door opened with a creak, and it took all self control not to yelp with fright. I dropped my disc and danced backwards away from the door, holding up my remaining disc in front of me like a shield, despite the big hole in the middle of the ring. I peeked over the metal edge to see Kanda staring at me, distinctly not amused.
"What are you doing here?" I asked shakily, catching my breath.
I'm glad I didn't scream. I could at least keep up the illusion I'd gained some sort of courage.
"Tch," was the only answer I got as he walked off into one of the side rooms, clad in loose pants and a sleeveless shirt. Apparently I wasn't the only one who couldn't sleep. I let go of a breath I hadn't realized I was holding when I heard the familiar swish of a blade through air. I settled back into my discus throwing stance, and I wound up like a spring, aware of the tension in my back. Another thing Lavi had tried to teach me: relax. He was definitely a better instructor in that regard. Kanda's idea of getting me to relax was repeatedly smacking me with a sword sheath until I stopped tensing.
I let go of all muscles, feeling them loosen. I took a deep breath, and I let loose the disc. It spiraled away, going almost a foot above the target. I let my shoulders slump in frustration as I let out a spluttering breath. I'd managed to hit it yesterday!
As if in slow motion, I was aware that the disc was coming back, and I ducked. It hit the ground, bounced, and flipped over before stopping. They always came back to me, but that didn't mean I wanted them to.
I repeated the process nearly sixteen times, and every time, it seemed like I was getting progressively worse. With every throw, all I could do was picture the target as someone I knew, someone I either hated or had hated, someone I'd been betrayed by, someone who'd -
"Little girl, you sure do care about your family."
I abandoned trying to chuck my weapon, and I went straight to hacking away at the wooden target, feeling rage and frustration boil over as panic began to invade again, the nightmare getting to me. I couldn't let it get to me, though. I wasn't a victim. I wasn't about to become a victim.
"Should I ask how old you are?"
"What do you think?"
I shouldn't have come to the training room. I couldn't get anything done here. Even as I tried to get a grip on the discs in my hand, I could feel myself lose my grip on my frustration, and I found myself messily trying to slash away at the dummy, hardly making a rent in the wood surface because I was just so weak-
"What else can you do?"
"I..."
I backed away from the target, feigning a dodge, and I tried to throw the discs, one chipping the wood and the other one flying far too wide.
"I'll pay this much..."
"No... No, I... I won't... I mean, I don't..."
I picked up both weapons, panting as I glared at the target. I wouldn't let myself dwell on it. All I had to do was just hit that target again. I'd come pretty close. It just needed a little refining. After all, I hadn't done so bad -
"Wasn't so bad, was it?"
I watched as the two discs were sent off one by one like they had minds of their own, both coming back. It occurred to me that I was crying, and I was suddenly furious. I cried so much. Some days I wished I could rid myself of my easily bruised heart, so I could spend less time crying and more time fixing things. Feeling inordinately brave (or stupid - not sure which), I tried to snatch one of the discs out of the air as it came back -
"AH!"
I gripped my hand as the disc cut through the skin, the razor embedded in the disc so sharp that blood didn't flow for several seconds. I fell to my knees, ducking as the other disc went around me and smacked a wall with a sharp thok. I shook as I curled up around my injured hand, and I couldn't hold back the flood any longer. I was so frightened, and I couldn't make it go away. Every corner held the same face in the shadows, the face of a man I had known far too intimately and could not escape...
I sat there for several minutes, sobbing as I listened to the gentle swish swish of sword-metal hacking at imaginary enemies.
You are not a victim. You are not a victim. You are not -
I was aware that the sounds of sword practice had ended, and I was gripped with an unexplained bout of terror. I abruptly looked up, staring at Kanda's face as he stood a few feet from me. He had his eyes narrowed in suspicion, and I was almost glad for it. I scrambled to my feet, and I started to leave.
"Hey… wait a -"
A hand wrapped around my wrist, and I let out a high-pitched scream of fear. I yanked my wrist away, covering my mouth with both hands to hold off the hysterical giggling that followed. Kanda stared at me with confusion and something like concern.
"I'm fine. S-stay away from m-me. Please, just-t... stay away f-from me," I stated as calmly as I could manage, aware that my hand was bleeding all over my pajamas. Realizing I'd forgotten both discs, I walked resolutely past him, trying to suppress the sobs that seemed to evade my attempts at capturing them. I changed them to metal bands and snapped them around my wrists with fumbling fingers.
"Mag -"
"I d-don't want-t to talk a-about it," I tried to say, though for the most part the words were pretty incomprehensible from my sobbing. The fear was still there, gripping me. I couldn't even look at him as I tried to hurry out the door.
"Stop being melodramatic and -"
"I don't. Want. To talk about it," I ground out to the doors, holding on to myself as I tried not to shatter.
My forehead bumped the doors as I stood there, unable to do anything other than cry and hate myself for it. I was being horribly melancholy, and I couldn't stand melancholy. It was... counterproductive. I had always been the type to keep moving forward no matter the circumstances. I'd never had the time to sit and sob to myself 'woe is me'. I never let any of my siblings lament, either. The minute they could work, they were working. Thank God for that.
I couldn't stop. I had five kids to raise.
"Magnolia. Sit," was his simple command.
I'd gotten so used to obeying him that I did it almost automatically. He had me trained like a dog. I sat there, shivering as he walked towards me, and the panic flared again. This time, I pushed it down. When he'd reached me, he sat just out of my line of sight with something in hand, and I almost bolted out the door.
"What else can you do?"
"Hand," he tersely demanded, and I shakily extended my hand.
He took it roughly, and I tried to yank it back on instinct, but his grip was firm. I was hyper-aware of how calloused and dry his skin was, how warm he happened to be. It scared me how much I noticed just that one detail. I was shaking so hard he could probably feel it in his bones. He poured something over the wound, and I bit back a whimper as it stung. He began to wrap it up in gauze, pulling so tight that I could feel more tears prick my eyes as I sniffled. He tucked the end into my palm, and he got up and walked away. Surprised, I looked up at him, his ponytail swaying with each step he took. He walked back into the little side room he'd been using, and the sounds of practice resumed.
No questions. No glances. No other words. Just a bandage around the hand.
Confused and still frightened, I left. I knew that I wouldn't sleep for the rest of the night. Silently, though... I was grateful, that he didn't ask me any questions. He'd given me what I wanted - silence. He was good at that, though. Part of me wondered whether I should thank him, but I thought better of it. I bit my lip as I trotted down the hall, hoping that I wouldn't make too much racket. No use waking anyone else up.
"Ah, Magnolia! It's a pleasure to finally see you up and about!" Komui stated, too cheery for this hour of the morning.
I violently yanked back a chair and threw myself into it, feeling incredibly irritable. I'd changed the bandage on my hand twice, and it had just stopped bleeding. My hair was refusing to cooperate. My mind was in a state of disrepair. I couldn't get anything clean enough for my tastes, and Komui's office was about to send me to the nearest sanitarium, given the sheer disorganization. Papers, everywhere, in no particular order, strewn about like leaves in a forest - mugs, with varying amounts of coffee left in them - unfinished dossiers, books, and files in random piles - and all I could do was sit here and stare at them. It was like they were taunting me.
"Uh... Maggie? You don't look too good," Lavi stated hesitantly, and I snapped my head towards him.
"I don't. Want. To talk. About it," I drawled between my teeth, slapping on the most polite smile I could manage without breaking my face.
I hadn't slept at all last night. Luckily, I'd dealt with nightmares before, and I knew that eventually the fear would go away. That didn't mean I could actually get some shut-eye, though. Right now, I could scare the Boogey Man just by glaring at him. My face alone would frighten the pants off of an invading army. Lavi skittered to the very end of his couch with a terrified look, and for good reason.
I simmered in my chair, playing with a pencil I'd found on the end table nearest me. Komui was looking a bit nervous - I could guess why.
"Um, well, now that you're both here, I'd like to give you your mission information! There have been an unusual bout of regular disappearances in New England for the past century or two -"
"Little late there, don't ya think?" I grumbled to myself, my eyelid twitching.
"- and we thought that you two could go and investigate. The Finders do confirm that they know where the problems might originate, but unfortunately they can't get inside. That is why there is a special caveat for this mission, and specifically why we chose you two in particular," Komui stated, and my ears perked up at the word 'caveat'.
I didn't like that word. That word meant something bizarre was going to be involved. That word meant I might have to do something I didn't particularly like. I gripped my fists, and I tried to keep from flying across the table so I could strangle it out of Komui.
"You'll both be going to a sort of couple's retreat run by two old women on the New England seaside. We can't get any of our Finders in there because the ladies have ironclad property documents and they only allow legitimate customers into their resort. You two are about the same age, differing gender, get along fairly well, so..."
I think I may have accidentally ruined his end table by digging my nails into it. I could feel my ire rising to epic proportions. I... had to act... like I was married to him...? The two of us shared a glance, and we realized that the feelings were mutual.
"No. Not in a million years. Not in a billion years," I seethed.
"Nope nope nope, not doin' it. I refuse," Lavi stolidly professed.
Komui deflated against his desk, and he whined, "Why nooooot? I need two Exorcists who can at least act congenial towards each other! The ladies are incredibly suspicious of the church. Any attempts we make at getting inside are met with a line of lawyers. I would send Miranda and Noise, but Miranda is so shy and open that she puts windows to shame! Kanda's got all the acting ability of a typewriter, and Allen's too young!"
"Pff, and I'm any better? Have you seen me lie?" I asked, pointing to myself.
Lavi winced. He knew firsthand just how bad a liar I was. Little white lies were my specialty. I had no problems lying to small children. Adults... lying to adults made me nervous. And acting? Sheesh, I hadn't had to act since -
"Should I ask how old you are?"
- I'd done a school play when I was thirteen. That was the last time I'd acted. Of course, I hadn't done half-bad, but...
"Please, I'm begging you! My other options are Winters and Klaud, and that would take a miracle big enough to canonize me as a saint."
I rolled my eyes and threw my hands in Lavi's direction.
"Why don't you send him with Lenalee, then? They're both about the same age! Guys like him marry younger women! Totally feasible!" I suggested in a voice that was quickly climbing octaves.
Komui looked like he'd just been frozen solid. He stared at me in utter disbelief.
"Oh no. You did it now," Lavi muttered to me, and I hissed incredulously, "What? What did I do?"
"Lenalee will NEVER PARTICIPATE IN A DUPLICITOUS MARRIAGE. YOU'RE GOING AND THAT'S FINAL!" Komui suddenly shouted, stamping the papers.
I felt my jaw hit the floor. What was all that about?! Lavi buried his face in his hands and groaned while I slumped in my chair, breaking my pencil spitefully. As we left, I could hear Komui frantically calling Lenalee to his office, using coffee as an excuse.
That man scares me.
The road to New England wasn't too terrible. We'd been dropped off in Boston, and we were now in a little carriage, both of us wearing our civilian clothes. I was wearing a skirt again, and I had to say that it was odd to feel the swish of so much fabric after wearing pants for so long. Lavi looked sharp in a bottle green waistcoat and high-collared, starched shirt tied with a cravat.
"Okay, so this is our story. You're Margaret. I'm Louie. We're a wealthy couple from Baton Rouge. You were a debutante, and I snatched you up inside of six months. I'm the heir to a fleet of merchant ships, and you're the socialite. Sound simple enough?" Lavi asked, staring out the window.
He looked uncomfortable wearing civilian clothes. I didn't like it either - I missed my uniform, oddly enough. Violet had even remarked on it when I'd left. Perhaps it was the fact our uniforms were armored to the gills. Komui had given us about half a day to pack, and I'd grabbed the chance to catch up with my siblings while I stuffed all my belongings into a bag.
"You look stupid wearing a skirt again. I liked you in pants. You were more adventurous. I could actually see you doing something interesting." And these were the lovely parting words of my dearest, and second-youngest, sister.
"Maggie? Hey, you listening there? Hello?"
I snapped back to the present, and I stuttered, "Y-yeah, yeah, sure, I'm here. What did you say?"
He ruffled his red hair, quickly demolishing the neat 'do that Bookman had made of it. Now it was back to sticking out like a haystack. He wasn't wearing a bandanna this time, and it was odd to see him without it. I guess we both looked out of sorts without our usual get-up.
"I was just saying that we're almost there. You okay? You've been pretty grouchy. I haven't seen you like this before. Tired and snarky, yeah, but not constantly chomping at the bit to bite someone," Lavi stated, something glinting in his one eye, and I looked out the window in what I hoped was a nonchalant manner.
I shrugged, and I said, "I've been feeling off, that's all. I don't feel good. I was hoping that I could get another week in without having to tramp over half the Earth looking for monsters that want to kill me."
That answer didn't seem to satisfy him at all, but he let the subject drop. Suddenly, the carriage stopped, and we got out. Lavi paid the man with a few American bills out of his wallet, we got our bags, and we walked up to the gate.
"Wow."
My eyes glanced up and down at the old, wrought-iron fortress that passed for a mere gate to the retreat. It looked like this thing was used to keep out demons and Jersey devils, not vandals and thieves. Touching it seemed dangerous. There was so much... pointy everywhere.
"Well, we better get going, Madame," Lavi said with a mischievous glint, and I punched him lightly in the arm.
He winced playfully as he rubbed his offended limb, and I pushed open the gate. The thickly wooded road wound on for quite some time before reaching a beautiful cottage towards the end.
I'd read the mission dossier on the place, and it was almost a hundred acres. It extended to the cliffs that led into the sea. Every year for the past five years at exactly this time of year, a single couple would mysteriously leave for no reason at all, and no one ever heard from them again, family or otherwise. Rumor had it that there was some sort of buried treasure out beyond the cliffs where a galleon had shipwrecked after being blown off course, and local legend stated that it was cursed by a haunting of mysterious, ghostly creatures with mystical powers.
"Is this where we check in? It's kind of... quiet," I muttered under my breath, leaning towards him. He shrugged, and he knocked on the door to the cottage.
"Yeeeees?"
We both jumped as we twirled around, my hair standing on end as two voices creaked just behind us. Two old, wizened women smiled at us, their hair pulled painfully tight into buns, both wearing identical clothing. The only difference was that one of them was missing a tooth, and the other wore three earrings in one ear. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to tell them apart, and I was good at differentiating twins.
"Uh... we're the, uh, couplefrom Baton Rouge? We made reservations, and we were wondering where we could check in," Lavi stated, pulling at his collar as the two of us relaxed.
Despite the fact we were so far up north, it was unseasonably warm. I did my best to keep from wincing at the word 'couple'. It seemed inappropriate to imply any sort of romance between us. It was like saying that Tip and Mr. Fluffins were in some sort of relationship.
The two old ladies bobbed their heads, and the one missing a tooth stated, "I am Suzanna, and this is Agatha. We're the proprietors."
I'd guessed. The dossier hadn't said how old they were, and I could see why. Methuselah had nothing on these wrinkles.
"If you'd like to check in, just follow us here," Agatha warbled, and the two tottered up the stairs rather quickly for old women.
She gave Lavi a little eyebrow wave, and I watched his Adam's apple bob up and down in apprehension. I held in a laugh. We both went into their cottage. After a few minutes' deliberation and signing, the two of us were led to our cabin by the cliffs, which was a refurbished little one-room cottage with a bathroom, a bed, two wicker chairs, and a table as well as a small kitchenette in the corner.
It also smelled like old people and dead flowers. I was going to have to do something about that. And the clutter was going to drive me mad. What was it with old ladies and collecting everything they set their eyes on? If it had to do with love, flowers, or lace, they tacked it on a wall, or stuck in a jar, or put it on a shelf. I felt like I was being suffocated. None of it had been dusted either. Ugh, and that terrible print on the bedspread -
"Uh, Margaret. Margaret. Margie."
I snapped out of my daydreams of burning the horrific, dusty coverlet on the bed and looked at Lavi. He raised both eyebrows.
"Why are you looking at the bed with murderous intent?" he asked, and I scratched my head. I coughed, feigning an allergy to the dust.
"No reason."
The two old ladies had left us for the afternoon, saying that it was too late for us to meet the other four or five couples that were currently here. That was fine with me. I'd traveled a thousand miles, it seemed, and I needed to kick the dust off my feet. I sat in a wicker chair, and Lavi collapsed on the bed with a thump. He winced. Ho ho, it was firmer than he'd thought. I knew better than to flop down on old mattresses. My grandmother's had been terrible. I'd slept on quite a few stiff mattresses, most of which had been in old lady's houses, those who were kind enough to let a room to a poor girl and her five siblings. If I ever had the chance, I'd pay them all back. Most of the time I'd left before rent came up.
"So, what's on the agenda tomorrow?" I asked, trying to distract myself.
I rubbed the bridge of my nose between two fingers, hoping to alleviate the headache that was slowly claiming ground.
Lavi was quiet for a minute as he thought, and he told me, "More than likely, we'll just have a look around, meet the folks, go down to the little town by the way, that sort of thing. We've got eight days, after all. No need to rush."
I scoffed. Most missions took me a good month to do. I was going to need a miracle to finish one in eight days.
"Hey, you never know. A lot of the time, these sorts of things aren't even Akuma. They're just disappearances," Lavi said, sitting up.
I stretched and yawned, "Yeah, but it's odd when it happens on the same lunar phase every year, isn't it?"
He shrugged at that one. Point one for me! Of course, I wasn't exactly sure what I was arguing for. I'd be more than happy to learn that the disappearances were just couples out on a lark coincidentally at around the same time every year rather than being gruesomely murdered.
"Either way, I say we take this as a well-earned vacation, ne? We get an entire week off!" Lavi said, bouncing off the bed towards the full length mirror standing next to the window. He tried to undo the cravat that Bookman had tied around his neck (I don't know how the man survived without his "grandfather"), but it looked like Bookman took his knot tying skills from the navy. Lavi started to mutter to himself after about five minutes of trying to undo the stupid thing, and I rolled my eyes and got out of my chair. This was a woman's job, obviously.
"Turn around and let me see," I said, and Lavi pouted in the mirror.
"I can do it myself!" he whined, until he realized that he'd gotten absolutely nowhere.
Begrudgingly, he stomped around in a circle until he was facing me. I tucked my finger underneath the cravat, looking at it from both sides. There were some knots that were harder to undo than others, but in general the harder they were to undo, the prettier they tended to be. The twins had gone to school for a short period of time -
"Should I ask how old you are?"
- and they'd worn uniforms. The cravats had been part of it, and I'd done who knew how many knots every day because they couldn't seem to ever get it exactly right. This one looked exceptionally tough...
"Stop moving around. I can't untie it if you keep wriggling," I muttered as I picked it apart. I looked up at Lavi, and he shifted awkwardly, hands behind his back. Suddenly, he had that 'naughty little boy' look in his eye, and he leaned forward as he stated, "So you're good at taking off clothes?"
I glared at him, exceedingly not in the mood for flirting. I yanked on the cravat, which was now in a slip-knot loop, and he coughed as it closed around his neck.
"Easy, easy," Lavi laughed as he eased his fingers in between the cravat and his neck -
-and for a second our fingers were caught together. I yanked them back, and I said with a nervous chuckle, "Looks like you can get the rest yourself."
I walked over to the bed, sitting down into a mushroom cloud of dust, and Lavi looked at me with a strange expression.
"Maggie, are you -?"
Thankfully, God intervened with a well-timed knock on the door. The both of us turned our heads, and I rubbed the metal bands around my wrists in apprehension. The two old ladies hadn't said they'd be back...
I opened the door with a creak, and a man and a woman stood there expectantly. They were both dark-skinned Hispanics, with black hair, large liquid-brown eyes, and long, straight noses. The woman was drop-dead gorgeous, and the man looked like he'd just walked out of a spa. I swallowed, feeling very plain in my travelling skirt and road-rumpled hair.
"Hello. We're the Reyes from down the way, and we'd thought we would say hello," Mr. Reyes said with a warm smile, extending a hand.
Lavi popped up over my shoulder, and his brain automatically switched off at the sight of Mrs. Reyes. He was starting to ogle, and I elbowed him in the stomach with a plastered smile. He coughed and croaked a "Good afternoon." We both shook hands and made small talk for a little while as they asked us where we were from, what our names were, how long we were saying, the works.
"If you're planning on staying so long, you should come to our soiree. It'll be on the pavilion in the next five days. We're inviting everybody," Mrs. Reyes said.
I thought Lavi was about to drool on my shoulder.
"Sure, sure," I said with a polite smile. "That sounds like fun! We'll keep it in mind. We really don't know what to do around here - being from the Deep South, we're a little lost in this nick of the woods."
The two of them laughed at my little country colloquialism, and Mr. Reyes said, "Well, in that case, we're having a bit of a party down near the river as well."
That piqued my interest. What was this about a river?
"Huh, definitely sounds like something we should look into. Right, honey?" Lavi asked, milking the last word for all he could get. He hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me in, bumping me against his hip.
I was going to kill him, and brutally. It was taking all my willpower to keep me from taking my hands and wrapping them around his neck. I was doing all I could to manage my "wife" persona as I imagined the many different ways I was going to seek vengeance.
"Oh, yes, shmoopsie poo. It seems wonderful," I shot back. His expression went from mischievous to 'dear lord, what have I done'.
"Then we can go to town, dearest."
"And I've heard there's a beach, too, honey bunch."
"So, mon amour, I guess we could go."
"Hmmm, yes, indeed, bunny boo, I guess we could."
The Reyes left as things slowly devolved, the two of us out to make the most ridiculously saccharine pet name we could manage. Once they were out of earshot, I glared at him with unabashed annoyance.
"Honey?" I asked, walking back into the cottage.
Lavi laughed and asked, "What? Not like yours was any better. Schmoopsie poo. I haven't heard that one before."
I grumbled as I threw myself into the bed, fully clothed.
"You're sleeping in the chair."
"Wait, what? Maggie, that's not fair! My poor spine! Come on, lemme sleep on the bed! I promise I won't bother you!"
"I already shared sleeping space with one man for a week. I won't do it again. You're sleeping in a chair. No buts."
"What if I pinkie swear?"
"No is no is no!"
