Thirty: What Really Matters

Heather and Dagur found her sitting aimlessly on the couch, the pictures carefully placed on the table, an almost empty bottle of wine in her hand as she reread the letter for about the fiftieth time. Dagur looked around and groaned, going to Hiccup's room and confirming that he was gone. He emerged, shaking his head as he found Heather hugging Astrid, who was sobbing.

"He's gone!" she whimpered. "He broke off the engagement and headed straight to the airport. I just missed him…"

"Except you were never engaged, were you?" Dagur asked her pointedly. She looked up guiltily as Heather frowned at her 'security adviser'.

"Did he tell you this?" she demanded and her brother scowled back.

"Look, I won his trust by never using him or lying to him and revealing my own vulnerability to him…because that was what he needed to see," he said firmly. "And when he needed a friend, who was there for him? Not you! What exactly did you do to win his trust, sis?" Frowning, Heather stroked Astrid's hair.

"I made sure he had enough money, clothes and whatever he needed," she said.

"Big deal," Dagur snarked. "That was Astrid's money. And you did it to suit your charade anyway."

"He forgave me," Heather said quietly.

"But you didn't help him," Dagur pointed out.

"I love him," Astrid said softly.

"Did he know?" Dagur asked pointedly.

"I told him lots of times," she protested, wiping her nose.

"Was that before of after you told him it didn't matter because 'It's not like we're really engaged, is it?'" he asked her snarkily. Heather stared at her and her brother gave a smug smile. "Yes, Hiccup told me," he revealed. "He was utterly devastated-because he gave you his heart and you basically abandoned him when you had a chance to go off with the big kids and then spat on his love for you."

"I don't even know where to start with that accusation!" Astrid told him, her tone partway between bewildered and angry.

"Well, you don't deny you went off with the male soccer players and the Valkyries to a Club so you could mingle with the winners," Dagur said thoughtfully, perching on the other couch. "You abandoned Hiccup-just like you did before. You forgot him. And when he waited up for you, concerned and worried, you arrive back with Thuggery trying to eat your face and get into your knickers…or did I misread the subtext?" Blushing scarlet, Astrid shook her head.

"No, that was pretty much it," she admitted self-consciously, feeling Heather's accusing eyes on her.

"You didn't, did you?" she asked urgently. Astrid rolled her eyes.

"Of course not!" she replied. "Hiccup stopped everything."

"And then you argued and he stood up for himself for once-and then BAM! You hit him with the eight words of doom."

"You know, Hiccup's sarcasm is really contagious," Astrid told him.

"For a guy who has been where he was and who was let down so badly by you once, it was a completely devastating blow," Dagur told him. "He's in love with you and he hoped you sort of felt the same…but instead…you throw it all back at him."

"I apologised," she protested but Dagur shook his head, leaning forward.

"Some things can't be unsaid because they do too much damage," he told her.

"But I never meant to hurt him," she protested. "I..."

"But you did anyway," Dagur told him quietly. "Look, think about it from his point of view, not your selfish privileged Astrid-is-the-centre-of-the-Universe-and-no-one-else-matters point of view. In your relationship, you have all the power, Astrid. He came into it with literally nothing. You asked him to leave his home, his family, his friends and support network…"

"And his psycho bitch girlfriend…" the blonde muttered. Dagur shrugged.

"But he was dependent on your charity, he lived in your apartment, he had to arrange his job so he could work from here, he had to fit around your engagements and work, he had to try to find things to do…" Astrid gestured to the watercolours.

"I think he did just fine there," she commented as both the siblings' jaws dropped.

"These are…amazing…" Heather murmured, hesitatingly reaching out to touch the image of her. Despite everything that she had said, how professional and cool she had been to him, it was a sympathetic picture of her, her green eyes smiling as she had cast a sidewards knowing look at the 'artist' that she recognised from the mirror. Hiccup had captured it perfectly-and from memory. "Gods, he's talented."

"And chronically lacking in any semblance of self-confidence," Dagur pointed out, seeing his image grinning at the camera in a 'brother' moment, his powerful arms folded across his chest on a confident manner. "He was just beginning to build a tiny foundation of confidence for himself, starting to feel that he may possibly belong and be making a life for himself…and you cut the whole thing away. The moment you reminded him of the arrangement, that for you it wasn't real…he knew you would end it. So he jumped first…to save himself."

She handed the former soldier the note.

"He said he did it to save me from ending it," she murmured. Dagur read the words twice and blinked.

"My poor brother," he sighed. "He really doesn't believe you ever loved him."

"But I do!" Astrid exploded. "I love the fact he isn't an asshole footballer, that he is caring and kind, that he makes me breakfast and…"

"So far, you're describing your mother," Dagur pointed out dryly. Astrid snorted in irritation.

"And that he's funny and sassy and brilliant and unexpected and-and brave and he loves me and I feel safe in his arms. And his lips…"

"Oh Thor. Why didn't you tell him this? Dagur demanded. She sighed.

"I did…most of it," she admitted. "But I guess he didn't hear it…or didn't believe it…"

"Then make him believe it," Heather said firmly. Slumping back on the couch, Astrid closed her eyes.

"How?" she asked.

"Give him the power," Dagur said. "Go to him."

"Last flight of the day has gone," Astrid sighed. There was a pause and Dagur rolled his eyes.

"Girl-you are a top soccer star," he told her unnecessarily. "You mix with billionaires and rock stars and film stars. Who has a private plane?" Heather gave a smile.

"I've got one on speed dial," she smirked and thumbed the number of the owner of the Archi Valkyries.

"Johann Trayder speaking," the answer came after barely a ring. Heather smiled.

"Heather Oswaldson here," she introduced herself calmly. "I'm ringing on behalf of Astrid Hofferson."

"Ah-how is the magnificent Miss Hofferson?" Johann asked smoothly over the speaker. He had been an owner of the Valkyries for four years and was generally considered a 'good' owner-but though he was always pleasant and seemed interested, everyone knew he was ruthless and would fire a manager or sell a player without hesitation if he thought they would hamper his aim of winning the league and the Regional Champions League competition. He was a self-made man, an entrepreneur whose business dealings were certainly shrouded in mystery and rumours but which had left him a billionaire with an affable persona, an eclectic taste in clothes and an ice-cold heart. He was the toughest negotiator Heather knew.

"She needs your help, Mr Trayder," Heather said. "I'm sure you're aware that her fiancé has cut off their engagement and left Archi."

"I was aware," the man said in a sympathetic tone. "She must be devastated…"

"She is inconsolable and needs to speak to him urgently…but the last flight to Berk has left," Heather said.

"And I presume that you hope I can alleviate this problem?" Johann asked politely.

"Your Gulfstream would be able to solve the problem and get Astrid where she needs to be," Heather said. "I mean-she is your star player, an asset and if she is broken-hearted, her effectiveness will be reduced!"

"So you're suggesting the value of my asset will be diminished if I don't assist her in getting back the man she loves?" Johann asked lightly. "Hmm. An interesting ploy, Heather. But emergency flight plans, fuel, landing fees all cost money."

"Astrid is an asset with a significant value," Heather argued. "And…"

"Yes?" Johann prompted her.

"I will waive my percentage of Astrid's Image Rights for a year," Heather offered. There was a pause.

"Deal," Johann said. "The plane will be fuelled and ready at the airport as soon as you can arrive. Hanger One. My pilot will take you to Berk and will to bring you back, hopefully in success." Astrid, who had been holding her breath, gave a relieved sigh.

"Thank you, Mr Trayder," she said. There was a chuckle.

"I expect you to win, my dear-because I cannot imagine Astrid Hofferson losing in a match this important," Johann said. "Good luck!" And then he hung up. Dagur grinned.

"That was very noble of you, sis," he commented.

"Astrid is my bestie…and though I am a hard-nosed businesswoman, some things are more important than money," she said. "Now can you get her to the airport?" Dagur bounced to his feet but then paused, staring into her eyes. "And Gods, you had better come up with a really good apology-and a reason why you abandoned him. Because why would he ever believe you cared for him when you leave him and go off with Thuggory. And especially when you come back with him..."

Astrid sighed, playing his her fingers and staring at the floor.

"Look, by the time the awards came up, I had already had four champagnes and two glasses of wine...and I don't drink," she said. "And when I went up for the awards photo, we were all given more champagne...and my head was buzzing and I felt dizzy. I asked Thuggery to get Hiccup so we could go to the club and he went to fetch my purse and Hiccup. He said he'd talked to Hiccup and he had said he didn't want to come and he wanted me to have a good time. So then we headed out..."

"And you know he lied, right?" Dagur snapped. "He came back, grabbed your bag and left without ever speaking to Hiccup. He had no idea where you were-but Thug conveniently removed your date." Astrid covered her face with her hands.

"I should have texted him myself..." she murmured.

"Of course you should," Dagur snapped. "Gods, I know how miserable he felt at coming back from looking for you in that Gala where you had vanished and finding your purse-and you-gone."

"Are there photos of you and Thug in the Bifrost?" Heather asked sternly but Astrid shook her head.

"The bouncers beat up any paps and destroy any cameras there," Astrid reminded her. "I remember laughing and mainly dancing with the Valkyries and I know Thug kept coming and wanting to make out...and I think we did a bit...but I was sore that Hiccup hadn't come..."

"And then you brought him back to the apartment?" Heather asked her shortly. Astrid glared at her.

"He was just going to walk me up because I couldn't even walk straight...and I was so drunk that when we got in...I kind of forgot when he tried to kiss me..." Astrid murmured and closed her eyes. "Gods, how can I ever apologise?"

"Try," Heather said sternly. "Be honest. Bare your heart to him. This is Hiccup-he's a decent guy. And he'll be hurt and angry and he has every right to be. But I think he may forgive you."

"And if he doesn't?" Astrid asked him hesitantly. Heather sighed.

"Then you regret it for the rest of your life," she said. "We-both you and I-treated him as inconsiderately and callously as Bella. And maybe we didn't physically abuse him but what we both did was as hurtful. He's a man, a person with his own feelings and his own hopes and dreams. You were his dream, his hope-and you let him down horribly. To bring Thuggory back was the worst thing you could do because you told Hiccup he wasn't good enough for you, that you didn't care for him as he cared for you."

"He believes you want a footballer, a sportsman, not an auburn fishbone," Dagur reminded her. She shook her head.

"All I want is the best and kindest man I know...and I will do anything he says to win him back," Astrid said and took a deep breath. "No matter what he asks me to do, I will do it. Even...quitting the Valkyries. Because he is worth it. I let him down. It's time he realised he deserves to come first. That he is more important than anything else in my life. And it took losing him to realise that." Dagur finally smiled, hearing genuine contrition and hoping that Hiccup would be willing to listen to her. And knowing in his heart he would...though not being sure how he would react. But they could only try. He fished out his keys.

"Come on, sister," he grinned. "Time to go get your Hiccup!"

oOo

Arriving home in Berk was depressing. There was no other word for it. Clearing baggage reclaim with Toothless meowing irritably in his carrier and juggling his computer bag, single duffle bag and cat carrier as he struggled his way to the taxi rank. For the first time, he missed Cami and her knowing wink, missed having people helping him…but this was how it had to be. Sooner or later, Astrid would have ended it and at least, he could leave with his head held high. But what he hadn't expected was the variety of unfriendly or hostile looks.

And then it clicked. He had dumped the most eligible woman on Berk, the national heroine and though he had made it clear it was his decision, people were looking at him as if he had betrayed Astrid. He had made her blameless in the break-up…but to the people of Berk, that made him to blame. Some may even consider him ungrateful, for she had stepped forward and protected him from his abusive ex-partner and he had walked away, saying he couldn't cope with the lifestyle. Wearily, he loaded his luggage into the taxi and allowed himself to be driven back into town, the cat carrier by his side.

"Do you think I'm insane, bud?" he murmured. The cat inclined his head.

"I do," the driver said. The license read "Sven Svenson'.

"I wasn't talking to you," Hiccup said quietly.

"Too posh to talk to me, are you?" the driver snapped. "Too big for your boots, more like. That Astrid was offering you everything and all you had to do was to be big enough to stand at her side. But no-as soon as she gets rid of that lunatic woman Harsem, you decide it's all to much for you so you run away from her. That's just ungrateful."

"And, I would suggest, none of your business," Hiccup told Sven the Taxi Driver. "Please-this is hard enough and there are far more things going on than I would reveal in a Press Conference."

"Hey-I'm entitled to my opinion!" the taxi driver said.

"But I don't have to hear it," Hiccup said sarcastically. "I paid for a taxi drive, not a therapy session."

"This is Berk," Sven told him firmly. "Every taxi ride is a therapy session."

"Oh Thor-Toothless-we'll discuss this later," Hiccup groaned as the cat gave a little trill and a small black paw slid through the bars and rested gently on Hiccup's arm. He looked and a smile lifted his lips. "Thanks, bud. At least you understand."

"Crazy," Sven murmured as they swung off the Freeway and headed into he outskirts of town. "Maybe Astrid is better off without you after all."

It wasn't much better when he got home, for he found his father was away for a couple of days on business over in Berserk. Arriving in an empty, silent house just emphasised how much he had given up, how he already missed the apartment and the prospect of seeing Astrid every day, of spending time with her, of being able to be with her.

She made it clear it wasn't real, he reminded himself. It would only have ended. At least you took control for once. And you know Astrid won't go psycho on you if you decide something for yourself.

Toothless, of course, was delighted to be home once more, immediately emerging from the cat carrier and checking his territory for any intruders. The little black feline gave a meow and then turned back, his big green eyes fixed on Hiccup's. The man crouched down and immediately, Toothless rubbed against his hand, eyes closing with a loud purr as he was scratched under the chin.

"I'm glad I've got you, bud," he sighed. "I don't think I could cope if I lost you." Ears pricking, Toothless gave a little chirrup and then turned away with the flick of his tail, ready to check his home as Hiccup stared after him and slowly got to his feet.

"Welcome home," he sighed.

oOo

He had barely completed unpacking when his phone rang and he groaned inwardly: it was Snotlout. He rarely got called by his cousin so he assumed it wasn't a coincidence that he had dumped his high profile girlfriend and his obnoxious cousin was suddenly reaching out. And he knew that if he didn't answer, Snotlout would keep ringing.

"Hey, Snotlout," he said with an inwards groan. "How nice to hear from you…"

"Hiccup-have you lost your mind?" his cousin yelled at him.

"Wow-I'm doing great-how about you?" Hiccup sassed back.

"I mean-you were going out with Astrid…and while a Fishbone like you should never have a chance with her, the fact that she went out with you and got engaged…you should have thanked Thor every minute of the day for your good fortune!" his cousin scolded him. "But you dump her? Astrid Hofferson? You have to be off your head!"

"Are you aware that gratitude someone will go out with you isn't the best basis for a relationship?" he asked his cousin pointedly, the image of Bella floating before his eyes.

"Look, Hicc-the way you are, you should be grateful anyone wants to go out with you!" Snotlout told him bluntly. "Let alone the Soccer Valkyrie! I mean, half the men in the Archipelago would want to go out with her. And you won the Jackpot-and then handed it back."

"It wasn't like that!" Hiccup told him snarkily.

"Still, if she's done with you, she'll be ready for the Snotman to swoop in and whisk her away," his cousin told him with no insight. "She'll barely even notice you're not there…"

That was the problem in the first place.

"Snotlout-maybe you should give her some time?" he suggested aloud. "She's got a lot on at the moment…" There was a pause as the brash young man thought about it.

"Give her a few days to realise she's alone and BAM! Enter the Snotman!" he mused. "Thanks, Hicc! I'll tell her you gave us your blessing…"

"Snotlout, if those words cross your lips, I'll tell your father about Gunnhilda Rasmussen!" he threatened as a sudden silence came from the end of the line.

"You wouldn't!"

"I would!" Hiccup said hotly. "I haven't given you my blessing and never would. Who Astrid chooses is her choice, not yours. And I would advise her never to go out with you, Snot! You're completely wrong for her."

"As you said, Hicc-it's her choice, not yours," his cousin told him superiorly. "And who can turn down the Snotman?"

"Every woman on Berk, apparently," Hiccup replied sarcastically.

"I'm just keeping my options open," Snotlout retorted superiorly. "Now can you give me Astrid's number so I can call her?"

There was a pause.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Snotlout-you'll have to find that for yourself," the auburn-haired man said.

"But you gotta have it…"

"And I was only given it in confidence," Hiccup told him. "And as she hasn't given it to you, you aren't mean to have it. Sorry."

"You know, you're never going to see her again-and when we get married, I'm gonna make sure you're never asked to the wedding," Snotlout threatened spitefully.

"Good," Hiccup flung back at him.

"Oh c'mon, Hicc-I'm your cousin…"

"I'll speak to you soon, Snot. Bye!"

Staring at his phone, the words CALL ENDED still on the screen, Hiccup felt his heart shudder in despair. Snotlout was a reasonable barometer of the average Berkian on the street and he and Taxi Driver Sven had both been hostile of his decisions. And then it struck him: he had protected Astrid…but at his own cost.

"But that was the choice I made," Hiccup sighed aloud as he turned and headed upstairs to his childhood bedroom. He needed to set up his computer and get back to work. His life was here, on Berk and even without Astrid, he still had a life to lead. So he scarcely registered the front door opening and the creak of stairs as someone walked up to find him.

"Is that you, Gobber?" Hiccup called, plugging in the cable to his computer.

"Guess again," said Bella.