I woke up confused. For some reason I was on the bathroom floor, but I had no clear idea of how I got here or why there was blood on the floor. It didn't take me very long to figure out that I was in pain, though.
I curled up, grunting as my healing ribs seemed to stab me vehemently. My head was pounding, and it felt like someone had smacked my skull with a ball-peen hammer. My memory was very fuzzy, and I was struck with the fear that I had somehow managed to get drunk in the tub. I wouldn't put it past me to get drunk in the tub, and I also wouldn't put it past me to hit my head on something after getting out of the tub while drunk.
`I'd done weirder things whilst inebriated, let's put it that way.
Yet, I didn't smell alcohol (or the aroma of emptied stomach contents). The pain took over again, and I shivered. It was cold in here. How long had I been on the floor?
My memory was beginning to come back. Lavi and I had been talking for most of the night, sitting on the roof of the hotel where they had a little garden table. We'd been drinking something (I really hope it wasn't spirits- heaven knows what I said to him, and he'd remember every word), and finally I'd called it quits. But now, I was here on the floor and there was no clear recollection between point A and point B. It followed my typical pattern, but I had no light-headedness, so that wasn't it.
Someone knocked on the door, and I sharply looked up and instantly regretted it. I hissed as I tried to get myself off the floor, and I found myself teetering back and forth, clinging to my towel. I put my foot in a puddle of blood, and I almost gagged. I didn't even take my own bodily fluids well.
I croaked to the door, "Coming."
I held on to the counter (I could see where a splatter of blood was smeared across the edge- that solves that mystery), and I managed to reach the door.
"What do you want?" I squeaked, sounding like I'd downed a squirrel and stolen its voice.
"What've you been doing in there? I've had to pee for hours!" Lavi whined, and I sighed with relief. I hadn't been out all night. That made me feel a little better, but not by a whole lot. It was like the sweet cherry on top of a dog turd. Not nearly enough to turn this situation around.
"Sorry, just... I, uh..."
I was having a hard time focusing. I wasn't sure if that was because I'd hit my head or because my ribs were screaming at me all types of profanity through my nervous system. I leaned against the door, suddenly losing my balance.
I was really beginning to worry now. I should have regained my ability to at least stand up straight. Stringing together words was getting more and more difficult. I leaned back, trying to get my feet to listen to my brain, but my legs were having none of that. I suddenly landed on my butt on the floor, and I winced as my tailbone made a very intimate acquaintance with the tile.
"Mag? Maggie, are you alright?"
I scrunched my eyes shut, and I said, "Yeah! Just give me a minute."
Or three. Or ten. Maybe sixty.
I rolled on to my hip, and I slowly stood up with the help of the counter. I had had it with this bodily comedy of errors, and I sincerely wanted to get dressed and be able to see straight.
It didn't sound like Lavi was going to give me a minute, honestly. I could hear him running down the hall, and then there was a heated argument outside between a higher pitched voice and a low rumbling one. Oh great, he was going to get him involved. I already had a headache; I didn't need another migraine barking up my tree because I couldn't get Lavi off his back.
My feet seemed to be confused as to where they were, because one tripped over the other, and I was back to square one, this time on one knee. My sense of balance was better, but my toes were numb now, probably because of the tile floor. One hand was preoccupied with a towel, the other was gripping the counter like it was going to run away from me. My hair was wet and caked with blood, and I must have looked like Bloody Mary, if Bloody Mary had had a nice soak before they killed her.
There was a 'chk' noise at the door, and I saw a sword poke between the doorjamb and the door, severing the lock and splintering the wood.
I stared. You have got to be kidding me? That was not going to come out of my could have waited.
The sword was jiggled downward. Obviously not Kanda operating the sword, though I could only imagine the hell Lavi was about to receive for mishandling Mugen. It was a feat that he'd got it off the Japanese swordsman to begin with. I could hear more harsh words rhyming with 'duck' and 'fit' and 'shell', and my mother instinct gave me the insatiable urge to grab the nearest bar of soap for that dirty mouth. However, it was clear I wasn't in fit condition to dole out punishment for potty mouths, so I tried to straighten up.
The door banged open, and the boys stared at me. I smiled weakly.
"Sorry for taking so long. I had an accident," I explained lamely.
The two of them stared at me, and I knew it was bad. I could see that in the way they were looking at the floor and my hair. Lavi looked only a little horrified (not sure because of the bad hair day or the blood pouring out of my face) and Kanda was... well, he looked a little less pissed than he usually did, so I would overestimate and say he pitied me.
Lavi helped me out of the bathroom, leading me to my bed while Kanda went to go and get Bookman (because he wasn't about to clean all the blood that was in the bathroom).
"What happened?" Lavi asked calmly, digging through my things for clothes I could put on. I hung my head, realizing I was sitting here in a towel, half-soaked, disoriented, and it was more than likely I'd been drunk. Not my finest moment, especially if I'd gotten drunk in front of my only friend. Doing good, Maggie. Doing good.
If you couldn't tell, I am very very very afraid of being drunk.
Lavi didn't look like he'd been dipping into the sauce, though. This wasn't adding up to much, but my brain wasn't in shape to add two plus two, much less make sense of events.
"I can't remember. Just... we were sitting on the roof. And then I called it off for the night. What time is it?" I asked, staring at the clock on the wall. I could hardly make out the numbers, though, because it was so bright from the lit lantern.
"It's only eleven forty-five. Bookman was busy using my bathroom, so I went to see if you were in yours," he answered, laying a nightgown and underwear, at which point I immediately clamped my lips together and tried my hardest not to turn into a tomato. I wondered if it would be impolite for me to hide underneath my bed and never come out.
I hugged myself, turning my head away. I wasn't going to lie. I felt very ashamed.
"Hey, let me get a look at that, okay?" Lavi said, pointing to my head. I nodded without looking at him, almost feeling like crying all of a sudden. I felt vulnerable, physically and mentally, mostly because I was so out of it, and I couldn't help but notice that he was trying his hardest not to stare at my bare legs or my shoulders. It was awkward for both of us, especially because I was so averse toward physicalcontact.
I tried to distract myself. Eleven forty-five... I'd said I'd go take a bath at ten fifteen, and I'd fallen sometime around eleven. I'd been out cold for forty-five minutes. I couldn't be drunk. I can't have been, otherwise I still would be now.
Of course, the jury was out on that one, considering I could barely state a sentence.
Lavi turned my head up towards the lamp hanging from the ceiling, and I was careful to keep my eyes shut. He gently turned my head this way and that, and I let him, trying hard not to shoo him away. His fingers were dry and cool, but they probed the edge of the wound on my head, and I hissed.
"You really knocked yourself a good one. This is going to need stitches," Lavi muttered to himself.
"Stitches?!" I screeched, pulling my head away. "No no no no, no stitches. I've let you and Bookman sew up my legs and arms and who knows what else, but you are not going to seamstress your way all over my face!"
"Mag, it won't be that bad! It'll leave a little scar, but-"
"Well, it's not like I'm looking for a husband anyways," I huffed, crossing my arms.
"Aw, come on, don't be like that. We're good seamstresses! You won't even notice it was there -"
Suddenly, a rag flopped over Lavi's face, and an irate swordsman grumbled, "Bookman wants you to help clean the bathroom. She bled a lot."
I didn't think I could hang my head lower. I was wrong. This was almost as bad as the time I was in Phuket with these people. Bathrooms were just bad luck in my case.
While the Bookmen were cleaning the bathroom and Kanda was doing, well, nothing, I hastily dressed while sitting on the bed. I stared at my feet for a while, my head clearing a little bit more now that I was sitting still. It wasn't long before Bookman came out of the bathroom with his bucket and rag, and he walked over to me.
"I need to assess whether you have any brain damage," Bookman said to me bluntly.
Oh, I already had brain damage. I'd agreed to be an someone crazy does that.
"Alright. Fire away," I sighed.
I'd been through enough of these exams to know what he'd ask. I was notoriously clumsy, and I'd done this drill probably five times since training with Kanda. Head wounds were an occupational guarantee as his student.
"What is your full name?"
"Magnolia Valdis."
"What is your occupation?"
"Monster-chaser and deadweight."
There was a moment of silence as Bookman stared at me, unamused. Somewhere, I heard a snicker that was suspiciously familiar. I resisted the urge to lob a boot at it.
"Fine. An Exorcist."
"What was your date of birth?"
"June 2, 1878."
"How many fingers?"
He held up two gnarled fingers, yellowed claw-like fingernails protruding past his fingertips. If I'd been well enough, I would've shuddered. No one should be allowed to have those fingernails.
"Two fingers," I sighed.
Bookman leaped atop the nightstand by the bed and pulled the lamp off its stand, and then he lowered it over my eyes, checking both. I squinted at the brightness, but apparently I passed that test, because he put the lamp back. Deciding I was in good mental health (or as good as mental health gets for a person who fights devil creatures all day), he released me from his probing questions and went on his way.
"Keep an eye on her. She has a concussion from striking her head against the counter. I wouldn't doubt that she's confused and a little dizzy. Don't let her get up or do anything strenuous for a little while. Any sort of activity might incur another accident," Bookman commanded Lavi.
Hoo boy. I get a personal servant to wait on me hand and foot. Most people would be okay with that, but I honestly feel guilty making people do things for me.
Of course... considering it was Lavi...
His shoulders drooped and he whined, "Fine. But why me?"
Glad to know he was so willing to serve.
"Because Kanda would more than likely kill her, and the Order wouldn't take that kindly," Bookman grumbled on his way out the door. "I will be back with needles and thread. Clean up her head wound. And do not agitate her, idiot apprentice."
"Since when do I ever agitate her?"
"On a daily basis."
With that, he'd hobbled out the door, just leaving the two of us. Lavi went into the bathroom, and I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of running water. My stomach was tap-dancing on top of my intestines, and my brain was doing the tango with my spinal cord. My body was having riotous fun without my consent, and I was none too happy about it.
Lavi came over with a bowl of warm water and a rag, and I heard him kneel by the bed. He was close enough that I could smell him, the aroma of paper and ink and maybe something else, cold like mint. Every sound he made was like a pin driven into my brain, and his smell was almost overwhelming now. It was comforting, in a weird way, though. I was used to it.
"Do you remember anything else now that you're sitting still?" he asked, beginning to wipe away the blood from my forehead, starting from the far side and edging closer to the actual wound.
Because I'd been lying on my side, it had tracked down my nose and face. I scrunched my face as he approached the wound, which was very tender. Sheesh, there was no way it was a counter that did this to my face. It felt like an elephant tried to play golf with my nose as a tee.
"No, just that I had been in the tub. Everything else is foggy. I didn't drink, did I?" I asked guiltily, afraid of the answer.
"No, we didn't drink. What makes you ask?" Lavi asked, and though I couldn't see him through my eyelids, I could feel him giving me that questioning look. He always did when I asked seemingly random questions.
"Just... wondering," I said, my voice jumping an octave.
It was a wonder I managed to lie through an entire week. My voice was a better truth serum than any sort of potion the Science Department could cook up. Still, he didn't ask anything more. For that I was grateful. Of all the people in the Order, he was the one most sensitive to my history. He didn't ask about my past, and I didn't ask about his.
Even better, the two of us generally didn't talk about my... former iniquities. Lavi had only just learned of my distaste of spirits, but I wasn't about to give away my reasons for why. In the same vein, I didn't ask about why he jumped at the pop of guns, or go glassy-eyed staring at soldiers, or talked in his sleep.
"Mmmm. Well, I've got good news for you. This looks worse than it actually is. Head wounds bleed a lot," Lavi reported, scrubbing around the sides of the wound. I winced, finally opening my eyes.
"Ouch! Gentle, gentle!"
"Hey. I don't have the mother's touch you have, okay? Calm down, it's just a gash."
"Oh, just a gash. Because it's normal for me to have a valley digging through my forehead."
He was trying, though. I could see it in his face as he attempted to be ginger with the blood clots around the wounds, swiping at my hair. He took his sweet time, though, his eye drifting to my face now and again, and me giving a weak thumbs up to assure him I hadn't died. He went back to his cleaning without a word.
We were quiet as he continued to clean the wound on my forehead, the silence dragging. We were aware we were alone, but it was different from how we'd been sitting on the roof. This wasn't companionable. Things were a little tense, especially because of what we'd been talking about prior to my... accident.
Lavi had been telling me that Bookman and he had had an... argument, if it could be called that.
I call it a shouting match, but my definitions apparently didn't apply to this instance...even though I could hear them across the hallway. It had sounded like they were talking in snake hisses. Guiltily, I'd eavesdropped a little, and I left when Lavi's voice began to crack, on the verge of tears.
Bookman thought Lavi was too attached to the Order, as always. From what I could gather, Lavi and Bookman had had this conversation several times. To me, it was surprising that Lavi hadn't made friends until now. After all, he was eighteen years old. It was about time he got some actual social interaction with real, live human beings who were decent. Seeing war all your life couldn't be good for the mind, and I'd already experienced some of that secondhand.
But those were his demons, and some people get awfully possessive of them. He'd already shown he was touchy about the eyepatch. No need to dig up his dead dogs.
Because he might start digging up mine.
"Are you feeling alright?" he asked stiffly, hesitantly looking at me.
I got the feeling that he was trying (and ultimately failing) at his duties as a Bookman.
"Well... I just bashed my forehead into a counter. So I'm not feeling so hot. But it's not getting any worse," I sighed, finally cracking open an eye. The light was almost too bright, but I put that down to the concussion.
"I can't believe you were lying there for almost an hour. None of us knew," Lavi muttered to himself, continuing with his mothering.
Typically this was my job, but more and more it seemed I was being the mothered instead of the mother.
"It was an accident," I said. "Don't beat yourself up... too badly."
He smirked at my last comment, and he slapped the damp rag on my head.
"Don't go getting a big head."
Bookman came in, and I gripped the sheets inadvertently. Aw, crap. Here comes my least favorite part of everything.
Stitches. I could handle most anything. Reattach bones? You betcha, slap those bad boys back together. Bruises? Hot water bottles are miracles in clay form. Concussion? Just shake it off, you'll be fine. Fell off a building and into a dumpster? Done it more than once, and I'll learn to pay attention to rooftop gaps next time.
Stitches? Someone give me a shot of morphine and finger of whiskey and hold my hand while I scream for my mommy.
Bookman shooed Lavi out of the room, and the redhead complained all the way out. I gave the biggest pout I could manage to him as he left, and all he did was shoot me an apologetic thumbs up. I collapsed back on the bed in dejection.
Bookman worked quietly before breaking the silence:
"Magnolia, I need to have a talk with you..."
Lavi stood at the door. He'd been told to wait on the female Exorcist (this seemed to be a preoccupation of his, either by default or by choice), and now his mentor didn't want him to do his freaking job. For Pete's sake, it was a simple stitch job! And it wasn't even on anything revealing!
Obviously, something was up. And he had an idea what it was.
Bookman had singled out almost every single one of his core team. He'd talked to Allen, he'd talked to Lenalee, he'd talked to Reever and Komui and the Science Department, he'd talked to Kanda. Piece by piece, his entire social sphere was being picked away by the old man, and he knew it was for his own good, but man if it didn't hurt.
Because he could see it on their faces when they looked at him.
You're going to leave soon. You're going to go ahead of us, to someplace else. You have bigger duties, bigger than ours here, to record everything for the future. You're going to do great things, but you have to let us go in the process. You don't need us, not really. We can only hurt you. So we will let go of you... because we love you.
It was their choice whether or not they decided to abandon him, but he knew that the seed had been planted. He'd been reverting back to his mask, trying to hide behind it, trying to find it again. The only person who didn't treat him differently was Yuu, but that was only because no one could make Kanda care about something unless he wanted to care about it. He acted the same- hitting him in the head and telling him to shut up and making mean jokes and calling him an idiot.
But Lavi didn't mind. Because it meant he was still somebody.
To Maggie, he was still somebody, and Bookman was going to try and take that away.
He put his ear to the doorjamb, desperately attempting to listen.
"I think you understand why I'm here."
"Kind... yeah I... but I guess...explain."
He could only get bits and pieces of Mag's voice. She was quieter than Bookman, didn't project as well unless someone was doing something they weren't supposed to, like putting salt in the sugar container.
He hadn't realized she could be so loud. She'd ruined the whole joke.
"You must understand, Magnolia, that we are not part of this war."
"Yeah."
He dropped to his knee to look into the key hole. He could barely make out Bookman's silhouette. Next to it, he could see Mag's hand gripping the sheets, tightening in time with the motion of Bookman pulling on stitches, and he winced in sympathy.
"What are you do-" Kanda asked scathingly from the end of the hall, but Lavi just gave him a wide-eyed, "don't you even dare" look, as well as a raised finger. He put it to his lips, signalling silence, and Kanda rolled his eyes in a long-suffering manner, returning to his room.
"I know you are good friends with him. I don't wish to mar that friendship."
Well... if those weren't blatant lies.
"Yes...?"
"But I believe it best if you kept in mind that we may be called to leave at any time in the near future. And I understand that would be painful for both parties."
There was a tense silence. If Lavi didn't know better, he suspected that Bookman almost sounded... sad.
"I understand. You... me to ...op talking ...im."
"That is not what I was implying. But he is my apprentice. I don't want to make this harder for him than it already is."
Lavi looked down at the floor. He bit his lip, chewing his thoughts over as he closed his eyes tight. Perhaps it hadn't been right of him to think of Bookman with such... bitterness. Lavi had a higher calling than mucking around in blood and weapons... and people.
"Yes... I apologize. I'll... try...ake...it easier."
"I greatly appreciate your cooperation, Magnolia."
"Just... call me Mag. Really."
There was the sound of footsteps as Bookman got up to leave, and Lavi quietly stood to get out of the way of the door opening. Lavi looked into the room over Bookman's head to stare at Mag, but her head was turned, no doubt because of the new stitches she'd received.
"Lavi," Bookman stated insistently.
Lavi looked down at his diminutive teacher, tightening his eye. Bookman stared back, shutting the door behind him resoundingly. The two of them stood across from each other, tension increasing like a harp string continually being pulled to its breaking point.
"There is a reason for this, Lavi," Bookman said wearily, beginning to walk back to his room.
"I know, but that doesn't make it any less painful," Lavi spat at his teacher's back. "Why her? I can't at least have one person? For a little while?"
"You know your place."
"Yeah, to watch everyone around me die while I stand by and fiddle with my notebook."
"You had never complained about it before."
"That's because I didn't have frie-... people."
They trekked down the hall, Lavi easily keeping up with the small man's strides.
"Look. This is for your own good, Lavi. She's doomed besides," Bookman sighed nonchalantly, fiddling with the key to his room.
"They're all doomed. We're all doomed. The world ends, we go ka-blooey- What does it matter?" Lavi groaned, dramatically throwing up his hands and shaking his head in exasperation.
Bookman, however, could not take much more of this. Lavi didn't know how much it hurt him, either. The boy couldn't see past his nose at his master's pain. Bookman had grown fond of them, too. And he knew how it would end.
"She's dying," Bookman snapped sharply at him, turning on a heel to stare at his apprentice.
Lavi stopped, staring at him as if he'd been punched. His face contorted into a variety of facial expressions, from shock to confusion to introspection.
"Wait...what-?"
"I'm surprised you haven't noticed, apprentice. This should have opened your eyes more than anything," Bookman grumbled, pushing the door to his room open, throwing his medical bag on to the bed.
Lavi followed him in, still perplexed.
"What do you mean, 'she's dying'?" he asked quietly, keeping in mind her room was down the hall. "What does...What... Why didn't you tell her? You mean right now? Her head wound wasn't..."
Bookman stood at the window, and for one of the few times Lavi noticed, Bookman looked tired, his back bent and his head leaned forward as the clouds passed over the moon.
"It's not the head wound, is it?"
Bookman shook his head, continuing to stare out the window.
"What's the matter with her?" Lavi asked quietly, his voice small.
Lavi'd lost so many. He'd thought he'd lost Allen and... and Lenalee and Kanda... They'd always come back, and he had renewed faith in their resilience.
But he'd also seen Finders go, and he'd seen Exorcists go. He'd seen scientists kick it, and he'd seen foot soldiers die in all sorts of gruesome ways. He'd seen civilians die, in the wrong place at the wrong time. He'd seen the light in their eyes fade.
But they hadn't been one of his.
"You know her former occupation?"
Lavi reluctantly nodded. He'd honestly felt a tad guilty, looking up her file, but he was naturally curious. He knew that she knew, and sometimes he could see she was angry and ashamed about it. That was trust he would never be able to earn back. Still, he hoped that the knowledge would allow him to better help her in the future.
He was aware that he wasn't the only one with nightmares.
"Have you not noticed? Her medical history? How she walks with her feet slapping the ground, her neurotics? Her mood swings or how she's constantly paranoid?" Bookman asked. "Or did you not want to notice?"
Lavi collapsed on the bed, thinking hard. Mood swings... her nightmares... her clumsiness... He'd put that down to her past, her mentality, and her physical ineptitude. He had never thought of them as symptoms of something larger.
"She will die soon. Not this year. Not next year, even. But soon. She has few years left, and she doesn't even know it. I thought it better to... let her enjoy the illusion of immortality a while longer," Bookman muttered quietly.
He was fiddling with a needle between his fingers. Lavi came to stand by him, staring at the city of Boston. America- the land of opportunity. Sometimes he wondered if he would've lived here, if he'd gotten the chance to live something like a normal life.
"You still haven't told me what's the matter," he said in a murmur, his eye softening as he looked at the old man. He knew, though. He knew.
"Syphilis. She's in the late stages, and it has begun affecting her nervous system. I plan on telling Kanda, to prepare him, but I want to be sure. I took a blood sample while I was at it. I want the Order to look at it before I tell her," Bookman stated in a stiff manner. Yet, Lavi could see the hard set to his jaw.
Lavi looked out, but he wasn't seeing the city.
"What are we going to tell her family?" Lavi breathed, unable to take it in. "What are we going to tell her?"
Bookman looked at Lavi almost sardonically, an edge of 'you deserve it' with a hint of regret.
"That is for you to figure out. Because you will be telling her."
I saddled up the horse, busying my mind with work. I must've impressed Kanda, because he honestly had nothing to say when he saw all the horses tacked, packed, and ready to go for the journey to Montreal. Of course, Kanda's default mode was typically silence, so it was just as likely he was unhappy as he was happy.
Actually, I'm not sure if Kanda would even understand the word 'happy', much less feel it.
"Magnolia, here is some pain medication for your ribs and your head. Only two tablets a day, or else you will find yourself dragged behind your horse," Bookman warned as he hobbled over and handed me a package.
I stuffed it into one of my saddlebags and thanked him. He bowed and hobbled away, perfunctory as usual.
The street was alive with horses and carts, everyone ready to head out for the day. I'd been allowed to sleep in (oh, there is a God), and I'd only had to run about a kilometer(again, I concede the prior point that a God exists), so I had enough energy to get everything ready. Lavi and Bookman had bought all our supplies, I'd packed them all, and Kanda had lugged them down the stairs. The sun was bright and shining, the birds were tweeting in the trees, Lavi was trying harder than usual to annoy me, and Kanda was... well, himself.
"You're gonna have lots of fun in Canada!" Lavi practically shouted in my ear, vibrating right next to me. I leaned away to save my eardrums from implosion.
"Yeah," I sighed, glad for his enthusiasm. Someone had to be happy about this arrangement. "I'm sure I will. Especially with my own personal storm cloud to accompany me."
I shot a look at Kanda. Luckily, I wasn't in earshot.
He glared very suddenly at me, and I turned away sweating bullets. Okay, maybe I was within earshot.
Only two weeks. I had to remember; this would only take two weeks, and then the nightmare ends.
"Hey, at least he'll keep you safe. You won't have to worry about the Akuma," Lavi offered.
"Unless I'm too slow to keep up."
"... Well, it's a good thing you've been running every day."
"Lavi!" Bookman shouted. "It's time to go! Leave them be."
The old man had somehow maneuvered himself onto his own horse, and I was honestly questioning the laws of physics, because there shouldn't be any conceivable way for him to get up there without assistance. It didn't help that the horse was a Clydesdale.
"How did he-" I asked, pointing.
"I've long since stopped asking," Lavi sighed, ruffling my hair.
"Ow ow ow! Careful, I've got stitches!"
"Oh! I'm sorry! I forgot about that," Lavi apologized, laughing nervously. I winced as I gingerly rubbed around the stitches, and I sighed.
We looked at each other, but he averted his gaze, a smile dying on his face. Lately he'd been... oddly distant. Perhaps Bookman had talked to him again, after he'd talked to me?
Honestly it had offended me. I understand that Lavi had duties to his 'clan' and whatnot, but by the Lord, I wasn't going to let him suffer by himself in this war. He'd seen enough. If there was anything worse than being in a war, it's being ignored while you're in it. Still, it seemed that maybe Bookman had gotten to him more than me. I wasn't prone to being frightened or intimidated awayfrom the people I love. And if there was anyone who needed love...
I couldn't imagine what his life was like. He'd explained it to me, and I still couldn't believe it. War after war after war... One was bad enough for me.
"I guess I should get going. Kanda's probably halfway there by now," I muttered, looking for him. Of course, he was already at the gate, ready to leave. I wasn't surprised. Patience wasn't his friend.
There was a moment where Lavi and I looked at each other, and there was some kind of sadness hanging over us. It was the same one that had shadowed my siblings as they'd left one by one on their first mission without me. Lavi had become something like a part of my family. I was going to feel awfully lonely.
"Here, let me help you onto your horse," Lavi offered, and I let him help me mount my steed.
The day was steadily warming up, and sweat was beginning to run down my back. Pain kept shooting down my hip, but I had landed on the tile pretty hard. Not to mention, all that running had my feet feeling battered. Lavi had been nice enough to run with me and slow down, but Kanda... was less kind. He drove a punishing pace, and I was too scared not to keep up.
I was glad Lavi had the forethought to help me get into the saddle, otherwise I probably would've made it halfway up and then found myself without the energy to continue.
The horse, to its credit, did not buck or whinny. If anything, it kind of just rolled its eyes at me as if to say 'amateur'. I honestly couldn't care less. As long as it wasn't a camel or an elephant, I could handle it. Horses didn't make me seasick - or, rather, land-sick. Nevertheless, that didn't mean I wasn't wary.
Anything with more than two legs couldn't be up to much good. With four legs, you're crafty. With six legs, you're disgusting. With eight legs, I will kill you with the nearest household appliance heavy enough to squish you.
"Well, I'll see you, I guess," I said, smiling a little, hoping for closure.
"Oh! Wait, before I forget," he said, digging around in his coat pocket.
I groaned and leaned backwards. If we didn't hurry, I was going to have make my way to Montreal by myself. Kanda looked like he was ready to burn down the gates to Hell, much less the road to Canada.
"Here."
He handed me a bag, a cloth bag I recognized. My face fell, and I could feel tears pricking my eyes. Oh Lord, not this again.
"I'm ready this time!" Lavi said with a massive smile, handing me a hankie.
I tried my hardest not to look like an utter fool, sobbing on my horse over a bag of chocolate (and maybe the fact that I was leaving a good friend for an unknown amount time - but that was only a small part, right?). My bottom lip quivered as he gave me that goofy smile, and I realized that I was going to miss this little treat after every mission.
And the late night talks. And the horrible, punny jokes. And the pranks. And the red hair in my brush. Cooked breakfast every morning (because heaven knows, Kanda was no cook). Telling stories... speaking in French around people and making up stupid stories about them...slapping him for said stories when they got horribly raunchy...
This was not helping my composure. Magnolia, pull yourself together!
I took the chocolates with an unsteady smile. I opened my mouth, realized I didn't know what to say, and I pressed my lips together as I held a hand to my mouth. Finally, I stuffed them into a saddlebag and said, "Thank you."
He patted my knee and gripped it gently before saying, "Just... call me when you need me. Alright?"
His eye was knowing, and I squirmed under his gaze. He'd been flip flopping all morning between giving me the cold shoulder and acting like I was never coming back, giving me mixed signals. It was as if he wanted so badly to say something. If he did, he'd better spit it out, because I was on an emotional gallop as it was.
"Hey! We don't have all day!" Kanda shouted from the gate. I was surprised he hadn't kicked it down yet. I was very tempted to give him an irate hand gesture, but the mother in me refused. It wouldn't change anything anyhow.
We looked at each other again. He gripped my hand tightly just as I was about to motion forwards. I stared at him with a questioning look, unsure. He held on as if I was about to launch off the end of a cliff.
"...Prends soin de toi," Lavi answered seriously, looking at me from the ground with a glassy eye.
Take care of yourself.
"...Oui. Au revoir, Lavi," I said, unable to keep the bewilderment out of my voice.
Sure. Until I return, Lavi.
He let go of my hand, my fingers slipping across dry skin, reluctant. Our fingertips seemed to linger for a bit, unwilling to pull away. I didn't want to leave, and he didn't want me to either.
I began towards the gate, feeling his eyes burn holes into my back. When I pulled up to Kanda, he had a sour look, probably from having to sit and wait.
"Che," he spat as he went out the gate, not meeting my gaze. I wasn't surprised at his irritation. I myself was irritated as well, but for vastly different reasons. As we rode into the street, I looked behind me.
Lavi stood in the drive, Bookman's Clydesdale behind him, both the old man and the young apprentice giving me the same, thousand yard stare.
I waved. They didn't wave back.
A/N: I seem to be on a roll with the chapters lately! I'm working on a backlog of chapters, so hopefully this will continue at a regular basis. I've already got ideas, and they'll be coming out soon, hopefully. Obviously, the focus of the next chapters will be Maggie and Kanda, and I hope you're all psyched for that!
My endless praise to my beta. Give a digital clap for karina001 for being patient and working tirelessly. She's a great lady.
Thank you, random Guest, for giving me a review! It warmed the atria of my heart. So happy you enjoy the story! I'm very flattered. Don't worry about constructivism- just say what you've got on your mind.
Thank you, new subscribers Willjaceherondale and subscriber/favoriteer hahaha sounds ingenuous! To the latter, I find your name interesting and amusing, and to the former, I vaguely recall the reference of that name, but I can't quite place it. Anyhow- I am thankful for your support!
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