Thirty Three: Awkward Questions
Astrid looked across a sea of faces, eyes all focussed on her and felt a shiver of trepidation. Usually, when she held a press conference, she knew the outcomes, she was in control of the questions and what they got to know…but this time, she was at the mercy of what they wanted to ask. Heather had organised the conference at Hiccup's request and he had been in charge of everything.
And she had let him.
Give him the power.
And she had to admit, it felt uncomfortable, being at the mercy of someone else's whims and desires, not really having a say in what happened to her, what course they would take. And though she thought she had been giving Hiccup a say, he hadn't really had one…not in anything that was actually important. He had been a passenger in her life and she had been thoughtless more than once with his heart and his feelings. And though he had forgiven her and given her another chance, she was still wracked by guilt.
"Thank you for coming," she said, feeling the tremor in her hands. "I know it has been a full seven days since everything happened…but I am sure you understand that my priority had to be Hiccup and supporting him…being with him."
There were nods and a movement in the corner of her eye as he limped forward. Originally, he had planned to sit at the back and watch but as he saw Astrid so anxious, he hadn't been able to hang back. He was on crutches and winced as he moved but he had stubbornly signed his own discharge so he could be with his (still secret) wife. Pale, the bruise still dark on his forehead but his emerald eyes sparkling with concern for Astrid, Hiccup manoeuvred himself to sit at her side.
"And I am so very grateful she came for me," he added softly.
"How are you?" one of the reporters called. He managed a small smile.
"I'll live…but I think my dancing days are over," he said lightly. "I mean sure, I was stabbed twice, concussed and smashed my ankle but I've had worse days. Certified nerd. I have at least almost died of embarrassment three times." There was a ripple of applause as the reporters responded to his courage and Astrid leaned close.
"You didn't have to be here," she murmured. "I could have coped on my own."
"Being yours means you shouldn't have to," he reminded her gently and his hand brushed hers. A tiny smile lifted her lips.
"As you can see, we're back together," she said without preamble. All eyes turned back to the young man and he nodded.
"Yup," he confirmed. "I mean, as a friend once said to me, anyone who has a friend who will run halfway across the Archipelago when they could be in trouble definitely has the best friend imaginable! And that is just what Astrid did for me. She showed me that she cared, that I was important and that she was willing to drop everything to come and talk things out."
"So…?"
"I asked her to marry me after she had punched Bella out," he admitted as every single reporter gaped. "I mean, if you don't feel like proposing then, when are you going to?" Another laugh rippled through the room.
"And I was hardly likely to turn him down when he had saved my life," Astrid reminded them. "He stepped between me and Bella when she was armed. He was a complete hero."
"So why did you leave?" the Berk Viking reporter asked.
"It was my fault," Astrid announced clearly. Every eye fell on her. Everyone focussed on her and her cheeks heated under the close-and not very sympathetic-scrutiny. "I ignored Hiccup and what was most important to him. I was focussed on my career and business interests and was careless in ensuring that his needs were all met. And though we had to deal with some Bella issues, it all seemed fine."
"But it wasn't," Archipelago News interrupted.
"No-at the Awards, I got swept up in being a winner and ignored Hiccup-which convinced him that he wasn't worthy of me. The muttonhead…" Astrid said and he gave a hurt look.
"Um…was nearly stabbed to death-twice…" he protested. She leaned over and kissed him.
"Sorry, babe," she murmured. "Look-I went to the Club…"
"Because I didn't feel like coming," Hiccup interrupted. She stared at him. "Milady, you know Thuggory asked me and I said go ahead, I was feeling tired. But I felt really awkward anyway and I knew I wasn't a part of your world."
"So I decided to get a better world," she reminded him. "One with you always in it."
"There was a rumour that you and Thuggory were making out at the Bifrost," the North Star reporter challenged them. "And of course, you and he had an affair in the past…"
"No, we didn't," Astrid said through her teeth. "That was a lie, courtesy of Dag the cheating in-the-closet-gay ass to make it seem my fault that we split up!"
"Thuggory as good as confirmed it!" the reporter persisted.
"Well, he is one of Dag's best friends…wanna ask him about that?" Astrid riposted.
"But he was seen at the Archipelago Zap Celebrity Awards with you!" Hiya Magazine pointed out.
"No, that was Astrid Bergstrom, the swimmer," Astrid snapped. "Please get your Astrids right! There really aren't that many of us…"
"Boy, that Thuggory really does get around," Hiccup commented. "It's a wonder he finds any time to play soccer!"
"But I did kiss him in the Club," Astrid admitted. "Well…he kissed me…until Jannicke pulled him off me. But he did take me back to my apartment-where he knew my fiancé was waiting to make sure I got to bed safely."
"Oooh-I bet you weren't happy about that," North Star sneered at Hiccup but the auburn-haired man calmly stared back.
"No," he admitted. "Thuggory isn't a particularly nice person. My difficulties with Bella are not something I am proud of and even though I was a victim of partner abuse, it is something that is very hard to cope with. And I have spoken up on behalf of those men who aren't fortunate enough to have an Astrid, an angel who takes them in and falls in love with them when it is the thing they most need. And for Thuggory to sneer at me because of that…just really gives you the measure of the man."
"And I would much rather spend the rest of my life with a man who is so brave and so unassuming that he forever downplays his achievements and his amazing qualities rather than a man who can play soccer well-but is otherwise a snide, selfish, self-serving, callous ass!" Astrid told them firmly. There were nods and Hiccup looked across the room, feeling a surge of relief. They had navigated all the trickiest questions that he had been considering as he had lain in his sick bed.
"Anything else you want to know?" he asked. There was a pause.
"Do you have plans to marry?" Archipelago Zap Magazine asked eagerly and the two shared a look-and then Astrid started to giggle.
"We may have discussed it," Astrid admitted, still giggling.
"And?" Everyone was excited and leaning forward. Hiccup chuckled.
"We'll let you know," he said. There were 'awws' and groans. "Guys-I've literally just got out of hospital after nearly dying. I have a lot of wounds to get over and a lot of things to sort out. A trial, for example…"
"And you'll let us know as soon as you have some news?" the Berk Viking asked.
"Heather will make a formal announcement," Astrid promised. "But it won't be until after the season. And for the next few weeks, I am going to have to take some time to help Hiccup recover. He is all that is important. I have discussed with Coach Harildssen and the owner of the Valkyries, Mr Trayder and they both agree-as long as I play in the most important fixtures…"
"Do your team-mates know about this?" the Hysterical Reporter asked.
"I have spoken with them all," Astrid confirmed.
"Any other questions?" Hiccup prompted but there were shakes of heads. The police had already made a much more detailed statement about the attack and the fact that Bella was held on remand with no prospect of bail. She was already blaming Hiccup and had claimed he had called her-but the papers had already scoured through her phone records and proven this wasn't the case. Every single journalist had painted her as the most hated woman in the Archipelago for her actions and the effect was so strong that Ron 'the Viking' had been replaced on his Friday evening show for his poor judgement in backing the abusive woman.
As the reporters filed out and the door closed, Heather walked forward from the back.
"So what did that achieve?' she asked. "I mean-they still don't know…"
"I think I need a chance to process everything," Hiccup told her calmly. "And what Astrid and I said in my hospital room is definitely private." She smiled and shook her head.
"You are pretty sneaky, babe," Astrid commented. "But I'm puzzled. Why didn't you tell them the truth?"
"About the wedding?" he checked.
"About the Club…and Thuggory?" she asked him, her eyes wary. He sighed.
"And what would that achieve, Astrid?" he asked her gently.
"It would exonerate you," she pointed out.
"At your expense," he reminded her. "People would blame you-and you told them enough that they knew you were stupid, selfish and thoughtless. I don't want you to lose everything because of that. You hurt me, Astrid-but I love you. I said you checked with me and I gave you leave to go…with Thug…so that defuses a lot of questions. But we do need to talk-and with professionals. I don't want there to be secrets or any unresolved issues between us. I don't want guilt or anger or jealousy festering underneath the surface." She looked up sharply, wondering if he had read her mind about what she had realised about herself. "And we have to communicate, to talk. Both are equal. Both are as important. If there is disagreement, we negotiate and we don't accept an outcome that has one or both feeling hard done by."
"Wow," she murmured as Heather stared at him.
"You've been talking to my brother," she realised.
"Not much else I can do-apart from stare at the ceiling and think," he reminded her, demonstrating his bandaged hands. "And I have had a lot to think about. Four years of feeling rejected and useless, three of being undermined and picked to pieces, of being told I was completely worthless and the best I could hope for was a relationship where I was terrified to ever stand up for anything I wanted and knew was right because I would be beaten or burnt and just made to feel so ashamed…"
Astrid blinked and palmed a tear from her face. He gave a gentle smile, raising a bandaged hand and wiping to moisture from her cheek with a thumb.
"It's okay, Milady," he murmured. "But I want to make sure that you understand why I may sometimes react differently to how you would expect. And why some things are so very dear to me. We were both to blame for you leaving…you should have called me…but I should have said something sooner. If we had communicated better, maybe things would have been different." She nodded wordlessly.
"I'm sorry," she said, her voice rough. He immediately shuffled round to face her and clasped her face in his hands, kissing her tenderly.
"Astrid-I'm not trying to make you feel bad but to illustrate that omissions as well as direct actions have consequences," he told her, staring deep into her eyes. "But we are where we are and we have to deal with what is in front of us, not what might have been." He smiled. "So, my beautiful wife, what do we do next?" Astrid glanced over to Heather and she nodded.
"Mr Trayder's plane is on the runway, at your disposal," she confirmed as Astrid kissed Hiccup once more.
"Well, my handsome and brave husband-let's go home!" she said.
